Memories chase me,
haunting my pleasant dreams.
Slashing through them,
ripping them from me.
I try to hide, try to run away
wishing to make these things disappear.
How I wish that they were unreal,
just figments of my vivid imagination.
But they are real.
I close my eyes, trying to shut it all out,
to make it all disappear,
as images flood my sight.
But they don’t disappear.
I see you lying there on the couch,
so silently, so innocently,
in an endless slumber of eternal dreaming.
I reach my hand out to you, fear clutching my chest
as my fingers graze your skin.
Ice cold to the touch, I fall to my knees,
clingy desperately to your frozen body.
The world falls away
as the numbness consumes me,
chilling me from the inside out.
Slowly I lift my head, anguish crushing my heart
as I gaze at the empty couch where you should be.
Screams rip from my mouth as I finally open my eyes
and curl into a ball on your empty couch.
My body shakes, my voice quakes
as my sobs tear though me.
The only thing that’s disappeared is you,
but the memories still remain,
still haunt me, still chase me,
haunting my pleasant dreams.
*written November 9th, 2003*
