Tuesday-Sunday7/3/05
Topic: Day to day stuff
This past week, helping the girls with their new house started out nicely. Through Thursday, we painted. Wednesday night I went out on the front porch while talking went on inside and talked with God. That is when I got the idea for The HOW Signs for the mailbox and over the front door. It ended well with some worshipful prayer in a hug circle... not a huge circle, a hug circle consisting of Adam, Brandon, the three girls, Mark and I.. Good things happen even when you are not participating in the best way you can. That night I dropped Mark off at home and went to Walmart to pick up everything I needed to make them. Later that morning... (4:30AM) I went back to Walmart to get some glue and something to put on the wood to protect it. I think it was 6:30 when my mom woke up and was walking into the kitchen that I had already turned off my light and was quietly sliding under the covers. She didn't come in and check on me as far as I know... I woke up (Thursday) when Julie called and went back to continue to paint with Mark there as well. My attitude became less and less of what it should have been and more thinking about myself. Throughout this whole week, I was focusing on how I thought things should go and not what God wanted. This is not a good way to be. I kept my mouth shut a lot of the time because of the things I would have said. Kim came back from school and helped fresco (don't know if that's how it's spelled) Julie's wall. While they were doing this I was finishing the last touches on the signs since Mark and I are not adept to the fresco process... We're simple plain even paint rolling guys though we love the look of the finished frescoed wall. People started to come over for the Spiritual House cleaning and I presented the first sign to them while they were all right next to each other (the girls) then I showed them the one on the mailbox. Their reaction was satisfactory and Betsy thought of doing the same thing I figured she would (giving it a nice finish coat of wood varnish and hanging it in a nicer way) I went on from there while they started talking in the future worship room, right to praying. I started in Julie's room but when Mark came in and interrupted asking "what are you doing?" I motioned for him to go away and he understood but left the door open. I got up, closed it and went into the closet to continue praying. Most everything I prayed for in there was prayed for out loud later by the rest of the group as they went throughout the house. They cleared everything I felt should be cleared except for the spies of the enemy which I prayed away. Kim said she'd start painting at 10 the next morning. I planned to be there but when I got home that night I watched some TV (The Fifth Element) with my brothers and went to bed later than I should have. Friday I woke up late, got my schedule and check at Publix, got to the house where Kim had already finished painting the rest of the living room. We took some tape down, cleaned the rugs, I dropped Mark off at Youth group, came back and finished the rugs so Kim could pack her things... Kim and Julie came back when I was in the middle of finishing Kim's room and rushed me with hugging... It was awkward when I was trying to vacuum and I don't think my reaction presented the feelings of thankfulness and joy that I got from them. I'd like to understand what led to this event 'cause it's not a frequent occurrence. I didn't want to go 30 minutes home and come back early to help them move so I spent the night with Adam. Before we went to bed we went to Ruben’s house for a swim party. I borrowed Ruben’s trunks and had a blast being able to finally dive into a pool. I have battle scars from playing Watermelon Polo but it was fun too. Tasty reward at the end! Adam and I went to sleep after talking a bit about dreams we've had. I didn't get much sleep but woke up praying and had plenty of energy throughout the day moving all that furniture with that wonderful truck! Dad called and interrupted my fun, telling me I needed to come home so he can tell me about an errand he wants me to do... I'm thinking later that night but he said around 4:30. I finished as much