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::The ECW logo appears on the screen, then quickly fades to a live camera shot of X-Pac walking down the hall. He turns the corner and walks right into Cyrus' office without knocking. Cyrus, obviously startled, jumps to his feet and tries to regain his composure. X-Pac grins from ear to ear as he pulls a leather armchair up close to Cyrus' desk. Pac nonchalantly brings his feet up and rests them on Cyrus' desk::
X-Pac: You rang?
Cyrus: Waltman, Waltman, Waltman...Tremendous, just tremendous. Your talent, that is...tremendous.
::Cyrus looks uncomfortable::
X-Pac: Cut the crap Cyrus. You called me down here, let's get this over with. What the hell do you want?
Cyrus: Last week I put Raven in a handicapped double tables match, and I made it a handicapped match for a reason. No one, and I mean NO ONE, treats Commissioner Cyrus like Raven did at Barely Legal. I’m with the Office you know! But instead of Raven getting beaten from limb to limb and losing, Mr. Hero Mike Awesome comes out of nowhere and saves Raven. This kind of thing will not be tolerated, not while I'm the Commissioner!
X-Pac: And...
Cyrus: And this is where you come into play. You've been bothering me the last few weeks about not being on television and this and that and blah blah blah...
X-Pac: Blah blah blah?
Cyrus: Well, that's probably not the best way to put it, but you get the picture. Anyway, tonight, I'm giving you EXACTLY what you want! You're going to get exposure, television time for you!
X-Pac: Tremendous...
Cyrus: Are you mocking me?
X-Pac: No, I would never...
::X-Pac grins::
Cyrus: Good, well tonight you're going to go one on one with Mike Awesome! You're going to do to him what was supposed to happen to Raven last week. Beat him within an ounce of his life! No one tries to screw Cyrus over! I'll show him!
X-Pac: Forget it Cyrus.
Cyrus: WHAT!?
X-Pac: Forget it, I'm not going to fight Mike Awesome just because you got what was coming to you, no way. Do your own bidding Cyrus.
::X-Pac gets up and is about to leave::
Cyrus: WALTMAN! Don't you dare walk out of this office! If you don't go out there and do what I asked of you, I'll suspended you indefinitely...WITHOUT PAY! You'll be off t.v. and you'll be broke too! Think about it Waltman...I’m with the Office! I have the brass you know! Oh, and good luck with your match. Goodbye!
::Cyrus smiles evilly as he shoos X-Pac out the door::
Joey Styles: Oh, that's despicable!
Chase Cassidy: What!?
Joey Styles: Cyrus is making X-Pac do his dirty work!
Chase Cassidy: Did X-Pac NOT want television time!?
Joey Styles: You're despicable too Chase...
Chase Cassidy: Your mom's despicable! Mhmm!
Joey Styles: Hello everyone and welcome to Extreme Championship Wrestling! I'm Joey Styles...
Chase Cassidy: And I am your party host, your paragon of virtue, the chocolate in your milk, the Jesus in your--
Joey Styles: He's Chase Cassidy.
Chase Cassidy: Excuse me! I'm Chase Cassidy! Woohah! oW oW!
::"X-PAAAAAC!" X-Pac's music hits and he walks through the curtains to a nice ovation. He walks straight to the ring and slides in::
Joey Styles: I can't believe Cyrus is doing this.
Chase Cassidy: You should be happy for X-Pac Joseph! He wanted some exposure, and Cyrus has granted him television time here tonight! Cyrus is a great guy!
::"The Zoo" by Bruce Dickinson hits and Mike Awesome steps onto the stage to a nice pop. He raises his arms in the air for the fans to cheer before he runs down the aisle. He slides in the ring and poses for the fans again. The bell rings and Awesome challenges X-Pac to a test of strength. X-Pac shakes his head no. Awesome grabs X-Pac and whips him off the ropes. He nails X-Pac with a right hand, knocking him to the mat. Awesome makes the cover...1...2...3!::
Chase Cassidy: ..What...was that?
::The bell rings again and X-Pac gets to his feet quickly with a smile on his face. Mike Awesome looks stunned, and then smiles as he and X-Pac shake hands. X-Pac raises Mike Awesome's arm in the air::
Joey Styles: Is this what I think it is!?
Chase Cassidy: I can't believe it!
Joey Styles: X-Pac just laid down for Mike Awesome! Cyrus isn't going to be happy about this...
Chase Cassidy: Oooo! Ummmm!!! I'm telling Cyrus!
Joey Styles: I'm sure he saw it Chase--
Voice: EXCUSE ME! EXCUUUUUUSE ME!
Joey Styles: See?
::The fans boo as Cyrus steps through the curtains with his lackeys Christian York and Joey Matthews at each side::
Cyrus: Tremendous...just TREMENDOUS! Nice try Waltman...very clever of you! You're going to regret this! No one screws Commissioner Cyrus over! I'm with the Office you know! In fact, remember what I said to you before you left my office?
::X-Pac gives a crotch chop in Cyrus' direction::
Cyrus: You know what? That's it! I'm the Commissioner! I'm with the Office! I have the brass! And Waltman...YOU'RE FIRED! No one messes with me and gets away with it! Get your bags and join your buddies in the unemployment line!
::Cyrus, York, and Matthews leave as the fans chant, "Cyrus Sucks! Cyrus Sucks!"::
Chase Cassidy: Yeah! No one tries to screw Cyrus over! Bye bye X-Pac! Cyrus sure showed him, didn't he Joseph?
Joey Styles: I'd like to say that Cyrus got what he deserved, but he just fired X-Pac and deserves more than he got. I guess we won't be seeing X-Pac on this program ever again.
Chase Cassidy: Good riddance!
::Backstage...the camera gets a close up on a piece of paper on a clipboard. A hand with a pen appears and signs on the dotted line near the bottom of the contract. The camera zooms in, the signature reads, "Jerry Lynn". The camera pans back and we see Jerry Lynn as he enters Cyrus' office. The office is empty, the other Office members being elsewhere. Lynn puts the contract on Cyrus' desk and sits down::
Jerry Lynn: My new home...
::Jerry looks around the Office and smiles::
Jerry Lynn: It's about damn time. You know, I don't know why it took me so long to realize...to realize that everything I stood for before was complete crap. "Jerry Lynn loves the fans!"..."Jerry Lynn does it for the fans and the love of the sport"...What a crock! The fans? THE FANS!? What did the fans ever do for me!? Nothing, nothing AT ALL! They always say the fans appreciate what wrestlers do, but that's a lie too. The "fans" don't appreciate anything. I used to go out there, night in, night out and bust my ass, and for what? What'd I get out of it? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Year after year I put my body through hell for the fans and what do the fans do? They chant "You f*cked Up!" when you slip on the floor because they spilled their beer all over it. Appreciation...appreciation my ass.
