Joey Styles: Hello and welcome to Extreme Championship WRESTLING!! We're live here in Marietta, Georgia...I'm Joey Styles...

Chase Cassidy: And I am your host, your hero, and your friend...the star of ECW and the wrestling world in general...the best color commentator ever to set foot in the wrestling business...CHASE CASSIDY! Yeah! Woohah! oW oW! Sizzle!

Joey Styles: ...Sizzle?...

Chase Cassidy: I know Joseph, I know! I am hot, you don't have to tell me.

Joey Styles: I won't.

Chase Cassidy: Good, because that would just be...weird...

Joey Styles: I won't even go into that. We welcome you to ECW Hardcore TV! As you just saw, earlier today, Paul Heyman signed a Cruiserweight Title match tonight...FINALLY we'll crown a Cruiserweight Champion! There's one slight change in plans though. Yoshihiro Tajiri was signed to be a part of the match, but after the punishment he took last week on his shoulder, he's unable to compete here tonight.

Chase Cassidy: Good!

Joey Styles: Good!? How can you say that Chase? Joey Matthews and Christian York ripped Tajiri's shoulder apart last week in that HANDICAPPED match!

Chase Cassidy: First of all, it wasn't a handicapped match. The match was fair and square, had Mikey Whipwreck gotten his butt out of bed and come to the show. Second--

Joey Styles: Mikey Whipwreck can hardly walk Chase!

Chase Cassidy: Still!

Joey Styles: In any case, Paul Heyman has picked Tajiri's replacement himself and we'll see who that is in just a few seconds!

Joey Styles: Oh come on!

Chase Cassidy: Patience is a virtue Joseph.

Joey Styles: I was talking about Psicosis Chase. What is wrong with him? He certainly seems to be sporting a new attitude...

Chase Cassidy: Um...YOUR MOM!

Joey Styles: Thanks Chase for your brilliant insight...

Chase Cassidy: No problemo Joe-AY! oW oW!

Joey Styles: Well...next up should be the replacement for Tajiri, hand-picked by Paul Heyman himself...who do you think it is Chase?

Chase Cassidy: KAMALA! It HAS to be KAMALA!

Joey Styles: Chase...Kamala isn't even a Cruiserweight...

Chase Cassidy: ...Okay...and your point would be...what exactly?

Joey Styles: Nevermind...

::"Man Without Skin" by Boy Hits Car echoes throughout the arena and smoke fills the stage. Out comes...Shannon Moore! Shane Helms looks extremely surprised in the ring. The fans cheer for Moore as he runs down the aisle and slides into the ring::

Joey Styles: I can't believe it! It's Shannon Moore!

Chase Cassidy: Oh, now this is unfair! Shannon Moore and Shane Helms are a team!

::Shannon Moore and Shane Helms stare at each other, then quickly turn and attack Psicosis and Kid Kash respectively. Helms backs Kid Kash into the corner and starts pounding away on him. Moore whips Psicosis into the ropes. Psicosis catches Moore with a body scissors and takes him down with an armdrag. Moore gets up and kicks Psicosis in the stomach. He goes for a suplex, but Psicosis hooks the bottom rope with his foot and won't budge. Psicosis pokes Moore in the eyes and picks him up, sitting him on the top turnbuckle. Psicosis climbs up for a frankensteiner but Shannon holds onto the top rope. Psicosis falls off, but lands on his feet. Shannon gets to his feet up top and Psicosis runs back at him. Psicosis throws him off the top turnbuckle, to the outside, and through the time keeper's table!! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" chants erupt in the crowd::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!! That could spell the end for Shannon Moore!

Chase Cassidy: Tables can't spell Joseph!

Joey Styles: Chase, it was a figure of speech.

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, so is eat shi---

Joey Styles: SHANNON Moore isn't moving...this can't be good.

::Shane Helms whips Kid Kash across the ring into the corner. Kash stumbles out and Helms nails him with his running neckbreaker! 1...2...Kid Kash kicks out. As Helms gets to his knees, Psicosis kicks him in his head. Psicosis bounces off the ropes and nails him with a dropkick to the forehead. 1...2...Shane Helms kicks out! Kid Kash uses the ropes and gets to his feet at the same time as Psicosis. Psicosis rushes towards Kash who back body drops him to the outside. Kid Kash waits as Psicosis gets to his feet, then springboards over the top rope. He lands on the shoulders of Psicosis and flips him over with a hurricanrana!! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" Kid Kash slides back in the ring and poses on the second turnbuckle. Helms comes up to him from behind and hits a razor's edge into a sitdown powerbomb. 1...2...Kid Kash manages to get the shoulder up. Helms bounces off the ropes and nails a dropkick. He positions Kash in the ring and goes to the top rope looking for his frogsplash. Psicosis hops onto the ring apron and crotches Helms up top! Psicosis climbs up beside Helms, spins around, and catches Helms with a frankensteiner! Helms flies off the top turnbuckle and lands on Kid Kash! Psicosis grabs a chair and brings it back into the ring, then climbs to the top turnbuckle. He flies off and drives the chair into Kash's face with a guillotine legdrop! 1...2...3!::

Joey Styles: Kid Kash is the first to be eliminated!

Chase Cassidy: I'm going with Psicosis to win this one.

Joey Styles: You would...

Chase Cassidy: What's that supposed to mean!?

