Joey Styles: Hello...and welcome to ECW Hardcore TV! I'm Joey Styles...

Chase Cassidy: And I'm your HOST--

Joey Styles: And what a night we had live on Pay Per View at ECW Barely Legal!

Chase Cassidy: Excuse me! I was talking!

Joey Styles: Oh, you were? I'm really getting pretty good at this "tuning you out" thing.

Chase Cassidy: As I was saying, I'm the hostess with the mostest, Chase Cassidy!

Joey Styles: Hostess huh? That's nice Chase. I suppose that would explain your relationship with E.Z. Money...

Chase Cassidy: What? What relationship!? There is nothing going on between me and Jay, uh E.Z. Money!

Joey Styles: Sure Chase, you do realize that by calling yourself a hostESS, you're calling yourself a woman, right?

Chase Cassidy: YOUR MOM!

Joey Styles: Anyway, as you saw from the opening of the show, ECW Barely Legal was a pay per view extravaganza that will go down in the annals of professional wrestling!

Chase Cassidy: Annals huh Joseph? I think you're mispronouncing that.

Joey Styles: No Chase, I'm not. You're thinking of somethings completely different...annals, as in history.

Chase Cassidy: Sure Joseph, way to cover your ass. Ooo, no pun intended! Haha! I'm hilarious even when I don't mean to be! Hahaha!

Joey Styles: At Barely Legal, we crowned an Intercontinental Champion, Tag Team Champions, AND an ECW World Champion! We would have crowned a Cruiserweight Champion had the Impact Players NOT ruined the match.

Chase Cassidy: Gee Joseph, you sound so upset about that! What's your problem? The Impact Players set out to make an impact and they did just that! They saved the pay per view for God's sake!

Joey Styles: Yeah, in your strange, demented opinion...

Chase Cassidy: Some day Joseph you're just going to have to face the truth, and sometimes it hurts. Look at it this way...the Impact Players weren't even scheduled to be on Barely Legal! Is that any way to treat those fine athletes!? NO! Of course not. Paul Heyman just has a problem with the Impact Players and he let that get in the way of business, which shows how selfish he is.

Joey Styles: Paul Heyman has nothing against the Impact Players! They're just paranoid and making excuses! The reason they weren't on the pay per view was because they lost in the Tag Team Title Tournament, plain and simple. They beat on the poor wrestlers in the match so no champion was crowned. Poor Josh Mathews got the worst of it, was bleeding profusely after their heinous attack with those chairs.

Chase Cassidy: Joseph, I wish you could speak without bias, this show would be much better if you could. Let me ask you this...who is more important? The boring Cruiserweights? Or two magnificent athletes such as Justin Credible and Lance Storm? I think the question answers itself.

Joey Styles: In any case, I doubt that Paul Heyman is just going to sit back and let the Impact Players just do what they want. There WILL be a Cruiserweight Champion crowned, that's for sure.

Joey Styles: That was nice of him...

Chase Cassidy: He wants some...um...he wants to bang the chicken! oW oW!

Joey Styles: Oh shush Chase, he was just being nice. I’m sure she appreciated it.

Chase Cassidy: I’m sure she really appreciated it. I wonder how she could ever repay him...

Joey Styles: You’re a sick, sick man Chase! We’re ready for our first match!

::"Scapegoat" by Fear Factory hits and Jerry Lynn comes out on stage to a huge pop. He looks a little upset as he makes his way to the ring::

Joey Styles: Last week at Barely Legal, Jerry Lynn gave Super Crazy a run for his money. Super Crazy ended up becoming the Intercontinental Champion, but take nothing away from Jerry Lynn. He gave it his all and it was a tremendous match!

Chase Cassidy: Eh, I thought it was kind of bland...

Joey Styles: You wouldn't know a good match if it bit you in the ass Chase.

Chase Cassidy: Ouch! That would hurt!

Joey Styles: You would know...

Chase Cassidy: HEY!

Joey Styles: This match is a rematch, well sort of, from Barely Legal, and it's for the ECW Intercontinental Championship.

::"Roadhouse Blues" by the Doors blares through speakers throughout the arena and Super Crazy steps through the curtains. He wears his Intercontinental Title proudly as he poses for the fans on the stage. He walks down the steps and takes off his belt throwing it to the time keeper. He slides into the ring and poses on the second turnbuckle as the fans cheer him on. He jumps off the turnbuckle and walks over to Jerry Lynn. They shake hands then immediately lock up with an collar and elbow tie-up. Jerry backs Super Crazy into the corner and lays in a couple right hands. He follows those up with a couple chops, the crowd screaming "woO!" Jerry Lynn whips Super Crazy across the ring into the other corner and rushes towards him. Super Crazy hops onto the top turnbuckle and backflips over Jerry Lynn. He lands on his feet as Jerry Lynn turns around. Crazy jumps onto Lynn looking for some sort of monkey flip, but Lynn holds onto him and sits him on the top turnbuckle. Jerry Lynn climbs up onto the second turnbuckle and Super Crazy pushes him off. Crazy stands up, turns around, and goes for a moonsault, but Jerry Lynn rolls out of the way. Super Crazy lands on his feet as Lynn bounces off the ropes. Lynn jumps over Super Crazy and rolls him up with a modified sunset flip. Super Crazy rolls through and locks a modified armbar on Lynn. Jerry Lynn escapes and both men jump to their feet. Super Crazy bounces off the ropes. He hooks Lynn on his way back and whips him into the ropes. Lynn comes back and goes for a flying head scissors, but Crazy holds onto him and drops him throat first onto the top rope. Jerry Lynn tuns around stumbling and Crazy bounces off the ropes. He plants Lynn with a flying tornado ddt. He pulls Lynn over near the corner and goes for his trifecta of moonsaults. He nails the one from the bottom turnbuckle, followed by the middle turnbuckle. He goes for the moonsault from the top turnbuckle, but Jerry Lynn gets his feet up. Lynn climbs to the top turnbuckle while Crazy is clutching at his ribs. Lynn jumps off and drops Super Crazy with a bulldog! He makes the cover...::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: No! Super Crazy gets the shoulder up! I thought Lynn had it won there!

Chase Cassidy: Well you thought wrong Joseph!

::Lynn stomps on Crazy a couple of times, then slides to the outside. He pulls a table out from under the ring and slides it in. He grabs a chair, folds it up, and takes it back into the ring with him. He tries to hit Super Crazy with the chair, but Crazy ducks it. He grabs the chair from Lynn, and Lynn kicks it into his face! Jerry Lynn makes the cover...1...2...Super Crazy kicks out again! Jerry Lynn grabs the table and props it up in the corner of the ring. He grabs Super Crazy by the hair and starts to pull him up. Crazy starts to lay in the punches to Jerry's stomach. Super Crazy jumps onto the top rope and springboards off. He spins in midair and knocks Lynn to the mat with a kick to the face. They both get to their feet and Crazy whips Lynn off the ropes. Super Crazy goes for a clothesline, but Jerry Lynn ducks it. He goes behind Super Crazy and locks on. Crazy makes him break the hold with a couple of elbows to the face. Super Crazy turns around towards Jerry Lynn and Lynn kicks him in the stomach. Lynn lifts him up onto his shoulders and runs across the ring looking for a powerbomb through the table. Super Crazy reverses it into a hurricanrana and Jerry Lynn crashes through the table! "E-C-DUB!" chants break out. Super Crazy goes for the the cover...1...2...Jerry Lynn amazingly kicks out!! Super Crazy pulls Jerry Lynn out of the table scraps and positions him on the mat. Crazy grabs the chair and jumps to the top turnbuckle. He leaps off and lands a moonsault with the chair on Jerry Lynn. He quickly pulls Lynn to his feet and shoves his head between his legs. Crazy crosses Lynn's arms under his chest and lifts him up into the air. He drives him down with his Azteca Powerbomb and pins him::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: THREE! Super Crazy has done it again! He manages to pull out the victory over Jerry Lynn!

Chase Cassidy: Lynn hasn't been having much luck lately, has he?

Joey Styles: Jerry Lynn is an amazing competitor, but Super Crazy seem to have his number as of la--

Voice: Excuse me! EXCUUUUUUUUSAH ME!

