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Friday, April 1, 2005
appalled. excited? bored. slightly amused
Now Playing: Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
ive decided that all my moods were too much for the stupid thing that contains the dumb useless moods.. so i put my actual moods in my title... and the song that im listening to sounds knda... well dirty lets just say it outright, but the the thing is its VERY very sad.. and i feel quite sad to tell you the truth, and i shall tell you the reasons

1. in Joan of Arcadia, Joan's bf Adam was cheating on her, and she found out...

yes so, in this episode its like, adams really like.. upset or something, but him and joan are sitll really lovey dovey, and then at one point, it shows this random guy walking thro this slut's appartment(?) and shes like "you dont have to go" and then it just shows the guy putting on his shirt (not showing his face at all) and then he sits on the couch, and then she like sits or lies on his lap (i dunno it was really strange i was just really unprepared for what happened next) then she was like "you know.. we can spend this time to... talk..." and then it shows... dundundun ADAM! i nearly died, i was like in shock... i started throwin stuff at the tv (not large objects, just lil ones, like wads of paper, or pens in my facinity) and it was so like... aahhh im heartbroken, cuz like i loved him! he was my favourite part! AAAHHH damn that stupid whore bag Bonnie... she should burn in hello jello! ok and then after, it was like mock court stuff, like law and stuff, in a courtroom, and joans best friend was questioning "jack" (as in jack in the beanstock) about why he went to the giants house or whatever, (btw, jack is adam) and then he was like "i cant do this" cuz he was all guilty, and then joans best friend followed him, and then he was lik e"I CHEATED ON JOAN!" and like.. i swear to friggen god i hate him now.. but i really love him.. AHH i dunno... im just so appalled... and at the end, whore bag came up to adam when he was with joan and was like "can i talk to you?" and he was like "im kinda busy right now" and then she was like "2 minutes, i think i deserve at LEAST that" and then joan got really confused, and she kinda figured out that he was cheating... :S and then when joan was questioning "jack" in the court presentation thingy... she was like questioning him like the questions were perfectly reasonable for the subject, but the way she asked it and her tone and everything made it obvious she figured it out... it was so saddd.. and at the end when they were both crying, and talking about the whole situatin i was crying my eyeballs out... made me feel more sick than i already am.. and then at the end God found joan, and comforted her. i swear i was crying so much that not ONLY does my throat feel raw.. my eyes feel raw too..

2. i cant find the very sad song that was playing at the end of the episode

the end song was so sad, i think i could have died.. i mean like, it was perfect for what happened, and like, it just made the impact so large that if the song had been anything but that, i dont think i would have been crying as much.. and what God said to her was the worst, i was like "OH GOD! HERE I GO! HERE COMES THE WATERFALLS!" i might not get the right words but it was like

God: "this is a part about being human..."
Joan: "maybe its not all real, maybe everything that happened was fake, and your fake and everythings fake"
God: "everything here is real, and nothing about what you felt for adam was fake, everything that ever happened between the two of you was as real as the pain you're feeling right now... but you grow from this.."
Joan: "then i never want to feel anything like this ever again"

3. i did absolutely nothing today after school except try to sooth my friggen raw throat...

yup my throat is like.. it feels like someone attacked my throat with a fork... its really disgusting, and my nose feels all grosssss eeeuugghhhh im seriously dying here.. if i die, i love all those who at least read my lil daily life things.. whatev.. im out.. i need sleep cuz im fuckin dying...

love,
* [ sally ] *
aka sickly little

Posted by empire2/firefly_blu at 10:31 PM EST
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the day in the life of sickly little
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Sum 41 - Pieces, Green Day - Whatsername, Hilary Duff - Getaway
Topic: Normal Day
how is it that they dont have all the moods u could have, such as SICK! like jebus creebus! k well, kinda non eventful day.. so ill write a bit right now.. and then ill see what else i can possibly write later..