::Psicosis poses for the booing fans, proud of his accomplishment. Shane Helms hooks him from behind and drops him with the Nightmare on Helms Street! 1...2...Psicosis gets a foot on the ropes! Helms grabs Psicosis by the horns on his mask and tries to pull him up. Psicosis nails him with a lowblow, then rolls him up with a small package! 1...2...Helms kicks out! Both men get up and Psicosis grabs Helms by the hair and throws him to the mat. Psicosis chokes Shane with his foot, then bounces off the middle rope. He spins in mid-air and drops a leg on Helms. 1...2...Helms kicks out again! Psicosis lifts Helms up in suplex position and drives him to the mat with a brainbuster! Psicosis calls for the end and goes to the top turnbuckle. He stands up on top looking for his guillotine legdrop, but Shannon Moore crotches him out of nowhere! Moore climbs in the ring as Helms gets to his feet. Shannon Moore charges at Shane Helms...::

Joey Styles: Wait, what is this!?

Chase Cassidy: I knew it! The Cruiserweight Title has come between the Tag Team partners! I knew it would happen all along! I'm a genius!

::Helms launches Moore over his head and Moore lands on Psicosis' shoulders. He flips backwards and throws Psicosis off the top with a frankensteiner! Helms makes the cover and Moore just kind of stares at him. 1...2...Psicosis barely gets the shoulder up! Moore bounces Psicosis off the ropes and goes for a clothesline. Psicosis ducks it and nails Helms with a spinning heel kick sending him to the outside. Psicosis picks up the chair in the ring and goes to hit Moore with it. Shannon kicks Psicosis in the gut and drives him face-first into the chair and the mat with the Bottoms Up! 1...2...3!::

Joey Styles: Psicosis has been eliminated!

Chase Cassidy: What!? Cheater! Tricheur! That's French Joseph!

Joey Styles: I'm glad...but you know what that means Chase...

Chase Cassidy: Of course I know what tricheur means!

Joey Styles: No, no, no...Psicosis being eliminated...that means it's down to Shannon Moore and Shane Helms.

Chase Cassidy: Hahaha! The tag partners have to duke it out for the title now! Haha! Sucks to be them!

::Shane Helms rolls back in the ring and gets to his feet. He stares across the ring at his tag team partner. They meet in the center of the ring and shake hands. They circle each other a few times before locking up. All of a sudden, a huge "ASSHOLE!" chant breaks out. The Impact Players jump over the guardrails and slide into the ring, each with a chair. Lance Storm nails Helms from behind with a chairshot to the back of the head. Shannon goes to attack Storm, but Credible cracks him with a chairshot. The Impact Players tie Helms up in the ropes and then start beating Shannon Moore down with their chairs while Helms watches. Storm pulls Moore to his feet and holds him there as Credible levels him with three vicious chairshots busting Shannon open. The Impact Players pose with the chairs...then leave the ring with Moore a bloody mess, and Helms still tied up in the ropes::

Joey Styles: Oh dear god! Someone, quick! Get out here! This is hideous!

Chase Cassidy: Hmm...I think the Impact Players got their point across pretty well...

Joey Styles: Oh yeah, by brutally attacking Helms and Moore with chairs and ruining yet another Cruiserweight match. Someone get out here and help Shannon Moore...he's not moving...he's a bloody mess...

::The referee helps Shane Helms out of the ropes and the two of them help get Shannon to the back::

::Backstage...Taylor Matheney and Josh Mathews are seen in their locker room, sitting on the couch close together, watching the television set. With a loud bang, the door is thrown open. Josh and Taylor quickly move away from each other to opposite ends of the couch. Jamie Knoble and Ivory walk in smiling::

Jamie Knoble: OOOoooo! What do we have here!?

Ivory: Aww...jeez, that's so darned cute!

Jamie Knoble: Shucks...look at 'em Ivory...I'm thinkin' we scared the lil' lovebirds! Haha! Josh: What the hell do you guys want!? Taylor: Get out of here!

::Ivory starts making smooching noises::

Jamie Knoble: Calm down, we don't wanna cause any trouble or nothin'...

Ivory: Haha! Josh and Taylor, sitting in a tree...

::Jamie Knoble joins in::

Together: K-I-S-S-I-N--

::Josh gets to his feet and charges at Knoble and Ivory who rush out the door. Josh turns to Taylor...::

Josh: That's it!

::Josh leaves the room in a hurry::

Taylor: Josh! Wait!

::The cameras follow as Josh and Taylor chase Jamie Knoble and Ivory down the hallway. Knoble and Ivory slip into their locker room and lock the door. Josh pounds on the door furiously and yelling for them to come out. The camera pans around to find Dawn Marie on the scene with a microphone::

Dawn Marie: Hi! I'm Dawn Marie!!

::Dawn giggles and bounces up and down::

Dawn Marie: Are you two...like...you know...like...

Josh: No...no Dawn, we're JUST FRIENDS...

Dawn Marie: Oh...well...

::Dawn trails off and is distracted by Nova who is in the background. Josh tapes her on the shoulder, startling her::

Dawn Marie: Omigod! Hi! I'm Dawn Marie!

Josh: Yes...I know...

Dawn Marie: Yeah, that's me. Is there a problem?

Josh: Yes, actually there is...

Dawn Marie: Oh no, what is it? Is my hair messed up!? Oh no!

Josh: No...

Dawn Marie: Heebie jeebies, is my lipstick smeared!? I'm ruined!

Josh: No! The problem is with Jamie Knoble, Dawn, not you. I'm sick of him! Knoble...you ran like a coward...and I shouldn't have expected more from you. I know you're listening and tonight there'll be nowhere to run. Your "by God" ass is mine...I'll see you in the "by God" ring!!

::Dawn Marie stares as Taylor and Josh walk back down the hall towards their locker room::

Dawn Marie: Oh no! My hair!

::Dawn Marie bounces on down the hall in search of a mirror::

::X-Pac walks into Cyrus’ Office::

Cyrus: What do you want now!?

X-Pac: I’m sick of being in ECW and you not giving me any T.V time! I want a match. I don’t care who with. I’m a wrestler...I wrestle...that’s my job.

Cyrus: Sorry, no can do...now please, turn yourself about and egress...