as I could, putting together Julie's room just as I had pictured it, helping Betsy with her bed and desk... Brandon and Adam helped Kim with her room... Ruben and Justin helped with putting Julie's desk and bed together. I left at 4:10, not happy that I had to go. I became even less happy when I came home and find that I could have stayed about an hour longer since my parents didn't have anything for me that couldn't wait until then. I did the dishes, ate some yummy meat loaf and German Chocolate Cake, went on the computer, listened to what Dad wants me to do Tuesday, watched LotR, RotK Extras, helped Dad with the line “God” should say at the end of the skit we had the next morning at church, talked to Nicole and Carin online while searching for some pics to make Angelbeast77’s Avatar, researched the description of the four living creatures, and went to bed so that Aubrey could sleep since he was sleeping over in the living room to get ready for the trip my parents are taking with him to a conference. I then watched some more RotK extras up to the “Bigatures” section. I woke up but didn’t get out of bed when my dad came in to tell me what time it was and reminding me that the drama team was meeting 10 minutes before church… I left for the 30-minute drive, at 9:30 but got there at 9:53 just as they were about to meet. (Yes I sped almost 2 times the limit in some places) I knew Betsy was getting something from that service (otherwise why would she be at Vineyard instead of “her church”) I also saw it in her face… There’s more to that but anyway, I went with her, Julie and the Danners to shop for their new house, got subs at subway, followed them towards their place but stopped at Albertson’s for some ice cream and ended up getting ice cream sandwiches… which I still haven’t tasted and I’m now making myself hungry… I then organized their Worship room, spices… YARD… (Go to Kim’s Xanga with pictures for that bit.) That made Sean and I hungry. I walked their dog figuring he’d better be walked at some point or all Kim’s and my vacuuming would be for naught. Julie made considerable progress with her room so I was aloud to help her put a mirror up We had spaghetti for dinner with salad mmmm. After this, I felt like I should go outside and listen again. I got the perfect message for the doormat to go with the house, some things to pray for over them before I left, and some prompting to update my journal and add a section to it which will be… made up of several sections to share different types of wisdom for my fellow guys. Some things will apply to girls too but as I am a guy, it’s mostly for us… though I’m sure the girls will enjoy reading them. The Avatar is on hold for now. It’s 3:15 AM so I’m not going to start the new section yet ‘cause I have work from 4-11 tomorrow and will hopefully be able to do something before that and go to the girl’s house afterwards. I’m going to seek God on that one though. He may have me start work on the doormat, the wisdom, the Avatar or something completely different. Tonight while typing this, I talked to Betsy, Nicole, and Brandon, read Kim’s Xanga, Betsy’s Xanga, and Brandon’s Xanga… Does Adam have one? I also checked for an update from Julie several times though I knew she would not. It’s a bookmark right next to the others and I had to take a break from typing this ok! Hmm… under Two pages… I must have missed something… Well truly if I told everything it would be around 7 pages. Yes a page per day or half for some and more than one for others… It feels like I’m filling up a school paper with fluff to get the right word count only there’s no pressure. I just want to do it… I want to know if anyone else got anything else from the service at Vineyard or the skit… I want to have an ice cream sandwich… It would be cool to have a sleep-over at my house with Adam and Brandon and Sean! Take him off the girl’s hands for a night and teach him a few things that Adam and I noticed tonight… These things will be included in my new wisdom section. OK past 2 pages… Next time won’t you be… Please won’t you be--- My Neighbor. Guess who sings that and I’ll reward you with whatever seems best. The more details you give, the better the prize!