::Lynn shakes his head in disgust while looking at his Intercontinental Championship Belt. He gently taps on the gold...::
Jerry Lynn: Kind of ironic isn't it? I mean, the same time I give up on the fans just like they did on me, I win the Intercontinental Title. I'm the Intercontinental Champion, Jerry Lynn! So everyone is wondering why I've joined forces with Cyrus and his Office? People are so blind. Why wouldn't I join the Office? I'm the IC Champ now, I get a pay raise, and I work with the Commissioner. The fans would do the same thing if the opportunity was to arise, but of course they wouldn't admit that, the hypocrites that they are. Things are finally going my way, and I owe it all to me. Me, not the fans, not anyone else...ME.
::Lynn points to the contract he put on Cyrus' desk::
Jerry Lynn: You see that? Not only does that confirm my alliance with the Office, but it also confirms a match for me later tonight. I'm the Intercontinental Champion, and after tonight I'll be the ECW World Champion as well. Cyrus has given me a shot at Raven and his championship as a reward of sorts for aligning myself with the Office. Things are going my way finally, and I'll be a double champion by the end of the night. The best part is...the fans have nothing to do with it...and they can't do anything about it either! Things are going my way...my way...
::Cyrus and the members of the Office walk in furiously. Cyrus sees Jerry Lynn sitting there and he lightens up a little. The Office members shake hand with their newest colleague::
Cyrus: Welcome to the Office, Jerry!
Jerry Lynn: Things are going my way...
::Jerry Lynn and the rest of the Office settle in as the camera fades::
Chase Cassidy: Things are going his way! oW oW! That's right Jerry! What an addition to the Office!
Joey Styles: Chase, you have an extremely warped sense of reality. What is wrong with Jerry Lynn? He's turned his back on the fans! He really is a changed man, and I can't say I like the new Jerry Lynn--
Chase Cassidy: He's the whole f'n show!
Joey Styles: Thank you Chase. As I was about to say, I think Cyrus has a lot to do with this sudden change. Cyrus has gotten into Jerry Lynn's head...
Chase Cassidy: Maybe...and look at Jerry now! He's the Intercontinental Champion--
Joey Styles: Thanks to Rhino...
Chase Cassidy: And he'll be the ECW World Champion after tonight!
Joey Styles: I guess it is a possibility, Jerry Lynn is a talented performer, whether you like him or not.
Chase Cassidy: And I do like him! oW oW!
::"A Certain Shade of Green" by Incubus hits and the fans go crazy. Shane Helms and Shannon Moore burst through the curtains to an extraordinary ovation. They run down the aisle slapping the hands of the fans, Helms on one side, Moore on the other. They get in the ring and pose on opposite turnbuckles::
Chase Cassidy: Snoooooore..oh, excuse me. Sorry about that.
Joey Styles: Funny, Chase. Shane Helms and Shannon Moore are obviously fan favorites here in ECW. Both are young talents looking to move up the ranks in the wrestling world.
Chase Cassidy: Well, I guess that sucks for them then, these two are going nowhere!
Joey Styles: The positive comments of Chase Cassidy ladies and gentlemen...
Chase Cassidy: Hey Joseph! That was almost funny! The key word there being ALMOST. Oo dang! Bus!
Joey Styles: Bus? I don't even want to know.
::"Dogtooth Violet" by Big Mother Thruster blares through the speakers and Josh Mathews steps through the curtains with Taylor Matheny by his side. Josh raises his hands in the air for the fans as Psicosis steps through the curtains. Psicosis walks right back Josh and Taylor, down the stairs, and towards the ring. Josh watches Psicosis and shakes his head. Josh and Taylor make their way to the ring::
Joey Styles: Psicosis is a great wrestler, we've seen him in many spectacular matches in ECW, but lately his attitude has been getting the better of him.
Chase Cassidy: What attitude? Kidding! Even I notice his attitude--
Joey Styles: Wow, you know that's bad...
Chase Cassidy: Psicosis just needs to keep his head in the game is all. I think he'll really start turning some heads soon...
Joey Styles: ECW owner, Paul Heyman, has made it so that the winners of this match will face off at ECW Guilty As Charged, for the Cruiserweight Title!
Chase Cassidy: Heyman...pisshaw...always has to throw his weight around, doesn't he?
Joey Styles: He's the owner of the company Chase, what do you expect him to do!? Sit back and let Cyrus ruin EVERYTHING?
Chase Cassidy: Well...kind of...yeah.
::Josh Mathews and Shane Helms start the match off. Helms whips Josh off the ropes and goes for a hiptoss, but Josh blocks it. He grabs Helms' arm and twists it around, wrenching away. Helms sommersaults to the mat, does a kip up, and throws Mathews with an armdrag. Josh gets up and bolts towards Shane who sidesteps him. Josh bounces off the ropes and catches Helms with a flying headscissors. Helms gets up and Josh hits a beautiful dropkick. Mathews goes to the top rope as Shane Helms is getting up. He flies off the top with a huge crossbody onto Helms. 1...2...Helms kicks out. Both men get up and Josh nails a quick hurricanrana. Josh tags is Psicosis who springs over the top and lands a legdrop on Helms. 1...2...Shane Helms kicks out again. Psicosis bounces off the middle rope and moonsaults back towards Helms. Helms moves out of the way and Psicosis lands on his feet. Helms whips Psicosis off the ropes. Psicosis comes back and Helms swings at him. Psicosis catches Helms and hooks on a full nelson. He lifts Shane over his head and nails a Tiger Suplex. Instead of covering Shane, Psicosis yells at the fans in the crowd::
Joey Styles: Psicosis probably could have Shane Helms here, but he's not making the cover!
Chase Cassidy: I think that fat boy in the front row called Psicosis a bean.
Joey Styles: Knock is off Chase!
Chase Cassidy: What!?
Joey Styles: Psicosis is finally making the cover!
Chase Cassidy: One...two...
Joey Styles: And Shane Helms kicked out. Psicosis would have had him--
Chase Cassidy: Woulda, coulda, shoulda...when will you learn Joseph?
::Psicosis rolls out of the ring and brings a chair back in with him. He lays it on the mat and lifts Shane Helms up for a suplex. Psicosis quickly jerks downward and drops Helms right on the chair with a brainbuster! Again, Psicosis hesitates before making the cover, Josh Mathews yelling at him from the corner. Psicosis flips Josh off and makes the cover. 1...2...Shannon Moore breaks the count. The referee get Shannon Moore back in his corner as Psicosis goes to work on Helms with the chair. He continually drives the chair into Helms' shoulder. He pulls Shane up and hits a shoulder breaker. Psicosis goes to tag in Josh Mathews, but pulls his hand away before Josh can tag in. The fans boo and Psicosis screams, "WHAT!?" Psicosis lays the chair on Helms' shoulder and goes to the top rope. He flies off and nails the guillotine legdrop. Psicosis makes the cover...1...2...Shannon Moore breaks the count with a corkscrew legdrop off the top rope. The referee again pushes Moore back into his corner. Psicosis and Helms get to their feet and Psicosis whips Helms off the ropes. Helms ducks a clothesline from Psicosis. Psicosis turns around and Shane nails him with the Sugar Smack!::
Joey Styles: Both men are down!
Chase Cassidy: Thank you Captain Obvious! Are you going to tell us that they both need to make the tag too?
Joey Styles: Actually, both Shane Helms and Psicosis are in need of a tag. Shane Helms is right by Shannon Moore, if he'd just tag out.