Joey Styles: Oh, great...

Chase Cassidy: Oh my god! I'm going to faint!

::The fans boo as Cyrus steps out onto the stage holding a microphone to his lips. He carries his signature clipboard, and the members of the Office are following close behind him::

Cyrus: Oh yes, oh yes...it is I, your beloved Commissioner. Thank you, thank you. Oh, you truly are too kind!

::Cyrus and his henchmen make their way to the ring::

Chase Cassidy: What is wrong with these people!? This is no way to treat a man like Cyrus! He's the Commissioner!

::A fan in the front row reaches out trying to touch Cyrus. Cyrus quickly dodges the appendage::

Cyrus: Whoa, WHOA there buddy! Go back to eating your nachos tubby! Don't you dare touch my brand new suit with your greasy paws.

Chase Cassidy: Haha! Tubby! Cyrus is great! What an idiot that fan is!

Joey Styles: ...He's something alright...

::Matthews and York open the ropes for Cyrus as he climbs the steps onto the ring apron. He nods to them, thanking them, then steps through the ropes. Rhino, Matthews, and York shortly follow::

Cyrus: Last week at Barely Legal...

::The crowd erupts into "Asshole!" chants::

Cyrus: EXCUSE ME! It's not every single day that you measly low-class citizens are allowed to be present when someone of my stature speaks! This is a privilege for you! You hear me!? A PRIVILEGE, I TELL YOU! So sit down, and SHUT UP! I'm with the Office!

::The asshole chants continue::

Cyrus: SHUT UP! Don't make me stop this show! I have the brass you know! I'm with the Office dammit! I can kick each and every one of you out of this building if I wanted to! Show me the respect I deserve!

Joey Styles: They are showing him the respect he deserves!

Chase Cassidy: JOSEPH!

Cyrus: Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by you swine in attendance...last week at Barely Legal, the most grotesque travesty EVER occured and I just happened to have been a part of that travesty. I shudder just thinking about it. I think you all know what I'm talking about. Oh hell, I know you don't know what I'm talking about. All of you combined wouldn't be smart enough to figure it out! Now, this footage is not for the weak at heart, so feel free to turn your head, cover you eyes, do whatever you need to...this is terrible and shocking...I...words cannot describe this horror. Please, roll the footage...

::Cyrus shakes his head and covers his eyes as they show the footage he was speaking of. Raven is seen, at Barely Legal, giving Cyrus the Evenflow DDT. The crowd goes crazy!::

Cyrus: I know, I know...it's terrible. I can't even stand to watch it anymore. It brings a tear to my eye. How anyone could to that...to...to ME is just...oh the humanity!

::A huge "Raven" chant starts up, quickly annoying Cyrus::

Cyrus: Hey! Knock that off! Who do you people think you are!? You shouldn't be chanting Raven! No! You should be chanting "Cyrus! Cyrus!" What is wrong with you!? You people make me sick! You blood thirsty savages!!

Chase Cassidy: You tell 'em Cyrus! Show them who's boss!

Joey Styles: They're not too fond of your hero Chase.

Chase Cassidy: I know! That's because they're measly, low-class, blood thirsty savages!

Cyrus: I want to inform you all, that what happened at Barely Legal will never EEEEEEVER happen again, oh no! Not only did Raven maliciously attack me with intent to kill, but he also STOLE the ECW Title away from the man-beast Rhino! But don't you worry, because Raven's title reign won't last very long. Starting tonight, I'm going to make Raven's life...a LIVING HELL!

::Cyrus drops the microphone and the Office heads to the back::

Joey Styles: What does he mean by that?

Chase Cassidy: What do you think he means!? He means he's going to make Raven's life a living hell!

Joey Styles: No, I know that, but...HOW? What does he have planned for Raven?

Chase Cassidy: Well...you know, I talked to Cyrus before the show, you know, me and Cyrus...we're like brothers. Anyway, I talked to him before the show and he told me what he's got planned for Raven. He's going to...um...well, sorry, I can't tell you. Cyrus told me not to tell anyone.

Joey Styles: Sure Chase...

Chase Cassidy: What!? HE DID!

::Replay: The Impact Players are shown attacking the Cruiserweights in the Battle Royal at Barely Legal. Later that night, Shannon Moore and Shane Helms got revenge::

Joey Styles: This next matchup was made due to the Impact Players' assault on the Cruiserweights at Barely Legal.

Chase Cassidy: The Impact Players made an IMPACT! I, for one, enjoyed it.

Joey Styles: Shannon Moore and Shane Helms refused to sit back and be humiliated by the Impact Players, so tonight Shannon Moore has challenged Lance Storm, one on one.

Chase Cassidy: Moore is a dead man...

::"Certain Shade of Green" by Incubus hits and Shannon Moore jumps though the curtains to a huge pop. He makes his way to the ring giving the fans high fives all the way around the ring. He slides into the ring and poses on the second turnbuckle::

Joey Styles: Shannon Moore is out here all alone...I don't know if that was the smartest move in the world...

Chase Cassidy: Well, what do you expect from him? He's already shown us his stupidity by actually coming out here. Lance Storm is going to destroy him!

Joey Styles: Yeah, we'll see about that. Lance Storm better not underestimate Shannon Moore as much as you are Chase...he's extremely talented.

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, yeah, so is my dog.

Joey Styles: I didn't know you had a dog.

Chase Cassidy: I don't! Haha! Gotcha Joe!

::"El Phantasmo and the Chicken Blast-O-Rama" by White Zombie hits and out comes Lance Storm. He poses on the edge of the stage for the booing fans, and Justin Credible walks out behind him. Credible poses behind Storm with the two chairs from Barely Legal, dried blood caked on them. Credible taunts the fans at ringside and Lance Storm slides into the ring. Shannon Moore runs at him and Storm quickly sidesteps him, sending him bouncing off the ropes. Moore comes back and goes for a flying head scissors, but Storm holds him and goes for a sidewalk slam. Moore manages to escape it and throws Storm with an armdrag. Moore runs at Lance Storm as he gets to his feet. Storm kicks Moore in the ribs then bounces him off the ropes. Shannon comes back with a body scissors into an armdrag. Storm gets up and Moore hops onto his shoulders then rolls him up...1...2...Lance Storm kicks out. Shannon pulls Storm up and scoop slams him back down. Moore climbs up to the top rope. He signals for something, but Justin Credible hops onto the ring apron and crotches him up top!::

Joey Styles: Oh come on! Blatant cheating by the Impact Players!

Chase Cassidy: Impact Players!? CHEATING!? No...NEVER!

Joey Styles: Cram it Chase.

Chase Cassidy: Joseph...how...DIRTY!

::Lance Storm climbs up to the top in front of Moore. He goes for a suplex, but Moore blocks it. Shannon pushes Storm off and stands up. He goes for a twisting senton, but Justin Credible pulls Lance Storm out of the ring just before Shannon hit! While Credible checks on Storm on the outside, Shannon struggles to get back to his feet. He bounces off the ropes and flies over the top rope with a somersault plancha! Both members of the Impact Players get driven to the floor by Shannon's projectile body. Shannon pulls himself up using the guardrail, then jumps onto it. He flips backwards with a moonsault onto Lance Storm::

Joey Styles: As you can tell, all these highrisk maneuvers are taking a lot out of Shannon Moore. If he could just roll Storm into the ring, he might have it won.

Chase Cassidy: But he won't because he can't! He's in just as much pain as Lance Storm is!

::Shannon rolls into the ring taking a much needed breather. Justin Credible helps Storm to his feet and gets him back in the ring. Moore gets up and swings at Storm. Lance ducks and goes behind Shannon. He lifts him up and drops him with a belly to back suplex into a powerbomb...1...2...Shannon Moore kicks out. Storm pulls Shannon up by his hair and whips him into the corner. Shannon hits hard and stumbles out, walking right into a superkick! 1...2...Shannon Moore kicks out again! Lance drapes Moore across the middle rope and puts his leg over his back. He applies pressure, using the top rope, to choke Moore. Lance Storm refuses to break the hold and pushes the referee out of the way. He finally lets go and slams Shannon to the mat. Storm climbs up and sits on the top rope. He stands on the second turnbuckle, but Shannon gets to his feet and elbows him in the stomach. Storm sits back down as Shannon gets on the ring apron and climbs up behind him. Justin Credible hops onto the apron and clubs Moore on the back just as he gets to the top. Credible helps Lance Storm get Shannon onto his right shoulder. Storm stands up with Moore and looks like he's going to go for a powerslam. Shannon Moore quickly wraps his legs around Storm's head, falls forward, and throws Storm off the top rope! Moore rolls over and makes the cover...::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO! NO!

