3 weeks old

The little boy is 3 weeks old now, but I feel like we've had him for much longer. I have only 1 1/2 more weeks till I go back to work, but in reality I never really took vacation. For one, I'm doing a "reading elective" so I'm supposed to be writing outlines on various medical articles, but have I had the time to read them? N-O. Plus, is this really a vacation?

He has changed so much in 3 weeks from the fragile 6 pounder to a boy with fuller cheeks and finally some meat on his bones. This, is of course, after I have become slave to the breast pump and have had anxiety about him being jaundiced, not "latching-on" smoothly, and not having enough bowel movements/urine output per 24 hour period. He eats well now, but he sure likes to cry from 12 midnight till dawn.

I'm concerned about how I will return to work sleep deprived and with looming overnight hospital calls. How do the other residents do it?

he beckons

the baby's cry can sometimes be very cute, but at night when the house is quiet, his cry can be very alarming. At night, I work fast to quell the cry. I change his diaper in the dark, warm milk and pour it in the bottle with one hand as I hold him in the other, and then I rock him pendulum style rotating through this routine for hours. When he's finally down in the crib, I probably peek at him every 10 minutes to see if he's breathing, not spitting up, etc. His well-being has consumed me!

As a new parent, I have more of an appreciation of all the new mothers I have seen as my own patients. All the times I tried to gingerly give them a "medical" answer for all their questions, I can now say things from experience! I actually feel more empowered as a family physician even though I'm presently worn-out.

why do you still have a belly?

The day my friend has her baby I too will ask her this question. Before I delivered, I naively thought I would be one of those women who would have the baby and be back to my svelte self. People kept on saying," You're all baby!" and I believed them.

Somewhere during the 3rd trimester I think I went overboard eating frozen custard and now I'm paying for it! I gained 35lbs and have lost 20 of them, but I can't fit into any pre-pregnancy pants or skirts.

Now I know yet another sacrifice women make by having children--and to think I'm planning to get pregnant again within a few years . . .