X-Pac: No can do? How about this...since your “man-beast” Rhino attacked me last week...why don’t you give me a match with him? I’m sure you’d love to see your corporate ass-kisser get his hands on me.

Cyrus: You’re right, I would. There’s a little problem though...Rhino has a match. No match for you! Tah tah!

::X-Pac just smiles at Cyrus::

Cyrus: SCRAM! NOW! Before I suspend you! I’m with the Office...I have the brass dammit!

X-Pac: Fine...but remember...payback’s a BITCH!

::X-Pac gives Cyrus a crotch-chop before leaving his office::

::"Sun Shining Down on Me" by Jackyl hits and Chris Hamrick walks out on stage. The fans boo as he points to the curtains which open to reveal ECW's resident stripper, E.Z. Money. He steps onto the stage sporting his usual garb, sequin cowboy hat and all...including his Television Title which he strokes proudly. The members of Hot Commodity walk down the aisle to a warm reception of "He's got herpes!" chants. Trumpets blare as they step into the ring. "E-C-DUB!" chants break out as soon as the music hits. Kurt Angle walks onto stage covering his ears, proudly decked out in a t-shirt with a huge WWF logo on the front, pictures of Rob Van Dam, Chris Jericho, the Undertaker, and the Hardy Boyz on the back. The fans boo him as he models the shirt on the stage for a minute::

Joey Styles: Wow, Angle is over-doing it a little this time...

Chase Cassidy: Kurt Angle looks exceptional today...what is it? Did he get his hair cut? No...oh I know! It's that lovely shirt he's wearing! Haha!

Joey Styles: I can't even believe Kurt Angle...he's employed by ECW you know.

Chase Cassidy: Your mom!

Joey Styles: No, not quite.

::Angle makes his way down the aisle and grabs a microphone from the time keeper before getting in the ring::

Kurt Angle: Now, I know that tonight I'll be teaming with a stripper, but don't think for one minute that my image will be tainted because of it, oh no! E.Z. Money is a respectable mat technician, submission artist, AND the ECW Television Champion, it's true! Just because I'm teaming with Mr. Money, an ECW Champion, doesn't mean that I have forgiven ECW. I haven't! It's true! ECW isn't good wrestling...ECW is TRASH wrestling! Hell, ECW isn't wrestling at all!! The only respectable wrestling, besides collegiate wrestling, is wrestling from the World Wrestling Federation...it's true, it's damn true. So right now, I encourage all of you people here to find the exit nearest you, and walk out of this building! Let Paul Heyman know that you don't support his trashy promotion! You people at home...I encourage you to turn the channel, and turn it right to WWF Raw, a nice, decent, family oriented, WRESTLING program. You heard me...wrestling...not this trash that Paul Heyman is trying to give you. You people deserve more than this! You do, it's true! I'm an Olympic gold medalist, I would know!

::"Breathe" by Prodigy interrupts Kurt Angle's lecture and a small, pale mannequin head pops through the curtains, headbanging to the music. The fans go crazy chanting "We Want Head! We Want Head!!"::

Chase Cassidy: I can't believe this! Who does he think he is? He just interrupted my Olympic Hero Kurt Angle!!

Joey Styles: Thank God!

Chase Cassidy: Oh, don't you bring God into this buster!

Joey Styles: Don't call me buster.

Chase Cassidy: Okay...buster!

::Al Snow walks out onto the stage with Head and spins around in circles. Kurt Angle and E.Z. Money are furious in the ring. Angle dares Al to get in the ring, but Snow stays on the stage and laughs. "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys hits and Nova rushes out from behind the curtains with a full head of steam. He and Al Snow run down the aisle and slide into the ring. Angle and Money simultaneously throw punches which are blocked by Nova and Al Snow respectively. Nova and Snow fire back with punches off their own. Nova knocks Kurt Angle through the ropes with a running kneelift, then flies over the top rope onto him with a crossbody. Al Snow whips E.Z. Money into the corner and grabs Head. Just then, Chris Hamrick hops onto the ring apron, distracting Snow. Snow swings and nails Chris Hamrick with Head, knocking him to the floor. "E-C-DUB!" Snow swings at E.Z. Money who moves out of the way. E.Z. Money dropkicks Al from behind and Al falls face first onto the second turnbuckle. Money runs and boosts himself up using the top rope, flips over, and rolls Snow up with a modified sunset flip. 1...2...Snow kicks out. On the outside, Nova whips Kurt Angle into the steel guardrails and follows it up with a clothesline knocking Angle into the crowd. Nova climbs back into the ring then runs and jumps onto the top rope. He springs off and flies into the crowd, nailing a huge splash on Kurt Angle. "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!!::

Joey Styles: Oh my GOD! Did you see that!?

Chase Cassidy: No Joseph, I momentarily blacked out, slipped into a coma, then quickly snapped out of it only to miss the big splash into the crowd. OF COURSE I SAW THAT!

::Nova climbs out of the crowd and gets into his corner while E.Z. Money works over Al Snow with some kicks. He pulls Al up and hooks him for a suplex. Money then nails Snow with his release suplex. 1...2...Al Snow kicks out! E.Z. Money gets onto the ring apron. When Al Snow gets to his feet, Money flips over the top rope and goes for the Money Clip. Al Snow ducks it and E.Z. Money walks right into a rockbottom into a sitdown powerbomb. 1...2...Chris Hamrick gets in the ring and breaks up the count. Nova climbs into the ring and runs at Hamrick. Hamrick kicks him in the gut looking for a ddt, but Nova picks him up on his back and drops him with the Krytonite Krunch. The referee gets Nova out of the ring and Al Snow crawls to try and make the tag. Kurt Angle rolls into the ring and pulls Snow away from his corner. Angle claps his hands together behind the referee's back, tagging himself in. Angle pulls Snow up and nails a belly to belly suplex...1...2...Snow barely kicks out. Angle backs Snow into the corner and suplexes him onto the top turnbuckle. Angle runs and hops onto the top rope going for another belly to bell on Snow, but Snow pushes him off. Snow gets down and crawls over to his corner, making the hot tag to Nova. Angle realizes that Nova has been tagged in, and quickly tags out to E.Z. Money. Money gets in and gets clotheslined down to the mat. He gets up again and gets knocked to the mat. Nova begs him to get up again. This time Nova goes behind him and drops him with the Spin Doctor. 1...2...E.Z. Money kicks out! Nova whips Money into the ropes, but Money reverses it. Chris Hamrick nails Nova with a chair from the outside. Nova stumbles forward and Money lifts him up, then drops him with the Money in the Bank! 1...2...3!!::

