Anti-Angst Cabal Quotes 2002

"So, we have Mr Blah Blah and Major Baka in the party. Have I wandered into the Three Stooges or something?"

"Gnome with an explosive crossbow, this does not bode well."

"CoD: Dirty deeds done dirt cheap. Ask about our special on assassinating geography!"
"You assassinate geography? So if I want a mountain dead, I come to you?"
"Pretty much."

"Eus is in the CoD, now."
"Why does it sound like we're saying 'Eus has passed away and gone to hell' when we say that?"
"Because he has?"

[OOC] Thirteen says, "So, as El was saying earlier.. who wants to take bets on how long it'll take till the first magical sex change?"
[OOC] Teran says, "I don't know when, but I'm betting it'll be Al. :)"
[OOC] Enola says, "And who's taking bets that it'll be on Al's character?"
[OOC] Valyros says, "6 sessions!"
[OOC] Binat says, "Four."
[OOC] Octavius says, "Hey, I should get Life 4 and prove you wrong."
[OOC] You say, "6? I think you seriously underestimate Tybalt's appetite..."

You say, "A warm glow fills your body as you are scanned, your bodies replicated elsewhere, and your original incarnations ruthlessly incinerated by powers no man should wield."
[OOC] Enola says, "Again...."

Spahk, "Well, we have a full crew, again, even though it's just Xilen replicated two hundred times. That and this strange, vaguely reptilian creature who says his name is Jar Jar, or something."

Thirteen follows Enola, leaving a trail of flowers that burst up only to die in the gas.

You say, "They lead you to the galley, which is in chaos as the Xilens argue over which recipe for distilled water is the best."

"Eventually, they manage to get organized enough to boil these hard noodles into a thin, salty broth for you to eat. (Ramen Noodles)"

Octavius says, "Are you 34 then?"
34, "For now. Until the next explosion, at least..."

"Okay, you have a Euthanatos as ship medic. Worried."

You say, "The Ramen Noodles begin to blossom."
Binat picks the flowers out and continues eating.
Thirteen says, "Is this standard behaviour for noodles?"

Binat says, "34 is a metaphysical source of purity?"
34, "Depends on who you ask..."

You say, "Octavius arrives in Replication Chamber 69."
Enola checks the wood to see if it's blossoming.
[OOC] Thirteen says, "I didn't think a 69 was useful for replication."
[OOC] Enola says, "Ewww...."
[OOC] Binat says, "Best birth control method there is."
[OOC] Octavius says, "Beside absentance"
[OOC] Binat says, "Well, yeah, but where's the fun in that?"
[OOC] You say, "69 - when you just can't manage abstinance..."
[OOC] Octavius says, "Good point"
[OOC] Binat says, "RU-469, birth control pill"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Rosy Palm and her five fingers. When you want an orgy, but aren't feeling sociable."
[OOC] Octavius says, "And so passed the first big sex joke."
[OOC] You say, "And as usual, it's my own fault..."

[OOC] Binat says, "Computer dice are better than real dice."
[OOC] You say, "You should see the evil ones on OGR..."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Have you managed to dominate anything since your prelude?"
[OOC] You say, "Dominate? I can't even lead a pack of starving wolves to fresh meat with nine dice."

Binat walks over to replicator and comes back with a bottle of bubbly wine.
Binat offers bottle to Enola.
Enola takes it. "Just smash it against the hull, right?"
[OOC] Enola says, "I have STR 1, there's a fair chance it'll bounce."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "If this was the CoD, you'd probably put a hole in the side. "
[OOC] You say, "Tempting...but no."

Meet Blossom:
Enola joins the others, carrying a stainless steel rat in one hand.

You say, "The rat speaks in a squeeky, unoiled voice, 'Greetings. I am Blossom. How may I be of service?'"
Enola says, "Good girl."
Blossom, "'Good girl' does not compute. I don't know how to 'good girl'."
[OOC] Teran says, "So much for Intelligence 5..."
[OOC] Octavius says, "Int 5 wits 1"
[OOC] Enola says, "Low Charisma, I guess."

You say, "Blossom's gears whir for a few seconds, 'Pleased to meet you. Would you like to play a game?'"
[OOC] Teran says, "oh dears."
Binat says, "What kind of games to you play, Blossom?"
[OOC] Enola says, "Not chess! That was how WOPR got started."

"Remember kids, always be polite to figments of your imagination.."

[OOC] Enola says, "Despite your efforts, I am NOT going to nuke anybody this session."