::Shane Helms pulls himself to his feet and Shannon Moore tags himself in. Moore springboards off the top rope and catches Psicosis with a spinning hurricanrana. Josh Mathews gets in the ring and Moore kicks him in the gut. Moore bounces off the rope and takes Mathews to the mat with a rollover neckbreaker. Shannon jumps to the top turnbuckle and flies backwards with a corkscrew moonsault, the Halo, taking out Psicosis. Moore quickly nails the Bottoms Up on Josh who rolls out of the ring towards Taylor. Psicosis pulls himself to his feet. Shannon hooks him for a suplex, lifts his feet up, running along the top rope in the corner, plants his feet on the mat, and takes Psicosis over with a hard suplex!::
Joey Styles: That's the tornado suplex! Shannon Moore with the cover!!
Chase Cassidy: One!
Joey Styles: Two!
Chase Cassidy: What!?
Joey Styles: Oh no...NOT AGAIN! This is horrible!
::Lance Storm pulls the referee out of the ring before he can make the three count. He throws him into the guard rail before he and Credible get in the ring, armed with chairs. Credible nails Moore with a chairshot while Shane Helms gets to his feet. Storm tosses the chair to Helms, then superkicks it into his face. Psicosis gets up and tries to attack the Impact Players. Credible pushes him off then cracks his skull with the chair, knocking Psicosis out of the ring. Josh Mathews springs off the top rope and lands on Lance Storm's shoulders for a hurricanrana. Storm catches him, and the Impact Players double powerbomb Josh on a chair. They throw him out of the ring towards Taylor while laughing at her. Shannon Moore gets to his knees only to receive a chairshot across the back from Credible. Credible holds Shannon up with a chair allowing Storm to superkick the chair into his face. The Impact Players pose with their chairs over the fallen bodies of Helms and Moore before they head to the back::
Joey Styles: Yet another determining match in the crowning of a Cruiserweight Champion destroyed by the Impact Players!
Chase Cassidy: Oh waaah! No one cares about the Cruiserweight Championship in the first place!
Joey Styles: The Impact Players are just jealous because in all of this chaos, the Cruisers are getting more television time than themselves. They think like you Chase--
Chase Cassidy: oW oW!
Joey Styles: They think no one cares about the Cruisers, which is not true in the least. So while the Impact Players keep attacking them, it only gives the Cruiserweights more exposure because we can't even crown the champion! Oh...and what is this all about?
::Jamie Knoble along with Ivory make their way to ringside where Josh is being tended to by Taylor. Taylor sees Knoble and Ivory, but doesn't move from trying to help Josh. Knoble grabs her by the hair, laughing hysterically, then whips her towards Ivory. Ivory clotheslines her down to the cement floor. Jamie Knoble pulls Josh to his feet by his hair, spits in his face, then shoves him back down to the floor::
Joey Styles: Oh this is disgusting! Jamie Knoble and Ivory are just like vultures! They come out and attack Josh and Taylor after what has just happened...this is sick...this is just sick...what kind of people are Knoble and Ivory!?
Chase Cassidy: The kind who are wise to take the opportunities that they get and run with them!
Joey Styles: Again, you and your warped sense of reality...
::Backstage...Dawn Marie is standing by with Mike Awesome::
Dawn Marie: Hi, I'm Dawn Marie!
Mike Awesome: Mike Awesome, nice to meet you...
::Awesome extends his hand to shake, but Dawn Marie is too busy facing the camera and smacking her lips::
Mike Awesome: Okay so...
Dawn Marie: Oh yeah, last week you came out!
::Awesome mutters to Dawn Marie to read the entire cue card...::
Dawn Marie: Oh, you came out and helped Raven!
::Bouncing and giggling from Dawn occurs::
Mike Awesome: You're right Dawn, and you know why?
::Dawn turns her back to the camera and looks over her shoulder seductively, striking a pose::
Mike Awesome: Yeah, I came back here to ECW for two reasons. First, I'm just AWESOME! And second, because as I was sitting at home on my ass waiting for the WWF to call me up, I turned to watch ECW Hardcore TV. What I saw disgusted me. I saw Christian on whining and complaining and ruining the show! I thought to myself, "This show would be much more...AWESOME...if someone would just kick Christian's ass once and for all!" Christian is just a little crybaby who's upset because he's just not...AWESOME. So I got out of my WWF contract and came back to my home here in ECW. Raven and I were once ECW Tag Champs you know, and I couldn't just sit back and watch him get beaten up by Rhino and Christian. So I helped him out a little, and made Christian look like a fool in the process! Christian, if you're watching this, I've got one thing to say to you and I hope you remember it...I'm...just...AWESOME!
::Dawn Marie still is paying no attention as Mike Awesome leaves the interview station::
Chase Cassidy: Joseph, do you know what's next!?
Joey Styles: Yes, Kurt An--
Chase Cassidy: My Olympic Hero! oW oW!
Joey Styles: ...is going one on one with the Insane Luchador, Super Crazy!
Chase Cassidy: Who?
Joey Styles: Shut up Chase, you know who Super Crazy is.
Chase Cassidy: I know, but he's a nobody compared to my Olympic Hero Kurt Angle!
Joey Styles: Earlier today, Paul Heyman added a little stipulation to this match...
Chase Cassidy: WHAT!? No! He can't do that! That's unfair!
Joey Styles: You heard me, ECW Owner and President Paul Heyman has made this match a Mexican Deathmatch!
::Trumpets blare and every fan in the arena immediately begins to boo. Kurt Angle steps out onto the stage wearing WWF attire as usual. He has the WWF logo t-shirt on, along with a pair of The Rock sunglasses shielding his eyes. Angle walks down the aisle covering his ears as the crowd starts to chant "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" He steps into the ring and snatches the microphone away from the ring announcer::
Kurt Angle: Shut up, all of you! This is no way to treat your Olympic Hero! If you people would just shut up I'd get to the point. Earlier today something horrible happened...something so horrendous, no one should have to deal with it! When I got to this filthy arena, Paul Heyman comes up to me and tells me that my match is now a Mexican Deathmatch, oh it's true! It's damn true! Now, I realize that Paul Heyman is jealous of me because I spread the good word of the WWF, but that's no reason to treat an Olympic Gold Medalist that way! I mean, come on! What kind of Gold Medalist is forced to compete in a "Deathmatch"? Do you think they have Deathmatches in the Olympics? I DON'T THINK SO! So with that being said, your Olympic Hero refuses to participate in this match. I'm a wrestler...A WRESTLER...I WRESTLE. Olympic Gold Medalists don't do Deathmatches! The WWF doesn't do Deathmatches. You know why? Because WWF is all about wrestling, not this extreme crap here! It's true, it's damn true!
::The fans chant "E-C-DUB!" some more. Cyrus' music hits and the chants quickly turn into more boos. Cyrus comes out with Joey Matthews and Christian York behind him::
Joey Styles: Oh great...
Chase Cassidy: You're right Joseph! This is great! My Olympic Hero AND the brilliant commissioner, Cyrus, are out here at the same time!
Joey Styles: Chase, has your wet dream from last night just come true?