Chase Cassidy: Woohah! oW oW! E.Z. Money has done it!

Joey Styles: Yeah, thanks to help from Chris Hamrick as usual!

Chase Cassidy: I don't know what you're talking about Joseph...you're delusional.

::Al Snow gets in the ring and gives E.Z. Money a shot with Head. Kurt Angle gets in the ring and belly to bellies Al Snow over the top rope. "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" Angle covers his ears because of the chant. Chris Hamrick slides a table into the ring, then grabs a chair and takes it into the ring with him. Angle props the table up in the corner and pulls Nova up. He holds Nova for Hamrick. Hamrick swings the chair, but Nova ducks and Chris Hamrick clocks Angle with it! Nova double-knees the chair into Hamrick who falls out of the ring. Nova picks Kurt Angle up and drives him through the table with the Kryptonite Krunch to a huge pop! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!"::

Joey Styles: Oh my god! Krytonite Krunch through the table! Nova has gotten his revenge!

Chase Cassidy: Poor Kurt...he's been subjected to that trash wrestling he was talking about...I wonder what kind of damages it has done...

Joey Styles: Angle said ECW isn't even wrestling at all though Chase.

Chase Cassidy: Oh yeah...that's what I meant!

::Backstage in the medical room...Shane Helms is checking on Shannon Moore as an EMT nurses the gash in Moore's forehead. Shannon Moore seems somewhat resistant, then he sees the camera. He pushes the EMT out of the way and hops off the medical table, getting right up close to the camera::

Shannon Moore: Impact Players...Justin Credible...Lance Storm...tonight you ruined my chance at winning the ECW Cruiserweight Title...

Shane Helms: Both of our chances at the title!

Shannon Moore: You guys can think whatever you want about the Cruiserweights here in ECW, but the fact of the matter is that you're just jealous.

Shane Helms: You're jealous of our talent, jealous of our ability, and jealous of the exposure we get.

Shannon Moore: You can attack us all you want, but we just keep getting up. You can beat me, batter me, bloody me, but I'm still standing.

Shane Helms: You can interfere all you want. You can try to get noticed all you want, but you're just making it worse. If you think that we're just going to sit back like everyone else and let you continue to do what you've been doing...YOU'RE WRONG!

Shannon Moore: You see...Shane and I...we aren't scared of you. We're not just going to sit back and let you ruin our chances, bully people, act like you own the place, and piss on everything ECW stands for.

Shane Helms: Tonight...we're taking a stand...Tonight, Impact Players, we're making a challenge to YOU! We realize how much you like to use chairs...so at Heatwave, you two versus us...in a DUELING CHAIRS MATCH!

Shannon Moore: Our blood may be spilt just like mine was tonight...but your blood will stain the arena at Heatwave!

::Helms and Moore stare into the camera, Moore with blood spill out of his forehead and running down his face::

Joey Styles: I can't believe it! Shannon Moore and Shane Helms just challenged the Impact Players to a match at Heatwave!!

Chase Cassidy: They don't know what they're in for...especially in a dueling chairs match!

Joey Styles: I'm just glad that someone is finally standing up to the Impact Players!

::"Dogtooth Violet" by Big Mother Thruster hits and Josh Mathews steps through the curtains accompanied by Taylor Matheney to a good reaction. They make their way to the ring::

Joey Styles: Fans at home may know these two best from WWF Tough Enough season one, but they're here now. ECW recognizes talent when they see it, and these two youngsters bring a lot to the table.

Chase Cassidy: Pfft! Talent? What talent? I've got more talent in my--

Joey Styles: CHASE! Enough Chase...enough...

::"Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynard Skynard blares through the speakers. Jamie Knoble walks out on stage with Ivory by his side to a chorus of boos. Ivory points and yells at Taylor as they walk down the stairs. As they reach the ring, Taylor gets out and Knoble gets in. The bell rings as Knoble and Josh circle each other. Jamie Knoble dives for Josh's leg, but Mathews dodges it. Knoble gets to his knees and Josh dropkicks him right in the face. Knoble struggles to get to his feet and Josh immediately bounces him off the ropes. Knoble comes running back only to be nailed with a hurricanrana! Josh whips Knoble into the ropes once again, but Jamie Knoble drops down and slides out of the ring. As Ivory checks on him, Josh Mathews goes to the top rope and flies off with a moonsault. Ivory moves out of way in the nick of time, but Josh collides with Knoble. Josh pulls himself up using the ring apron and Ivory attacks him from behind by jumping on his back and choking him. He throws her off as Taylor comes running around the ring. Taylor nails Ivory with a spear right into the steel guardrails!::

Joey Styles: These two ladies really want to get a piece of each other!

Chase Cassidy: I really want to...well...nevermind. oW oW!

Joey Styles: Good choice Chase.