Joey Styles: NO! Justin Credible in the ring to break it up!

Chase Cassidy: What a smart move by Credible! I like that tactic!

Joey Styles: That's not tactic, that's blatant cheating! Oh great, Credible isn't even in the match...and look what he's doing now!

::Credible pulls Shannon up and nails him with a loud superkick. Lance Storm rolls out of the ring and brings their blood stained chairs back into the ring with him. He tosses one to Credible and the two wait for Shannon to get to his feet. All of a sudden, Shane Helms runs down the aisle and slides into the ring with a chair in each hand to a huge pop. He drops one of the chairs and attacks Credible from behind with the other! Helms throws Credible over the top rope to the outside. He turns around and Storm nails him with a chairshot. Helms falls through the ropes to the floor. Lance Storm turns around and Shannon kicks him in the stomach. He puts his leg on the back of Storm's head and drops him facefirst onto the chair with the Bottom's Up! He makes the cover!::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: THREE! Shannon Moore has done it!

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, thanks to Shane Helms!

Joey Styles: Well, I would hate to have seen what the Impact Players were going to do to Shannon!

::On the outside, Justin Credible nails Shane Helms with the hardest chairshot you've ever seen, wrapping the chair around Helms' head. He leaves the chair and rolls into the ring. The referee raises Moore's arm then Credible attacks him from behind. Credible plants him with a ddt just as Lance Storm gets to his feet. Storm positions a chair on the mat and tells Credible something. Storm goes to the top rope as Credible grabs Moore and brings him over. The Impact Players then drive Moore onto the chair with a vicious spike piledriver!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!

Chase Cassidy: I suppose you could call that revenge...

Joey Styles: The Impact Players are just sick! Someone get out here and check on poor Shannon Moore while we go to the back!

::Backstage...Ivory is talking up a storm to a couple of crew members...::

Ivory: Yeah, did you see that at Barely Legal!? The Impact Players COMPLETELY handed Josh's ass too him! It was great! My bud Jamie Knoble would have done it himself, you know...had they not come out. Anyway, it was great to see Josh get beaten with those chairs, I loved it!

::The crew members stop looking at Ivory. Instead, they look beyond her as Taylor Matheney walks up to her::

Taylor: Gee, I couldn't help but hear what you've been saying--

Ivory: Excuse me, I'm trying to have a conversation!

Taylor: Not anymore you're not.

Ivory: I don't believe I said anything to you little girl.

Taylor: Does it look like I care? You know what? I used to have a ton of respect for you...but after hearing you blab and blab and blab about how much you enjoyed watching my friend from Tough Enough bleed, I've realized something...

Ivory: Oh yeah?

Taylor: Yeah. You're not someone I should respect. You're not someone ANYONE should respect. You're just a sad excuse for a human being!

Ivory: Oh...gee schnookems, thanks for caring. Are you...done yet?

::Taylor nods::

Ivory: Good, then why don't you turn your Tough Enough losing ass around and start walking the other way, and I'll do the same...okay? Yeah, turn it around...

::They both turn around and start walking in opposite directions. Taylor turns around and runs at Ivory. She grabs her head and smashes it into a wall! Taylor holds onto Ivory by her hair and pulls her down the hall. She rams Ivory into a door which opens from the force. Several people are seen eating inside as Taylor throws Ivory onto a table full of food. A bowl gets knocked off and popcorn flies everywhere. Taylor grabs a bottle of water and nails Ivory in the head with it, then pours it down Ivory's shirt! Taylor grabs a thermos and rams it into Ivory's face. She picks up a pie with a piece taken out of it::

Taylor: I hope you like...PIE!

::Taylor jams the pie into Ivory's face and picks up an aerosol can::

Taylor: Oh no! You forgot the whipped cream!

::Ivory pulls the pie tin off her face revealing the remains of the pie. She wipes it out of her eyes and Taylor sprays her in the face with whipped cream! Taylor sprays some whipped cream down Ivory's shirt, then nails her with a huge chop! Taylor pulls Ivory off the table, then snaps her over with a suplex on the floor! She flips a table over on top of Ivory...::

Taylor: I don't want to hear you talking trash about Josh EVER AGAIN!

::Taylor storms off::

Joey Styles: CAAAAT FIIIIIIIGHT! Yikes...Taylor was really upset with Ivory for talking about Josh...

Chase Cassidy: What a dastardly attack by Taylor! That was horrendous! Ivory was minding her own business when--

Joey Styles: Ivory NEVER minds her own business Chase, you know tha--Wait a minute, what was that? Ladies and gentlemen...I've just been informed of something. A match has been signed tonight...between Taylor and Ivory! Ivory versus Taylor here tonight!

Chase Cassidy: Why do "they" always inform you!? What about me!? What am I!? Chopped liver!?

Joey Styles: Do you really want me to answer that?

::"CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN!" The voice of an opera singer fills the arena making the fans boo. Christian walks out on stage and holds his arms out straight to his sides, absorbing the jeers with pride. He walks down to the ring, cockiness exuding from his body. He climbs into the ring and poses on the second turnbuckle, the he grabs a microphone from the time keeper::

Joey Styles: Oh great, Christian, the eternal egotist, is going to talk...

Chase Cassidy: What is wrong with you Joseph!? You are honored to be in the same arena as Christian, and now he's going to speak in front of you! Calm yourself Styles!

Joey Styles: Gee, I'll try...

::Christian brings the microphone to his mouth and just as he is about to begin his speech, a huge "Christian Sucks!" chant breaks out. Christian walks to the edge of the ring and stands on the bottom rope yelling at the audience. Finally, the chant dies down a little and Christian begins...::

Christian: Oh yeah? Oh YEAH!? OH YEAH!? Well what do YOU people know anyway!? You people don't even know how to maintain your own hygiene! Yeah! Don't hide from the truth people! Look at you people...I've seen better hygiene on a factory farm! Lets do a little comparison...look at...you. Yeah, look around. Look at your friends, your companions, your neighbors. Now...look at ME! ME! ME! See the difference? I think it's completely obvious. Okay, I'll make it a little more clear for those of you who are lacking in the brain cells department. As opposed to you...I am...a winner! Winner, winner, WINNER! Now, look at your hair...all matted, greasy, nappy...I bet you people find parts of your T.V. dinners in those beehives of yours! Look at you, what a disgrace...disgusting! Now look at...ME! Look at my beautiful golden locks...charming, shiny, glimmering, stylish...oh what's the use? You people will never understand. But I didn't come out here to insult you, well yeah I did, but I had more of an IMPORTANT reason, and you lowlifes certainly aren't important in the least! Nope! Nadda! Nuh uh! You see, earlier today I had a nice chat with everyone's favorite Commissioner, Mr. Cyrus, and guess what! Guess what! GUESS WHAT! He agreed that I was screwed at Barely Legal! Screwed, screwed, SCREWED! Raven cheat, it's as simple as that. Now, I'm sure all of you were listening closely while Cyrus was out here earlier...unless of course you can't afford to buy a hearing aid because you spent all your money on duct tape to keep your cardboard box standing up! Anyway, you probably heard him say that he was going to make Raven's life a living hell, right? Well...that starts tonight! And it starts...dun, dun, dun...with ME! ME! ME! So Raven, get out here so I can take that title from you!!

::Christian drops the microphone and "Come Out And Play" by the Offspring hits. Francine walks through the curtains, then Raven walks out behind her to a huge pop. He stands at the edge of the stage and does the sign of the crucifix::

Joey Styles: Listen to these fans! What ovation!

Chase Cassidy: I don't want to listen to these low-life fans Joseph! Did you not comprehend anything Christian just said!? These people are...are...well, they're just DIRTY!

Joey Styles: Just shut up for once Chase...do you believe EVERYTHING you hear, or just when it comes from Christian or Cyrus?

