Master of All Large Things: I am the Master of all large things and you shall cower in my shadow as I intimidate you with my prestige, good looks, great hair, and dazzling, white smile. You shall tell me I’m Beautiful and that you shall never match my radiance.
Meek Servant: (I’m the meek servant and I would say you were a vain, arrogant, bastard that got a face-lift, false teeth, and $1,000,000 debt to the Master of all Darkness, Jack. But, I will not tell you the truth because you can squash me flat with your four-letter-words and turn me over to the Master of all Darkness, Jack, which is, now that I think about it, not so bad.) So you are really a vain, arrogant, bastard that got a face-lift, false teeth, and $1,000,000 debt to the Master of all Darkness, Jack.
Jack: Jack the Unholy Redeemer of the Underworld who lives near the River Styx in the titanic dark building, which is a castle of great darkness and proportion, on the cliff by the dead tree which bears one piece of fruit a year which he, the Master of all Darkness, is the only one who can touch it besides his loyal servant, Quickthorpe, who serves him through all space and eternity now and forever in this dark Underworld which we, the Dark Ones, fear as do the mortals above, who are still living, and/or didn’t sink on the Titanic because they either weren’t alive or they escaped or they didn’t buy a ticket or in some cases didn’t win one or die because of love… Excuse me. I accept the meek servant as my meek servant and I banish all bigness from my kingdom, except for my house. (Rose enters) Rose, is it really you?!!!?! You’ve come back to me, I mean you finally died?? Did you do everything I fortold???
Rose: Yes, Jack. I have. Shall we go? I never did like large crowds like this. Ssooooo, what have you been doing while I was gone?
Jack: I, the Master of all Darkness, am called by my people, the Dark Ones, Jack the Unholy Redeemer of the Underworld…
Meek Servant: Excuse me, but look at the title! It says “The Meek Servant isn’t so meek anymore!” That means that it is about ME! I’m not meek anymore and this is my story! I have rights too you know, I ain’t no scum that talks bad English, see, so don’t none of ya try to steal my story!
Rose: This story isn’t about you anymore because your story is over. The meek servant isn’t meek anymore so the story is over. Now, shall we be going Jack? You can continue with what you were saying.
Nar.: Hi! I’m the end narrator dude. I’m going to tell you what happens after they leave. Ahem! So after Jack, Rose, and the Meek dude leave and live happily ever after in their own little insignificant worlds. (You know, Jack and Rose finally get married after 84 years, and the Meek Servant becomes good friends with Quickthorpe and later leaves to liberate other meek servants and meets a pretty meek servant girl, who works at a nearby inn, and you get the idea) The End. Or so we think.
Master of All Stage Directions: (I am the Master of all stage directions and I command the stage to grow dark.)
Master of All Large Things: What about me? I’m hurt and I was banished. I have no home, I’m alone. Waaaaa!!!!!!
Meek Servant: Oh, go to bother the Master of all Good and Beauty, you big crybaby!
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