::Josh rolls Knoble back in the ring and makes the cover...1...2...Knoble gets the shoulder up. Josh whips Knoble towards the ropes, but Knoble reverses it. Josh bounces off the ropes and Ivory trips him. Josh gets up and yells at Ivory allowing Knoble to hook him behind and nail a german suplex! 1...2...Josh kicks out! Both men get up and Knoble nails Josh with an elbow to the ribs. He picks Josh up and drops him ribs first over his knee. 1...2...Josh gets the shoulder up. Knoble backs Josh into the corner and repeatedly drives his shoulders into the ribcage of Mathews. Knoble backs up and charges at Mathews who hops over him and rolls him up! 1...2...Jamie Knoble barely kicks out! They both get up and Josh bounces off the ropes then catches Knoble with a flying headscissors. Josh clutches at his ribs as Jamie Knoble pulls himself up using the top rope. Josh catches him with a headlock from behind, bounces his feet off the top rope, and drops Knoble with a bulldog! 1...2...3! Josh quickly rolls out of the ring holding his ribs and Taylor helps him back up the aisle::

Joey Styles: Jamie Knoble can't believe it! I can't either! Josh Mathews just pulls that victory out of nowhere!

Chase Cassidy: That's not possible Joseph, you can't pull something out of nowhere. This isn't magic and I'm not Houdini!

Joey Styles: I know you're not Houdini, Chase!

Chase Cassidy: You're right, I'm not!

Joey Styles: I KNOW! It wasn't meant to be taken literally...

::Backstage...Cyrus' Office::

Cyrus: Tonight...you guys get your hands on two people who have been a thorn in our sides since day one...Tommy Dreamer and that idiot Stevie Richards!

::The camera pans around to see Joey Matthews and Christian York sitting on a couch in front of Cyrus' desk looking very surprise::

Joey Matthews: Wha-what!?

Christan York: I thought we had the night off!!

Cyrus: Well...you did. But you know, we're with the Office and all. They want ratings! And you both know that you two beating the crap out of the likes of Dreamer and Richards will send ratings through the roof! People want their York and Matthews just as much as they want their Commissioner Cyrus...business is business. And besides, Tommy Dreamer has been harassing me all week about it. I thought I'd never get him off my back!

::York and Matthews don't look too thrilled::

Cyrus: What? Don't worry about it...don't worry about it...I ALWAYS have a plan...

::Cyrus turns to the camera man::

Cyrus: GET OUT! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE BEFORE I CALL SECURITY! You think you're going to find out what the plan is? I DON'T THINK SO! We're with this Office! Are YOU with the Office!? I DON'T THINK SO! OUT! GET OUT! SCRAM! Don't make me call Rhino in here!

::The camera man hurries out of the office::

Joey Styles: ...Plan...??

Chase Cassidy: Cyrus ALWAYS has a plan! He's BRILLIANT!

Joey Styles: What could the plan possibly be? Maybe I don't want to know...after what Cyrus did last week, I shudder to think what he's capable of...

Chase Cassidy: He's BRILLIANT!

Joey Styles: You said that already Chase.

Chase Cassidy: So, he's BRILLIANT! Got a problem with it buster?

Joey Styles: Well, it's about time York and Matthews have to put their titles on the line!

Chase Cassidy: What are you talking about! They had a match for the title last week!

Joey Styles: That wasn't even fair! It was basically a handicapped match, and when Dreamer helped Tajiri and they won the titles, Cyrus screwed them over!!

Chase Cassidy: Tommy Dreamer wasn't even in the match! If only you weren't so biased Styles, ugh.

::"Scapegoat" by Fear Factory hits and Jerry Lynn steps through the curtains to a huge pop. He screams at the top of his lungs and screams as flashbulbs go off all over the arena. He runs down the aisle giving the fans high fives, then rolls into the ring and poses some more::

Joey Styles: The fans here are really behind Jerry Lynn!

Chase Cassidy: And what do the fans know? Answer me that Styles!

Joey Styles: They know what they like, and they'll let you know it!

Chase Cassidy: Pfft, they're just as bad as you.

::"Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors blasts throughout the arena and smoke fills the stage. Super Crazy walks out proudly displaying his ECW Intercontinental Title to a tremendous ovation. He drops the title at the time keeper's position and slides in the ring, posing for the fans. He and Jerry Lynn shake hands then lockup. Lynn twists Crazy's arm and holds him with a wristlock. Super Crazy tries to escape, but Lynn twists his arm again, wrenching away at it. Crazy grabs Lynn by the head with his other arm and flips him over to the mat. Both get up and Crazy bounces off the ropes then goes for a tornado ddt. Lynn dodges it and sends Super Crazy over the top rope. Crazy lands on his feet on the floor and pulls a folding chair out from under the ring. He gets up and kneels on the ring apron just as Lynn dropkicks him. Crazy falls to the floor and the chair lands on top of him. Jerry Lynn goes to the top rope and jumps off looking for a splash, but Crazy rolls out of the way while tossing the chair into the air. The chair collides with Lynn's face and the fans chant "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" Super Crazy crosses his fists in the air and the fans begin to chant his name::

Joey Styles: That's why he's our Intercontinental Champion!

Chase Cassidy: Because he can make the DX sign?

Joey Styles: First of all, it's not the DX sign. Second, NO! He's the Intercontinental Champion because he's a great wrestler.

Chase Cassidy: Wrestler? All he's done is throw a steel chair at someone. Pfft!

::Super Crazy pulls a bloody Jerry Lynn to his feet and tosses him over the guardrails into the front row. Crazy gets up on the apron waiting for Lynn to get back up. Crazy jumps onto the top rope and springboards off with an asai moonsault onto Jerry Lynn! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" Super Crazy rolls Jerry Lynn back into the ring and makes the cover. 1...2...Jerry Lynn barely kicks out! Super Crazy rolls back out of the ring. He pulls a table out from under the ring, takes it back in with him, pulls out the legs, and sets it up. Crazy suplexes Lynn onto the top turnbuckle and follows him up. Super Crazy goes for a punch, but Jerry Lynn blocks it. Jerry Lynn kicks Super Crazy in the stomach, stands up, and flips over him catching him with a sunset flip into a powerbomb. Super Crazy crashes through the table! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" chants come from the crowd::

Joey Styles: That's got to be it!

