Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Sum 41 - Some Say
ok, so this is gunna be a really really short entry, and im basically just gunna tell you my dilemma, ok, so lately ive been kinda.. in a "fight" with someone who i thought was my best friend, and if shes reading this then i need her to have patience with me, and to read carefully and not to take offense, but i really need to get this out, cuz ive talked to my 2 best friends about it, and theres different opinions on what i should do, but i need to find someting that makes sense to me

ok, so i guess ill start off with what happened to get me angry... so this girl was like, really nice, and i really cared about her cuz we were best friends, and i thought she actually cared about me, but around christmas time it kinda got weird, like she stopped wanting to do stuff with me, and then she was kinda excluding me, and it seemed like everytime i wanted to talk to her about something happening in my life, it was like she turned it around and made it about herself, and i guess i got sick of it, and she would also dwell on the past, and it made me agrivated cuz i wanted to move on to the future, and i guess it was like it was slowing me down.. so i stopped talking to her and it was like, then she was mad at me or something, and i couldnt handle it

so after a while i tried to make things alright between us, and i wanted to talk to her normally about my issue, but that backfired, because then she claimed that III was the one annoying her, and II was the one who was causing problems, but like, to me it made no sense! what had i done? i kept asking for a list, but it was like, everytime i asked for a list, she would say something like "i dont want to hurt ur feelings" i eventually said "yes, cuz u cud hurt me more than u have in the past 2 months" and then she claimed that i was the one who hurt her or something, and YET AGAIN, i was frustrated, and then it was like she avoided every question i asked her about my "problems" so i finally grew so sick of her that i blocked her, and i am not quite sure but i think i deleted her, because if i couldnt go through one conversation with her without going off the wall, then what was the point in seeing her online if i wasnt gunna talk to her?

and i was pretty good for a good while, cuz i have really good new friends, and they're amazing and i love them, but everytime i would see this girl in the halls i would think about how much it sucked thati couldnt even look at her without feeling guilty or angry.. and the thing was, when i was still friends with this girl, it was like everything i did involved her, and i would never do anything else, cuz i really didnt have any other good friends, and now i do! i DO have good friends that i can stuff with.

well recently i got a kinda email from her, telling me that it would be great if we could talk, and how she wants to be friends and stuff, and when i first got it, i was shocked, like i sat there like :O wow... and now that i think about it, i kinda wanna be friends with her too, but the thing is, this whole email thing is kinda immature, cuz if she wants to be friends with me, and if she wants it enough, she'll come and talk to me in person about it, but if she cant do that, then i can understand, she didnt want our friendship good enough, and i can live with that, cuz altho it would be great to have her as my friend again, i dont want it to be like it was before, i dont want it to be like, i only spend time with her, and thats what im afraid of, cuz YES i have good friends, and i wanna spend time with both groups of friends, but not just one...

so heres my dilemma, i wanna forgive her, but i dont want her to take over my life, i want her to be able to listen to me speak about my good times and my bad times, as much as i listen to her good times and bad times, i want us to be able to speak to each other honestly, and when something pisses us off about each other, we talk about it openly, and not keep it locked up, like we did before, i want us to be friends, but i dont want it to go back to how it was before, because that will never happen, somethings happened with me, and i want us both to recognize it, and to accept it... if shes reading this and shes willing to have this friendship back enough, then i hope she'll try to talk to me, but not on msn, or on email, because lets face it, anyone can write a letter, if u can approach me in the halls, then i will talk to you without losing my temper, i wont make a scene, i wont do anything unless u totally provoke me (which i hope is not something u try to do lol) but you need to understand that it wont totally be what stacie wants, it will be what u want too, if its just for stacie, then we'll try to make it so we dont hate each other, but i wont garauntee that we'll be friends

* [ sally ] *

ps. this is edited from April 14th, cuz i finally felt the need to say something, but here it is, personally i laugh when i see "i didnt wanna make a scene at school" what? r u planning 2 bitch at me? sorry no, and another thing, apparently u didnt miss me when u started DITCHING me, oh what? 3 MONTHS AGO?! sorry but i cant let that go, u just started hating me or something, i dont BELIEVE i did anything to, i started to not talk to YOU because the whole thing about you not moving on and clinging to every memory of last year was driving me insane, and then u tell ME that im the one that annoys YOU!? im sorry what?

