This page is temporarily unavailable for reasons that are none of your concern. Ask me what they are and I'll set the KGB to following you. That ought to scare you; Yuri is sick of drinking vodka. He wants blood. Human blood... Yuri is from Transylvania, by the way. Not Russia. He was born in a cave high in the Carpathian mountains amongst bats and wolves... but I digress.
Might I suggest that you return home?
WHAT? You refuse? Consider yourself lucky that Yuri's on lunch break. I am forced to in place of him unleash my rampage-prone Pepto Bismol Elephant. Just try to outrun it...
Ha! Yes, even if you do escape, you're still a stick figure.
Right. Off to therapy.