::Raven takes off his leather jacket and title belt, hands them to Francine, and runs down the aisle into the ring. He and Christian exchange rights and lefts, going back and forth. Raven bounces Christian off the ropes and Christian comes running back. Raven back body drops Christian over the top rope to the floor. Raven climbs through the ropes, onto the ring apron, and Francine hands him a steel chair. When Christian gets to his feet, Raven jumps off the apron and drives the chair into Christian's skull. Raven whips Christian across the arena floor into the guardrails. Raven runs at Christian, clotheslines him, and holds on. He turns Christian ninety degrees and nails a running bulldog onto an open chair!::

Joey Styles: Oh my god! Our time keeper barely got out of the way in time!

Chase Cassidy: Yeah...I wish he wouldn't have. I've never liked the guy...

Joey Styles: You don't like anyone...besides Christian, members of the Office, and your former announce partner...that Cade guy.

Chase Cassidy: AAAAAND, E.Z. Money!

Joey Styles: Gee, how could I have forgotten that. You really like him.

Chase Cassidy: You know what, I've had about all I can take of you and your insinuation!

Joey Styles: Raven is really taking it to Christian on the outside! Christian looks like his lip has been busted open!

Chase Cassidy: What!? Oh my god! PARAMEDICS! We need a transplant!

Joey Styles: Transplant? I think you mean transFUSION Chase...

Chase Cassidy: That's what I said!

::Raven has Christian cornered where two sets of guardrails meet and he lays in the punches. He grabs a drink from a fan and smashes it against Christian's head, shooting its contents everywhere. Raven grabs a chair and folds it up. He sets it up against a steel guardrail and pulls Christan to his feet. Raven drives Christian's head into the chair with a russian legsweep! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" As Christian sits there dazed, Raven grabs another chair, then sandwiches Christian with a shot to the head! The "E-C-DUB!" chants continue. Raven grabs Christian by his hair and takes him back into the ring, making the cover. 1...2...Christian kicks out! Raven bounces off the ropes as Christian gets to his knees. Raven nails him with a kneelift to the face. 1...2...Christian kicks out again! Raven pulls Christian up and whips him across the ring into the corner. Raven charges at him, but Christian boots him in the face. Christian grabs Raven from behind and drops him onto his knee with a modified reverse ddt! He grabs Raven by the hair, lifts him up off the mat, and slams him back down. Christian yells at Francine on the outside to give him a chair. She refuses and he barrades her with insults. Raven sneaks up behind Christian and rolls him up! 1...2...Christian kicks out! They both get to their feet and Christian pokes Raven in the eye. Christian picks Raven up with a fireman's carry, then pancakes him face-first into the top turnbuckle. He makes the cover...1...2...Raven kicks out! Christian yells at the ref and makes the cover again, but Raven kicks out once more. Christian pulls Raven up and bounces him off the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but Raven ducks it and goes for a neckbreaker. Christian turns it around and nails Raven with a snap suplex. 1...2...Raven kicks out again! Christian rolls Raven over and locks on a half boston crab. He yells at Raven to tap out, but Raven refuses. Francine rallies the crowd behind Raven and he almost reaches the ropes, but Christian pulls him back into the center of the ring::

Joey Styles: Raven almost got to the ropes--

Chase Cassidy: He wasn't even close!

Joey Styles: ...But Christian pulled him away. Christian seems much more focused and determined than we've seen him lately.

Chase Cassidy: Pfft, Christian is always focused and determined! That's why he's a winner, winner, WINNER!

::Raven looks as if he's about to tap out, but Francine jumps onto the apron. Christian starts yelling at her again, and she tells him to "bring it on". Christian breaks the hold and walks over to Francine. He grabs her by the hair before she can jump off the apron. He screams right in her face, then turns back to Raven in the ring. Suddenly, he throws a back-elbow nailing Francine in the head! Francine falls off the ring apron to the cold hard concrete! The fans let Christian know of their disapproval. Christian rolls to the outside and starts arguing with a woman in the front row. In the meantime, Raven gets a chair in the ring. Christian rolls back into the ring then tells the woman, "Cram it granny!" He turns around and Raven drops him with the evenflow ddt on the chair!::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: THREE! Raven has done it! Raven has beaten Christian! Cyrus’ plan didn’t work! Raven is still our champion!

Chase Cassidy: Speak for yourself Joseph...can’t we...go to the back or something?

Joey Styles: Actually...

::The Office...of the Office...Joey Matthews, Christian York, and Rhino look distraught sitting in front of a television set. The camera pans around to see Cyrus with his head down on his desk, motionless. The camera focuses on his hand holding a pencil, tapping gently on his clipboard. Cyrus' head shoots up suddenly and stares right into the camera. His eyes then shift to the members of his group, the Office::

Cyrus: Okay, okay, so the first plan didn't work. All is not lost, right?

::There comes no answer::

Cyrus: RIGHT!?

::Cyrus' three henchmen immediately agree with Cyrus, nodding, and saying "right, right"::

Cyrus: Yeah, that's what I was thinking. There's still plenty of time. One thing is for sure...Raven WILL crumble before my very eyes...it's only a matter of time. You don't attack Commissioner Cyrus and get away with it. I don't forgive...and I certainly don't forget. Raven has the World Title...so what? SO WHAT!? We're with the Office! We ARE the Office! Raven has one title...we have two. We're still winning! We have the Tag Team Champions after all!

::Matthews and York don't look too thrilled::

Cyrus: We've still got the Tag Team Champions!!

::Cyrus glares at Matthews and York whose expressions don't change::

Cyrus: What the hell is wrong with you guys!? Are you still worried about that REMATCH!?

Christian York: Cyrus...it is in the contract...

Joey Matthews: We will have to give them their rematch...

Cyrus: What? What is wrong with you!? We're with the Office damn it! Let's ACT like it! You guys are the Tag Team Champions for a reason you know. But have you no faith in your Commissioner!? In fact...I have an IDEA!

::Cyrus motions for Matthews and York to get closer, and he whispers something to them. They immediately perk up. Cyrus dials a number and puts the receiver on speaker-phone. Some one answers at the other end of the line::

Cyrus: Yes...This is YOUR BOSS, Commissioner Cyrus speaking...I was just curious, is Mr. Whipwreck in the building?

::The voice tells them that Whipwreck isn't in the building, he's at home nursing his broken ankle from Barely Legal::

Cyrus: Oh, well, that's just too bad.

::Cyrus turns the phone off and grins evilly::

Cyrus: Well then, it's settled. The contract never said when they would get their rematch, did it? And it didn't say that they had a choice as to when they get their rematch, correct? Well then...they get their rematch tonight!! Joey Matthews and Christian York versus Yoshihiro Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck. A rematch for the ECW Tag Team Titles...and if Whipwreck can't seem to make it, then Tajiri might just have a little problem!

::Cyrus gives an evil smirk and the Tag Champs look very pleased::

Joey Styles: He can't be serious...

Chase Cassidy: I think he's serious Joseph. You want to know what else I think?

Joey Styles: Not particularly...Cyrusis an evil, evil man. I can't believe this!

Chase Cassidy: Evil? I suppose you could say that. I think he's a GENIUS! He's brilliant!

Joey Styles: Stop kissing his ass Chase. What Cyrus has done is...disgusting. It's completely unfair! Chase...Mikey Whipwreck isn't even here! He's at home with a BROKEN ANKLE thanks to Joey Matthews and Christian York! Cyrus is going to make Tajiri wrestle a handicapped match, not a tag team rematch!

Chase Cassidy: Well, it's not Cyrus' fault if Mikey Whipwreck doesn't have the guts to show up. Broken ankle...pfft!

