Hello, welcome to my away message, how may I ignore you today?

I'm in the bathroom because I'd rather put up with my crap than yours.

Just say I don't know to .

On a scale of 1 to 10, I am a weigh.

I'm out this place like Ty-Dy shirts.

I'm out like Christopher Reeve in a game of Twister.

I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up a good portion of the screen. In fact, just enough to obscure your IM.

Today we salute you, Mr. All-Day Away Message. You live your life away from the computer with complete confidence that all your buddies know exactly what you're doing, and when. You don't hit that "I'm away" button until you've covered every  boring detail of your day since your last away message, right down to potty break updates. With obvious concern for your buddies of the nocturnal persuasion, you always end your day with a "sleeping" away message. Because with your little yellow notepad you say more than "I'm not here"—you proclaim, loud and clear, that you are not fit for life on this planet. So type up another semi-permanent away message Mr. Self-Absorbed, because next time we need an online newsflash, the last 10 minutes of your life is only a right-click away.

The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.

Bed, bed, and beyond.

Student Caught Reading Away Message, Feels Stupid

ONLINE - Around %d an anonymous student, identified by the online persona %n, is reported to have checked an away message, and then felt really dumb.

Apparently seeking an end to boredom or perhaps indulgence of information on a secret crush, the student acted rather nosily and could not help prying. "I just feel so lame now," the perp admits.

I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up all my free time and leaves no room for social interaction.

Remember the time I told you you were cool? That was opposite day.

Away. (But if I was as big as you, I'd probably give myself a weigh.)

My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard. And they're like, "You wanna trade cards?" Dang right, I wanna trade cards. I'll trade this, but not my Charizard.

Ask me about my away message.

Knock knock?
Who's there...
%n!
%n who?
Exactly what I was thinking too.

Not to be childish, but %n is a big fat dookie head.

Bitch ass, pussy ass, fucker ass ho.
I can use more cuss words than ya mama know.