I know most of these are really bad, old, and just old jokes recycled, but they're making fun of townies so I whole-heartedly endorse them. Damn I hate townies.
Q. What do you call a townie in a box?
A. Innit.
Q. What do you call a townie in a filing cabinet?
A. Sorted.
Q. How can you tell a female townie virgin?
A. She can run faster than her brothers.
Q. What do you call a townie on a bike?
A. A theif
Q. What do you call a townie in a car?
A. Arrested
Q. What do you call a townie waiting in a bus shelter?
A. At a party.
Q. What do u call a townie alive?
A. Fucking lucky!
Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?
A. Failed.
Q. What do you call a 12 year old townie girl?
A. Pregnant.
Q. How do townies increase their rep?
A. Buy another stripe: ("Oi mate I got 4 stripes mate you've only got 3 mate, pukka!!")
Q. What do you call a townie girl without any children?
A. Under the age of 5.
Q. What do you call a townie in a skatepark?
A. Lost.
Q. Why did the townie cross the road?
A. To punch someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
Q. What do you call a female townie with D-Cups?
A. Unusually rich.
Q. Whats a townies favourite car?
A. One without an alarm.
Q: Why did the Townie stare at the carton of Orange Juice?
A: Because it had 'concentrate' on it.
Q. What do you say to a townie in a suit?
A. Will the defendant please stand.
Q. What did the little towny say to the bigger towny?
A. Can you get served?
Q. Why do townies constantly rev their engines?
A. So they don't cut out.
Q. What do you call a townie in a jar of honey?
A. Sweet!
Q. What do you call a townie in a coffin?
A. A damn good reason to kill another.
Q. What do u say 2 a boy racer when he is circling?
A. Are you lost?
Q. Why did the townie shag the chicken?
A. He couldn't find any other breast meat.
Q. What do you call two dead townies?
A. A good start to the day.
Q. What do townies use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. What do you say to a townie with a job?
A. Can I have a Big Mac please?
Q. What is a townies favourite ice cream?
A. Mint!
Q. Whats the difference between a dying townie and an onion?
A. Onions make you cry.
Q. What have townie girls got in common with turtles?
A. When they're on their back they're fucked.
Q. What happens to a thought in a townies head?
A. It dies of loneliness.
Q. How does a townie girl turn the lights off after sex?
A. She closes the car door.
Q. How many townies does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 5. 1 to put it in, the other 4 to tell him "innit, innit, innit, innit".
Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?
A. Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.
Q. How do you get a hundred townies in a phone box?
A. Paint three stripes on it.
Q. What do you call a townie wearing shoes at night?
A. A night light.
Q. Whats the difference between a dead fox and a dead townie in the road?
A. The dead fox has skid marks infront of it.
Q. What do you call a townie in hell?
A. Wicked.
Q. WHat do you call a townie in a fridge?
A. Chillin'.
Q. What do you do if you run a townie over?
A. Slip it into reverse just to make sure.
Q. What do you call a townie in an iron box?
A. Saphe.
Q. How do you give a townie lime disease?
A. Give him a "Nike" tick.
Q. What do you do if you shoot a townie?
A. Reload.
Q. What do you call a townie in a blender?
A. Mush.
Q. What do a war veteran and a used townie condom have in common?
A. They both live to fight another day.
Q. What do you call a townie with his legs stuck down a drain?
A. Gutted mush.
Q. What do you call a townie girl and a townie boy in a phone box?
A. Fucking innit.
Q. Why did that townie go to prison?
A. He got caught stealing pens to apply for his dole cheques with.