::Ivory's music hits and she comes out to boos. She makes it halfway down the aisle when her music is cut off by "Dogtooth Violet" by Big Mother Thruster. Tough Enough finalist Taylor runs out from behind the curtains, down the steps, and knocks Ivory to the floor with a clothesline! Taylor grabs Ivory by the hair and throws her into the steel guardrail. Taylor then rolls Ivory into the ring and makes the cover...1...2...Ivory kicks out! Taylor pulls Ivory up and bounces her off the ropes. She goes for a clothesline which Ivory ducks. Taylor turns around and Ivory kicks her in the stomach. She grabs Taylor by the hair and drives her head into the mat. 1...2...Taylor kicks out. Ivory pulls Taylor up and backs her into the corner. She kicks Taylor down to the mat and starts choking her with her boot. The referee pulls Ivory off Taylor and Ivory slaps him. Ivory runs at Taylor who drop toe holds her into the second turnbuckle! Ivory gets up and stumbles backwards, right into a belly to back suplex. Taylor gets up and drives an elbow into Ivory's chest, then quickly repeats it. 1...2...Ivory gets the shoulder up! Taylor bounces Ivory off the ropes and telegraphs a back body drop. Ivory knees her in the face, then goes for a ddt. Taylor pushes Ivory off and Ivory bounces off the ropes. She goes for a clothesline, but Taylor ducks it, then throws Ivory to the mat by her hair. Ivory gets to her feet and Taylor kicks her in the stomach. Taylor lifts Ivory up for a powerbomb, but Ivory reverses it into a face plant! She holds the tights while making the cover...1...2...3!::

Joey Styles: She...she had the tights! Ivory had the tights!! What a crock!

Chase Cassidy: A who?

Joey Styles: It's an expression...

Chase Cassidy: Yeah, so is fu--

Joey Styles: Oh no! What is this all about? Here comes Ivory's friend...oh, this can't be good...

::Jamie Knoble walks down the aisle and looks on as Taylor gets up and starts firing back with forearms. Taylor bounces Ivory off the ropes. Ivory comes back with a clothesline attempt which Taylor ducks. Taylor then drops Ivory to the mat with a reverse ddt! Taylor starts stomping on Ivory and Jamie Knoble immediately slides into the ring. He sneaks up behind Taylor and grabs her by her hair. She screams and tries to get away as he shouts, "I'm Jamie BAH GOD Knoble! You will remember my name good!" Jamie slaps Taylor across her face to shut her up. He picks her up, then plants her with his tombstone piledriver! Ivory laughs, points, and yells at Taylor's lifeless body. The starts to choke Taylor as Knoble lays in a few boots. Out of nowhere, Josh Mathews slides into the ring! He dropkicks Ivory to get her off Taylor to a nice pop. Knoble goes to superkick Mathews, but Josh catches it. Josh kicks Knoble and nails him with an implant ddt! Josh checks on Taylor as Ivory tries to attack him. He throws her through the ropes to the floor. Knoble gets back to his feet, dazed and confused. Josh jumps onto the top rope and springboards off, catching Knoble with a hurricanrana sending him to the outside! Knoble and Ivory regroup on the outside, then head to the back as Josh helps Taylor up::

::"Knock, knock, knock"...a door opens and X-Pac appears. He steps in, then we realize it's Cyrus' Office. Cyrus looks astonished and frightened at the same time. He's all alone in the room::

X-Pac: Hey! Mr. C! What up? Nice little office you got here...

::X-Pac pulls an airchair closer to Cyrus' desk. He plops himself down and props his feet up on Cyrus' desk comfortably::

X-Pac: What happened to your lackeys Cyrus? You look to be all alone...

Cyrus: Well...um...uh...They'll be back ANY MINUTE now, so don't try to pull anything funny Waltman.

X-Pac: Oh, no...I would never do anything like that. Actually...I just came here with a simple request...

Cyrus: A request? Well, uh...that can be dealth with I'm sure...PROFESSIONALLY...what is it?

X-Pac: I've been here since Heyman restarted ECW...and I've had what? One? Two matches at most? I don't even know if they could count as matches in the first place. I don't know what's going on around here, but I'm not just going to sit back and watch everything on a television monitor. I want to be out there! So...I'm requesting this...no, not even requesting...I'm DEMANDING a match tonight. I don't care who it's against, I just want a match!

Cyrus: Hah...well...I just can't help you there. The card is full. Sorry, looks as if you're out of luck. Maybe next week okay? Yeah, next week could be a possibility...

::Cyrus pushes X-Pac's feet off his desk::

X-Pac: Heh...I don't think you understood me. I want a match, and I want it TONIGHT!

Cyrus: Sorry, no can do Waltman. Now, please, if you'd excuse me, I've got a lot of work to--

::X-Pac grabs the tie around Cyrus' neck and pulls Cyrus' face close to his own::

X-Pac: I...want a match...or ELSE...

::All of a sudden the door opens and Rhino charges into the room, goring the hell out of X-Pac! He gores X-Pac right into the armchair which flips over with the both of them. Rhino picks X-Pac up on his shoulder and charges out the door, driving X-Pac spine-first into the wall in the hall. He walks back into Cyrus' Office and the door slams shut::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! Did you see that!?

Chase Cassidy: GORE! GORE! GORE!!

Joey Styles: I can't say I blame X-Pac though...he's only been on television once during his tenure here in ECW.

Chase Cassidy: Well, it's certainly not Cyrus' fault if X-Pac sucks! Cyrus knows who gets ratings, and I can guarantee that X-Pac and ratings clash!

Joey Styles: Well, X-Pac was about to give Cyrus what he truly deserves until Rhino cause a clash of his own. Did you see him? Not only did he gore X-Pac basically through that chair, he ran him fullspeed into a brick wall!

Chase Cassidy: X-Pac got what he deserved Joseph, plain and simple!

Joey Styles: No one deserves that! I don't care who it is! Not even YOU deserve that!

Chase Cassidy: Joseph! I didn't know you cared! Come here you!

Joey Styles: Keep your distance Cassidy, I can call security anytime, and you know they hate you enough already!

Chase Cassidy: Hey! Don't bring that up! I didn't mean to clip their friend with the mirror of my car! That so wasn't my fau--

::"Sun Shining Down On Me" by Jackyl hits and the fans immediately begin to boo::

Chase Cassidy: OMIGOD! OMIGOD! oW oW!

::Chris Hamrick walks out on stage in front of E.Z. Money. Money wears his usual vest, tear away pants, bow tie, suspenders, sequin cowboy hat, and of course the ECW Television Title. They make their way to the ring where Hamrick gets a microphone from ringside. He hands it to Money in the middle of the ring who teases the crowd with a little bumping and grinding::

Chase Cassidy: OMIGOD, I can't believe it! *POP*

Joey Styles: Chase! Where'd you get that gum!? Oh no...

Chase Cassidy: What? E.Z. Money gave it to me before the show. You want a piece? It's this really good, new brand. It's called "B.J. Gum", you want some?

Joey Styles: B.J. Gum? No thanks Chase, I'll let you enjoy that...ALL of it...

E.Z. Money: AH HEM!

::Money tries to get the crowd to quiet down but to no avail::

E.Z. Money: Excuse me...AAAAAH HEEEM!!

::The crowd gets even louder than before. A huge "He's Got Herpes" chant starts::

Chase Cassidy: NO HE DOESN'T! No he doesn't!! HE DOES NOT! What is wrong with these people!? That's...that's...DEFORMATION OF NAME!

Joey Styles: Please tell me you said that on purpose...

Chase Cassidy: Huh? What's your problem Joseph? Panties in a wad?

Joey Styles: Chase, it's DEFAMATION of name...not--

Chase Cassidy: That's what I said! Now pipe down!

::Money and Hamrick are shaking their heads in the ring. Chris Hamrick grabs the microphone from E.Z. Money::

Chris Hamrick: SHUT UP! SHUT THE HELL UP! ALL OF YOU! SHUT UP!

::E.Z. Money grabs the microphone again::

E.Z. Money: Fine, you people don't have to listen. You don't know what's good for you anyway! I don't care, chant whatever you want, it doesn't matter! I'm the ECW Television Champion and that's all that matters! What are you people? I don't see you with any championship belts! All you people have are the belts you beat your inbred children with! Now, as YOUR Television Champion, I've faced stiff competition and completely destroyed everyone in my path. I've always loved a challenge, but no one here can match me! Face the facts!

Joey Styles: What is he talking about? He's been the T.V. champ for a whole two weeks!

Chase Cassidy: A very loooooong, strenuous two weeks!

Joey Styles: He's only defended his title twice! Yet no one in ECW is can match him? Right...