Chase Cassidy: Joseph! Dirty!
::Cyrus pulls a microphone out of his sports coat as the boos begin to die down::
Cyrus: You know what Kurt? You're right! I completely agree! Paul Heyman is just jealous of everything you stand for! That's the only reason he made that stipulation! Paul Heyman is completely abusing his power, and as the Commissioner of ECW, I'm revoking his stipulation...I'm with the Office, I have the brass!
::The fans boo Cyrus and Angle until "Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors hits. Super Crazy bursts through the curtains startling Cyrus and his lackeys. Super Crazy stares Cyrus down, then continues walking. The Office members soon disappear through the curtains. Super Crazy hops up onto the ring apron and climbs to the second turnbuckle as the fans cheer him on. He hops up onto the top rope and does a backflip into the ring. Kurt Angle walks over to him still holding his microphone::
Kurt Angle: Now, Super Crazy, if that is your real name...I know you don't speak the language here, so I'll make this as simple as I can. I realize, as you do, that since this match is not a Mexican Deathmatch anymore that you just can't possibly win. Comprende, esse?
::Super Crazy glares at Kurt Angle::
Joey Styles: This is ridiculous, Super Crazy understands English perfectly fine!
Chase Cassidy: Shh! My Olympic Hero is trying to speak!
Kurt Angle: So, Mr. Crazy, I'll give you this one chance. That's uno in Mexican you know...it's true!
Chase Cassidy: Oh my Jesus! Kurt Angle is bilingual! He speaks Mexican too!
Joey Styles: Chase, Mexican isn't a language!
Chase Cassidy: Your mom!
Kurt Angle: I'll give you this one chance to turn around and head to the back. Go ahead, I'll spare you the humiliation, it's true, it's true!
Chase Cassidy: Look at how generous Kurt Angle is! What a guy!
Joey Styles: I think those Rock sunglasses must be cutting off the circulation to the top half of Angle's brain...
Chase Cassidy: Don't be jealous because you couldn't possibly pull those glasses off like Angle is now.
::Kurt Angle waits for a response from Super Crazy. Finally, Super Crazy nods his head and agrees with Angle. Angle grins from ear to ear and extends his hand to Super Crazy. Crazy is a bit hesitant but finally shakes Angle's hand. The fans boo as Super Crazy turns around and walks towards the ropes to leave the ring. Suddenly, Super Crazy turns around and quickly nails Angle with a huge right hand. Kurt Angle's Rock sunglasses fly off his head and into the crowd. Super Crazy backs Angle into the corner with a series of lefts and rights. Crazy whips Angle across the ring into the opposite corner. Super Crazy dashes across the ring, hops onto Kurt Angle, and throws him across the ring with a huge monkey flip. Angle gets up and jams his knee into the midsection of Super Crazy. Angle grabs Super Crazy's arm and twists it around. Super Crazy clutches at his shoulder in pain. Crazy rolls out of the hold, nails a kip up, and takes Angle down with an arm drag. Angle gets to his feet and Crazy throws him with another arm drag. This time Kurt Angle stays on his knees and begs Super Crazy off. Super Crazy looks to the crowd for support and Angle goes for a clothesline. Super Crazy ducks and bounces off the ropes. He runs back and Angle throws him with a belly to belly. Super Crazy lands on his feet. He bounces off the second rope, turns in midair towards Kurt, but Kurt ducks. Crazy tucks as he nears the mat and rolls through to his feet. Crazy turns around and Angle meets him with a boot to the stomach. Kurt Angle goes for the Olympic Slam but Crazy gets off his shoulders. Super Crazy goes for the Azteca powerbomb, but Angle back body drops him over the top rope to the concrete floor::
Joey Styles: What a competitive match! Both men going for their finishers, but Angle manages to throw Super Crazy to the outside.
Chase Cassidy: I still can’t believe the audacity of Super Crazy! I can’t believe he knocked off Kurt Angle’s sunglasses! I’m surprised he didn’t try to steal them!
Joey Styles: CHASE!
::Kurt Angle slides out of the ring and taunts the fans as Super Crazy struggles to get to his feet. Angle charges at Crazy, but Crazy moves and throws Angle over the guardrail. Super Crazy grabs the bell ringer's chair, folds it up, and hurls it at Angle. The chair cracks against Angle's skull and he falls to the floor. Super Crazy pulls the guardrails towards the ring, setting Angle up. Crazy gets onto the apron and springs off the middle rope with an Asai moonsault over the guardrails. He lands on Kurt Angle knocking him to the concrete. The fans quickly start an "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" chant. Super Crazy balances himself on top of a steel guardrail and poses for the fans as they applaud. Kurt Angle lunges at the steel guardrail, crotching Super Crazy on it. Kurt Angle grabs a chair from one of the fans and nails Crazy on his back with it. Crazy falls off the guardrail and onto the floor::
Joey Styles: How ironic is that!? Kurt Angle is always complaining about the extreme style here in ECW, but he hits Super Crazy with a chair at the first chance he gets!
Chase Cassidy: I think you're jealous!
Joey Styles: Of what!?
Chase Cassidy: Mhmm..
Joey Styles: What? What am I jealous of Chase?
Chase Cassidy: Mhmm...your mom...
Joey Styles: I’m jealous of my mom? You’re right, she isn’t here having to sit next to you!
::Kurt Angle climbs back over the guardrail towards the ring. He pulls Super Crazy up and nails a snap suplex on the concrete. Angle pulls Crazy over next to the guardrails. He puts Crazy's left ankle through the bars and wraps it under the bottom. Angle wrenches away at Super Crazy's twisted ankle as Crazy screams in pain. Kurt breaks the hold and starts talking trash to a fan in the front row. Angle then grabs a steel chair and tries to hit Super Crazy's ankle, but Crazy moves out of the way. Kurt Angle drops the chair and falls to the floor as Super Crazy kicks his legs out from under him. Super Crazy climbs over the steel guardrails and disappears into the crowd. Angle gets up looking for Crazy, but can't see him anywhere, so he heads into the crowd as well. Angle soon approaches a stairwell and out of nowhere, Super Crazy appears on the balcony. Before Angle can move, Super Crazy moonsaults off the ten foot overpass and lands on Angle. A huge "Sup-er Cra-zy" clap, clap, clap clap clap, chant breaks out soon after::
Joey Styles: Oh...my...GOD!
Chase Cassidy: Oh no! Someone quick! Check on my Olympic Hero!
Joey Styles: Super Crazy out of nowhere with that awesome moonsault off the balcony! What a move!
Chase Cassidy: Eh, I prefer the sleeper hold to the moonsault...
Joey Styles: You would Chase.
::Super Crazy drags Kurt Angle back into the ring and makes the cover...1...2...Angle kicks out! Crazy gets up and nails a spinning elbowdrop to the throat of Kurt Angle. Crazy brings a table into the ring and sets it upside down in the corner, the side with the legs up. He pulls Angle up and backs him into the corner opposite the table with a few forearms. Super Crazy whips Kurt Angle across the ring, but Angle holds on and pulls Super Crazy in. Angle grabs Crazy and throws him over his head with a belly to belly suplex! Super Crazy goes crashing through the table!::
Joey Styles: Oh my god! Super Crazy just got thrown through that table! He landed right on the metal legs!