Enola says, "Which game?"
Blossom, "How about (whirr of gears) Quarters?"
Blossom, "I am also quite fond of (whirring gears) Call of Cthulu."
Binat says, "What is Quarters?"
Enola says, "Quarters will be fine. I have time for a quick game before I turn in."
Blossom, "Quarters - a drinking game played with shots of hard alcohol. The object is to bounce a coin into the glass. Failure to do so successfully results in increased inebriation."
Binat says, "Do you get drunk, Blossom?"
[OOC] Enola says, "Is she like Bender?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, ""Hi, I'm Blossom, and I like to bend stuff. *belch*""
Blossom, "(whirring gears) I do not get drunk. I am, however, fully capable of consuming and excreting liquids. Would you like to play (whirring gears) Quarters with me?"
Octavius says, "No, thank you. I would pass this time Blossom."
Valyros says, "If you don't get drunk, that would be quite unfair."
Binat says, "Better yet, can you flip quarters, Blossom?"
Blossom, "I could watch you get drunk. It would be (whirring gears) entertaining."
Blossom, "Does it matter if I lack the opposable thumbs required for quarter flipping? I cannot get drunk, therefore I will always win at (whirring gears and a soft thump) Trivial Pursuit."

Binat says, "It's my invention that will revolutionize hunting. It's a bow that doesn't miss."
Teran says, "How is that possible?"
Binat wiggles his fingers. "Magic."
[OOC] Enola says, "Oh God. We sound like an infomercial."
Binat says, "And a lot of luck."
[OOC] Thirteen laughs his ass off
[OOC] Octavius says, "Oh, God the horror!"
Teran says, "Can I get one?"
Binat says, "This one's unique, but I'm hoping to mass market replicas of it. "
[OOC] Enola says, "Yes, by sending $75 to this address."

Blossom, "Running a fashion self-diagnostic. (whirring gears) No, you are (whirring gears) preserving my feelings. The high heels are too much. I will return to my previous attire, now."

"Thirteen's sucking everyone's flower mojo..."

You say, "Blossom seems to have disappeared into the replicator room again."
Octavius says, "Blossom is such and intertesting rat."
-from the replicator room, "(bing) Replication limit exceeded. Please try again later."
Enola glances nervously towards the replication room.

You say, "Blossom comes back, wheeling one of those hotel luggage carts filled with overstuffed suitcases behind her."
Teran gapes at Blossom.
Enola says, "Your wardrobe?"
Blosssom, "Just a few essentials, you understand. There wasn't enough (whirring gears) juice left in the machine for the wedding dress."
Thirteen says, "Wedding dress...?"
Valyros says, "You plan to find the right golem one day Blossom?"

Blossom, "Master, could you give me a hand with my bags? I'm simply not designed for such physically (whirring gears) strenuous work."
Octavius helps Blossom with her bags.
Octavius has received your page: "They're MUCH heavier than they look."
Octavius pages, "Str 4"
Octavius oofs as he picks them up.
Blosssom, "Sorry about the weight. The menu included a (whirring gears) singularity. I couldn't resist."
Enola says, "Singularity?"
Octavius says, "Singularity?"
[OOC] Thirteen whimpers.

[OOC] Enola says, "With Blossom, we have two newborns on board."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "And aren't you glad neither of us went through a breast feeding stage?"
[OOC] Enola says, "With Blossom, that would be hurty."

[OOC] Octavius says, "The spare room is Blossom's."
[OOC] Teran says, "The whole SHIP will be Blossom's if we're not careful..."

"Does jetlag affect Elves?"

You say, "You wake up. The sun is a couple hours late in rising, but that's no great deal, because it intends to work a little later this evening. After all, it's only time we're messing with here."

Enola has received your page: "34 gives you a strange look, "I noticed you've made ample use of our replication facility. Why would anyone need two singularities?""
Enola pages, "Oh, they're not for me. They're for the rat."
Enola has received your page: "'Sure. That's what they all say. Hard to resist a singularity, isn't it?'"

Enola says, "Blossom, you said you needed a singularity for power?"
Blossom, "Yes, master."
Enola says, "What was the second one for?"
Blossom, "It's always wise to have failsafes. Besides, Mr. Right and I might have baby mechanical rats one day, and they'll appreciate the longer-life energy source."
Enola says, "Right."

Enola has received your page: "Not a cloud in the sky except a tiny black one far, far to the south."
Enola pages, "Say, that could wouldn't be dragon shaped, would it?"

You say, "The ship is making good time on this sunny day. Blossom spends most of the day lying on a (pool chair) wearing (mirrorshades) and sipping a tiny drink with a tiny lime slice in it."

[OOC] Enola says, "Does this cloud look like a dragon at all?"
You say, "Not even remotely like a dragon..."
[OOC] Teran says, "Or like a whale?"