Sun-Mon 6-27-05
Sunday I went to church, got invited to go to Wild Adventures, went to Chilli's with the group, forgot to give Betsy the wallet that the guy we took home left in my car. I realized this on the way to meet with Erik at Food Court and ate a 6" sub, talked/listened to him, went to work, learned a new area of Deli, drove home, cleaned out my car in case anyone wanted to ride in it to Wild Adventures, did my laundry while going on the computer and watching TV with Jon, In bed by 3:10, prayed for a while and fell asleep eventually. I told God I'd set my alarm for 7 but to wake me up at whatever Time He wanted me up. I expected this to be an hour earlier but it ended up being an hour later so I rushed to Brian and Sandra's getting there just a little before nine when the time set was supposed to be eight. It all worked out fine. We went but did not take my car, had some fun detours on the way there, got two free tickets from some girl as we were just about to get our own at the ticket booth. We ate, did the water park, rain came so they shut that down but it re-opened later. We had some wonderful Icecream, rode some more rides, I'm still feeling the effects of them as I think of them... it's quite fun. We went to the Petting zoo, saw the lions and digers, watched an African Drum and dance show where the performing guys had a lot of fun and were really nice to the kids, talking to them and letting them try out the drum a bit... speaking of kids... My shoulders ache from carrying the Fink girls around and getting some sun. Julie had a fun time but kept away from the slow ride that swings back and forth and rotates so you are held upside down for a good while... I liked it. I still feel it. We played cards durring the ride there and back home. We prayed for Bryan's Niece 'cause she was having a major headache, Bryan and Sandra got a few things for her. I learned more about Julie's first baptism on the way back. We played two games of RumMemory at the Finks and then Julie and I left. I however could not find my keys, looking in all the pockets of both my bags, going back inside to pay Bryan back for the icecream he spotted me for since I put my cash in the car, got Sandra to open their car that I rode in so I could look for my keys. They weren't there so I looked through my bags again only to find them at the end in the bottom of my Back Pack after taking everything out. On the way home I asked God if I should go to gaurd the Fireworks for Reah. God said no. I asked again. He said no. I asked why. He said "I have something else for you." I have yet to find out what that is but I folded the last of my laundry that finished in the dryer, put them away, let mom get on the computer for emails and got back on the compute to type this up.

Fri 6/24-Sat 6/25
Topic: Day to day stuff
This one’s going to be a lot shorter I think because I am not going to type out every thing I did. My mom has now read my whole Blog and has told me that I need to talk more about my feelings (In not so little words). So… Though I don’t think I’m in touch with my feelings or don’t have many, I will concentrate more on the things that most of you do not know.
Any feelings during work… *thinking* Well I was annoyed about this one bagger who would most of the time come back inside with only one cart. I left him an almost finished row of carts and asked him to take it in since I already had five… but then after that I ended up getting ten anyway… I had fun for the first part bagging again and getting carts. Then I went to Deli and was glad that I was in the kitchen that night rather than serving customers… I don’t know everything and there is a lot more involved with serving customers. I was proud of myself when I finished less than 10 minutes after I was scheduled to and for once didn’t have to ask for a manager’s card to clock out… (If I had cleaned the microwave like I was supposed to, I wouldn’t have) I tried to tell myself that I didn’t really know that I was supposed to clean it but I really did… anyway… Oh why not. I’ll just go like I usually do and add in the feelings because there are some people who read this who were not there last night and did not hear me tell them what I did…