Chase Cassidy: See Joseph, that's intelligence. My Olympic Hero knew EXACTLY what Super Crazy was planning and he turned it around on him! Now look who's laughing! Hah!
Joey Styles: You're the only one laughing Chase.
Chase Cassidy: Hah!
::Angle pulls Super Crazy out of the table rubble::
Joey Styles: Kurt Angle with the cover!
Chase Cassidy: ONE! TWO! It's ove--
Joey Styles: NO! Super Crazy kicked out! I don't know how Super Crazy kicked out after being thrown through that table!
::Angle gets up and starts stomping away at Super Crazy's left knee. He grabs Crazy's leg and drops his body weight down on it. Kurt Angle continues to wrench away on Super Crazy's leg, twisting it in all different directions. Angle does a hand stand on Crazy's knee, and brings his own knee down, jamming it into Crazy's. Finally Kurt Angle locks Super Crazy in the Sharpshooter. Super Crazy screams in pain as Angle puts pressure on his legs and lower back. The fans rally behind Super Crazy and he finally makes it to the ropes. The referee tells Angle to break the hold. Finally, the referee breaks the hold himself. Angle is furious and throws the referee through the ropes to the floor. Angle slides out of the ring, then brings two chairs back in with him. He opens one chair and rests Super Crazy's left leg on it. Angle grabs the other chair and smashes it down onto Crazy's knee twice. Angle covers Super Crazy, but there is no referee. Angle pulls Super Crazy up and goes for the Olympic Slam on the open chair. All of a sudden Nova appears on the stage pointing at Angle. Angle is distracted and drops Crazy off his shoulders. He yells towards Nova as the referee pulls himself back into the ring. Angle turns around and Super Crazy nails him with his own Olympic Slam on the open chair! Super Crazy makes the cover!::
Joey Styles: One! Two! Three! I can't believe it!
Chase Cassidy: No! Disqualify Super Crazy! That's illegal! Super Crazy isn't an Olympic Champion and therefore he cannot use the Olympic Slam!
Joey Styles: Nice try Chase. Super Crazy pulls the victory out of nowhere with Kurt Angle's own Olympic Slam onto that steel chair. That must be humiliating!
Chase Cassidy: Super Crazy cheated anyway! Don't you see Nova? Yeah, Nova distracted Kurt Angle. This is a scam! Now what’s Nova going to do? He’s going to attack Angle while he’s down!
::Nova walks to the ring as Super Crazy gets to his feet with the help of the referee after all the abuse on his knee. Nova gets in the ring and then proceeds to help Super Crazy to the back::
::Cyrus' Office...Cyrus is pacing quickly back and forth behind his desk. Christian York is in the office with him trying to calm him down::
Cyrus: I can't believe it! I can't believe it!
Christian York: Calm down...
Cyrus: CALM DOWN!? I can't calm down! I can't believe what Sean Waltman did! No one tries to make a fool of Cyrus like that!
::Suddenly, the door bursts open and in walks Christian::
Christian: I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT!
Cyrus: What?
Christian: I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT!
Cyrus: You know what's right!?
Christian: What you were just saying. I can't believe what Waltman did either! No one tries to make a fool of you like that! I can't believe him! But you know what Cyrus, there's no need to worry, none at all. You see, I've decided that since Mike Awesome has such a problem with me, I'll take it upon myself to make sure that he knows who his daddy is!
Cyrus: Who?
Christian: Me!
Cyrus: You?
Christian: ME! ME! ME! Commissioner Cyrus, I'm not just going to sit back and let Mike Awesome make a fool of us...
Cyrus: Us?
Christian: You and me. You wanted someone to take out Mike Awesome for what he did last week, and you chose X-Pac. Waltman threw one of his little tantrums and then got himself fired, because you have the brass...
Cyrus: I do, I have the brass! I'm with the Office!
Christian: So now both Mike Awesome AND X-Pac have tried to make a fool of you. But Cyrus, I'm not going to let that happen! You wanted someone to take out Mike Awesome, and I'm your man. Give me a match with Mike Awesome at Guilty As Charged, and I'll take care of business. ME! ME! ME!
::Cyrus smirks and nods::
Cyrus: I like your thinking...
::Cyrus then kicks the camera man out of the room::
Joey Styles: What is wrong with Christian!?
Chase Cassidy: What are you talking about? Christian is perfect!
Joey Styles: He's practically signing his own death certificate...he wants a match with Mike Awesome! Is he crazy?
Chase Cassidy: Joseph, Mike Awesome talked about how one of the reasons he came to ECW was because he was sick of Christian. Now, I don't understand how you could ever possibly be sick of Christian, but if you were Christian--
Joey Styles: That would be awful...
Chase Cassidy: AH HEM! If you were Christian, you would want to make Mike Awesome eat his words too!
Joey Styles: That may be, but it seems to me like Christian is just sucking up to Cyrus.
Chase Cassidy: Bubba gum?
Joey Styles: What!?
Chase Cassidy: Fine, I just offered you some gum, but I see how it is.
Joey Styles: Well fans, earlier today we heard from a very different Jerry Lynn, unlike the Lynn we all have grown to love and respect. Jerry Lynn has now aligned himself with Cyrus and his Office, and up next, Jerry Lynn goes face to face with Raven and the ECW title is on the line!
Chase Cassidy: *pop*
::A short video package is shown which includes clips of Lynn joining the Office, and Cyrus saying that he's going to make Raven's life a living hell while he's the champion::
::"Come Out and Play" by the Offspring hits and the fans go crazy. Francine comes out, then motions towards the back as ECW Champion Raven hits the stage. Chants of "Raven! Raven!" fill the arena as smoke diffuses through the air. Raven and Francine move towards the ring, slapping the hands of the fans on the way. Raven rolls into the ring as Francine steps through the ropes. Raven poses on the middle turnbuckle and the fans show their appreciation::
Chase Cassidy: I don't get it. Why do these fans practically worship Raven? What is it about some manic depressive "tortured soul" that people like?
Joey Styles: The fans appreciate Raven because of what he's done for this company Chase. You wouldn't know it, but many years ago, Raven carried this company on his back. Raven is a great champion, he goes to the ring week in, week out and give it his all, no matter his opponent. Whether you respect Raven or not Chase, the fans do.
Chase Cassidy: Pisshaw!
Joey Styles: ...what?
::Raven's music is suddenly cut short and Cyrus' voice fills the arena. "Excuse me! EXCUUUUSE MEE!" are the infamous words heard, then "What I've Wanted To Say" by Far blasts through the speakers. ECW Intercontinental Champion, Jerry Lynn, steps through the curtains with Cyrus by his side. "You Sold Out! You Sold Out!" chants are directed towards Lynn::
Joey Styles: The fans are getting all over Jerry Lynn here tonight. His decision to turn his back on the fans and join Cyrus and the Office sure isn't a popular one.
Chase Cassidy: Turn his back on the fans? Please! The fans turned their back on him!
Joey Styles: How so Chase?