oh and one last thing, dont even try to make it up wif me and then write something like "it be nice to hear from u again, unless ur new friends took up the whole list of buds. " cuz that implies that u think that im way better than you, and it shows how u dont like my NEW friends... but guess what, at least i have new friends, and they like me, and they actually CARE about me, unlike you,

yet again, if u TRUELY wanted to make things right, u would at least try to talk to me at school, but i dont think ur gunna do that, and thats cool cuz u dont care, ill just go about with my daily life. without YOU.

interesting night...
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: 3 Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You, Linkin Park - In The End, The Black Maria - Betrayal, N*E*R*D - Rockstar
ok, im not in like an angry mood, the only reason im listening to 3 days grace is cuz its one much dedications in the backround... so ill most likely be adding all the songs ive listened to during the time i write this! woohooo! ok an AGAIN they dont have my mood, i wanted TIRED, but noooooo apparently being tired doesnt exist! argggggg

so last night was interesting, when i got 2 megans her mom and lil brother answered the door, after i got in her bro was like "HI LITTLE!" and then ran away.. i was quite confused but hey, at least he called me something that makes sense.. ummmm i got downstairs and shawna was already there... and then julia came shortly after, and then we watched CELEBRITY JEPEORDY! ahahaha "ask yourself a question and answer your question, theres is no way u can get this wrong... Catherine Zeta Jones.. what did u write 'What sound does a doggy make?' good question.. your answer was.. '???' HOW COULD U GET THAT WRONG?!" and half way into the lil video, rory and greg came (i actually hav never met either one before, so meh)
so for the first like... 20 mins it was quite awkward, and i have a feeling that it was cuz of me, cuz i was like the only one who no one really knew, well cept megan and ju, but meh, we started to play pictionary, and it was 2 groups of 3, and it was me, Megan, and Shawna in one group, and then Rory, ju and greg in the other group, and we were losing by SOOO much, like they were 2 squars from the end when we were 4 squares into the game, but then we started winning! it was sooooo queer! we got ALL the way to the end and BEAT THEM!!! how AWESOME COULD THAT BE?!?!?!?!? i swear we were like in shock! ju was like "i cannot believe thisss...." and she started pacing the room,and shawna came up to her and was like "WE BEAT YOUUUU!!!" and all that, and i swear, i thought julia was gunna throttle her.. but they eventually calmed down..

then we played twister... for what reason i will never know, i couldnt do it for very long, i am NOT flexible.. and greg cant spin for anything, he kept getting the EXACT same things that they were already on, like "right hand yellow" rory was like "we jsut discussed this, WE ARE ALREADY ON IT!!"

then we did karaoke... it wasnt very interesting.. well sometimes it was, i realize, i cannot sing for my life, i really suck, its fantastic, but greg cant sing either, so meh.. and hey this was kinda cool, it turns out greg goes to my sis' school, and he actually knows her cuz hes on student council STRANGE COINCIDENCE!

ok im done, i have gone through 3 commercials and 3 songs, and i am currently enjoying the last one, ill try to inform u of my most likely NON EVENTFUL day...

au revoir
* [ sally ] *

what an uneventful day
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: The Arcade Fire - Rebellion
wow, yet again, they dont have the most perfect mood that i feel i am stuck in right now.. BORED! you'd think that they'd have that one fore SURE! its absolutely outstanding! incredible even! lordy... ridiculous, ok enough about the stupid mood, lets hear about the stupid day ive had so far

ok, so this morning i woke up and was like "WOOOHOO!!! GOOD FRIDAY = SLEEP IN!!!" then i look at my clock and its only 9! JEEBUS CREEBUS! i mean, only 9?! what is going on! so i was liek "ew.. my rooms a mess..." so i got up and started cleaning! CLEANING! WHATS GOING ON! I THINK IM GOING NUTZ!! so then after that i was like "IM TAKING A SHOWER!!!" and i took my shower, but i was so like fidgetie.. i couldnt like.. get comfortable in my own house... how strange... so then i was sorting through most of the clothing in my closet, and i swear its so funny, i have like 6 blouses, 18 skirts, 30 sweaters, 15 pairs of jeans (like 8 of which i never wear) 5 dresses, and then my uniform.. how odd... and i ended up throwing away 3 of my blouses, 9 skirts, 0 sweaters, 2 pairs of pants, 0 dresses (y i will never know.. oh no wait, its cuz i hav to go a wedding in september and "u never kno what the weathers gunna be like...") i have yet to go through my summer clothing, my pjs, my long sleeve t-shirt and my socks... lol i dont think im gunna throw away ANY of my socks.. my socks are my passion... (why i will never know)

uhh lets see.. then i went downstairs and burned a copy of my sis's Death From Above 1979 CD, and thennn.... uhhh i watched like the bloopers from the incredibles.. then i went up stairs.. and did nothing.. i think i sat in my Great Room, for like an hour just staring at my ceiling.. and uno what i realized? the ceiling comes up to look like the inside of a book.. how awesome is that?! and then i was like "wow, whats on tv?" and the ONLY thing on that was REMOTELY interesting was Passions... WOW im on the fone with megan and she thinks that Allistar is Beth(crazy freak who kidnapped Sharidon's baby and claimed it was hers)'s father... eegads, how twisted?