Chase Cassidy: But Jerry Lynn can't seem to make the cover!

Joey Styles: If Jerry Lynn could just roll over and pin Super Crazy, we'd have a new Intercontinental Champion!

Chase Cassidy: But he can't, wah. Boohoo. SNORE!

::Jerry Lynn rolls over and drapes an arm across the chest of Super Crazy::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: No! That was so close! We nearly had a new champ!

Chase Cassidy: I have a question for ya' Styles...

Joey Styles: Oh great, what is it?

Chase Cassidy: Why is Jerry Lynn even getting another title shot? He already got the rematch that was in his contract...and now...he gets another?

Joey Styles: I don't know Chase, I guess he's the most deserving for the shot.

Chase Cassidy: I'm sure there are plenty of other guys in the back that are just as deserving and have never even gotten the chance to go for the IC Title.

::Jerry Lynn gets to his feet right before Super Crazy. Crazy throws a punch which is blocked. Another punch thrown, another punch blocked. Jerry Lynn fires backs with lefts and rights. He bounces Crazy off the ropes, but Super Crazy reverses it. Lynn bounces off the ropes and Super Crazy goes for a back body drop. Lynn catches him though, and picks him up for the cradle piledriver! Super Crazy tries to escape, but Lynn spikes him with his finisher::

Joey Styles: Cradle piledriver! Cradle piledriver!

Chase Cassidy: We have eyes too Joseph...

Joey Styles: Lynn with the cover!

Chase Cassidy: ONE! TWO!!

Joey Styles: NO! No! I can't believe it! I can't believe this!

Chase Cassidy: ...HOW!?

Joey Styles: Super Crazy, our Intercontinental Champion, just kicked out of the cradle piledriver! This is unbelievable!

::Jerry Lynn can't believe it. He tells the referee it was three, but the ref disagrees. Lynn grabs the referee by the collar of his shirt and screams in his face. He lets go of the referee, turns around, and Super Crazy breaks a piece of table over his head! Jerry Lynn staggers forward and Super Crazy catches him with a hurricanrana! 1...2...Jerry Lynn kicks out. Super Crazy scoops Lynn up and slams him down near the corner. Crazy nails his trifecta of moonsaults perfectly. 1...2...Lynn kicks out again. Crazy pulls Lynn up and signals that it's over. He kicks Lynn in the stomach and crosses his arms under his chest. Super Crazy lifts Lynn into the air like that and slams him to the mat with his powerbomb::

Joey Styles: That's the Azteca Powerbomb, Super Crazy's finisher! It's over!

Chase Cassidy: ONE!

Joey Styles: TWO!

Chase Cassidy: NO! Jerry Lynn kicks out!

Joey Styles: I can't believe this! What an amazing bout this has been!

::Super Crazy can't believe that didn't put Lynn away. He slides out of the ring and brings a table back in with him and props it up against the turnbuckles. He goes back to the outside and brings a chair back in with him, then sets it on the mat. Super Crazy gets Lynn in suplex position and signals for the brainbuster, but Lynn pushes him away. Jerry Lynn tosses Super Crazy the chair and then kicks it into his face!::

Joey Styles: Chair to the face of Super Crazy by Jerry Lynn! Both men are down! Wait! Oh no...what does he want!?

::Jerry Lynn pulls himself to his feet as Rhino walks down the aisle. Rhino slides into the ring surprising Lynn. Lynn backs away from Rhino, obviously fatigued, as Super Crazy gets to his feet. All of a sudden...GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhino charges and gores Super Crazy right through the table in the corner!!::

Chase Cassidy: GORE! GORE! GORE! WOOHAH!

Joey Styles: What the hell did Rhino do that for!? He just gored Super Crazy right through the table! Jerry Lynn better watch out, looks like he's next!

::A “Fuck You Rhino!” chant quickly breaks out. Jerry Lynn drops to his knees and covers Super Crazy...1...2...3!::

Joey Styles: Wait a minute...I can't believe this...we've got a new Intercontinental Champion!

Chase Cassidy: Thanks to Rhino!

Joey Styles: Uh oh...if I were Jerry Lynn, I'd get out of there fast...Rhino doesn't look too pleased!

::The referee hands Jerry Lynn the IC Title, but Lynn won't take his eyes off Rhino. Suddenly Rhino charges at Jerry Lynn! Rhino stops right in front of Jerry Lynn, stares him in the face, and smiles. Jerry Lynn smiles, and the two shake hands! Rhino raises Jerry Lynn's arm in the air::

Joey Styles: What the hell is this all about!? Jerry, no! It's a trap!

Chase Cassidy: I'm...speechless...

Joey Styles: Thank god!

Chase Cassidy: ...and...confused...

Joey Styles: That's nothing new. Well ladies and gentlemen, I can't believe this. It looks like Jerry Lynn was in cahoots with Rhino all along! They're even going to the back together! This is disgusting! This is awful! I can't believe that Jerry Lynn would accept a win like that...

Chase Cassidy: Well, Joseph, he is our NEW Intercontinental Champion!!

Joey Styles: What else is going to happen tonight!? We've got to go backstage!

