writing

.The Worst of Things
Lost in forever's misery
The hill becomes steeper
My paved pathway grows to biting rocks
Pushing beyond the hard times
More obstacles are flung at me
My apartment is smashed up
Beginning to lose it
I am lost in forever's misery

Searching for the gateway out
The one tide to turn
The exit sign is nowhere to be found
I hear a voice
She cuts her part of me away from her heart
It gets harder
Car stolen
I am lost in forever's misery

I feel a pinch in my calf
The red liquid drips out as does my life drift away
The bleeding stopped with the bullet left in
I am hoping for a better result
That will never come
Corporate downsized with no warning
The rocks are sharper than before and the road worse
I am lost in forever's misery

.24 Hours
Tomorrow's at the mercy of today
Running away from today's dilemmas brings it's consequences
Wrong doings will have their repercussions
You have here and now to contemplate
Contemplate the near future
Choices need be chosen well
For what you perform today reflects on tomorrow

.Loser
I sit here alone
The silence consuming my insides
I try to cope
But the situation is my own
I sit alone
Perplexed by the markings my palm holds
My mind wheels through endless thoughts
The pen works its wonder
The silence penetrates my emotions
Like a rusty nail driven through your ear drums
I casnnot help but imagine
The world outside of my window
Lights gleam
Motions still
Inside the glass I sit
Alone in silence
As it corrodes my form

.Mental Assasin
The disarrangement of my thoughts
His mind's confinement has no boundaries
A certain chaos controls him
Images in his head race liquid red
Turbulant gore engulfs the space
No remorse
His mercy is disfunctional
Regrets of his temptive thoughts thrown out the window
The moment is too mesmorzing
Metamorphosis of thoughts into actions
His hands work their wicked magic
The brutal brainworks own him now
His graceful masterpiece is concluded
With savage thoughts as his companion
Another is consumed

.Orgasm in Red
She's just been sitting there
Staring into nothing at everything
A simple red shirt
Huggging the curves of her above average chest
Long brown hair leading your eyes
Down her figure the stems she walks on
Tight jeans snap to her luscious cheeks
She just sits there
Ever so sexual
No knowledge of how desired my third eye is for her
Without a smile on her lips
My emotions roll
Lusting to be inside of her
Reaching for pleasure
I find grip
She's screaming my name
Thrusting me forward
Inward
So rough, so tempting
All by just sitting
Staring at the world through emptiness
She fucks so hard, so good
Reaching away from the liguid
My unclean thoughts gone as my eyes open

.No
Hands thrusting her down
She screams no
His power overcoming her struggle
The predator is too strong
Fiercely she squeals in pain
Fighting for her pruity
Her clothes tear
As easily as paper
Her mind races
His body pressures
Too much pressure to handle
She can't give it
It's not going to happen like this
His hand strikes
Unconsciousness falls over her
Without movement
Nor fight
He plunges in
She lies helpless
Her body has been altered
Her purity stolen
It's all over in a matter of minutes
Too long for her
Too short for help to come
Enough time for him to come
It's over
His moves on to his next victim
Alone she lies
Unconscious
Tears rain from her soul
Her body helpless
Still screaming no

.High
Hate, I feel it well up inside
Stoned, I wish I could get high
Taking away all the hurt
Giving me wings
Setting me free

Give me the plant of happiness
I need the extra love
To feel inside
Because actual pleasure has been denied
I need that high

Roll then light
I don't care who I lose
Baking just like last time
Enough is never enough

Inhale, exhale
Taking it all in
I get stoned from within
Happiness floods my damaged cells
Stoned, liking the feeling

.Wrist Cutting Ideas
Sitting in the corner
Of this thing called life
The walls are staring into my lifeless eyes
Tears run along my skin like knives
Nothing left to lose or gain
My emotions rushing forth
A grotesgue dagger flown into my heart
Lying on the bathroom floor
Reflecting an image of a shattered boy
Sitting and waiting
Praying already
Already hoping for a miracle
I have no more fight
I am giving up
My hand holds the gleaming silver

The razor Slowly pressed against the blue veins along my wrist
That are filled with anger
Rage and hate
Hating my life
I can't bear this feeling anymore
Everything is hell to me
Every step is more torture
My insides have collapsed
My outsides are folding in

Gliding the silver edge along my skin
Flesh is now able to see the outside world
Pain
Anger
Rage
Released in a stream of red horror
I begin to question Whether or not this is the right decision
My eyes dim as I stare at the wound
This was wrong
My mind racing with regret
Face lying on the tiles

Everyone dies at some point
I wish I hadn't done this
Placing the stained razor down from my grasp
I rise
My mind is spinning crazy circles around my head
What if I had really done it?

