I realised how much I love bitching about people, and was looking through my site when I realised I actually had quite a few half decent bitches lying around. So, instead of cluttering up the other pages, I thought I'd make a new page, dedicated to that immensely stress-relieving activity that is to bitch. Yay :D
This extract was written in my guestbook by a certain Simon Gostiev, who is an extreme pillock...but anyway, that's explained later...Anyway, he wrote this comment when the site was about 2 days old an must have had about 3 pages on it, which makes his comments all the more random, and him much more a leper. No offense to lepers.
"I can tell from your "naff" website that you are a kiddie. Im guessing 10-11 years old. Why do u feel u must act this way? what are proving?"
To which I replied:
"This is a reply to Simon Gustieov (who didnt leave his email address?). Im 15 actually, whether that qualifies as kiddie with you Im not especially bothered. What the hell do you mean? Im not trying to 'prove' anything, and Im not acting anyway - Im simply voicing my opinions on various things. If you're too small minded and dare I say, absolutely brain dead that you cant appreciate my right to exist as I do, I suggest you just lick a plug socket. Do you realise its people like you that bring down the human average humour/acceptance level. I bet you think your sooo smart and perceptive, drawing absolutely irrelevant conclusions based on nothing. I bet you even like smooth peanut butter. Your an idiot. Go away."
I then got bored, and also added:
"I got bored so I thought Id make fun of Simon Gostiev some more. Im gonna do what he did-make completely vague and random assumptions based on the littlest info ever. Ok Simon, let me guess. Your an old man, somewhere between late middle age and dying. You got sexually abused by a goat as a boy, and mentally repressed by your parents, who branded 'PRAISE' on your lower back as a baby, scarring you a weiner for life. After a childhood of being bullied for having no left nostril, you decided youd become a proffesional twat for a roaming circus. Then after stealing a computer of an Arab, you moved to Mexico, and started being dumb in people guestbooks. Damn I feel better :D"
Hehehe. That was a fun one.
I also got a very interesting read in the guestbook - aparantly an inmate had escaped from the National Insane Twat With Small Penises Asylum, and one managed to find his way to a computer, to add this entry (with his name as this site is shit, email as thissite@isshit.com...very original...must have LOADSA friends...):
"
Comments: what are u a baby!? this site has no purpose and therefore it is completely crap.
I mean "Dude List" do u think ur cool? "
So, I wrote:
"Wow. I feel very honoured today. One of the worlds biggest (hypocritical) losers has felt it needy to come to my site, and prove him loserdom by signing my guestbook. Read it, its all "oooh this site is so sh*t, it doesnt serve a purpose, my emails yoursiteis@crap.com" ... Oh My Lordy Lord. Did I not SPECIFICALLY SAY this site doesn't serve a purpose? By your reasong, YOU don't have a purpose, therefore YOU are crap. I am not a baby, you appear to be the only one showing immense immaturity and mental deficiency. Are you actually human? Do you have any major thought inhibiting/rectal sagging diseases? YOU'RE A MORON! You're such a little pussy you didn't even leave your name or email. Do you have nothing better to do then prove how much of a prick you are and how many deep set insecurities do you have by being absolutely retarded in peoples guestbooks? Could you make a half decent site? Can you even locate your microscopic penis? I didn't think so. Go die. In a hole. And rot. Loser. "
Oh, and I am cool, hehehehe. I also felt doubly good, when my good matey Stephen (check out conspiracies and quotes) backed me up in the guestbook with this:
"Oh my god! I'm sorry but last guy must spend so but time with his head up his own arse because everthing he sed was total and utter shit! Could u at least back up ur penisly challenged bitchings before u pull your head out and maybe notice that apart from being retarted, the fact that you were anally raped by many varitys of farmyard animals does not make ur comments ne less pathetic. Ever hear of 'constructive criticism' or doesn't it come up much in ur frequent conversasions with the hairy old men u sleep with? I do however feel sorry for u, most failures can surpress that crippling disire to be a total tool and confine it to self help groups. U do realise that sitting in front of a computer masterbating over ur dog doesn't give u the right to judge other peoples work, also the use of swear words does not make ur points ne more valid or ur penis ne less shrivled. And i am fully aware that i am contridicing my self but i feel it nessesary to sink to ur uniformed level to make my point. Now i feel dirty even talking about u so please kindly go and penitrate ur self with a tazer. tosser"
Hehehe. Way to go Steve.
The next one isn't really a specified bitch, but a general statement written in that kind of frame of mind, about some berk that signed the guestbook...well, you'll see:
"It has come to my attention through some random idiot in the guestbook that some people out there think Count Duckula doesnt have powers. Are you actually brain dead? Do you make a habit of snorting paint? HE TELEPORTS YOU LEPERS! He can read minds. He can move in super speed. CAN YOU BE INCARNATED IN A SECRET RITUAL? I THINK NOT! He even went into space in a lumber room. I guess some people were just cut out to be mentally sub normal (that means you). I had to delete that entry as it was just so randomly backwards, and made no sense. If you wrote that and are now angry, either throw yourself into on-coming traffic, or re-write it in understandable English."
Damn Duckula rules.
That's all for the moment (and that's quite a bit), but in time I shall be putting up just general bitches whenever I feel tense and want to insult something immensely.well,