::Backstage...Cyrus is sitting at his desk::

Cyrus: Wow, what a match..what a match! That was fantastic, was it not? Ahh yes...we have a new Intercontinental Champion by the name of Jerry Lynn and I have a feeling you'll all be seeing A LOT more of him from now on. But right now, it's time for a marvelous announcement from me, your beloved Commissioner...CYRUS! You see, ever since Paul Heyman resurrected this god-forsaken wrestling company, your ECW Champion Raven and his Flock have been a thorn in my side. But tonight...ahhh...tonight, it ends. It stops. That's it! I refuse to put up with it any longer! Tonight, I put an end to the problems that Raven and his lackeys have caused me and my Office. You see, tonight, I'm making a match. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner...and I'll be surprised if Raven can even walk out of the building on his own accord after the show. Tonight is the Office's night, and tonight Raven will pay for his sins! Tonight, in the main event, it'll be Raven in a handicapped match against...Christian...and the man-beast Rhino!! Not only is it just a handicapped match, but it's also a...DOUBLE TABLES MATCH! That's right folks, Commissioner Cyrus is here to make you happy, and HAPPY YOU WILL BE!

::Back to the announcing position::

Chase Cassidy: Last week Cyrus said he was going to make Raven's life a living hell, and he's doing just that! oW oW! Look at him go!

Joey Styles: I'm still wondering why and HOW Cyrus was appointed Commissioner...what a jerk!

Chase Cassidy: He's brilliant! That's why! And you better watch your mouth. I'm sure Cyrus could find a better play by play guy than you Styles.

::"More Than You Are" by Grinspoon blares through the speakers and the ECW Tag Team Champions walk out on stage to deafening boos. They flaunt their gold and yell at the fans in the closest rows. They turn and point towards the curtains and Cyrus comes out, clipboard in hand. He quickly dodges a projectile beverage and fixes his sportscoat. They make their way to the ring::

Joey Styles: Earlier tonight, Cyrus said he had a plan involving this match...

Chase Cassidy: He's brilliant! I wonder what the plan is!

Joey Styles: Whatever it may be, it can't be good for the challengers!

::"Nitro" by the Offspring hits and the fans go nuts as Stevie Richards and Tommy Dreamer step onto the stage. They pose for the fans for a second, then run down the steps, down the aisle, and slide into the ring. Matthews and York throw punches, but they're blocked by Dreamer and Richards respectively. Richards kicks York in the gut and ddts him to the mat while Dreamer backs Matthews into the corner. Dreamer whips Matthews toward Richards who nails him with the Stevie kick! Richards makes the cover...1...2...Christian York breaks the cover up. The referee gets Dreamer and York into their corners as Richards goes to work on Joey Matthews. Stevie Richards hits a snap suplex on Matthews then goes to the second turnbuckle. He flies off dropping a leg on his opponent. 1...2...Joey Matthews kicks out. Richards picks him up and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker. Stevie tags in Tommy Dreamer who brings a chair with him. Christian York gets in and runs at Dreamer who clobbers him with a chairshot. Joey Matthews gets to his feet and receives a chairshot of his own. Before he can fall over, Dreamer picks Matthews up on his shoulders and drops him onto the steel chair with the Spicolli Driver! Dreamer makes the cover. On the outside Cyrus is going crazy. He grabs the hammer from the timekeeper and rings the bell right before the referee counts to three. Cyrus continues to ring the bell::

Joey Styles: What is Cyrus doing!?

Chase Cassidy: Well Joseph, he's ringing the bell!

Joey Styles: I know that Chase! Nevermind...

::Cyrus grabs a microphone as Joey Matthews and Christian York slide out of the ring, grabbing their tag team titles. Tommy Dreamer and Stevie Richards are furious in the ring. The members of the Office back up onto the stage before Cyrus brings the microphone to his mouth::

Cyrus: Well boys, what a shame! The time limit has expired! Therefore...still your ECW Tag Team Champions, representing the Office...Christian York and Joey Matthews!

::Dreamer and Richards can't believe it as Cyrus, Matthews, and York disappear through the curtains. A huge "Cyrus Sucks!" chant breaks out::

Joey Styles: What the hell is wrong with Cyrus! He just screwed Richards and Tommy Dreamer out of the Tag Team Titles!! I can't believe this!

Chase Cassidy: Gee, tough break for Dreamer and Richards. Luck just isn't on their side tonight. The time limit expired. Shucks.

Joey Styles: You make me sick Chase!

::Dreamer and Richards look at each other in the ring, then run to the back::

Joey Styles: Looks like Tommy and Stevie are going to get some revenge!!

::Backstage...the Impact Players’ locker room::

Lance Storm: Shannon Moore...Shane Helms...how brave of you two to extend a challenge to us. How brave of you two talentless imbeciles to challenge us to a match at Heat Wave..and a dueling chairs match at that! Well, as much as we’d enjoy making you both modern day martyrs...

Justin Credible: Sorry, we don’t accept your challenge. You see, the Impact Players play by no rules but our own. We answer to no one and we don’t let others make rules for us. As much as we’d love to beat your two to bloody pulps on pay per view, the answer is still no. Now...that’s not just the coolest! That’s not just the best!

Lance Storm: That’s from Calgary...Alberta, Canada...

Justin Credible: That my friends...is JUST INCREDIBLE!

::Back to the announce position::

Joey Styles: What? I can’t believe they declined that challenge from Moore and Helms! The Impact Players are nothing but cowards!

Chase Cassidy: Did you listen to a word they said Chase? They play by their own rules...of course they’re not going to let someone else dictate their matches!

Joey Styles: Whatever the case may be, our main event is about to begin. Our wonderful Commissioner Cyrus made this handicapped double tables match. What a jerk Cyrus is! Do you know what this means? This means that Raven has to put both Christian AND Rhino through TWO TABLES each!

Chase Cassidy: Hence the term double tables Styles...

