This is the real deal.
The Big One.
The mother of all conspiracies...
WHY THE HELL CAN'T I REMEMBER ANY OF MY CONSPIRACIES!?!?!
When I first started building this whole site, I thought one of the main sections would be the conspiracy page. My mateys an I are always thinking up conspiracies, whether under the influence of alcohol or just random bouts of paranoia or insight.
What doesn't make sense, is that when I sit down at my puter, my mind goes blank. Same with everything else to do with my site. I swear if everything I'd ever thought up for it had been put on I'd easily have exceeded the 20 mb I get with angelfire. It's insanity.
Even since building the site, I've come up with craploads of conspiracies. But no, for some reason I just CAN'T REMEMBER THE BASTARDS! ARRRRRRGHH!!!!
There is only one explanation.
................
Microscopic goblin-submarines living in my computer.
It all makes sense. Think about it. Whenever I come near my computer they fly out of the A-Drive in their magic submarines, infiltrate my head via the middle finger on my left hand, go directly to my brain an do their goblin mojo to make me forget.
But why you ask? I'm not sure, though I have my suspicions...
Suspicion 1: The UN is onto me, and out to stop me.
Suspicion 2: Mark and Steve are secretly trying to inhibit/possibly kill me. They might be robots. Definately in it with the goblins Shall have to watch them.
Suspicion 4: This is actually the Matrix, and it's malfunctioning. Now watch me get sued by Warner Bros or whoever the hell made the Matrix.
Suspicion 5: Aliens. Plain and simple. Using some kind of inter-galactic mind controlling technique, being bounced off Pluto, off the Moon, through 11 NASA satalites and some old Sputnik majobby, into my computer, controlling the goblins and telling them what to do, explaining why I only get it near my computer. Tis so simple I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier.
Well, there you have it. Any other suggestions for possibilities will be welcomed in the address book. Please. I'm needy.