Crescendo is coming!
You walk down a hallway, barely lit and sparsely populated. You pass by countless doors, all locked and you have no key to your knowledge. Check your pockets to make sure. Who knows what you'll find. Finally, in the distance, you see what looks as though an end to this seemingly endless hall. Run towards it if you wish. Just take care, for you remember what your mother said about running. You trip, of course, when your foot catches on a piece of carpet. A small amount of blood courses from your skinned elbow and you wince from the pain. Ouch, indeed. With a confidence most find lacking, you stand anew and proud, your scar of experience attained. You make it to the end and face the final door, the only of its kind in this passage. Will you try the knob? Attempt to open it and behold on the secrets it contains? Are you frightened of what you'll find? I can only show you the door. You must make your own decision.I welcome you to my home. I am impressed you have gotten this far. Few do, as fear is a compelling deterrent. You must have nerves of steel. Well, on to other business. Please stay and look around as long as you like. Take care not to become too embroiled in what you find, though. People have been known to open the wrong door and make a mess of things. Perhaps you'll meet one along your journeys. Enjoy your time here. Good things don't last forever, miene Freund.
What I've Done Lately
Yet again, I've taken sweet old time updating my site. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what else is new? I thought you'd be used to this by now. Jeez. A lot has happened in the last five months. The biggest thing is that I've fallen in love. *sighes with glee* We've known each other for over a year now and this past April, I went to visit her and became smitten. I won't name names, cause she obviously knows who she is, I know who she is, and if you talk to me on an even semi-regular basis, I've mentioned her. I must admit she has captured a big piece of my heart. The best way to describe her? She'll disagree wholeheartedly, but she's a cross between Tina Louise (for those who aren't tv junkies, that's Ginger from Gilligan's Isle) and Betty Page (if you don't know who that is, you're pathetic. Why do I talk to you?) She's intelligent, witty, charming, polite, social, and she knows how to show a guy good time. NO! not that way. When I went to visit, we met up in Las Vegas and stayed there a few nights. It was fun to get drunk and gamble, but if I ever see another slot machine, it'll be a cold day in hell. Moreso, I just enjoyed being with her. That's the funny thing about being around her. She makes me feel content and at peace with the world; as though, I don't have a care in the world. This being said, I spent more cash than I had, but it was well worth starving the next week or so just to be in her presence. *smile* I'd do it all over again. One more thing she is is modest. I could write books about her (maybe someday I will) but I can get the feeling she wants me to shut up about her already and move on. haha.
Recently, I've come to a realization. Living here in Delaware has made me a bit stagnant. My days seem to blur together and I feel like my life is passing by. I feel as though if I don't do something soon, I'll blink and turn 50 without accomplishing any of the goals I've set for myself. I've gotten too comfortable where I am physically and as a person. I need to shake that up. I need change. Change can be good once in a while. Therefore, as of the end of the summer, I will be heading west to San Francisco, California. People have asked me "Why there?" It's true I have the whole world at my feet, but for some reason, all of my arrows point there. It's not something I can simply explain or define. How do you clarify your instinct? I just feel drawn there, like a voice in the back of my mind leading me the way home. I have a lot to prepare for. I have to find a place to live and a place to work. It's very scary. I sometimes lie awake at night thinking about the task I'm about to undertake. I have no allusions about the cliff I'm stepping off of. I'm giving up a lot of liberties that I take for granted right now. But for all of the problems that people throw my way about living there, I can counter them. I won't have a car, but SF is notorious for its excellent public transit. I will find a place to live. Anyone that knows me knows how resilient I am. I might have a job already working at the MBNA branch out there, but if not, I will find something. I refuse to give up just because I'm going to face a few hurdles. The hardest things in life are the ones worth doing. If they were meaningless, they would be simple. As I said before, it's scary at times, but to truly live, you have to do things sometimes that scare you. Look down all you want, there comes a time when you have to just jump. Otherwise, you won't know what you're missing. And if I fall down, I'll stand back up, dust my self and start over. Fortunately, I won't be such a stranger there. I already met some great people and they're ready to welcome me into their circle. I'll miss all of my friends here, of course, but this will give them a good reason to take some vacation (most of them need it) They'll always have a home whenever I lay my head.
Most of all, I'll miss my family. I've never been this far away from them, and that's something I'll have to deal with. I'll always love my father. If ever there was a hero or someone to look up to, for me, it's him. He's taught me so much about the world and life and the value of hard work, I'm forever grateful and proud to call him my dad. My step-mother IS my mother. She's always been there for me, which, despite unavoidable reasons beyond anyone's control, I cannot say about my natural mother. She's given me limitless love and support throughout all the time I've known her and she's molded me into the responsible and honest person that I am today. My little sister can be a big pain in butt sometimes, but I wouldn't trade her for the world. She looks up to me and I have tried to set a good example for her. I can only hope that I've been a half-decent role model for her, but I realize that she'll have to make a few mistakes along the way. Where ever I go, whatever I do, she'll always be a part of my world and she'll always be included in my life.
I'll make an effort to keep this page up to date (you can commence laughing now) We'll see. Perhaps the next time I write here, I'll be across the nation, hundreds of miles from where I am now. Only time will tell. Until then, take care and keep looking up.
Paltry Poetry
Missing Links
Shadow people
Salty Impression
Planetary Drag
So you wanna know me, huh?
Untitled short story
Dan Breslin: A legend among men
Farewell to Perfection
Movies you should watch and like!
Pictures
Story Ideas