Journal 4

I thought about how wizardry worked in the Faery Realm. I had learned that the Faery word for shaman was "Elcyrr" (or something like that...). I decided I could just use my intent and step into my "tree-house" in the Oberon's village (my Faery home away from home, so to speak), from my window, and so I did. I thought perhaps it would help pondering this in an Elven environment. I felt the subtle tapping at the edge of my awareness after I had "stepped" into my Faery home. Permission for a friend to enter. And I heard the response given, concerning the difference of shaman and wizard was "role"...discovering what role was to be played, was needed, what purpose to be accomplished. So I asked, "How does that translate in Faery, then?"
He said that Elves and Faeries and such of this Realm are naturally of magic. So depending on the need, the Elcyrr of the Village is one or the other... it is merely a shift of intent. Shamans tend to work within or for a particular Realm. There are some who cross into other Realms, but their intent is held with that particular Realm. A Wizard works transdimensionally, sees the greater weave, works toward the highest good in a holistic sense of the Universe - of all Realms - beyond the limits of time, space, realm, species and thought. Then he said, "We, in the Faery Realm, accept you as a Shaman here. But you have also shown Wizard talent by accomplishing Merlin's task." (see Ruby link below)
"And what of the two Elves that accompanied me," I asked. "By Merlin's power and your intent, they were able to walk with you. They didn't do anything. They didn't carry anything. And, truly, they are not at all interested in doing such work. It was only because of Merlin's request and the Oberon's acquiesence to that, that caused them to go. They were not comfortable in that role. But you were." "Well," I said, "it is beginning to process, but I feel like I'm 'getting it' so slow." He just chuckled and said, "You believe your safety is dependent on knowing everything right now. Truly, it is merely in trusting and believing yourself. The course you are in," he continued, "will help stabilize your foundation in shamanic work. Having that will provide a place to build your wizard self. It is not necessary to share this. It will not be understood, and is your road alone. This is not to say you won't meet others -- just that it's not time yet."
I replied, "I guess I feel like I am somehow diminishing my accomplishment in being able to be here in this Elven Realm and still seeking more..."
Quickly, he answered, "Oh, no, far from that. We respect your Journey. We knew from the Beginning where your Journey was going. We waited to welcome you here, and so it has come to pass. We also know that this was not your destination but rather a Way Station on your Path. Many of us, me included, are very happy to have you here -- not because you're human, but because you're Elcyrr, and that brings good fortune."
I thanked him for the conversation and company, and returned to my room in the Wizards' Hall. So much of my "reality" was my perception and intent, and some of it was projection and fear. But during a quiet Time, I heard Spirit tap me on the shoulder and 'speak': "Remember that the Force, the Spirit, that which Is, has sentience in and of Itself. And in that sentience can reach out and knock gently on your door of awareness. I am not dependent on your intent or perception. I am not dependent on your belief. I am that I am."
And so, I am reminded once again to be completely in the present, but relinquishing control. Listen -- step back and listen. Offer Light. Offer hope. Offer healing. But if I am chattering away, even metaphysically, I will not be aware of the Call, of the Need, of the Highest Good. Perhaps I am only meant to be a Wizard Counselor.

The Quest of the Ruby Stone
My Private Room
Journal 5: Homework...ick!