.754 Miles Away and Destroyed
Going home used to be such a joy
I remember when I couldn't wait to be back
This time is different
The plane ride isn't what I want
That phone call last night broke me into pieces
I remember when I loved to go home
This time I'd rather not go
I don't want to see you
You didn't deserve what happened
I'm crying in the airport
The elevator is bringing me higher
Closer to you in a way
I remember when I loved to see your face
But not this time
I would rather stay in my bed
Let my emotions hit me in the face
My tears shred my cheeks
Going home used to be such a joy
I remember when I couldn't wait to be back
The last time you were there with me
We had endless fun
Together
But that can't, won't happen again
This plane ride is the worst thing ever
I wish I didn't get that phone call last night
A month ago I couldn't wait to see your face
This time I don't want to see you at all
What good is this trip home
I wish I didn't have to come home
To your body laying lifeless in the kasket
Going home used to be such a joy
I remember when I couldn't wait to be back
I wish that phone call would have never came last night
I wish what happened never did
My eyes don't want to see your dead body
Sorry I wasn't there to save you

.Broken to Smile
I stand deep in this puddle
Wet filth up to my knees
Soaking through my blues against my boney shins
Waiting here under this overpass for someone
The time is boring me to sleep
Only ten minutes late
I have false expectations that she's the type to dress up
Get pretty for a guy like me
For a girl like herself
Believing that the arrival of her hello will come
Not depending on her promise
I hope she's off in the distance
Watching me kick the beer cans wasted to the bottle of this puddle
I wouldn't be standing in this filth if it wasn't for her
I find myself in the middle of nowhere
In the middle of nowhere is where I am finding myself
Twenty four and a half past the hour she promised
Her complextion can't be witnessed by me, waiting so long
The water kicks my shin without my reaction
Pushing myself to wait just another five
Then ten and then another hour
She's just not going to come

The walk home was distant, cold, and tunneling
Thoughts about her betrayal to the promise
Her words sounded so perfect
But it was too good to be true

I awake the next morning
Depressed among moods venturing to class
Late by fifteen minutes I enter the room
Plant myself on the wooden supports and see
Her final project
A photograph of a lonely being

.Beg Away
Pad locked and double bolted
I've swallowed the golden key to my room
Kept from you in this room
Trying to keep myself from you
You creep under my door and
Stand before me with your emotions rung out
I hate this part of the relationship
You're on your knees with tears
I hate when you come crawling back
Last week was so different
When you didn't want me
And you're lying when you say you missed me
You never missed a thing about us
Really nothing has changed
You're still the same old tramp
From the bar four years past
What was the poison that made me fall for you
I will never know
Tomorrow will bring the same pain as yesterday did
It doesn't matter what you say today

.Jamie and Ricardo
Sitting here like the loser beside me
I turn my head and see only a reflection
Same skin, same eyes, same nose as me
Mirrored in my head are the insults shot at me daily
How come
No one seems to understand me
Not even you
And you're my best friend
So much for my valentine
You were too drunk to recall the promise
So much for best friends
The locket around my neck is vacant
Don't expect a ride home tonight
So much for best friends
Best friends never stab each other opposite the stomach

.One Last Sip Goodnight
Sipping down this toxic potion
I can't seem to shake you from my songs
This day has gone on for so long
Just leave us alone to fend
We both acquire that it was never meant to be
These diffrences, the fights
All such weight on the bar I've been holding
I just can't take it anymore
Nevermore
I hope this potion puts me
Out tonight
You and I were never meant as us
My only escape is my room, my bed
And it hurts so much, your bed
Only if you hadn't taken the sheets
But instead this potion
Maybe I could have understood this better
I'm frigid and barren
You and I were always meant as nothing
Never meant as something
Something you were to me
Nothing was the something
This hurts and hurts, it's not easy
Just leave us alone
Together for us we can leave us alone

.Getting Out
These feelings my own, are not like yours
So much for accepting when everyone's always rejecting
Just over that mountain and across
This sea is where I want to go
Where I will be once this one's over
Where criticism exists like the true democratic government upon us
A place where rejected opinions find readmittance
A land without worry, one without such stress
I'd love for you to come, it's only you and I from here on in
It'll be what we make of this
Not what it's made to be

.A Friend Gone Sour
The drinks at the parties
The parties just aren't me
It just so happens
That I don't fit into the system very well
It's too bad I'm without you
I'll flip this board without laughter
Freedom, no more drama arrousing within
I'm content wih myself
You're still stressing out on what you want to be
Like the rest of them
Someone you're not
My Friday nights are fine
This computer screen is good enough for me
You won't even notice I'm not there
No one ever noticed I was there
But does anyone care?
In my eyes
It takes more to be yourself
So go ahead
Have fun trying, you're becoming what you once hated