::"Come Out And Play" by the Offspring hits and the crowd goes crazy. ECW World Champion Raven comes out on stage and gives the sign of the crucifix. He makes his way down the aisle and slaps the hands of the fans. He slides into the ring and poses as flashbulbs go off all over the arena::

Joey Styles: Our World Champion Raven coming to the ring firs--wa...wait a minute. Hold on, we've got to go backstage, I'm getting word that Dreamer and Richards are catching up with Matthews and York!

::A limo is seen in the parking lot. Tommy Dreamer and Stevie Richards burst through a set of doors into the parking lot. Cyrus appears out of the sunroof and waves at the two. All of a sudden, Christian York and attacks Richards from behind with a trash can. Matthews attacks Dreamer with rights and lefts as York sets the trashcan down. The two of them double powerbomb Dreamer onto the trashcan, then nail Richards with a double implant ddt on the concrete. They hurry into the limo which drives off into the night::

Chase Cassidy: oW oW! Look at them go!!

Joey Styles: You're a sick, sick man Chase. First Cyrus screws Dreamer and Richards out of the Tag Team Titles...then Matthews and York viciously attack them from behind and run off in that limo! Someone get out there to help them...quick!!

::"Debonaire" by Dope hits and the tag team of Christian and Rhino come out on stage to a chorus of boos. They walk down the aisle and get into the ring quickly. Rhino goes to attack Raven first, but Raven blocks his punches. Raven fires back with punches of his own and throws Rhino out of the ring. Christian hooks Raven from behind and drops him with a reverse inverted ddt. Christian chokes Raven on the mat while Rhino slides a table into the ring. Christian props it up in the corner of the ring and pulls Raven up. He quickly whips Raven into the corner. Raven bounces off the turnbuckles and Christian hooks him for a bulldog. He bounces his feet off the top rope and goes for the bulldog, but Raven throws him over the top rope and through the timekeeper's table! The crowd chants "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!". Raven stumbles infront of the table that Christian propped up as Rhino gets in the ring. Rhino sets up for the gore, but Raven moves out of the way and catches Rhino with a drop toe hold. Rhino crashes headfirst through the table! "E-C-DUB!"::

Joey Styles: I can't believe it! So far Raven is doing extemely well for himself! He's put Rhino and Christian both through tables already!

Chase Cassidy: Pfft! BOO!

Joey Styles: That's nice Chase. Now Raven has to put both his opponents through another table each and it'll be over.

Chase Cassidy: He doesn't stand a chance!

::Raven slides to the outside and sets a table up next to the ring apron. He grabs two more tables and takes them into the ring with him. He props one up in another corner and sets the other one up in the middle of the ring. He grabs Rhino by the hair and rams him headfirst into the table nine times. Before the tenth time, Christian rolls into the ring and attacks Raven. He bounces Raven off the ropes and catches him with a powerslam. He pulls Raven up and signals for a powerbomb through the table. Raven reverses it and backbody drops Christian. Christian completely misses the table and nails the canvas. Raven turns around and Rhino picks him up, then nails a standing gore through the table propped up in the corner!::

Chase Cassidy: Rhino with a gore right through the table! What a gore! GORE! GORE! GORE! oW oW! Rhino IS the man-beast!

Joey Styles: The match isn't over yet though folks. They still need to put Raven through one more table...and Raven has to put Rhino and Christian each through a table. If anyone could do it, it's our champion Raven.

Chase Cassidy: Pish posh Joseph!

::Christian grabs a chair and brings it back in the ring with him. Rhino is already stomping the hell out of Raven and Christian looks to join the party. Christian brings the chair down across the chest of Raven as Rhino continues the stomping. Christian tells Rhino something and Rhino pulls Raven up. He whips him off the ropes and Christian nails him with a vicious chairshot! Raven stays on his feet and Christian wraps the chair around his head again::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! Somebody stop this! Look at him! Raven is busted wide open from those brutal chairshots! This is just what Cyrus wanted!

Chase Cassidy: I think you're right for once Styles...miracles do happen folks, they can happen to you.

Joey Styles: Shut up Chase!

::Christian pulls Raven up once again and backs him into the corner. Christian holds the chair in front of Raven and Rhino bolts across the ring. He gores the chair right into Raven's chest!! Raven falls to the mat and lies there motionless. Rhino mounts Raven and starts punching the hell out of him. The referee grabs Rhino's arm stopping him. Rhino is furious! He gets up and goes the hell out of the referee!! He then points to the table in the middle of the ring and pulls Raven up by the hair. He's about to put Raven through the chair, when out of the crowd...::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOOOOOOOD!! What the hell is he doing here!? OH MY GOD! I can't believe my eyes!

Chase Cassidy: Is that who I think it is!? Jeebus pete!

Joey Styles: It's...that's...that's Mike Awesome! What is he doing here!? He's supposed to be in the WWF!

::"Holy Shit! Holy Shit!" chants erupt in the crowd. Mike Awesome slides into the ring. Rhino and Christian can't believe their eyes. Awesome takes Rhino's head off with a stiff clothesline. Christian goes for a punch, but Awesome blocks it. Mike Awesome hits Christian with a couple punches of his own then kicks him in the gut. Mike Awesome picks Christian up and Awesomebombs him over the top rope. Christian flies through the air and crashes through the table Raven set up earlier! Mike Awesome turns around and whips Rhino off the ropes. Rhino runs back and Raven back body drops him through the table in the ring! Mike Awesome wakes the referee up. The ref sees both Christian and Rhino in table wreckage and calls for the bell!::

Chase Cassidy: What!? NO! NO WAY! This is not fair!

Joey Styles: Raven has done it! Raven wins the double tables match against all odds with the help of Mike Awesome! What the hell is Mike Awesome doing here!? He's under WWF contract! What a night! We'll see you next week on Hardcore TV!! What a night!

::Mike Awesome raises the hand of Raven and the fans chant "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" as the screen fades to black::

Hardcore TV Episode 7!
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