Chase Cassidy: AINTCHU MY MOMMA!
Joey Styles: Thank god...
::Jerry Lynn slowly makes his way to the ring accompanied by Commissioner Cyrus. Cyrus makes the referee keep Raven on the opposite side of the ring so Jerry Lynn can get in safely. The referee holds the ECW World Title in the air for all to see and the bell rings. Jerry Lynn and Raven circle each other a couple of times. Jerry Lynn raies his right hand in the air calling for a test of strength. Right as Raven goes to lock hands with Lynn, Lynn quickly turns his back and walk away. Cyrus cheers him on from the outside and the fans do the exact opposite. Raven and Lynn circle each other once again. They go for a collar and elbow tie-up, but Jerry Lynn knees Raven in the gut instead of hooking up. He grabs Raven by the hair and throws him to the mat laughing. Lynn pulls Raven up to his knees by his hair, then slaps him across the face to tremendous heat from the fans. Raven finally gets to his feet and the two circle each other again. They go for another collar and elbow tie-up, but this time Raven ducks under Lynn's arms. He nails Lynn from behind with a huge forearm to the back of the neck. Lynn turns around and Raven whips him off the ropes. He kicks Lynn in the stomach double him over. Raven bounces off the ropes and takes Jerry Lynn down with a spinning neckbreaker. Jerry Lynn quickly rolls out of the ring towards Cyrus to recuperate. Raven bounces off the ropes then catches Lynn with a huge baseball slide. Jerry Lynn collides with Cyrus to a huge pop and they both fall to the concrete::
Chase Cassidy: Oh my god! What kind of a World Champion do we have!? He just assaulted the Commissioner!
Joey Styles: And that's a bad thing? The fans sure liked it!
Chase Cassidy: The fans are idiots! Fat, smelly, idiots!
Joey Styles: Well why don't you just go check on Cyrus since you're so concerned?
Chase Cassidy: Well...erm...I would, but I don't want Raven to attack me. He seems to enjoy beating up people who aren't wrestlers!
Joey Styles: You have a wrestling background Chase, I'm sure you could handle it...
Chase Cassidy: I...can't...HEAR YOU!
Joey Styles: Well then maybe you should take your fingers out of your ears!
::Raven whips Jerry Lynn into the steel guard rails and nails a huge clothesline. He follows it up with a bulldog on the cement floor. Raven rolls Lynn into the ring and goes for the cover...1...2...no! Cyrus puts Jerry Lynn's foot on the ropes. Raven gets out of the ring and starts to chase Cyrus. Cyrus turns the corner and WHAM! Francine nails him with a spear much to the delight of the fans! Francine mounts Cyrus and starts punching away::
Joey Styles: CAAAAAAT FIIIIIIIGHT!!
::Raven rolls back in the ring and Jerry Lynn hits him with a dropkick. Raven falls neck-first onto the middle rope. Jerry Lynn springs over the top rope and lands on Raven with a legdrop. He rolls back in and makes the cover...1...2...Raven kicks out! Lynn goes to the top turnbuckle and waits for Raven. Raven gets up and Lynn drives his head into the mat with a tornado ddt! Cyrus, finally free of Francine, tells Lynn to go for the cover, but Lynn shakes his head. The fans start chanting "Jerry Sucks! Jerry Sucks!" as Lynn pulls Raven to his feet. Jerry Lynn lifts Raven up for the cradle piledriver, but Raven reverses into a back body drop. Jerry Lynn gets up and Raven knocks him down with a stiff clothesline. Lynn gets up again and Raven nails another clothesline. Once again Jerry Lynn gets up and Raven goes for another clothesline. Lynn ducks it this time and bounces off the ropes. Raven runs at him and knocks him to the mat with a kneelift to the face. Raven backs himself into the corner and pulls a hankerchief out of his back pocket. He blows his nose loudly into the hankerchief. Jerry Lynn stumbles to his feet and Raven covers his face with the used hankerchief! The fans go crazy!::
Joey Styles: Raven just got Jerry Lynn with...the SNOTRAG!!
Chase Cassidy: Oh! That's disgusting! I'm ashamed to say that Raven is our champion! That's repulsive!
::Jerry Lynn tries to rake the snot from his face as Raven plays to the crowd, setting up for the Evenflow. Raven whips Lynn off the ropes and goes for a kick to the stomach. Jerry Lynn dodges it and latches onto Raven, catching him with a crucifix rollup. 1...2...Raven kicks out! Cyrus slides a chair into the ring for Lynn, but Raven intercepts it. He cracks Lynn across the skull with it, then opens it and sets it in the middle of the ring. Jerry Lynn gets up and stumbles towards Raven who nails him with a drop toe-hold. Lynn's face smashes into the steel chair. Raven makes the cover but Cyrus gets on the ring apron. Raven gets off Lynn and gives Cyrus a huge right hand, knocking him to the floor! Raven turns around and Lynn hooks him for the the cradle piledriver. Raven pushes Lynn away and nails him with the Evenflow!::
Joey Styles: EVENFLOW! EVENFLOW DDT BY RAVEN!
Chase Cassidy: CHEAT! CHEAT!
::Raven makes the cover...1...2...3!::
Joey Styles: Raven has done it! Raven has done it again! Against all odds, Raven retains his ECW World Championship with the Evenflow ddt!!
Chase Cassidy: CHEAT!
Joey Styles: The fans here are one hundred percent behind our World Champion!
::Francine gets in the ring and celebrates with Raven as Lynn and Cyrus head towards the back::
::Earlier today...Cyrus enters the locker room and approaches Al Snow who is conversing with Head::
Cyrus: Excuse me...
::Al Snow keeps talking to Head::
Cyrus: EXCUUUUSE ME!
::Al Snow looks up::
Al Snow: Can't you see I'm trying to have a conversation here?
Cyrus: That's tremendous, but I'm more important than your little mannequin head, so it's time to listen to good ol' Commissioner Cyrus!
::Snow brings Head closer to his ear, looks at Cyrus, then shakes his head::
Al Snow: You better watch your mouth...I don't think he's THAT bad...
Cyrus: Look Snow, cut the crap, tonight, I'm giving you a match with E.Z. Money. There's one catch, it's tag team match. You need to find yourself a partner to compete against Money, and his partner...Justin Credible. Good luck...
::Cyrus leaves and Al Snow continues to talk to Head::
::Jerry Lynn helps Cyrus into his office. Cyrus is holding his face after taking that punch from Raven. There's a knock at the door...::
Cyrus: What now? COME IN!
::Tommy Dreamer and Stevie Richards of the Flock walk in with smiles on their faces. Cyrus rolls his eyes::
Tommy Dreamer: Cyrus, you're a clever, clever man...aren't you?
Stevie Richards: Clever!
::Cyrus smiles and nods::
Tommy Dreamer: So clever in fact, that you screwed Stevie and myself out of the Tag Team Titles last week on Hardcore TV.
Stevie Richards: Screwed! Yeah!
::Cyrus continues to smile and nod::
Tommy Dreamer: Right before we beat your boys Matthews and York, you rang the bell claiming that the time limit had expired...
