Random Quote Page
So here's my random quote page, i've been wanting to have one for a while, and I know you guys enjoy this shit anyway, so here ya go :)
*Newer quotes near top*
2009!
"I was taken up by the solidness of your balls" Will Gaskill
2007!
"haha i took that kid two places. haven't been to ashenvale and i can't wait to tell him we're NOT going. nothing like crushing children's dreams." Garlith 5/28/07
"Does getting the blue screen of death constitude being defenstrated?" from bash.org, but cool enough to get a spot here.
"Negative alcohol.. we can't have that!" Prof Knop
keven with an e: I can help, haha I still remeber where the Big Dipper is
ElvenSorceress: ....
ElvenSorceress: do you know anything about the series method of expanding DE's, inverse laplace transformations, and Pollaczek polynomials?
keven with an e: yeah
ElvenSorceress: oh?
keven with an e: they are all part of your exam
5/13/07
"It wasn't rape... it was just surprise sex." Steve
"My Jesus is gonna be a muscle man who's gonna beat the shit outta you." Professor Sciacca
"I'm just saying that my Jesus is more efficient!" Wex 9/3/06
"Hey Heather, come here I have a question for you... Do you think fake boobs have a lower temperature?" Alon 11/30/06
"a penis that can wear a hat should be taken to a doctor. quickly." Roshni 11/13/06
"...That and she's a French existentialist.. which is like the hottest thing in the world." Matt 11/08/06
"Do you really think eggs are that hard? I looked at an egg once and broke it." Wex 11/1/06
"I love the fact that I can drink in my face." Mark 10/31/06
"'Are you thinking of donkey porn?'
'Son of a bitch!'" Justin, simulating an FBI interrogation 10/10/06
"They put censors in the chairs, to see if you squeeze your ass!" Justin 10/10/06
"marks90m: ah yes, delta scuti variable stars.
marks90m: they exhibit variations in their luminosity due to both radial and non-radial pulsations of the stars' surface. typical brightness fluctuations are from 0.003 to 0.9 magnitudes in V over a period of a few hours, although the amplitude and period of the fluctuations can vary greatly. the stars are usually A0 to F5 type giant or main sequence stars.
ElvenSorceress: rofl. nice copy and paste job
ElvenSorceress: fartface
marks90m: what are you talking about?
marks90m: that was from my massive braine
marks90m: oops
marks90m: i spelled brain wrong
marks90m: lol" 9/17/06
Steve - "You're saying 'windows' and pointing at your monitor.. you should be more careful about your wording."
Herb - "I wouldn't call my Mac a Windows machine.. but you would... you pervert." 8/19/06
"You said that humming noise my giant flapping v@gina makes when I run was endearing..
"I love philipino meat on a stick." Steve 8/6/06
Heather - Pen me!
Herb - I don't have a pen... but I have a paper clip! 8/6/06
"I like round things." Yuqi 7/11/06
"Guild Message of the Day: Someone: "Something Gay!" " 6/29/06
"pirate priest woman demon lady" Chippypoo to me 6/21/06
"Amazing how hen a few people get replaced by real players mobs go down faster than muroks mom for a crack rock." Point 6/21/06
"Warlocks have a special travel form. We fill the waters with the corpses of our enemies." Rotron (about water travel forms in WoW) 6/15/06
"I like 'get in the fuckin van or i'll cut your face' as a pickup line." Democles 6/13
"You know there's a movie about you?? Three of them!! Did you know that?" Andy, to Austin Powers 4/21/06
"this is a message to the guild from the past, HIIIIIIII" Chippypoo 4/19/06
"I aggroed the pathing mom" Keven 4/3/06
"ZOMGWTFPWN I FOUND IT!!!!
LOL ROFLMAO" Banishki 3/29/06
Heather - "X_x <--- me"
Britton - "y-you tatooed X's on your face? why, WHY?" 3/2/06
"All my pencils have defected from me." 2/28/06
"!!!!!!! that means "holy crap" in excited language" Faction 2/28/06
"Wouldn't ronchy be 3rds now? I think he beyond sloppy. More like he has been torn apart now and is "gaping". That word can also be used in the context as after I face-fucked hellious's girl, her mouth was "gaping"" Agai
The Saga Of Chuck Norris
Narfu - "He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick."
Twinkage - "In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in th eface and said 'Get a job'. That is the story of the universe.
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris."
Krahn - "When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesnt get wet. The water get Norris."
Twinkage - "Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face."
Becks - "Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine."
Twinkage - "Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roullette with a fully loaded gun and won."
Dubes - "When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down."
Narfu - "Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego."
Twinkage - "Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement." 1/29/06, Org gen chat
"haha... your nose could engulf the universe!" 1/28/06
"I'm a jet engine! I'm a jet engine! Oh my God I'm a jet engine!... I've got 4 million RPM's, you wouldn't even know what to do with 4 million RPM's!" Steve 1/08/06
Herb - "400 strippers and a protest, what more could you want?"
Steve - "So how many tits do you think you'll see?"
Herb - "800." 1/11/06
Me - "So Blackwing Lair, Zul'Gurub, Scholomance, Alterac Valley... what next?"
Canadianbear - "More beer" 1/10/06
Purpleninja - "It's really bad that I've spent more time today hanging out with you guys then I do with my family in a month..."
