Top ten ways to annoy your waiter
From the Late Show with David Letterman - Friday, January 13, 1995 with revisions made by John Insor.


10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.

9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"

8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"

7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".

6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"

5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.

4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"

3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.

2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"

1. Three words: eat the check.

Fun and Nonsense
check dis out Mr. Bean scrappy answers from a stupid jokes lolz.

see also the scrap pic of Mr. Bean.

POLITICS
Here are some reasons to dump Bush. A new reason every day. How handy.

thanks to weird corporate satan for that link.

SaN jUaN..... GRiNd aT tHe bEAcH
grabe kahapon enjoy! tinira namin yong alak na pinadala sakin ng aunt ko from Pampanga... don namin ininom sa beach inn... kami nina bro albert, bro arnold, ning2 and winnie g. then ginagabihan non pumunta kami ng tabing dagat kse may GRIND AT THE BEACH saka may band kasama ang brother ko sa band... sponsored by SMB. grabe ayos ang mga games... kaso medyo inantok me eh kse dami ko naring nainom saka umuwi me kaagad kse may class pa ako na 7:ooam....
pumunta pa me sa pier grabe may shaolin don he he he
yo! bro im about to pop off! peace out!

Appropriate Times
Top Ten Times in history when using the "f" word was appropriate:

-----

1) "What the f**k was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima

2) "Where did all these f**king Indians come from?" - Custer

3) "Any f**king idiot could understand that." - Einstein

4) "It does SO f**king look like her!" - Picasso

6) "How the f**k did you work that out?" - Pythagoras

5) "You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?" - Michaelangelo

4) "I don't suppose it's gonna f**king rain." - Joan of Arc

3) "Scattered f**king showers... my ass!" - Noah

2) "I need this parade like I need a f**king hole in my head!" - J.F.K.

And the number one most appropriate reason to use the "f" word....

1) "Who the f**k is going to know?" - Bill Clinton


thanks to mArTy