ok, so turns out the chick i was intending on forgiving started some shit in the cafe a few days ago, and everyone hates her now! lol all i hear in the halls is how stupid, and ugly, and retarded (etc. etc. etc.) she is, its QUITE funny... i hear she got slapped, and maybe she didnt need to be slapped, but someone has to put this girl straight, cuz from what ive heard from the other side of the fight, is that the other girl was like "oh yeah, i dont want u in my life anymore" and she was really calm and kinda sick of all of this craptacular shit, but then like the girl (the one who WAS my friend) 's friends started bitching and stuff.. really horrible, like come on ppllll.. its a prob between THE 2 GIRLS, NOT YOU! ok, now im getting involved, forget that, lol

ok so today in gym we did all this stuff on alkyhall... (lol i like it spelt like that), and maridjuwanna.. (marijuanna.. i just call it like "marrid, jo wanna") and we have like 3 sheet of that hmwk.. which SUUCCKKKKSSSS...
in english we did a DANCE! a SHAKESPEARIAN dance! how QUEER can u get, lmao and frankie was all like "yeah ill lead" but like alex was like "why are YOU leading?! u cant even count!" and then it turned out that like, alex lead anyways, kinda funny... it took up a whole period to get done well, and then we got hmwk anyways, yet again, QUUEEEERRRRRR

in business we had a test on something and i didnt even study *teehee* and i hav a feeling i got good on it... and then we had time to work on our project/assignments, and im fully done! woot woot!

in science we had our unit test, and its really weird, cuz when i was writing it i was like "wait.. why are the multiple choice all C's... WHAT?! arg" and then when i was doing the rest i was like "BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!" i just knew ALL the answers! i was so proud of myself, and when i was done i checked to see if ju was done, and i looked over to her, AND SHE WAS READING HER BOOK! lmao like wow that child was fast! but alas, shes the freak who gets 96% in science, and shes also the queen of the nerds... ahh ju, how we love you.. i dont think anything really interesting happened today :( that makes me sad, i have nothing to make me happy,
EXCEPT,
that
its MY SISTER; DEANNA THE BANANA'S BIRTHDAY!!! YES! SHES A FOOL! ahahahahahahaha but i love her, shes great... i think shes getting a tattoo right now.. her tattoos gunna be the most friggen awesome thing EVER! she showed me the stuff she wants, and i also think shes getting more cartilage peircings... shes getting all this cuz shes friggen 18.. and she doesnt need parental permission.. lucky bitch.. NO WAIT! I CAN GET MY CARTILAGE IF SHES WITH ME!! WOOT!

ok i think thats all ill write later... farewell for now dear loved ones

Posted by empire2/firefly_blu at 4:35 PM EST
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Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Sum 41 - Some Say
ok, so this is gunna be a really really short entry, and im basically just gunna tell you my dilemma, ok, so lately ive been kinda.. in a "fight" with someone who i thought was my best friend, and if shes reading this then i need her to have patience with me, and to read carefully and not to take offense, but i really need to get this out, cuz ive talked to my 2 best friends about it, and theres different opinions on what i should do, but i need to find someting that makes sense to me

ok, so i guess ill start off with what happened to get me angry... so this girl was like, really nice, and i really cared about her cuz we were best friends, and i thought she actually cared about me, but around christmas time it kinda got weird, like she stopped wanting to do stuff with me, and then she was kinda excluding me, and it seemed like everytime i wanted to talk to her about something happening in my life, it was like she turned it around and made it about herself, and i guess i got sick of it, and she would also dwell on the past, and it made me agrivated cuz i wanted to move on to the future, and i guess it was like it was slowing me down.. so i stopped talking to her and it was like, then she was mad at me or something, and i couldnt handle it

so after a while i tried to make things alright between us, and i wanted to talk to her normally about my issue, but that backfired, because then she claimed that III was the one annoying her, and II was the one who was causing problems, but like, to me it made no sense! what had i done? i kept asking for a list, but it was like, everytime i asked for a list, she would say something like "i dont want to hurt ur feelings" i eventually said "yes, cuz u cud hurt me more than u have in the past 2 months" and then she claimed that i was the one who hurt her or something, and YET AGAIN, i was frustrated, and then it was like she avoided every question i asked her about my "problems" so i finally grew so sick of her that i blocked her, and i am not quite sure but i think i deleted her, because if i couldnt go through one conversation with her without going off the wall, then what was the point in seeing her online if i wasnt gunna talk to her?

and i was pretty good for a good while, cuz i have really good new friends, and they're amazing and i love them, but everytime i would see this girl in the halls i would think about how much it sucked thati couldnt even look at her without feeling guilty or angry.. and the thing was, when i was still friends with this girl, it was like everything i did involved her, and i would never do anything else, cuz i really didnt have any other good friends, and now i do! i DO have good friends that i can stuff with.