Cyrus: Yes, I remember it well, I am extremely clever, no pun intended. Haha! But get to the point Dreamer...as you can see, I'm busy!
Stevie Richards: Busy my--
Tommy Dreamer: So let me make a little proposal here Cyrus. You give Richards and I another shot at Matthews and York. After what they did to us in the parking lot, we don't even care about the Tag Team Titles.
Stevie Richards: Yeah, and if your boys win, then Tommy and I will never get another shot at the Tag Titles.
Cyrus: And so what if you win?
Tommy Dreamer: If we win, then we get a shot at the titles some other time.
Cyrus: Hmm, well, that's an interesting proposal, but sorry, no can do! Sorry, your proposal is DENIED! I'm with the Office you know!
::Richards mocks Cyrus::
Cyrus: Well, I see I'm not the only clever one in the room, eh Richards? You know what, I'm feeling generous now. So go get your tights, you guys will get your hands on Matthews and York in the ring tonight, but NOT the way you want it. Good luck! Now get the hell out of my office!
::Shannon Moore approaches Al Snow and Head as they are stretching for their upcoming match. On the television set in front of them, the Impact Players are shown beating up on Helms and Moore earlier in the evening::
Shannon Moore: Hey Al, I hear you're looking for a partner...
Al Snow: (to Head) Hold on a second, yes, you can wait for one second! Hey, don't start with that again! I am not! You are! Oh, don't you bring Jesus into this!
Shannon Moore: Okay...so...I'd be happy to help you take on E.Z. Money and Credible. The Impact Players attacked Shane and I earlier, I want to get my hands on Credible!
::Snow continues to argue with Head::
Shannon Moore: Okay, so I'll see you out there I guess...
::Moore leaves the locker room. As he comes out, he meets up with Shane Helms who was heading the same direction::
Shane Helms: Hey man...
Shannon Moore: Hey! I’m going to get a piece of Justin Credible for the both of us in the next match!
Shane Helms: Oh...really? Awesome, good luck out there.
Shannon Moore: Thanks!
::Moore hurries off towards the ring::
Joey Styles: I guess we know who Al Snow's partner is going to be now. Shannon Moore wants to get some revenge on Justin Credible, and I can't say I blame him!
Chase Cassidy: Shannon Moore is just bitter because the Impact Players got the best of him and his partner Shane Helms.
Joey Styles: Got the best of them!? The Impact Players attacked Helms and Moore from behind and assaulted them with chairs!
Chase Cassidy: Exactly, the Impact Players got the best of them!
::"Sun Shining Down On Me" by Jackyl hits and E.Z. Money comes out with Chris Hamrick at his side. Money struts down to the ring with his suspenders, bow-tie, and sequin cowboy hat while stroking his ECW Television Championship. He gets in the ring and hands the belt to the ring announcer, then proceeds to do a little strip tease a strips down to his tights::
Chase Cassidy: Yeah! E.Z. Money! oW oW!
Joey Styles: Don't get too excited there Chase...
Chase Cassidy: Oh..um..er..
::"Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" by Grinspoon plays and the fans immediately boo. Justin Credible, along with his partner Lance Storm walk out onto the stage and pose. They slowly make their way to the ring where they bully the referee. The referee finally has enough and sends both Lance Storm and Chris Hamrick to the back!::
Chase Cassidy: What is he doing?!
Joey Styles: He's doing his job...
::After Storm and Hamrick disappear behind the curtains, "Breathe" by Prodigy blasts throughout the arena. The fans start chanting "We Want Head! We Want Head!". Soon enough, Head, the mannequin head, pops through the curtains bobbing up and down. Al Snow steps out and starts spinning in circles on the stage. He walks down the steps, but wisely stops short of the ring. "A Certain Shade Of Green" by Incubus hits and the fans pop. Shannon Moore bursts through the curtains full of energy. He jumps over the steps to the floor and slaps the hands of the fans nearby. He and Al Snow look at each other, then bolt towards the ring. The wrestlers pair up in a brawl, E.Z. Money with Al Snow, and Justin Credible with Shannon Moore. Moore and Credible make their way out of the ring where they beat on each other some more. In the ring, E.Z. Money bounces Snow off the ropes. He kicks Snow in the stomach and nails him with a release suplex. 1...2...Al Snow kicks out. Money whips Snow into the corner but Snow drops to his knees to avoid hitting the turnbuckles. E.Z. goes for a clothesline, but Snow ducks it. Snow grabs Money by his arms so he can't move, then bombards him with wild headbutts! Snow releases E.Z. for a second, then throws him with a t-bone suplex. 1...2...E.Z. Money kicks out! On the outside, Credible whips Moore towards the steel guardrail. Shannon Moore jumps on top of the guardrail, then moonsaults off knocking Credible to the floor. He mounts Credible and hits him with multiple lefts and rights::
Joey Styles: Shannon Moore with a beautiful moonsault! He's really taking it to Justin Credible! Credible doesn't look so hot without his tag partner here to back him up!
Chase Cassidy: You wouldn't look so hot either if small children were falling from the sky onto you!
Joey Styles: Small children!?
Chase Cassidy: Shannon Moore...
Joey Styles: I'd like to see you in a match with Shannon after that comment!
::Al Snow clotheslines E.Z. Money over the top rope to the floor. Justin Credibly slides in the ring behind the referee's back and attacks Al Snow. Shannon Moore tries to get in, but the referee keeps him out. Justin Credible goes to his corner as E.Z. Money climbs onto the ring apron. Al Snow turns around and E.Z. Money flips over the top rope. Money lands on his feet and takes Snow's head off with the Moneyclip! 1...2...Al Snow kicks out. E.Z. Money makes the tag to Justin Credible who continues the assault on Al Snow. Credible hits a Russian Legsweep on Snow and goes to the middle turnbuckle. He jumps off and drives his elbow into the throat of Al Snow. Credible locks Snow in the tree of woe, and goes for a running kick to the face, but Al Snow moves out of the way. Credible slides through and crotches himself against the steel ring post! This gives Al the chance to make the tag to Shannon Moore. Shannon Moore comes in and clears house, knocking both Credible and E.Z. Money down with clotheslines and then dropkicks. Snow and Moore hit stereo clotheslines knocking Money and Credible to the floor. Shannon Moore bounces off the ropes and nails a huge senton over the top rope! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" chants echo throughout the arena as Moore takes out both E.Z. Money and Justin Credible::
Joey Styles: This is Shannon Moore's second match of the night and he's still on fire! This kid has great heart and amazing ability!
Chase Cassidy: Yawn...I'm sorry, what were you saying Joseph?
::From the outside, Shannon Moore coaxes Al Snow into going to the top rope. Snow leaps off the top turnbuckle and nails a huge splash onto Money and Credible!! More "E-C-DUB!" chants fill the arena::
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! Al Snow with a huge splash to the floor!
::Shannon Moore rolls Justin Credible into the ring. He nails Credible with the tornado suplex and makes the cover. E.Z. Money tries to get back into the ring to break the count, but Al Snow gives him Head! The referee makes the three count! Shannon Moore and Al Snow defeat Justin Credible and E.Z. Money!::
::Dawn Marie is standing by with a fuming Kurt Angle::
Dawn Marie: Mr...um...