ok so i was actually gone for a while after i wrote that, i went downstairs to watch GILMORE GIRLS!! and right now i am currently getting ready bcuz im goin to MEGANS right now, apparently ju's gunna be there 2, and i havent gotten confirmation for whethr stephz gunna come too, and megan was tryin to see if shawna was comin too... but i havent heard from any of them so meh... ill be there around 7ish.. and apparently evan wants me to call him when i get there (hes a strange lil boy, but thats ok, i like strange,) so i just wrote "call Evan" on my right hand, since my left hand is all taken... lol the E looks like a backwards 3, and the a looks like an o, so it look like "call 3von" hahahaha, the reason y my right hand is taken is cuz it says "Megan *40* 7ish" which means Megans house, number 40 on her street, at about 7... i make so much sense... and then underneith i did this cool L thing where its like a purple L, and then theres all this pink vines all around it.. its awesome :)

wow its 6:25... i should prolly figure out what shoes im gunna wear... i have like 3 pairs, its not gunna be a big chore... i think i'll either wear my pink dada shoes (otherwise known as my Princess Moon Boots)(<- thats because they're all shiny, and then there's crowns.. and i was known as "the princess"), ooorrr i wear my white K-Swiss... with the black tongue and pink outlines... meh ill see whatever i throw on.. oh crap, if i need to remember 2 CALL evan, i need his number... where is it.. i wrote it down somewhere... hold on ill just be putting that in the cell right now...

alright so im offf!!! farewell for now
* [ sally ] *

Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Amanda Perez - Angel
yes, im listening to a very depressing song, mainly because... MARCH BREAK IS OOVVVEERRRR *cries in a corner* its not fair, i went away for a week, that shouldnt count! i love not doing anything! it makes me feel relaxed, and besides, when i go away i like, DONT gain weight, and when we went to b.c. my dad bought all this junk it was hideous!

ok yes my break, i will tell u about my break, so we flew out to calgary on friday when MEGAN JU AND STEPH were in CLASS hahaha, and i was soooooooo tired, we had to THEN drive from calgary to Kimberley... the lil town i was gunna be stayin at for my time skiing. when we drove there we were coming closer to the rockies, and i was like "hey how close are we gunna get?" and my sis just started pissing herself, and uno why? because the whole POINT of this trip was to go SKIING. IN. THE ROCKIES. im a dumbass :) it took forever to get there, we almost hit a deer on the way... it was friggen scary, cuz it was like PITCH black and then there was a deer! all u heard was me gasping, my dad was like "can u breath now so the rest of us can have some air?" rather ridiculous, so the first day skiing my mom gave up after one run down the mountain, shes a wimp. me my sis and my dad went down on the other side of the mountain, and it turns out, theres no FUN way of getting down, it was honestly, THE DEATH TRAP! it was soooo steep, i was like crying, honestly, and there was NO ONE ELSE THERE, except this one old man, and he ended up falling down the mountain it was kinda scary... the next day we went to Fernie, which was like, an hour away, and it was soooooooo amazing, they actually had snow, and the runs were SOOO much fun, i love fernie... the next day we went back to fernie, only i was wayyyy tired, like, i fell soooo many times it was ridiculous, i fell down once and there were these 3 guys behind me, and they saw me fall, and i mean FALL, like i literally lost one of my skis and my pole, and i was COVERED in snow, and they were so nice, the one guy was friggen hot, he helped me get my ski on :$ teehee... but then i got realy tired, it was enough, i kept falling and falling, i thought i was just gunna lie on the snow.. doing nothing.. so tiring honestly... but then guess what? on like our last day out there, IT SNOWS! it sucked thatit was on the last day, but it was fuckin amazing, it was like pure powder, and it was so much fun to ski in, my dad was like wooting after me cuz he said that i "improved so much" it was fun to ski in snow that was deep enough to get u stuck in it! :D i would just be skiing, and then id be in a big pile of snow, and just fall, like not even a spectacular fall, just plop down, lol it was great
the ride back was boring, it was foggy and u couldnt see past the fields on either side of you.. kinda sad really :(

