Here are just some quick translations, that all Yanks should learn by heart.
Sidewalk = Pavement
Elevator = Lift
Trash = Rubbish
Bum = Tramp
Ass = Arse
Eggplant = Aubergine
Mom = Mum
Recess = Break/Lunchtime
Pronunciation:
As previously said, pronunciation MUST be worked on. Try these few things to say, and maybe over time your psyche will mutate to allow you to do and say these things...either that or you'll all dissolve into goupy puddles...
Lever - not "lev-ver", but "lee-ver".
Herbs - not "erbs", but "herbs". Simple really.
Aluminium - not "al-loo-min-um", but "alu-min-ium".
Tomato - not "toh-may-toh", but "toh-mar-toh".
Process - not "prar-cess", but "pro-cess".
Semi - not "semMI", but "semmy".
Anti - not "an-TI", but "an-ty.
Superb - not "su-poib", but "su-perb". Hehehe.
Route - not "rowt", but "root".
Things just NOT to say:
Jerk.
Freshmen.
Schmuck.
Garbage.
Prepy.
Kindergarten.
STOP ENDING YOUR SENTENCES IN QUESTIONING, RAISED TONES! IT'S BLOODY ANNOYING, AND EXTREMELY CONTAGIOUS!!!!!!!
SAME GOES WITH 'like'. IT GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN!!!!!!EVILLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!
The following text are basically things I wrote for the main page, but they seemed to fit in here.
I am back from my holidays and here is my decree:
New York; some impressive buildings, Central Park rules, everyones got a hedgehog lodged in their colon and hates YOU because of it, the whole place smells like a sewer in laxative week.
Canada; excellent, the air and streets are clean, the people are nice, the place is well maintained - basically it's like America but good.
Boston; alright place, good parts, people are nicer than New York, an the pavements are nice and wide and clear, though places are a bit run down. One thing, two different tour operators called it a (and I quote) "medieval city" and and "ancient city". Ahem.
Look, oh yes, I am the best, I have found a site about Canine Acupuncture! Serious, check it out...
I got informative email today yada yada yada someone has signed your guestbook. I laughed so much when I found:
" I DIDN'T APPRECIATE THE AMERICAN JOKE!!
THE USA ROCKS! AMERICAN PRIDE, MAN!
DON'T TREAD ON ME!!"
I really don't know where to start....I don't think I'll say anything about America, because I think I've done that a lot, and this guy isn't actually being insulting or anything, just patriotic (to the point of insanity??). Well, firstly, that's what it is: a JOKE. Gee, if you're the subject of the joke you don't have to appreciate it, just take it lightly, you know? Don't go shoot all your classmates or whatever....Lastly, don't tread on you? What does that mean? That's the bit that made me laugh really...I tried to imagine a shoe big enough....lol once again I am kidding :)