This conspiracy is another of Steve's masterpieces....
You many or many not have noticed that the conspiracies have so far been mindless dribble concocted while stoned or on the toilet that to understand you have to be either insane or god. But this one I’ve been pondering about for quite a while (that’s Steve not Jme, he gets enough praise and knighthood’s as it is).
I use so called 'anti'-dandruff shampoo to keep my brunet locks silky smooth and flake free. But you cant have helped but noticed the adverts were a fellow dandrufikite foolishly stops using the shampoo that’s got him the supermodel bird and the well paid job, so the dreaded white spots come back. Shock horror! - but not to worry, an annoyingly well-informed friend reunites him with the amazing substance and tells him that the 'active ingredient' - Hydroprolockcidedirivate needs to be used every day or his hair will become flaked and his life meaningless. You may have noticed that I have a few grievances with advertising as well, (more on that later - dam AOL lady) but my point is that are we to believe that the same race that put a monkey into space (I know we’ve put humans in to space too, but monkeys are sooo much cooler) and cheese in an aerosol cant make my scalp permanently speckless? Good point you say, while signing all your money over to me, but hang on if they made this amazing shampoo everyone would only use it once, then the market would dry up and their 1000 million a week would slump to just 100 million a week (boohoo). Its not cost effective to cure our scalp demosturisation syndrome is it? AD shampoo is soooo much more expensive than the normal stuff so I think this - the companies are never going to make this miracle cure for that exact reason. Actually my hair isn’t that bad its more of a paranoia thing, its when I start to think about other products, moisturising cream for instance, now that pisses me off. I have orful skin, I don’t no maybe I shouldn't wash wid battery acid and a porcupine, but the same reasoning applies, why do we have to keep using it. Grrrrrr. A well never mind eh.
I have a lot more to say on this subject but Jennifer LOpez and Beyonce Knowles are waiting taa taa. Oh watch this space for an up date, no really I mean it, put your life on hold and watch it.
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