Somebody please tell me why I keep going out to see this shit? What the fuck's wrong with me? I mean I KNOW that a movie like this is going to be bad, yet there I am, sitting like an idiot in the theatre with a bunch of other suckers watching Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie smirk in unjustified, self-satisfied glory over themselves. I mean, Christ! Could these two people be any more overtly smug?

At least Brad Pitt was in "Fight Club" so that basically gives him a get out of jail free card for the whole rest of his career in my book, but man, has his star fallen since then. As far as Angelina Jolie goes, well, anytime she does a movie with her clothes on it's basically an insult to my intelligence.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is so mind-bogglingly cataclysmically bad that it's amazing the film it's printed on doesn't curl up and self-destruct in response to it's own self-loathing. Word is some jerk-off student at Columbia wrote this piece of shit as his Master's thesis. Now, I don't know about you, but I thought that Columbia was supposed to be a pretty good school. I hope they failed that dickless dipshit for dropping the bar for hollywood crap to a whole new and diarrheic level.

The movie makes a pretense about being about spies and all that good stuff, but it's really about marriage problems in modern American life. All the shittiest stereotypes and selfish behavior of our crappy, flawed society are celebrated and reinforced and as a result, on some subliminal level, people are going to watch this film and take it as a justification and reinforcement for behavior that is self-destructive and damaging to their own happiness. I'm just tired as hell of seeing crap like this.

Angelina Jolie spends the whole movie making a puckered up face that accentuates her already overblown lips and draws her features down into a mischievous glare. She seems to have a capability to toss out a look of such scathing disrespect that I wonder if it could be legally classified as a form of assault. Of course she tosses out this look indiscriminately for completely minor infractions.

I suppose this is the type of thing that most people aren't going to notice. She's got her cold beauty and all that, but she's just flat out disrespecting everybody around her in basically every scene. I mean if you have utter contempt written all over your porcelain, beautiful features all the goddamned time, eventually you come across as looking a little repugnant.

What's she being so damned dismissive of anyway? Is she pissed off because other people in the world don't have big voluptuous tits and beautiful lips? Are those the bounties that make her feel justified in placing herself above every other living creature on the face of the Earth? Just seeing that gets a little annoying.

Now imagine that Fydor Dostoevsky was in the room with Angelina Jolie. She'd take one look at his ancient, ugly features and decide that she was a billion times more valuable to society and proceed to simply disrespect him for the rest of the night. Never mind the fact that Dostoevsky wrote some of the greatest novels in the cannon of human literature. Never mind that he's influenced four or five generations of thinkers at the highest human level. Too bad big "D," you don't have big lips and nice tits so you're an inferior person.

God damn it, just when did an overly hormonal milk cow become the undisputed ideal of human potential?

And when did movies stop being about actors and stories and start just being showcases for physically beautiful people? I mean, that used to be called "pornography" and it was rightfully reviled for the crap that it was (not that we don't watch it, it's just that we don't presume to call it "art").

Were it not for the physical beauty of the actors of "Smith" the movie would completely collapse. Don't believe me? Just imagine the same movie with Paul Giamatti and Kathy Bates as the leads. Of course if they did that then they'd have to re-envision the whole thing from the top down and it might have actually turned out good. It would then have had to be a character study of interesting people because the director would have known he couldn't justify his idiotic situations and dialogue just by having them be said by beautiful people?

What the hell kind of weird magic do beautiful people have anyway? You could make a public service announcement of Tom Cruise coming out in favor of Genocide and it would convince a good percentage of the population. What a load of shit. Imagine having been born so physically beautiful that you were just given a major place as a player in the social interactions of your day by default.

Oh, and recently Angelina Jolie went out and adopted an AIDS baby in a big show of propaganda to demonstrate how compassionate she is. Big fucking deal. That's like throwing a handful of sand on the beach. She's got this major position in the world and is able to actually bring about major, radical change that might actually help millions of people and what does she do? She helps one person. Excuse me while I gag on my own finger in blatant disrespect and disgust. I mean, if she really wanted to help out, she could use her celebrity star-power to start putting some pressure on the Catholic church so that they'd lift their ban on contraceptives and, in turn, start using their great influence to spread the idea of safe sex to third world nations. By doing that, Angelina Jolie could potentially help out hundreds of thousands, even millions of people suffering from AIDS.....

But of course if she did THAT then she'd cause controversy and piss off Catholics in the US, many of which are her fans. And since this whole thing is about publicity for her, and she doesn't really give a shit about helping people....well that just wouldn't be acceptable.

Yet the papers eat it all up and give us all this free "beautiful person" advertising telling us how wonderful and compassionate these people are and blah, blah, blah.....

Dumb fuck idiots. It is in our power to change things, people just don't bother for the most part.

I once saw a saying that said: "If you don't suffer for your gift, it's not charity but vanity." That's something to think about.

The End