well recently i got a kinda email from her, telling me that it would be great if we could talk, and how she wants to be friends and stuff, and when i first got it, i was shocked, like i sat there like :O wow... and now that i think about it, i kinda wanna be friends with her too, but the thing is, this whole email thing is kinda immature, cuz if she wants to be friends with me, and if she wants it enough, she'll come and talk to me in person about it, but if she cant do that, then i can understand, she didnt want our friendship good enough, and i can live with that, cuz altho it would be great to have her as my friend again, i dont want it to be like it was before, i dont want it to be like, i only spend time with her, and thats what im afraid of, cuz YES i have good friends, and i wanna spend time with both groups of friends, but not just one...

so heres my dilemma, i wanna forgive her, but i dont want her to take over my life, i want her to be able to listen to me speak about my good times and my bad times, as much as i listen to her good times and bad times, i want us to be able to speak to each other honestly, and when something pisses us off about each other, we talk about it openly, and not keep it locked up, like we did before, i want us to be friends, but i dont want it to go back to how it was before, because that will never happen, somethings happened with me, and i want us both to recognize it, and to accept it... if shes reading this and shes willing to have this friendship back enough, then i hope she'll try to talk to me, but not on msn, or on email, because lets face it, anyone can write a letter, if u can approach me in the halls, then i will talk to you without losing my temper, i wont make a scene, i wont do anything unless u totally provoke me (which i hope is not something u try to do lol) but you need to understand that it wont totally be what stacie wants, it will be what u want too, if its just for stacie, then we'll try to make it so we dont hate each other, but i wont garauntee that we'll be friends

* [ sally ] *

ps. this is edited from April 14th, cuz i finally felt the need to say something, but here it is, personally i laugh when i see "i didnt wanna make a scene at school" what? r u planning 2 bitch at me? sorry no, and another thing, apparently u didnt miss me when u started DITCHING me, oh what? 3 MONTHS AGO?! sorry but i cant let that go, u just started hating me or something, i dont BELIEVE i did anything to, i started to not talk to YOU because the whole thing about you not moving on and clinging to every memory of last year was driving me insane, and then u tell ME that im the one that annoys YOU!? im sorry what?

oh and one last thing, dont even try to make it up wif me and then write something like "it be nice to hear from u again, unless ur new friends took up the whole list of buds. " cuz that implies that u think that im way better than you, and it shows how u dont like my NEW friends... but guess what, at least i have new friends, and they like me, and they actually CARE about me, unlike you,

yet again, if u TRUELY wanted to make things right, u would at least try to talk to me at school, but i dont think ur gunna do that, and thats cool cuz u dont care, ill just go about with my daily life. without YOU.

Posted by empire2/firefly_blu at 6:13 PM EST
Updated: Thursday, April 14, 2005 6:33 PM EDT
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Saturday, March 26, 2005
interesting night...
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: 3 Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You, Linkin Park - In The End, The Black Maria - Betrayal, N*E*R*D - Rockstar
ok, im not in like an angry mood, the only reason im listening to 3 days grace is cuz its one much dedications in the backround... so ill most likely be adding all the songs ive listened to during the time i write this! woohooo! ok an AGAIN they dont have my mood, i wanted TIRED, but noooooo apparently being tired doesnt exist! argggggg

so last night was interesting, when i got 2 megans her mom and lil brother answered the door, after i got in her bro was like "HI LITTLE!" and then ran away.. i was quite confused but hey, at least he called me something that makes sense.. ummmm i got downstairs and shawna was already there... and then julia came shortly after, and then we watched CELEBRITY JEPEORDY! ahahaha "ask yourself a question and answer your question, theres is no way u can get this wrong... Catherine Zeta Jones.. what did u write 'What sound does a doggy make?' good question.. your answer was.. '???' HOW COULD U GET THAT WRONG?!" and half way into the lil video, rory and greg came (i actually hav never met either one before, so meh)
so for the first like... 20 mins it was quite awkward, and i have a feeling that it was cuz of me, cuz i was like the only one who no one really knew, well cept megan and ju, but meh, we started to play pictionary, and it was 2 groups of 3, and it was me, Megan, and Shawna in one group, and then Rory, ju and greg in the other group, and we were losing by SOOO much, like they were 2 squars from the end when we were 4 squares into the game, but then we started winning! it was sooooo queer! we got ALL the way to the end and BEAT THEM!!! how AWESOME COULD THAT BE?!?!?!?!? i swear we were like in shock! ju was like "i cannot believe thisss...." and she started pacing the room,and shawna came up to her and was like "WE BEAT YOUUUU!!!" and all that, and i swear, i thought julia was gunna throttle her.. but they eventually calmed down..