Jon (my younger, much taller brother) ended his shift at the same time I did and when we were leaving in our separate cars, he asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with him… I told him I was going to XA to pray. He replied, oh, so you’ll be home late then. (There was more to the conversation but it was mostly trying to understand each other over the sound of our cars and the distance between us… (I was parked and he had just pulled out and backed up to where I was parked.) I suddenly feel like telling a story… a made up one that has truths in it… later… We raced to the stoplight and then parted when I turned and he went straight home. I was disappointed when I saw that the gates at XA were closed and I had missed it. I wasn’t too surprised and as always (I say this too much ‘cause I don’t always trust God or understand that things are going as He plans them)… This time I just asked God where to go next and without stopping at XA (I just drove by slowly), I went to the girl’s house. I parked and turned my lights and engine off but did not roll down my windows because I did not think I would stay there for long. I saw Ben and Erik come out from the direction of their place as I sat in my car waiting. I did not know it was them at the time but I thought to myself ~ that looks like Ben and oh yeah he said he was going to be in town this weekend. ~ I still didn’t know for sure who they were as they ran out and threw a few poppers on the ground and brought a guitar inside. I waited a bit longer, got out, prayed around the building, not knowing what I would do next. Not thinking I should knock on the door or anything… I thought it would be interesting if I walked around 7 times like Joshua did, so I started counting how many times I did walk around. I wasn’t able to see anyone through the living room window until the last two times and I still wasn’t sure if it was Ben that I saw. I told God if he wanted me to knock, he’d have to make me ‘cause I wasn’t going to do that myself. (I don’t feel comfortable yet with just coming over without being invited and knocking on the door) I have done this a few times to Brad and Jake though… Sure enough, the seventh time around they all file out the door without looking behind them as I join the line without speeding up or anything. I thought this very funny and did not expect their reaction to be what it was. I was expecting a surprised “What are you doing here? That’s weird.” I guess they have thoroughly gotten used to me and just except it. When Betsy turned around to open her car door, she looked at me, looked closer, I waved, she knew it was me then and said “Hi Joel” in the way only she does. Julie said she thought that was me. Kim said she was thinking about I.M.ing me to invite me to come to the movies with them. Betsy asked if I was going to come with them. [Now to me and probably to you too now that you have read the former, it was obvious that I was supposed to go with them. What else was I to do? Instead of replying with the itchy “Duh” in my mind, since I knew they did not know what I knew, I asked Betsy what we were going to see. “Cinderella Man,” came the reply. All three of the girls wanted to ride in my car because “They didn’t want to ride in Ben’s car with a bunch of fireworks” Perhaps it’s just me but I don’t think this was the only reason. I had my backpack and bag of clothes and work clothes in the back seat. I was going to take them out and put them in the trunk after unlocking my “ghetto” doors with my pliers but Betsy just pushed them over to one side and after Ben and Erik’s complaint and my taking a while to open doors (It’s very hard to be a gentleman when 3 girls are trying to get into your locked car for which the electric locks don’t work anymore) Julie decided to go with them after all and I opened the door for Kim from the inside instead of what I would have done normally… ahem… Mom also asks me very strange questions that are very broad and hard to answer, “Are you learning anything Joel?” “I’m learning lots of things but most of it, I’ve already learned from you” “What have you learned from me” at this point I’m stumped… I roll my eyes and groan and try to think of an answer that will satisfy her. This may be my problem. I thought that it would be self explanatory what I’ve learned from my mom but either she just wants to hear me say it or really does not know how much of an influence she’s had in my life positively. Both ways, it’s exasperating. ‘nuff feelin for yah mom? Ahem…
Where was I… *looks back on what he’s typed*… grr it happened again… whenever I put those two stars on the sides of what I type, it goes bold in Word… anyway… Ok so I told the girls what I had just been doing the past half hour or so on the way to the movies thinking all the time about how I was driving because my mom frequently tells me to drive to the passenger’s comfort. I tested the boundaries and didn’t see them grab onto anything or seem uncomfortable as I’ve seen “some people” do when I’m driving far less wildly. I parked in my usual area and checked my doors to make sure they were locked because I’m used to my careless brothers rather than my considerate friends riding in my car. My throat was clogged up a bit but I waited until I got inside to the bathrooms to get it out. Get that mom? We got our tickets and went to our seats in the one theater I haven’t been in… Is theater the right word? “Showing room” is probably better. I noticed several others were praying during some of the previews and smiled. I actually almost laughed out loud. My house is actually very nice looking right now even Jon’s room! We’re