::The fans boo E.Z Money like crazy as he strokes his title belt::

E.Z. Money: Now, I came out here for one reason and one reason alone. I'm issuing an open challenge to anyone in the back who has the BALLS to try and take my title away from me! Come on, anyone, ANYONE! No one is a match for me! I want a challenge! Come on!

::"Breathe" by Prodigy hits and the fans aren't sure who's going to come out. A pale mannequin head sticks out from the curtains, bobbing up and down. Al Snow appears on the stage to a huge pop! He spins around in circles with Head in his arms. In the ring, E.Z. Money smiles. He brings the microphone back to his lips...::

E.Z. Money: ...YOU!?...Hah!

::Money drops the microphone and takes off his extra clothesline, handing them to Hamrick who exits the ring. Money dares Snow to get in the ring. Al Snow just stands on the stage staring at E.Z. Money blankly. The crowd chants "We Want Head! We Want Head!" as Al Snow runs down the aisle and slides into the ring. E.Z. Money starts stomping away on Snow right as he starts to get up. He pulls Al up and whips him off the ropes. Al swings at Money with Head, but Money ducks it and hits Snow with a dropkick. Head rolls to the outside as E.Z. Money gets on the ring apron. He waits for Al Snow to get up, then flips over the top rope and goes for the Money Clip. Snow catches him and drives him to the mat with a modified short powerbomb. 1...2...E.Z. Money gets the shoulder up! Al pulls Money up and crotches him on the top turnbuckle. Snow follows him up and goes for a superplex, but Money hangs on and pushes Al off. E.Z. Money gets to his feet on the top turnbuckle and Snow pushes him off! Money flies to the outside and hits the guardrails!::

Joey Styles: Smart move by Al Snow!

Chase Cassidy: Oh no! He could have cracked his sternum...or even broken his JAW!

Joey Styles: Oh, that would just SUCK for you Chase.

Chase Cassidy: Have a little compassion Joseph! You sicken me!

::Al Snow climbs through the ropes and walks over to E.Z. Money. Chris Hamrick grabs Head and taunts Al Snow. Snow flips out and starts chasing Hamrick around the ring. All of a sudden, WHAM! E.Z. Money flips over the guardrail from the crowd, and takes Al Snow's head off with the Money Clip! Money rolls Al into the ring...1...2...Al Snow kicks out! E.Z. has Hamrick slide a table into the ring and he sets it up. He pulls Al up by his hair and bounces him off the ropes. Al comes back and kicks Money in the face, then slams his head against the table. A "We Want Head!" chant starts up in the crowd. Al goes for a suplex near the table, but E.Z. Money blocks it. Money bounces off the ropes and Snow catches him with a flapjack onto the edge of the table whichs flips to its side. Snow pulls Money up, grabs him from behind, and crotches him on the edge of the table! Al Snow tries to find Head, but Hamrick is hiding it from him. In the meantime, Money sets the table up. Al turns around and Money goes for his release suplex, but Snow won't budge. Snow turns it around and lifts Money into the air, then drives him through the table with the Snowplow! Snow makes the cover...::

Chase Cassidy: ONE!

Joey Styles: TWO!

Chase Cassidy: NO! Thank god!

::Chris Hamrick slides into the ring and breaks the cover by nailing Al in the back of the head with...Head. Hamrick goes to the top turnbuckle and flies off onto Snow with the Confederate Crunch! He drapes E.Z. Money's arm across Snow's chest...1...2...3!::

Chase Cassidy: I can't believe it! What a match! E.Z. Money has done it again!

Joey Styles: What are you talking about Chase!? Chris Hamrick practically handed Money the win!

Chase Cassidy: You're dillusional Joey...you should really get that checked...

::Chris Hamrick gets the Television Title and hands it to E.Z. Money. The two celebrate in the ring. Al Snow grabs Head and the fans go crazy as he stands behind the members of Hot Commodity. Chris Hamrick turns around and Snow nails him with Head! E.Z. Money then turns towards Al and also receives Head!! Hot Commodity quickly scurries away as the fans cheer for Al Snow::

::Backstage...Dawn Marie is staring into the camera, standing by with Nova. She blows a kiss at the camera and bounces a little::

Dawn Marie: Oh...Hi, I'm Dawn Marie!

Nova: Yeah, that's what you said at Barely Legal.

Dawn Marie: Yeah, that's me!

Nova: It certainly is...

Dawn Marie: You've been feuding with...um...someone, right?

Nova: Yeah, that fool Kurt Angle.

Dawn Marie: Oh, is he that one guy?

Nova: ...Yeah, that's him.

::Smile smiles flirtatiously at Nova. Nova smiles back at her, then snaps out of it realizing he's got to say something::

Nova: He claims to be an Olympic "Hero" but all he's doing is trying to kiss the WWF's ass. I'm sick of hearing him talking about ECW isn't REAL wrestling, how it's trash, how it's nothing compared to the WWF, while he just sits back and accepts a check signed by Paul Heyman!

::While Nova is bashing Kurt Angle, Angle himself appears in the background. He holds a sign which reads, "Anti-ECW is the way to be!" He quickly disappears::

Nova: It's ridiculous, and I'm not going to sit back and listen to him anymore. At Barely Legal, yeah, he beat me, but if he thinks that's the end, he's wrong. I'm not done with him whether he likes it or not. I'm going to beat ECW into him!

::By this point, Dawn Marie is staring into the camera lense smiling. Nova stares at her then chuckles a little, shaking his head. She turns back to him and giggles, then bounces while turning back to the camera::

Nova: Well, I'll see you around Dawn...

Dawn Marie: That's me! Oh, uh, yeah you will!

::Nova leaves the seen and Dawn Marie watches him leave::

::Back to the announcing position::

Joey Styles: What is up with that? I think Dawn has a thing for Nova!

Chase Cassidy: No she doesn't! She's only got a thing for me! I'm hot! oW oW!

::Styles stares at Cassidy::

Chase Cassidy: WHAT!?

Joey Styles: NEXT UP we have a Tag Team rematch from Barely Legal. At Barely Legal Joey Matthews and Christian York viciously snapped Mikey Whipwreck's ankle in a chair, and Cyrus goes and makes this match for tonight!

Chase Cassidy: Cyrus is the man...he's always putting his personal opinions aside and doing what's best for business. Truly honorable...

Joey Styles: Chase, Mikey Whipwreck isn't even here! No one would expect him to wrestle just days after his ankle was broken in two! Oh yeah, Cyrus is truly honorable. So honorable that he's making Tajiri defend the Tag Team Titles BY HIMSELF!

Chase Cassidy: He's not MAKING Tajiri defend them by himself. It's not Cyrus' fault that Mikey Whipwreck no-showed!

Joey Styles: He's on the injured list! He didn't no-show you idiot!

Chase Cassidy: You're just biased Joseph!

Joey Styles: OOOOOoooh...I'm the biased one now...

Chase Cassidy: Mhmm...

::"Playing God" by Reveille hits and Yoshihiro Tajiri comes out with the Sinister Minister to a huge ovation. They don't laugh hysterically as they normally do. Instead, they look very serious. Tajiri tags a few fans' hands on the way to the ring, then quickly slides in, the Minister staying on the outside::

Joey Styles: Well, you can see the seriousness of this matter...it's written all over the normally cheerful Tajiri and Minister...Cyrus has certainly shown his true colors tonight more than ever. What a dispicable--

Chase Cassidy: You better watch your mouth Joseph. Cyrus is with the Office you know! He has the brass. I doubt you'd get any severance pay either with the terrible job you've been doing.

