Relationships are a pain in the ass. This is one of those topics that people think of all the time. If it's not gender issues, or sexuality, or money, or health, there's some other problem fucking everything up. Plus, nowadays there are so many god-damned sources of evil influence that it's tough to find any kind of reasonable middle ground. There's always somebody out there whispering into your ear that you're a victim or that you're under-appreciated, all for the purpose of gaining your confidence only to later gain your money or sexual favors. It's hard to know who to trust or believe, and it's hard to maintain discipline when you know the next guy is going to come along with flowers and candy.

But really, can't we all agree that to achieve any kind of reasonable personal psychology, you're going to have to work hard, and suffer, and stay the course? This applies both to men and women: it's not always going to be cookies and cream, sometimes the person who loves you most is the one that's hardest on you.

Here's an example. The other day I was playing poker with my girlfriend and two other couples. When it came time to buy in, both the other men immediately hiked out their wallets and paid for their women. So, of course, when it came to my girlfriend, she had already been conditioned to look at me expectantly.

"Well, if I buy you in and you win, I get the money," I said.

"No, I should get the money because I had the skill that won the game." she replied. Both the other guys were squirming in their seats and pressuring me to just pay, but this was something I was going to be adamant about.

"No, my girlfriend is not a child. She is a strong woman who makes her own money and if she wants to sit at the adult table she has to play by the adult rules. It doesn't make any sense for her to play if she doesn't have something invested in the game, because then it's not poker, it's just 'look at the pretty cards.'"

Seriously, anybody who's ever played poker knows you can't beat somebody who doesn't care if they win or not. They just bet willy-nilly without any purpose and leave it all to chance. It sucks.

But of course, now these other guys were mad because I'd just called their girlfriends children (however, I've yet to see them buy themselves in, or turn over their money to their husbands if they win). Eventually my girlfriend just bought herself in and eventually won the game and kept the money even though I'd already bought her dinner.

Fuck...

But you know how it is. Later on she did mention the validity of the point and appreciated that I insisted she act as an adult. But, you see, in that moment of rage when I initially deny her tantrum and force her to act as an adult, she was furious, and would have gladly gone along with the first guy to acceded to her wishes.

See what a pain in the ass that is? Even if you're doing the right thing, and what is, in the long run, the best thing for her, she's going to resent you for it. It takes a strong, intelligent person to stand by their man even when they can't always initially perceive his logic.

"Hey doll, let me buy you in since the brute your with isn't going to..."

Somehow you end up the bad guy, when that phrase is the epitome of oppression.

I had another example another day when I left a tiny tip at a restaurant. Some guy was berating me Reservoir Dogs style about how I was obligated to give women big tips.

"I give old women big tips, I don't give young women any more than I would have given a man."

My friend recoiled in some pseudo-homophobic horror, but I waved that shit off and explained my logic.

"I read a stupid government study recently about how women make a lot more in tips than men do, especially when they sign their name on the bill and put little hearts over the 'i's' (men get greatly reduced tips when they do that by the way). Well, it's my belief that this whole phenomenon is the cause of the wage gap."

"What do you mean?" my friend said wryly, not really wanting to listen to me.

"Well, early on men learn they can't make any money as waiters. Therefore they save what little they can scrape out as waiters and use it exclusively to pay for college to become doctors and lawyers and such. Whereas women, who often brag about their ability to bring home 80$ or 100$ in tips a night, never have any reason to pursue higher education because they're already making enough. But when the looks dry up...poof...the men have superior training and make more."

"That's just absurd." my friend said, laying down a huge tip to a chick who had already fucked up our bill and tried to steal ten dollars from us.

What do you think? Was he rewarding her for good service? Or was he trying to bribe her into sex, and telling her she was worth a lot more than she actually was?

Fucking people...it's so obvious.

The End