going to have to take advantage of that and my lack of work this week. Done with the movie, liked it a lot, Julie’s hair and dress looked nice (It wasn’t a dress it was the way she dressed) I want some Frank Peretti Children’s books! That’s what I’d start with rather than Dr. Seuss for my kids, though I enjoyed those strange books very much and have some of them partially memorized because of the number of times I must have had my parents read them to me. I’m very… “all over the place” tonight… It’s better than taking a long time to remember what happened next. We went to Waffle House in the same fashion (all over the place and same people in the same cars) Some of us were not all there in the conversation at Waffle House at times, but it was fun, we heard Jokes, I showed off on the way back to their place just to show the point I had made of stick shifts being able to accelerate more at the driver’s will than automatics. We saw a guy walking along the road, very unstable and after we had parked, Kim went in and Betsy got me to go with her to help him out. He fell in the road after saying he was fine and only had a short way to walk home. A car was coming and I stepped out in the road and waved with my white shirt on (Betsy and the guy were both in black). We got him home safely. It was not a short way to walk in that condition. He was thankful and would not take no for an answer when giving us a 20. We went back, told the others about it, Betsy went to Bed, Ben and Erik left, I couldn’t get up so I stayed and talked and listened and prayed this time I prayed more between listening and for a lot of the time I just could not pray in tongues but continued to pray what came to my mind. I do not remember it for you. I’m sorry about that. Dawn came around and I finally was able to get off my chair only to the floor and just slept half under the table until 9… 6-9… that’s 3 hours… How do I have the energy to stay up after working another work shift to type this up? At least I’m not fasting at the same time. I prayed for a while and went in and out of prayer and sleep, eventually being able to get up and drive home… On the way home I ended up turning into my bank to put in a check though I knew that I probably didn’t have my check with me and then I realized that my bank is closed on Saturdays. From there I ended up going back into town to my mom’s work thinking I should let her know what’s been going on since I did not call. When I got there, I didn’t see her car and also remembered that it was Sat. and she didn’t work Sat. most of the time… Again I asked God what to do. I got a go home but I also got a “No, Wait” so I waited until I could go and then when I got home I remembered that there was a meeting we were having for the Drama/arts team at Vineyard that my dad is organizing. Dad kept it short about me not calling and went on with talking about skits, which I was thankful for. I did say I was sorry but he didn’t ask where I went or what I did either… Mom will read this and if he doesn’t, he’ll hear it from her, though probably from her perspective… um… Grandpa came over while we were talking about these Skits and God and he put in his two cents. I hope that he got something from what he heard. Pray for him. It would be so awesome if he came to church tomorrow… It’s more likely that if he ever goes to church again, it would be on a Sunday when Dad’s doing one of the skits though. Work was fine, I got some help during the rush, which I was thankful for. Probably should have used two fryers but I didn’t want to clean both of them at the end of the night and it worked out ok. I got finished 10 minutes after the scheduled time, had to get a card from the head manager and earlier I had to pour the old grease out with him watching too. Normally a very stressful situation but what I spilled, fell on the broken down cardboard boxes that I had laid down and all was well. At home I had to talk to mom about some of the above (short version) and that’s when I got all her “hard” questions. Then I typed this up, talked to Erik, set up a plan to talk after church at food court. If plans don’t change I’ll call him with my mom’s cell after church to let him know when we can meet. I have work at 4 though so I may bring my work clothes with me. Heh. Julie had “asked” me last night / this morning if I had a curfew and how if she was at home, she needed to call to let them know where she was etc. At the time I just smiled and didn’t really reply… I look forward to all things hidden being brought to the light… some of you know what I mean and some of you try to think that I’m only referring to the Bible verse… goodnight… or if you are technical as I am… Good morning and sleep well… Ooh within 3 pages… should I do something about that? Nah… remember in the beginning, I said I would not type all that I did. Oops… just over 2 pages now… oh well as long as no one thinks I broke yet another promise.

