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Crucible

Note: The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is mentioned again in this part.

(Written in Rodney McKay's PoV)

So hot.

I'm so hot. Please turn the heat down. Make it cooler, please, I'm sorry...

I'm sorry, I'll be good, I'll do better next time but don't leave me alone in that cramped, hot and dark space. I know better, you don't need to put me there again. I won't do anything stupid next time, just let me go, let me go! ... Why aren't you letting me go? I said I was sorry, I'll do better, I learn from my mistakes. Please... let me go... don't put me in the dark again, not again, not again... stop...

“Rodney, Rodney we're trying to help you.”

It's that presence again. The one that's always hovering over me for as long as I can remember. The one that seems to alternate between being kind and being nasty. The heat rolls over me again and I twist, trying to find some cool spot but there's no relief, no escape. The presence is holding my arms, trying to stop me moving and I scream, the sound tearing at my throat but I don't care, I just want the heat to go away.

“You need to calm down Rodney... it's me.” The presence says and I wonder just who it is. All I can see is a dark blob. I blink and the heat is gone, along with the presence. Well, it's not gone far. Did I fall asleep? I must have because I don't think Sheppard has developed the ability to teleport – although nothing would surprise me with that man. At least the heat is gone. Oh great, I had to think that didn't I? I can feel the heat starting to rise again.

“Rodney? Can you hear me?” Sheppard asks, running a hand through his messy hair. What sort of question is that? Well... a perfectly valid one I guess. He stands up, leaving his plastic chair and he looks even more rumpled that normal. Then Sheppard is gone and a dark, blazing beast is standing in his place, a hand of fire reaching out for me.

I whimper.

Some time has passed. It must have because the room is dim and cool, blissfully cool. The fire beast is gone and only Sheppard is left, curled up in the same plastic chair. I would have frowned at that, except my face was aching and didn't seem to want to move at all.

“Shep...” It's only a whisper but he hears. He opens his eyes in a flash and stretches, his bones making noises as they pop.

“Hi.” Okay. Worse comment ever. 'Hi'? I'm a fricking genius and all I can think to say is 'hi'?

“Hi yourself.” Sheppard answers, only when he says it, it doesn't sound like such a stupid comment. Alright, it does, but the way he says it... it doesn't sound as bad as when I say it. I smile faintly at him, but it must have come out more as a grimace because Sheppard frowns and scoots closer, dragging the chair with him. For a while there is silence and I'm grateful, though I could really use some ice chips for my throat.

“You know, for a so called genius, you're pretty dim.” Sheppard said at last, his fingers drumming a tune on his knee.

“I have a brain the size of a planet.” I wheeze out, my chest tightening. Sheppard's becoming fuzzy though I don't tell him that. It's kinda nice to be able to talk to him like this, as if nothing had changed and we were friends after all.

“Back to quoting that book again?” Sheppard snaps, as if he doesn't find the comparison I just made funny. Strange that. You would have thought that he would have jumped at the chance to compare me to Marvin from the book. A paranoid, whining, complaining robot. Nobody cared about his feelings or even if he had any. He didn't have any friends either. Though at the very end Dent said he was a friend... though that was probably more of the 'he's going to die so we better be nice to him' thing.

Wow, the similarities between us just keep appearing don't they?

“Rodney?” Sheppard said carefully, his face leaning in closer to me. I guess he was waiting for some kind of answer to his last comment but my chest is getting even more tight and I'm having trouble breathing. The heat is back as well and I think he must notice because he's shouting, almost screaming for Carson.

“Hey... John...” I say, using his first name, my voice sounding pathetic compared to his shouts. He must have heard me though because his head snaps back to look at mine and wow, there is differently panic in his eyes.

“Rodney, save your breath.” He tells me shortly and then he's moved away, yelling again, shouting, asking where the hell everyone else is. I smile, even though it hurts and it's a sad smile or rather it's a sad and happy smile.

“Do you... remember God's last message to creation?” I ask him and it's really important that he hears this, that he understands. But he isn't listening to me, not really. At least I think he's not but then he answers me.

“If this is from that book... I never read all the series.” He said – and why doesn't that surprise me? Then he is moving back to the bed as Carson and a nurse run in, Carson explaining that there were some emergency. I don't care. Carson's moved over to me and he's frowning but I reach out, lightly touching John's arm, using energy I didn't know I still had.

“We... apologise...” I gasp out, trying to summon enough breath to tell him.

“Rodney...” John said, his tone almost hard but then his voice trailing off, but I can't stop even though everything is differently getting very fuzzy and the edges of my vision are starting to grey.

“for the....” Talking is almost impossible now, but that's okay because there is only one word left and I'm going to finish it because... because I need to.

“Don't do this lad.” Huh? Carson? You still here? Oh yeah.. I suppose you would be wouldn't you, because there is something wrong with me... something big.

“... inconvenience.” There. I'm finished and thank goodness for that because there is no air left in my lungs and they don't seem to be working correctly any more and I could really do with some new oxygen.

It hurts and I'm twisting, my mouth opening, trying to breathe but I can't draw in any new air. And there are shouts and hands touching me, holding me down, confusion above me and I wish I knew where John and Carson are standing because I can't see them, I can't see anything – I'm pretty sure my eyes have rolled back into my head. It hurts, it hurts and it's not getting any better. A whine sounds in my ear getting louder and louder, as I jerk violently on the bed and I'm panting now, I need some air, some precious oxygen now, bef-

TBC...

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