Kurt Angle: Angle, Mr. Angle, your Olympic Hero!
Dawn Marie: Yeah! That's you! Hi, I'm Dawn Marie!
Kurt Angle: I know, we've met several times...
Dawn Marie: Yeah, that's me!
::Dawn giggles and bounces::
Dawn Marie: Now tonight you had a match with...Super Crazy! And he beat you!
Kurt Angle: He cheated! Yes, I had a match with Super Crazy, but that twirp Nova came out and distracted me! They were in cahoots! It's true! I don't understand why anyone likes Nova! He comes out and interferes illegally, thinks he's great, and he's not an Olympic Champion! How could anyone like him!?
Dawn Marie: I like him...
::Kurt Angle stares at Dawn for a minute::
Kurt Angle: Give me that and get out of here!
::Angle grabs the microphone from Dawn Marie and pushes her out of the camera's view::
Kurt Angle: Nova, at Guilty As Charged on pay per view, you'll get what's come to you...an ass-kicking from your Olympic Hero! It's true! It's damn true! And once and for all, I'll show the world that ECW is trash wrestling, hell, it isn't even wrestling! Down with ECW! Anti-ECW is the way to be!!
::Angle drops the microphone and walks off::
Joey Styles: I can't believe the nerve of Kurt Angle! He trash talks our company and the extreme style, yet when he has a match, he takes advantage of our style and uses anything he can get his hands on. He's a huge hypocrite and I hope Nova beats some sense into him at Guilty As Charged!
Chase Cassidy: So angry...so violent...You really need to find a way to let things go Joseph. I could set you up with a good shrink if you'd like.
Joey Styles: Is it the one you go to?
Chase Cassidy: Well, yeah, of course.
Joey Styles: No thanks, I'll pass...
::"Come Out and Play" by the Offspring hits. Tommy Dreamer and Stevie Richards come out and pose for the fans on the stage as flashbulbs go off throughout the arena. They make their way to the ring, ready for whatever may lay ahead of them. "More Than You Are" by Grinspoon echoes through the building. Joey Matthews and Christian York step through the curtains followed by Cyrus who is holding an icepack against his face. Cyrus pulls out a microphone and the music cuts::
Cyrus: Excuse me! Sit down tubby in the first row! EXCUUUUSE ME! Dreamer and Richards, you wanted to get your hands on my boys Matthews and York, well you're about to. But as I said earlier, you're not getting the match you wanted, oh no. This match instead will be a handicapped match! I'd like to introduce you to the tag team partner of the Tag Champs for tonight...RHIIIIIINOOOOOOO!!!
::"Debonaire" by Dope blares through the speakers and the fans boo like crazy. Rhino storms out onto the stage and the three Office members go to the ring. Cyrus disappears once again behind the curtains to go nurse his boo-boo::
Joey Styles: Cyrus really likes his handicapped matches doesn't he?
Chase Cassidy: Cyrus likes to punish those who deserve it.
Joey Styles: And Dreamer and Richards deserve it!?
Chase Cassidy: Most definitely, duh.
Joey Styles: What did they do!? Last week Cyrus screwed them out of the Tag Team Titles. After that, Matthews and York ambushed them in the parking lot! I'm surprised they're even here tonight after the beating they took!
::Rhino slides in the ring first and nails Stevie Richards with a huge spinebuster. Matthews and York double team Tommy Dreamer, backing him into the corner. York puts Dreamer on the top rope then Matthews climbs onto York's shoulders. They drop Dreamer flat on his face with a double-decker flatliner! York makes the cover...1...2...Dreamer kicks out! Rhino grabs Richards by his hair and tosses him out of the ring to the floor. Matthews and Rhino go to their corner as York nails Dreamer with rights and lefts. He lifts Dreamer up for a side suplex, but drops him into a sit-down facebuster. York tags in Matthews, then nails Dreamer with a backbreaker and holds him there. Matthews leaps off the top rope and lands on Dreamer with a legdrop. 1...2...Dreamer kicks out! Matthews bounces off the ropes and catches Tommy with a flying headscissors. Matthews wrenches Dreamer's arm and tags in Rhino. Rhino knees Dreamer in the side then throws him to the mat. Rhino pounds on his chest and yells at the fans in the audience. He pulls Dreamer up and sends him back down with a huge club to the side of the head. Rhino uses the top rope for leverage and chokes Tommy Dreamer with his boot. The referee tries to get Rhino to break the hold, but Rhino pushes him away. Finally, Rhino breaks the hold. He bounces off the ropes and GORES the referee!!::
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! I can't believe it! Rhino just gored the referee!
Chase Cassidy: GORE! GORE! GORE! The referee deserved it Joseph, don't hate!
Joey Styles: Don't hate!? Chase, the referee was just doing his job!
::A "F*ck You Rhino!" chant quickly erupts. Joey Matthews and Christian York each get a table from under the ring and slide them in. Rhino props one up in the corner then props the other table on top of it. Matthews and York slide in the ring and hold Tommy Dreamer while Rhino punches away. Stevie Richards finally comes to and gets back in the ring with a chair. He nails Joey Matthews first followed by Christian York. He hits Rhino, but to no avail. Richards drops the chair and bounces Rhino off the ropes. Rhino goes for a clothesline, but Richards ducks it. He kicks Rhino in the stomach and nails a ddt. Joey Matthews gets up and Stevie Richards nails him with the Stevie Kick! Matthews flies over the top rope to the floor. Christian York picks up the chair only to have Richards Stevie Kick it into his face! York turns around and Dreamer picks him up looking for the Spicolli Driver. Dreamer points towards the tables, but Rhino GORES his boots off! Richards goes for a Stevie Kick on Rhino, but Rhino blocks it and picks Richards up. He charges and drives Richards through both the tables in the corner! A new referee hits the ring and makes the count as Rhino makes the cover...1...2...3!::
Joey Styles: What a horrible way to end the show! What a vicious three on two assault by Rhino, York, and Matthews!
Chase Cassidy: Well Joseph, that's the point of a handicapped match. What's the problem?
Joey Styles: The problem is that our commissioner completely abuses his power! Cyrus is a damned tyrant! Pardon my language...
Chase Cassidy: JOSEPH!
Joey Styles: Wait, here comes Raven!
::Raven runs down the aisle receiving a huge pop. He slides in the ring and nails Matthews, York, and Rhino all with a few right hands, but it’s too much for him to handle. Rhino, York, and Matthews beat Raven down to the mat, then set a table up in the middle of the ring. Rhino whips Raven off the ropes and Matthews and York go for a double hiptoss. They catch Raven in midair, lift him up, and powerbomb him through the table!::
Chase Cassidy: Futureshock! That’s called the Futureshock Joseph!
Joey Styles: I know Chase...what a heinous assault by the Office. I’m sure Cyrus is jumping with joy back in his office...
Chase Cassidy: And he should be! He’s with the Office you know!
Joey Styles: Could you possibly kiss Cyrus’ ass any more than you do? That's all the time we have tonight folks, see you here next week!

Episode #8!
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