then we played twister... for what reason i will never know, i couldnt do it for very long, i am NOT flexible.. and greg cant spin for anything, he kept getting the EXACT same things that they were already on, like "right hand yellow" rory was like "we jsut discussed this, WE ARE ALREADY ON IT!!"

then we did karaoke... it wasnt very interesting.. well sometimes it was, i realize, i cannot sing for my life, i really suck, its fantastic, but greg cant sing either, so meh.. and hey this was kinda cool, it turns out greg goes to my sis' school, and he actually knows her cuz hes on student council STRANGE COINCIDENCE!

ok im done, i have gone through 3 commercials and 3 songs, and i am currently enjoying the last one, ill try to inform u of my most likely NON EVENTFUL day...

au revoir
* [ sally ] *

Posted by empire2/firefly_blu at 11:16 AM EST
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Friday, March 25, 2005
what an uneventful day
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: The Arcade Fire - Rebellion
wow, yet again, they dont have the most perfect mood that i feel i am stuck in right now.. BORED! you'd think that they'd have that one fore SURE! its absolutely outstanding! incredible even! lordy... ridiculous, ok enough about the stupid mood, lets hear about the stupid day ive had so far

ok, so this morning i woke up and was like "WOOOHOO!!! GOOD FRIDAY = SLEEP IN!!!" then i look at my clock and its only 9! JEEBUS CREEBUS! i mean, only 9?! what is going on! so i was liek "ew.. my rooms a mess..." so i got up and started cleaning! CLEANING! WHATS GOING ON! I THINK IM GOING NUTZ!! so then after that i was like "IM TAKING A SHOWER!!!" and i took my shower, but i was so like fidgetie.. i couldnt like.. get comfortable in my own house... how strange... so then i was sorting through most of the clothing in my closet, and i swear its so funny, i have like 6 blouses, 18 skirts, 30 sweaters, 15 pairs of jeans (like 8 of which i never wear) 5 dresses, and then my uniform.. how odd... and i ended up throwing away 3 of my blouses, 9 skirts, 0 sweaters, 2 pairs of pants, 0 dresses (y i will never know.. oh no wait, its cuz i hav to go a wedding in september and "u never kno what the weathers gunna be like...") i have yet to go through my summer clothing, my pjs, my long sleeve t-shirt and my socks... lol i dont think im gunna throw away ANY of my socks.. my socks are my passion... (why i will never know)

uhh lets see.. then i went downstairs and burned a copy of my sis's Death From Above 1979 CD, and thennn.... uhhh i watched like the bloopers from the incredibles.. then i went up stairs.. and did nothing.. i think i sat in my Great Room, for like an hour just staring at my ceiling.. and uno what i realized? the ceiling comes up to look like the inside of a book.. how awesome is that?! and then i was like "wow, whats on tv?" and the ONLY thing on that was REMOTELY interesting was Passions... WOW im on the fone with megan and she thinks that Allistar is Beth(crazy freak who kidnapped Sharidon's baby and claimed it was hers)'s father... eegads, how twisted?

ok so i was actually gone for a while after i wrote that, i went downstairs to watch GILMORE GIRLS!! and right now i am currently getting ready bcuz im goin to MEGANS right now, apparently ju's gunna be there 2, and i havent gotten confirmation for whethr stephz gunna come too, and megan was tryin to see if shawna was comin too... but i havent heard from any of them so meh... ill be there around 7ish.. and apparently evan wants me to call him when i get there (hes a strange lil boy, but thats ok, i like strange,) so i just wrote "call Evan" on my right hand, since my left hand is all taken... lol the E looks like a backwards 3, and the a looks like an o, so it look like "call 3von" hahahaha, the reason y my right hand is taken is cuz it says "Megan *40* 7ish" which means Megans house, number 40 on her street, at about 7... i make so much sense... and then underneith i did this cool L thing where its like a purple L, and then theres all this pink vines all around it.. its awesome :)

wow its 6:25... i should prolly figure out what shoes im gunna wear... i have like 3 pairs, its not gunna be a big chore... i think i'll either wear my pink dada shoes (otherwise known as my Princess Moon Boots)(<- thats because they're all shiny, and then there's crowns.. and i was known as "the princess"), ooorrr i wear my white K-Swiss... with the black tongue and pink outlines... meh ill see whatever i throw on.. oh crap, if i need to remember 2 CALL evan, i need his number... where is it.. i wrote it down somewhere... hold on ill just be putting that in the cell right now...

alright so im offf!!! farewell for now
* [ sally ] *

Posted by empire2/firefly_blu at 6:44 PM EST
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