Wednesday 6-23-05
Topic: Day to day stuff
Had fun on the computer talking to people, reading Betsy's answers to the questionnaire and telling other people about it. After work I answered the questions myself. until 4 AM

Tuesday 6-22-05
Topic: Day to day stuff
6-21-05 Tuesday
This morning Mom came in my room and talked to me some while I was still asleep and I told her yes and probably a few other things to get her to go away. Later I woke up to her phone call asking me if I was coming or not. I really had no clue what she was talking about. She wanted me to come to her work and pray with her and bring her some food ‘cause she was feeling weak. I ate some cereal, checked my email and left with the food she asked for. I started praying right out the door. I can do it inside my house but it seems easier once I step outside when I am going somewhere… I got there, Mom ate, and she talked to me about how I need to get out of this town because it has all this spiritual stronghold stuff. I said I’d rather get rid of them instead of running. She wants me to get going on the school thing and isn’t sure about my hearing from God to wait. I can handle her doubt now because I gave it up to Jesus a while ago. After that I let her read my new Chronicles of Narnia book The Last Battle… She read the first chapter…I’ve read to the third, as you know… But I want her to be able to have the whole story and I’ll get more from it by listening to it a second time. False Christ… manipulative monkey… murdered trees… confusion all around. I went to my dad’s work after that to bring him his wallet that had fallen out of the van at home… He took me to lunch; I gave him Julie’s email ‘cause he wanted to contact her about doing some songs since she may want some thing to do while at home. I then went to the pool, which is right in front of the gym where my dad works. After swimming a bit, I got my bible and continued to study John, reading and looking at the reference verses that my study bible gives me. Great stuff… not any revelations or learning anything I don’t know but interesting to see how many books cover the same subject of Jesus being Life… Giving your life to Jesus isn’t about going to heaven and living forever. It’s about knowing Jesus and having True light and life. That stuck out to me… I cried a lot while doing this so it took a while to get through only about 5 verses of John… Yes. I am a sensitive guy and have cried while reading some parts of the Bible but not this much. This time it was because I had opened my eyes in the pool. I was done drying off enough to go back into the gym and change. I ate the rest of my sub from lunch on the way home. At home I got online and still found no emails just like when I checked for them at my dad’s work after lunch… BUMBER! Then a wonderful surprise came up. An invisible woman started talking to me… ahem… I’m talking about Julie on AIM. Invisible because she was online but made it so that it didn’t show it on my buddy list… I’m going to start contacting someone I want to talk to even if it looks like they aren’t online ‘cause it’s happened twice now. We didn’t talk about much but it was good to talk to someone besides my parents today. She ordered some Pizza and had to go pick it up and I had to get ready for home group. Home group would have been boring for anyone else but it was good for us. I didn’t have any expectations this time, which helped a lot ‘cause we didn’t do much. It was a quiet time of rest and worship. Betsy needed something. I prayed she’d get it. She and Kim went into the other room for what she needed, I prayed for a while, went to the bathroom, noticed their new kitten crying, gave some attention to her while praying and waiting for the girls to be done. We find that we are mostly in the same place of hitting a barrier that keeps us from going further into the woods, deeper into the water, higher into the sky… still not getting it? We aren’t going further into His presence. We’ve been doing a lot lately… I think there is not much more to go before throne room experiences and seeing the spiritual like we see the physical… Preparation is most likely needed for this… including getting rid of those barriers. First we have to find out what they are. Thinking about what Mom said, it may be in order to take a trip together… out of this town… I do not know where we could go that the enemy doesn’t have a grip on though. In the mean time, I’ll continue to pray and try to keep aware of what is going on… I came home after small group, got online (see a pattern yet?) talked to Kim S. who seems to be in the same place, and found out from Julie’s Blog that she is going to stay there longer. I’m only a little sad about this. I think that there is going to be something that will happen with her while she is down there that she needs, so I am more happy for her than I am sad about not seeing her. I have work at 4 tomorrow… I’m going to have to talk to them about giving me more hours because two days in a week is not going to get it. Though I did enjoy having freedom to go places, most of it was just sitting at home.

Monday 6-13-05
Topic: Day to day stuff
Well for the first part of the day I did my chore, went on the computer, let my brothers get on to play games after me, prayed in my room, didn't get a clear loud voice but understood that I wasn't going to Schmidt's house so I went online after I was done with that and Kim D. invited me over for dinner. After finishing a reply to a topic on the Christianforums.com Questions by nonchristians section, I took a shower and went over to their house. Kim graciously made some delicious meatballs and spaghetti sauce for me since I don't do well with the beautiful shrimp that she had made. The bread was also very good. We didn't feel like doing much and I've wanted them to hear Davi's testimony for some time. Betsy went and played with her new toys (guitar peds) Brandon went where he needed to go, Julie's not back yet, Suzi and Jasmine went to their rooms. Kim and I sat until I suggested listening to the tape. We got several things from it and when it was done I sat for a while, reminded Kim that she had some studying to do and got up to leave... except I wasn't able to get up. I'm like... OK I guess there's more but I didn't know what. Kim began to get some things together to start studying, Brandon called and informed her that his dad just got saved, she yelled for Betsy and everyone to come out of their rooms to hear the good news and made Brandon come back over to tell about it. Earlier in the night, Kim gave me The Last Battle to keep! I started to read it while waiting for Brandon to come over... Then I continued to chapter 3 because... It was interesting! Brandon's story of his Dad wasn't much new to me except the punch line but I listened to it. Ahh. I forgot to take the trash out... I was going to do it on my way out but oh well... Jasmine didn't let me do the dishes either. I'm feeling a lot better about not "hearing" from God recently or getting what I expected from listening to Davi's testimony.

