A Case For Hate-Crimes Legislation:

Who amongst us hasn't at one point or another had an irresistible urge to kick the snot out of a mime? But there's no excuse for mime-abuse! This silent minority should suffer in silence no longer.

As it stands, murdering a mime can still get one the death penalty in this country, same as for killing anyone else. Senatorial wanna-be (great pension plan, looks nice on a resume) Ed DeVore doesn't think death's good enough for 'em. His plan would add to that by making it a federal hate-crime to kill a mime, because a mime is a terrible thing to waste! This may seem a bit like whipping a dead horse, but it's a foot in the door for punishing anti-mime speech and thought. Equality before the law is an antiquated notion, since anyone with a guilt-ridden conscience knows that some victims should be more equally provided justice than others.

Of course it necessarily follows that mimes cannot be guilty of hate-crimes against "talkers". The chattering masses cannot be oppressed because they are the vocal oppressors, holding hegemonic, harmonic power.

Feeling boxed in, many mimes believe they get nothing but charades and empty gestures from those politicians who'll say anything to get elected.

Finally the mimes will have a voice in Washington.

Ed DeVore: Speaking out for those who refuse to speak for themselves!!!

Entire contents copyright© 2000 by Ed DeVore

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