ok so today was the first day back after march break... i was kinda happy to go back tho.. strangely enough! i think it was cuz im always insane when i dont have someone to talk to.. (whether its like stacie, meg, ju, steph, sam or like.. courtney and evan or someone) kinda sad really, so yeah it was so great to see ppl, and nice to kno ppl actually missed me :) i feel so loved :) ok so gym was fun, we played volleyball, and it was so funny, my team was the BEAST TEAM, and it was so funny cuz the players were like 3 in the front 3 in the back right? but heres how it was set up
Steph Meranda Melissa DiMartino Julia DiCarli
Steph Little(me) Melyssa McPherson Julia Macri
funny eh?

then in english we did like NOTHING, we read romeo and juliet.. lets spell boring together.. bee oh are eye en gee... ok and then at lunch i couldnt get my fuckin stuff in my locker, it was kinda sad, and then we had to find ju! cuz we accidentally left her :( im sowwie ju! and i started screaming "JULIA JULIA! WHERE FOR ART THOU JULIA!?" kinda weird, and then me and ju lost megan, and then we found her, and then we were in science, where i was TOTALLY lost! i was like "OK WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! we were doing like... atomic mass or something shitty like that.. soooo confoosing :S but i finally got it, thanks to ju's amazing teaching skills, honestly that girl should be a teacher, like ms ho... lol no not like ms ho.. she speaks of her students dying.. and her students killing each other (example: matt killing meg)

finally, in business i was gunna kill myself, honestly who needs a subject like that? NO ONE! CUZ ITS POINTLESS!!

ok and this whole day has been hell for me! first, i woke up and i felt like i had a hang over, my head was spinning and i was sooo dizzy, i wouldnt get up for 20 mins.. it was sooo bad, i couldnt focus on anything, and then in school, i felt like my head was being sucked into a vaccum! like HOW GREAT IS THAT?! LETS ALL GET OUR HEADS SUCKED INTO A VACCUM! and my tummy aches... its rather strange arg, and now my whole body aches for some reason.. :(

plus the guy that i thought i currently *liked* might have possibly liked me, and maybe he does.. but i dunno its quite strange.. i think he mite hav a gf ^o) is it possible that i did not know this? YES IT IS BECAUSE I AM SO UTTERLY TUNNEL VISIONED I DONT LIKE TO LOOK AT THINGS AROUND ME! actually yes i do, am i on crack or something? i see both sides of every story, always, even if its like my best friend vs my worst enemy! its cuz i like to keep the peace.. like Prince in Romeo and Juliet... lol wait even tAHTS a lie, i love to hate people! i hate the bitch who was sposd 2 b my best friend, and the ass who i used to like! woohooo!!!

lol ok im super tired, i need to dry my hair, and i need ot rest my body... i have death gym class tomorrow... cardio week :S eegads

farewell until our next meeting deer friends...
_*sally::

Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Sum 41 - Slipping Away / Pieces
ok, so, i dont think im gunna write much cuz its like 11:03 and i wanna go to bed FAIRLY soon.. but ill just give u the general update, so on friday i went to Ju's house, where MEGAN THE HOCKEYSTAR was there, and STEPH THE RAMBLER followed soon after... let me tell you, it was quite hilarious... it involved the tv being put to an incredible volume.. some games of I Never... and some drinks of some sort... it was GREAT!

in gym we're starting on volleyball, and i kinda suck, so its QUITE funny, today was absolutely hectic tho, like we playing kings court, and we were screaming all the time and not knowin where we were going, it was HILARIOUS, at one point it was like Steph, Alex, and i think Julia kicking the volleyballs from one end of the court to all the other girls at the other end, and it was HILARIOUS cuz like one of the balls got LAUNCHED into my leg, i was like "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH ANNIALATION!!!!!" and like ppl got hit in the heads, and like oh lord, we all got anialated...

ok we have 2 tests tomorrow, and im EXTREMELY confused, the english one is on something like our short stories.. which is strange cuz i dunno what we're supposed to kno? liikeee... theme? characterism? point of view? setting? this is what im guessing, i hope thats what we need to kno, cuz then i might be able to pass...:s

and then we have a science test, and i haveNO idea what thats on, i hope its mostly that stuff on how many atoms are in this chemical equation, cuz i can do THAT stuff, i just dunno what an ore is and all that great stuff :) ok im gunna go study, since im OBVIOUSLY gunna die :)

farewell...
*[ Sally ] *