Sunday 6-19-05
Topic: Day to day stuff
No word from God but I did not exactly sit and focus on Him and wait for an anser...
I also have not been praying the whole day...
Started a Xanga because I had to in order to leave a comment on Julie's and I'll use that one for regular short messages like this one instead of the long involved detailed ones of this blog.

Sat 7:55 AM
Topic: Day to day stuff
I prayed for Julie past 4:30AM and God woke me up praying at 6:30AM Got up at 7:08 AM. I feel quite awake and refreshed. I made and ate some eggs which I haven't had in a long time... waiting for what's next. Also prayed for Brian's sister's situation... I had only 2 hours of sleep yet I am just as refreshed as I usually am, went to work, came home and played Smash Bros with Mark while waiting for the computer to be available. This morning while reading Matthew and writing notes and crying on I think 3 separate ocations, I found out from Betsy that she is in St. Pete. Now I'm thinking about renting a movie before my free movie pass expires... I think I'll call some people. All plans are subject to change if at any moment the Lord interrupts. Well no one was able to do anything... Julie was at home just like Betsy, Kim is still here in Tally but busy with prayer and other things and I couldn't call her long distance number anyway. Brad and Jake didn't answer the phone. Sarah came online and had promised her brother she'd take him to a movie. Betsy got online, Kim got online, Kim D got online, we had a huge chat in which I found out Brian's AIM, Ben's AIM, met a new friend and had a good time. I need to go to bed so my body can actually get some rest and I can digest all this food I've been eating. Betsy suggested 1/2 jokingly that I drive down to Kim S' place when I said I hadn't hung out with her to know her faces. I'm praying now and ask you to pray also that God will clearly tell me if I am to take this long trip or to try to get some more hours at work or something different... Thing is... Last night I ended up packing a bag with clothes while praying and doing my laundry and Kim said that she thinks she may need someone to pray with... Lord's will be done.

Lesson learned
Topic: Day to day stuff
Friday 6-18-05
God woke me up at around 10:30 but I stayed in bed for an hour because I thought they said they were doing the air conditioning at 2, fell back asleep, woke up at 1, got up and took a shower, left by 1:40, got to the XA house with the gate closed and no one there. If you start your day in disobedience, it is very hard to get back to the right path just like in The Silver Chair. Aslan only gave 4 signs to Jill Pole to remember and repeat constantly in order to complete her task. She allowed herself to be distracted and missed several signs at first. We cannot know what would have happened if we did things a different way. We can only trust that God will bring our foolishness to goodness in the end just as Aslan used Jill’s foolishness to still bring her and her companions through the trials to complete their task teaching them valuable lessons throughout. Sometimes the only way you can learn something is through a mistake. I did learn from today’s mistake. I waited in my car and asked God where I should go next. A song popped into my head “Where do I go, Back on my knees again” I got out of my car and went to my knees on my cushion that I carry around to use for up in my spot on the tree and occasions such as this. I waited until I was surrounded by ants and left for work. I got there just in time to change, get a foot sub combo, write down the reason I was late on Sunday and the reason I couldn’t be there on Tuesday on the form they gave me on Thursday so that they could be excused… Don’t you love all my long sentences? Here’s a short one for you… He wept. This is what I had done the night before when I watched the end of Pay It Forward. What? I already told you this? Oh, well there’s a reason I’m telling you again. I was thinking during this time about that movie, and seeing that this girl was at work today and was going on a vacation soon, I asked God if I could give her flowers that night since she was closing and would leave after I would. I worked in the kitchen in the Deli again today and got burnt quite badly because I was moving too fast and rushing myself. How’s that for revelation? I had thanked God earlier for reminding me to right down my late/absent excuse before I clocked in. When I took my break, I ate part of the