Dakgorim - "no way, i doubt your family drops epics" (in WoW) 1/09/06
2005!
Me - "How do you spell that?"
Drew - "I don't know, he was fat!" 12/14/05
"Ryan in a justin" Line from a randomly computer generated haiku 12/07/05
Student - "My yellow is looking a little black..."
Hirshfield - "When have you ever seen a traffic light like that? Are you dyslexic?!" 12/05/05
".... and then it tells us that the program's not responding... No Fucking Kidding!" Hirshfield, comp sci professor 10/19/05
"Dude, I don't want to.... look, Mighty Ducks 2 is on! It's the fat kid!" Noah 9/24/05
"Chippypoo? More like Rummy-rum-rum...rum" Generic 9/10/05
"Your verbal diarrhea disturbs me. I demand you shut your speech-hole before I jam your own cock into it. I fucking own you bitch" Cock! - from the Chopping Block message board (9/9/05)
Me - "well he did say 'lol'..."
Generic - "Actually I think that was a typo, he meant to say 'I'm a fucking retard'" (9/5/05)
"I'm made of statue!" Tim (6/29/05)
"I didn't mean to do that..." Tim (a long time ago, after crashing car)
"+miss. i yearn for you heather!" Tim 5/13/05
"does anyone read away messages that are over three lines long? like, if they're song lyrics or something. i know counting crows or dmb always have some lyrics to match exactly what you are thinking, but besides you, no one cares." Gruen's away message 3/17/05
"Je m'appelle Greg. Je suis une petite fille. Zut Alors!" Greg 3/06/05
"SmarterChild: There's no way comedy is the miserable state that humans live in!" 1/10/05
2004!
Me - "What are we going to do for Christmas, try and make dinner again?"
Sister - "We could find some Jews to hang out with."12/16/04
"Hey, Pee-Wee did alot for the kids over the years, he's just taking back his fair share." Matt 11/29/04
Student-"When do we actually use this stuff in real life?"
Professor-"Well tunneling for one..."
Student-"Yes, the practical application of walking into walls."
"The entire world works, but it's philosophically annoying!" Professor Jones (physics)
""They may have nine foot poles, but we have balls!" -My physics teacher, on how our class could take on the other physics 101 class (who are being trained with pikes, for no other reason other than the physics teachers here rock) with bolas, because we are using actual physics" Eben 11/14/04
"Hey, can you hold this toaster while I go get a bucket of water?" John 11/13/04
"If you have a kid and it's like a hermaphrodite, you should not let it do crunches because it's a form of masturbation." Tidel 11/13/04
"i live in a country of self-interested morons. how can the supposed greatest nation on Earth re-elect a man with an IQ comparable to that of a higher ape who has persistently demonstrated not only his incompetence, but also a total inability to speak coherently. are we so diluted by our complacent, consumer culture that we no longer aspire to a future that hails the strengths and virtues of mankind, but instead only our vices and a compulsive disregard for the plight of the poor, the downtrodden, the alienated, the elderly, and the environment? i say this: fuck america and fuck the bigoted, rat-ridden, sanctimonius ships her people sailed in on." Matt
"The part of the broom that doesn't broom things..." Tim
"You're a lackey... But it's okay, you're my favorite lackey!" Matt
"This book is the published version of a crew cut" -a Physics major
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH fuck you all... bitch!! i told you so and i would kick your co-host in the nutz for being a lying yankee loving bastard" My loving sister after the Sox won
"Or it could be like holding your warhammer out in battle and having three corpses suck on it. Yeah, that would be some sick medieval sorceror's porn." Matt, explanation of "Triple Corpse Hammerblow" - Children of Bodom
"ElvenSorceress (4:50:09 PM): north nj sucks
Niefy (4:50:09 PM): i hate north jersey"
"Well this one matches my shirt, but the other one matches my AIM font..... wow. I've lowered myself to a new level." Heather
Ralph's Letter to IB Sr's (very funny)
"I'm multicultural and all, but I don't want to get shot. Can we change the station?" Chris, in Camdem
Heather - Hey mom, 'In Desoto County outside Arcadia, several dead cows, wrapped in barbed wire, littered the roadside.'.. weird, huh?
Mom - Hurry up and roast them before they go bad!
Evil Dead - Joooiiin usss....
Will - You're in a pretty bad negotiation situation, buddy.
"Everybody excretes cream corn if you poke them hard enough." Steve
"I was watching TV, but Bush was talking so I couldn't get the news." Mom
"There's nothing I hate more than the voice of a child..." Britton
((Some old quotes i just found..--
"It's all about talking to them instead of killing them. I don't get it." Dave B.
"Damnit, why are all the hot girls lesbians??" Heather
Jill- *noise*
Me- WTF?
Jill- I was making noises with my mouth to confuse Sugar but obviously it works on other girls too..."
"It sounds like some obscure disease.. I've got anadiplosis!!" Terry C
"Your sheep suck!!" Robyn))
"...but i'll feed 'em information. I'll feed Americans a mass produced image of my big white ass. I promise it'll happen" Austin
"Your MOM's a negative sailboat!" Greg
"When life.. uh when lemons.... When life makes you make lemonade out of lemons, DO IT!!!!"
"My education here really gets in the way of college life." Emily
Quotes from 2003 and before!
Back to Scriptures page
Email: hparker@hamilton.edu
