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Wednesday, 28 January 2004
go insane, hijack a plane (or "snow what")
Now Playing: Nettle - Firecamp Stories Remixes [theAgriculture]

i'll admit, i feel better now than i did earlier today. several thousand degrees cooler in my brain. no longer a need to leave a trail of bloody carcasses in the snow. but when you're trudging through eight or nine inches of it the night before, your boots completely covered with each step you take, the last place you want to go in the morning is to work. travel went smoother than expected (NYC fared surprisingly well despite the circumstances), but it was still a nuisance. i'm not exactly sure who you have to pay off in the Department of Public Works in the city of Mount Vernon in order to have clean streets, but somebody needs to do them a solid. streets were horrendous, whether walking or driving. i'm working on two hours sleep anyway due to being up the night before long after i was supposed to be asleep, then overslept and missed breakfast (which is guaranteed to make me good and evil all day).

i don't know if i need to tell you this, but customer service is not the best department to work in if you don't even like answering the phones at home. if you don't already hate people, you will more than likely acquire such a hatred about three months into the gig. it's a good thing i don't have morphing powers...otherwise i would have jumped through the phone lines and strangled several teachers and librarians with their own phone cord. it's amazing the things you find you have to do when no other opportunities come around, when it's been six and a half months and you're still looking for steady work, when certain political figures keep telling you that things are getting better in the job market and some companies are still outsourcing work to other countries.

so just exactly how does someone who says he loves God (whom he has not seen) hate people so much (whom he has to deal with everyday)? i plead insanity...as brought on by a four-month bid in customer service. abrasive music helps, though. when in doubt, try Donna Summer. no, not the disco diva, this guy. that and every wednesday breakfast is brought into the office. so two cinnamon donuts and a glass of orange juice was enough to keep me at bay today.

("i don't want people's excuses, i want their money." this was apparently a direct quote from someone at work today. keep in mind that i work for an educational book publisher. who says the smaller companies can't play hardball?)

a melody from a song's been stuck in my head all day: "Prototype" from Andre 3000's The Love Below. i had that song in the mix at Big Sur (upper East Side bar/restaurant/lounge/gallery) when the manager walked in from the storm. "pick up the tempo - this is WAY too slow." there were a total of six people in the place who couldn't have cared what i played, but you don't argue with management. i oblige. he's pleased. i'm happy. and my man enrique comes back to hold down the fort and i take off. that was around 11pm. then the schlep home starts and...well...boots covered in snow...you know the rest...

but now i'm back home with my loving wife and neurotic cat. which is where i wanted to be in the first place. why leave home when you know others bring drama? "paging Dr. Ama, Dr. Ama, you have a urgent matter outside an unsuspecting soul's front door..." Dr. Ama makes house calls regularly at the job.

i was just thinking today...is there such a thing as an edgy Christian? is there ever supposed to be? (you do realize that i'm posing a rhetorical question to myself, right?) if the FOX Network ever decides to do a special called When Christians Attack, expect to see my face flash across the screen at least once. it's said in the Bible that the clay has no business asking the potter "why did you make me this way?" and that the potter can do what they wish with the clay. that's how i know that there's a God and that He has an immeasurable amount of grace and mercy...

cause i'm one stubborn ass ball of clay.

Posted by macedonia at 11:36 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 16 July 2004 10:06 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 27 January 2004
and so it begins...
Now Playing: DJ Small Change - Nickel & Dime Radio (WFMU)

There is way too much music on this earth. I know it?s not an original sentiment, but with every passing week I?m amazed at all the past, present, and future sounds that I have yet to learn about. Perhaps I?m just easy to amaze, but I?ll say it again: there is WAY too much music on this earth. And good music, too. Sure, we could complain about the glut of artificial sonic sweeteners clogging up the airwaves at any given moment, but why waste each other?s time? That?s precious seconds, minutes, and hours that could be spent fawning over our personal soundtracks for the day. Good music makes me excited. Really, REALLY excited. And good hip-hop damn near restores my faith in humanity, but that?s another post for another time. Hell, I just got here?give it time. Baby steps, my friend, baby steps. Allow me to crawl first. Walking will follow, I promise.

Rewind to Friday night: downstairs level of a bar called 2i?s, West Village, NYC. Spinning some soul and funk 45s at an opening night party of a friend?s play. Outside of the play itself (entitled BANJEE, which is on some other ish entirely), it was the definite highlight of the weekend. Few moments compare to the smile of recognition or an expression of someone being taken back in time with a song they haven?t heard in years. I figure if you have 40- and 50-year old cats raising their hands in the air, making noise as you drop more grooves in the mix, then you have to be doing something right. A couple gettin? their swerve on in the corner, two heads spark a battle in the middle of the corner, bustin? moves they haven?t broke out in a while cause they?re feelin? it like they did when they were 18?that?s love. That?s respect. Clearly I was born in the wrong decade.

I?m 30 and restless. Hair thinning up front, as if it?s burnt off of my scalp because my brain is constantly on overload. Gray hair shows up often and has been since early twenties. My spirit belongs to Jesus Christ, but my flesh chooses not to acknowledge said allegiance. The internal fighting seems never-ending. This world will make you scream, throw things, cry out to the heavens, set things on fire, instigate a road rage incident, choke your basketball coach, hold your high school hostage, rob banks, or just tell the person nearest you without warning to shut the hell up for five minutes. We?re all capable of a dark moment. All of us. Don?t let anybody tell you different. There must be a God, because I should?ve lost my mind by now. God spared me. He said, ?keep your mind, lose your hair.? I said, ?Deal.? What else was I gonna say?

It?s close to closing time at Rosen Publishing and anticipation grows as we all wonder when the sky will finally open up. Seems as if meteorologists have been teasing us with the threat of snow since at least Sunday. Keeps getting pushed back. Slightly maddening. Almost as much as the job itself, but not quite. Online radio shows break up the monotony of the customer service gig. Answer the phone, troubleshoot the problem, take the order, gauge attitudes, somehow keep your own in check, repeat as necessary. Some days are insane here. Some days not so much.

Still getting used to the idea of me doing this. I never liked the whole blog thing and here I am, right in the mix. Joke?s on me, I guess. I suppose it?s better than choosing from that list of things this world will make you do, so here we go. Therapy where you can get it.

Like I said, I?m new to this. More will follow in a more comfortable fashion. Gotta start somewhere. To be continued.

Posted by macedonia at 5:23 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 17 February 2004 4:35 PM EST
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