second half of my sub and chips and had a free refill of my soda. I was also able to finally start reading my Bible, which I have not done in quite a while since I moved to Deli and only have a half hour break rather than an hour. This is not a good excuse but it was one of many bad excuses that I said to myself. I thanked God for being able to have a break as I had not expected to get one today. I got off work almost 45 minutes after I was supposed to because there was an order that held me up from cleaning. I went ahead and got the flowers for the girl instead of waiting on it. I hope they bless her anyway. I asked God if I should go home or go into town to try and find Kyle and April’s house even though I didn’t know exactly how to get there and had been their only once. I heard the “go home” but did not listen very well, thinking that God could lead me to their house and I might be able to still have some fun and see at least Kim and perhaps the other girls again. I did not know if they would still be doing fireworks but figured they would stay there late talking. I went into town and drove past their road, drove around several other roads in the Jim Lee area where we had gone to that church when some prophetic people were visiting it. I returned home passing their road once again. I found out that I had passed their road from my mom when she told me the road’s name. I’m doing my laundry right now in two sets (light and dark). I have work tomorrow 1-4 which I know now after looking almost franticly through my backpack, bag, wallet and then finally found the paper I wrote my schedule on in the passenger seat of my car. I was not able to talk to Kim S. tonight either because she has to wake up for work at a decent time in the morning. Perhaps if I had obeyed, I would have been able to talk to her but we cannot change the past, only learn from our mistakes and press on towards the goal for which God has called us heavenward. Kim S. Did email me to say that she was finally able to get my emails though they were delayed for some odd reason, I emailed her back asking why she was “Away” and she emailed later before she went to bed the reason I mentioned earlier. I searched around on several of the Xanga blogs connected to Betsy’s trying to remember the name of one who had a glory bubble on his hat in the birthday party group picture; only to find the name Alex on some junk email… I thanked God for this and hope that it is right. I’ve typed it so many times, I think that even if I’m wrong, I’ll still call him that… perhaps it is spelled differently… mind wandering… I’m done with the update! Yay! I had to upload it in pieces by the day because it was too long to work in only one post. What to do now… Probably go to bed… I’ll try to obey tomorrow morning. “No, no try. Do or do not. There is no try” (Yoda) after Luke tries and Yoda does, Luke says, “I don’t believe it.” Yoda: “That is why you fail.” Ever notice that Yoda loses his way of speaking when he is saying something serious and talks with subject and verb and subject at the end when he is having fun? If it was not a serious thing for Luke to believe, or if it were an amusing thing, Yoda would have said, “That is why fail, you do. Yes.” I’m going to ramble on a bit more just to show more of my fun personality… Scratch that. I have to pray for Julie and probably do some other things like my laundry.

Thursday
Topic: Day to day stuff
Thursday 6-17-05
I had work from 12-6, went right to XA, played foosball, noticed Thomas was looking better, raised my hand to help with putting in the air conditioning the next day, asked Betsy about recent flowerings, worshipped with great enthusiasm almost like I was in a fist fight, waited some more, played some good foosball against Ruben, went to Cold Stone, had a German Chocolate Cake ice cream in a waffle bowl, prayed and listened to the conversations that were not deep enough for me, left without a word, got home and typed some more of this up, Kim S. couldn’t talk much but was able to email me one of our conversations to help me start typing this that night. I talked to Kim D. and found out that… I think I know more than she thinks I know, though she still knows more than I thought she knew which is more than what I know. You may have to read that several times to get the truth out of it… It probably wouldn’t help to say it out loud several times fast but you can try just for fun. I went to bed asking God to wake me up when He wanted me to get up.