::"More Than You Are" by Grinspoon blasts through the speakers and the fans boo as Christian York and Joey Matthews come out onto stage with their Tag Team Titles. They make their way down the aisle and a fan throws his drink at York. York tries to jump the guardrail and go after the fan, but Joey Matthews holds him back. They make their way up onto the ring apron. Tajiri nails Matthews with a stiff kick to the temple, knocking him to the floor. York throws a punch at Tajiri, but Tajiri blocks it. He kicks York in the ribs, then dropkicks him, throwing him off the apron. Tajiri climbs through the ropes onto the apron as the Tag Team Champions get to their feet. He jumps onto the second rope and springs off with a huge asai moonsault taking out both men! Tajiri pulls Matthews up and whips him across the arena floor. The Sinister Minister nails him with a shot with his cane. Tajiri does the same with York, but York ducks the caneshot. He kicks the Minister in the stomach, looking for a ddt, but Tajiri nails him with a kick to the face! "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" Tajiri rolls York into the ring and makes the cover. 1...2...York kicks out! Matthews gets in the ring and goes for a clothesline which Tajiri ducks. Matthews bounces off the ropes and comes back at Tajiri. Tajiri throws him with an armdrag. When Matthews gets to his knees, Tajiri dropkicks him right in the face!::

Joey Styles: Tajiri is doing very well by himself this far!

Chase Cassidy: I hope you just jinxed him Styles! Haha!

Joey Styles: I hope not...

::York grabs a chair on the outside and gets back in the ring behind Tajiri. CRACK! Tajiri superkicks the chair into Christian York's face!! Tajiri hooks York's arms and locks him in the tarantula! Joey Matthews breaks the hold and sends Tajiri to the floor. Matthews springboards over the top rope, but Tajiri moves and Matthews nails the guardrail. He turns around Tajiri nails him with a kick to the head. Tajiri rolls back in the ring and walks right into a nasty chairshot from Christian York. York takes Tajiri over with a snapmare. He bounces off the ropes and flips over Tajiri, snapping the neck and driving Tajiri's face into the chair! 1...2...Tajiri kicks out! Christian York pulls Tajiri up and bounces him off the ropes. York kicks him in the stomach, bounces off the ropes himself, and nails a spinning neckbreaker. 1...2...Tajiri kicks out. York pulls him up again and whips him into the corner. Tajiri tries to float over York, but York catches him and nails him with a face plant. 1...2...Tajiri kicks out again! Christian York is getting a little frustrated now. He yells at the ref then grabs the steel chair. He swings at Tajiri, but Tajiri ducks. Tajiri goes for a roundhouse kick, but Christian York ducks. Tajiri turns around and York wraps the chair around his head!::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: NO! What the hell is that all about! Come on!

::Christian York pulls Tajiri up before the three count to tons of boos. York tags in his partner, Joey Matthews. Matthews goes to work on Tajiri with several stomps. Matthews bounces Tajiri off the ropes. Tajiri goes for his handspring elbow, but Matthews catches him with a double underhook. He nails Tajiri with a german suplex from that position and hangs on. 1...2...Tajiri kicks out! Matthews rolls Tajiri over and wrenches at his shoulder with an armbar. He pulls Tajiri up and holds onto him with a hammerlock. Matthews lifts Tajiri up and slams him down right on his arm. Matthews goes to the top turnbuckle and flies off with a legdrop, right onto Tajiri's shoulder! 1...2...Tajiri somehow kicks out! Joey Matthews is furious! He grabs the chair and starts smashing it on Tajiri's shoulder, over and over again. He pulls Tajiri up by his arm and tags in Christian York. York goes to the top turnbuckle and drives his elbow into Tajiri's shoulder while Matthews holds onto him! York grabs Tajiri and wraps his arm around the top rope. He holds onto Tajiri's hand while putting his own feet on the second rope, using his body weight as pressure!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! He's going to rip Tajiri's arm right out of its socket! What a disgusting move!

Chase Cassidy: What a BRILLIANT move I think you meant to say...

Joey Styles: No, I meant what I said Chase! Not only does Tajiri not have a tag partner, but he's not going to have much of an arm after this move!

::The referee yells at York who won't break the move. York finally has to break the move to be able to push the referee away. The referee cowers, but York grabs him by the hair. He tucks the ref's arm behind his back and bodyslams him on top of it! York heads back to Tajiri as Joey Matthews brings a table into the ring. York sets it up in the middle of the ring while Matthews puts Tajiri's arm across the bottom rope. Matthews holds the top rope and jumps into the air, crashing down on Tajiri's shoulder! Tajiri screams in pain and the fans boo. Matthews bounces Tajiri off the ropes and Matthews and York go for a double hiptoss through the table. They catch Tajiri on his way over though, and drive him through the table with their double powerbomb!! Christian York makes the cover, but the referee is still down. Matthews tries to revive the referee but it doesn't work too well. He pulls the referee over, grabs him arm, and makes the count for him! 1...2....no! Tajiri kicks out! York and Matthews can't believe it! Matthews goes for a faster count using the ref...1, 2, no! Tajiri kicks out yet again!::

Joey Styles: Tajiri kicks out again! What can they do to put him away!?

Chase Cassidy: Well, if that stupid ref would just do his job!

Joey Styles: York put him out of commission Chase! It's their own fault!

Chase Cassidy: Nuh uh!

Joey Styles: Matthews and York are finally paying for their cheating ways!

Chase Cassidy: They're not cheaters! You're a cheater! Cheater, cheater, pants on fire!

::York grabs a chair on the outside and gets back in the ring behind Tajiri. CRACK! Tajiri superkicks the chair into Christian York's face!! Tajiri hooks York's arms and locks him in the tarantula! Joey Matthews breaks the hold and sends Tajiri to the floor. Matthews springboards over the top rope, but Tajiri moves and Matthews nails the guardrail. He turns around Tajiri nails him with a kick to the head. Tajiri rolls back in the ring and walks right into a nasty chairshot from Christian York. York takes Tajiri over with a snapmare. He bounces off the ropes and flips over Tajiri, snapping the neck and driving Tajiri's face into the chair! 1...2...Tajiri kicks out! Christian York pulls Tajiri up and bounces him off the ropes. York kicks him in the stomach, bounces off the ropes himself, and nails a spinning neckbreaker. 1...2...Tajiri kicks out. York pulls him up again and whips him into the corner. Tajiri tries to float over York, but York catches him and nails him with a face plant. 1...2...Tajiri kicks out again! Christian York is getting a little frustrated now. He yells at the ref then grabs the steel chair. He swings at Tajiri, but Tajiri ducks. Tajiri goes for a roundhouse kick, but Christian York ducks. Tajiri turns around and York wraps the chair around his head!::

Joey Styles: ONE!

Chase Cassidy: TWO!

Joey Styles: NO! What the hell is that all about! Come on!

::Christian York pulls Tajiri up before the three count to tons of boos. York tags in his partner, Joey Matthews. Matthews goes to work on Tajiri with several stomps. Matthews bounces Tajiri off the ropes. Tajiri goes for his handspring elbow, but Matthews catches him with a double underhook. He nails Tajiri with a german suplex from that position and hangs on. 1...2...Tajiri kicks out! Matthews rolls Tajiri over and wrenches at his shoulder with an armbar. He pulls Tajiri up and holds onto him with a hammerlock. Matthews lifts Tajiri up and slams him down right on his arm. Matthews goes to the top turnbuckle and flies off with a legdrop, right onto Tajiri's shoulder! 1...2...Tajiri somehow kicks out! Joey Matthews is furious! He grabs the chair and starts smashing it on Tajiri's shoulder, over and over again. He pulls Tajiri up by his arm and tags in Christian York. York goes to the top turnbuckle and drives his elbow into Tajiri's shoulder while Matthews holds onto him! York grabs Tajiri and wraps his arm around the top rope. He holds onto Tajiri's hand while putting his own feet on the second rope, using his body weight as pressure!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! He's going to rip Tajiri's arm right out of its socket! What a disgusting move!

Chase Cassidy: What a BRILLIANT move I think you meant to say...

Joey Styles: No, I meant what I said Chase! Not only does Tajiri not have a tag partner, but he's not going to have much of an arm after this move!

::The referee yells at York who won't break the move. York finally has to break the move to be able to push the referee away. The referee cowers, but York grabs him by the hair. He tucks the ref's arm behind his back and bodyslams him on top of it! York heads back to Tajiri as Joey Matthews brings a table into the ring. York sets it up in the middle of the ring while Matthews puts Tajiri's arm across the bottom rope. Matthews holds the top rope and jumps into the air, crashing down on Tajiri's shoulder! Tajiri screams in pain and the fans boo. Matthews bounces Tajiri off the ropes and Matthews and York go for a double hiptoss through the table. They catch Tajiri on his way over though, and drive him through the table with their double powerbomb!! Christian York makes the cover, but the referee is still down. Matthews tries to revive the referee but it doesn't work too well. He pulls the referee over, grabs him arm, and makes the count for him! 1...2....no! Tajiri kicks out! York and Matthews can't believe it! Matthews goes for a faster count using the ref...1, 2, no! Tajiri kicks out yet again!::

Joey Styles: Tajiri kicks out again! What can they do to put him away!?

Chase Cassidy: Well, if that stupid ref would just do his job!

Joey Styles: York put him out of commission Chase! It's their own fault!

Chase Cassidy: Nuh uh!

Joey Styles: Matthews and York are finally paying for their cheating ways!

Chase Cassidy: They're not cheaters! You're a cheater! Cheater, cheater, pants on fire!

::Matthews pushes the remains of the table out of the ring just as York bounces Tajiri off the ropes. Tajiri comes back and goes for a body scissors, but York holds onto him. He spins Tajiri around and Matthews drops Tajiri with a shoulder cutter! The referee starts moving again. Christian York makes the cover...1......2.......::

Joey Styles: Tajiri kicks out! Tajiri kicks out!

Chase Cassidy: Now there's your real cheater! I boo in his general direction! Boo!

::York tags in Joey Matthews. He picks Tajiri up and nails a shoulderbreaker. He bounces off the ropes and steps right on Tajiri's face. The crowd boos him and he yells right back at them. While he's distracted by the fans, Tajiri gets to his feet! Matthews turns around and Tajiri nails him with a kick to the side of the head! Tajiri starts unloading on Matthews with kicks but York is soon in the ring and attacks Tajiri from behind. Christian York drops to one knee and drapes Tajiri's arm across it. Matthews climbs to the top and nails an elbowdrop right onto Tajiri's shoulder! He makes the cover...1...2...Tajiri barely kicks out!! Matthews gets up and yells, "That's it!" Christian York grabs the chair in the ring and opens it, then shuts it around Tajiri's shoulder. He goes to the top turnbuckle and Joey Matthews climbs up there with him::

Joey Styles: Oh no! Don't do this!

Chase Cassidy: Do it! DO IT!

Joey Styles: This is how they broke Whipwreck's ankle, they're going to do the same to thing to Tajiri's shoulder! This is horrible! I can't watch this!

::Christian York goes to suplex Matthews onto the chair, but Tommy Dreamer pulls Tajiri out of the way! The fans go absolutely nuts! Matthews hits the canvas hard! Dreamer rolls into the ring and nails York with a huge superplex! Matthews tries to attack Dreamer, but Dreamer fends him off. He drives Matthews into the mat with a quick ddt, then gets the chair off of Tajiri's arm. He waffles York with it and then Matthews! Tommy backs Joey Matthews into the corner and wails away on him with rights and lefts. Christian York attempts to attack Tajiri, but Tajiri scoops him up and locks him in the tree of woe. Tajiri props the chair against his face and goes to the opposite corner of the ring. The fans go crazy as Tajiri rushes across the ring and kicks the chair into Christian York's face! Tajiri turns around and Dreamer has Matthews set up for the same move already! Tajiri charges and kicks the chair into his face to a huge pop. "E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" Christian York gets to his feet and runs at Tajiri and Dreamer. They throw him over the top rope and he crashes through the time keeper's table! "E-C-DUB!" Joey Matthews dropkicks Tajiri from behind knocking him through the ropes. Tommy turns around and picks Joey up onto his shoulders. He drives him head-first into the mat with the Spicolli Driver! 1...2...3!!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Chase Cassidy: No way! That's impossible!

Joey Styles: They've done it! We've got new ECW Tag Team Champions!!! I can't believe it!

Chase Cassidy: Neither can I Joseph! This is wrong! Matthews and York were screwed, screwed I tell you! Tommy Dreamer wasn't even in the match! This is horrid!

Joey Styles: Be that as it may, Tajiri and Tommy Dreamer are the new champions! These fans are going crazy!!

::"E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!" echoes through the crowd. Tajiri climbs back into the ring. He and Tommy embrace as they're handed the ECW Tag Team Titles. Dreamer screams, "E-C-Fuckin'-W!"::

Voice: EXCUSE ME! EXCUUUUUUUUUSAH MEEEEEEE!

::Deafening boos come as soon as the voice is heard. Cyrus steps out from behind the curtain::

Joey Styles: Oh great, just what we need!

Chase Cassidy: My sentiments exactly Joseph! Cyrus! oW oW!

Cyrus: Excuse me! EXCUSE ME, QUIET DOWN! NOOOOOOW!

Joey Styles: Cyrus always has had his special way with the fans...

::"Cyrus Sucks! Cyrus Sucks!" chants erupt::

Cyrus: Hey, SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE! I'm with the Office damn it! Give me the respect I deserve! Tommy Dreamer...just what the hell do you think you're doing!? I don't believe you were in this match!

::Dreamer yells at Cyrus from the ring, showing his new championship belt as "ASSHOLE!" chants start up::

Cyrus: Oh yeah, good old Tommy Dreamer making the save, huh? Good old Tommy Dreamer helping poor Tajiri out, right? Yay, yay I say for Tommy Dreamer the babyface. Always watching for you image right Tommy? Always looking out for yourself! I know your true motives Tommy! You're just as selfish as all the rest of these fans. You just want to make yourself look good! Well guess what Tommy...guess what! Tonight isn't the night for it, oh no. Tonight, you're not going to make yourself look good. And you're not going to make me and my Office look BAD EITHER! You see, you weren't signed in this match...you weren't signed...and this was an official rematch. Look, I've got it right here, the signed contract. Your name isn't on there Tommy!

::Cyrus holds up his clipboard with the contract on it::

Cyrus: So I hate to disappoint you Tommy, and I hate to disappoint all these fans, and I hate to disappoint your little slant eyed friend there...but you and Tajiri didn't just win the Tag Team Titles! You weren't in the match, you can't win the titles! This match is officially thrown out, I've signed the papers already, Tajiri and Whipwreck are not signed to get another rematch, and you are not a Tag Team Champion!

Joey Styles: I can't believe he's doing this! What a jerk! Everyday...Cyrus reassures me of how much I hate him!

Chase Cassidy: You're just jealous!

Joey Styles: OF WHAT!?

Chase Cassidy: Just look at him!

::The fans boo like crazy and start throwing their beverages at Cyrus who is still standing on the stage. Christian York and Joey Matthews climbs up the stairs and stand by Cyrus::

Cyrus: Get me those Tag Titles. Yeah, bring them to me right now!

::A crew member brings the titles back to York and Matthews::

Joey Styles: I...I still can't believe this...can he even do this!?

Chase Cassidy: Of course he can do this! He's the Commissioner for Cade's sake! Besides, it's not his fault Tommy Dreamer and Tajiri cheated!

Cyrus: Ladies and gentlemen...STILL your ECW Tag Team Champions, Office members Christian York and Joey Matthews!!

Chase Cassidy: YES! There is a God! And his name is Cyrus!

Joey Styles: Oh please! What a shame! This is horrible! What a terrible abuse of power! Cyrus is an asshole!

::York and Matthews hold their belts in the air and the fans chant "Cyrus sucks!" some more. Tommy Dreamer and Yoshihiro Tajiri stand in the ring in disbelief, Tajiri holding his shoulder. Cyrus smiles on the stage and waves curteously to all the fans in the arena::

Cyrus: Oh...and guess what! I have a little surprise for you guys! Enjoy it!!

::Cyrus turns around and walks off the stage, the Tag Champs walk down the aisle towards Dreamer and Tajiri. Dreamer turns around and...GORE! GORE! GORE! Rhino gores the hell out of him!::

Joey Styles: OH MY GOOOOOOD! WHERE THE HELL DID RHINO COME FROM!?

::Tajiri turns around and Rhino gores the hell out of him as well! Matthews and York grab chairs and climb into the ring, then Raven and Stevie Richards run out to a huge pop! Raven and Richards slide into the ring and try to save Tajiri and Dreamer, but to no avail. York and Matthews immediately take them out with chairs, then Rhino gores Raven right into Stevie. The members of the Office pose over the fallen bodies as the show goes off the air::

Next Episode!