[OOC] Binat says, "Mmmmm .... Turkey sandwich."

You say, "At last, the sun finally decides it is time to go back to bed. It does a little happy dance on the western horizon, sticks its tongue out at you, and then disappears into the twilight. As night falls, clouds rapidly move to cover the stars."

You say, "The sun decides to rise a little early today. Then it thinks better of it and sets back in the east again. An hour later, it jolts twenty minutes into the sky."

You say, "Blossom bounds up to Enola like a puppy happy to see her master and makes to jump into her arms."
Enola catches her. "How are we today?"
You say, "Enola, make a Str + Athletics check, dif 7."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Somebody needs to put her rat on a diet. ;)"
Enola says, "You've put on weight."

Blossom, "Spell four as in four wolves."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Blossom's AI comes from a speak 'n spell?"
Octavius says, "F.O.U.R"
Blossom, "You are right. Now, spell someone."
Thirteen says, "S O M E O N E"
Blosssom, "That is incorrect. The correct spelling of treason is H A S T U R.
Binat says, "Something's wrong with Blossom, Enola."
[OOC] Enola says, "Great. My rat has Cthulu Mythos 5."
Valyros says, "Blossom, do not say that word ever again..."
Thirteen twitches an ear "Your rat seems a bit hungover today, Enola?"
Enola says, "Are you all right?"
Octavius turns white at the speing of Hastur.
Thirteen says, "Whats wrong with the word Hastur?"
[OOC] Enola says, "I KNEW it."
Blossom, "Oops. I'm sorry. That's how you spell Hastur, isn't it? I've gotta remember that - Hastur Hastur Hastur."
[OOC] Binat says, "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice "
Eclipse rolled 1d24: 7; totalling 7.
Octavius says, "NO DON'T SAY THAT!!!!!!!"
Thirteen says, "Right. Hastur. What's wrong with Hastur? What is a Hastur, anyways?"
Octavius ducks under the table shivering.
Valyros covers 13 mouth, "It's the name of a very nasty spirit that will tear your body to shreds and devour your soul. He's also very.... Oh shite..."
You say, "A gateway opens up in the sky, but nothing else happens..."
Teran looks to see what Valyros saw.
Thirteen blinks "That can't be a good thing.."
Thirteen looks into the gateway
Octavius looks out at the opening.

Octavius says, "Enola did you put in a anchor?"
Enola says, "Somewhere."
Teran says, "We could always tie a rope to Blossom and drop her overboard.

Taking Quint from a Node in a mage's territory is considered on the same level as robbing a gun store would be in our own world."
"Robbing a gun store? You mean 'stupid'?"

Valyros says, "Well those six dragons are circling around our ship, I don't know if they're going to attack or not."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "You were saying something about wanting to meet Dragons earlier, Joe?"

Valyros waits with a little plushie dragon, still watching the circling reptiles.

<*> OOCly, Enola says, "This is why Light Sleeper has the best value for money of any Merit anywhere."
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "As Thomas Edison discovered."
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Yeah. No kidding."
<*> OOCly, Valyros says, "True."
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Chronic sleep deprivation is the mother of invention."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Works well for me. Get the long item creation jobs done during the night."

<*> OOCly, Enola says, "I need Arete 4 badly. I'm burning most of WP on critical checks and to negate botches."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "So little XP, so many shiny things to spend it on...."
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "Elf needs Arete badly?"

Valyros says "That was where I was captured and enslaved, it was a horrible time, the only friend I had down there was a Myshar who actually helped me escape. But he wasn't so lucky..."
<*> OOCly, 13 points at Valyros "Angst? In the AAC?"
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "If you don't want it, don't ask me about my past either..."

<*> OOCly, Enola says, "We're like wraiths. Angst builds up, backlashes, and before you know it, the cabal's Shadows are in charge."
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "We're turning into the CoD?"

<*> OOCly, 13 says, "We need more NPCs Eric! Val took the only available male PC over 5' tall, and I need someone to romance!"
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Bring Grus in?"
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "That would be Bad."
<*> OOCly, Valyros says, "Gar, the world's smartest orc?"

"The sun actually rises at a normal pace and time today - the order that proves the chaos."

<*> OOCly, Octavius says, "Hey, jsut because Oct is talking to Valyros desent mean there is going to me a romatic realtionship."
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Oct will do you all. Just get in line?"

Binat feels a lot better now that he can see the dragons.

"Argos, "His name is Ender, the leader of the Truthspeakers, if anyone can be said to lead them. Empowerment mages.' He sniffs slightly."
<*> OOCly, 13 twitches "Ender Wiggin?"
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Would I do that to you?"
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "Yes."
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "Yes. Leader of the TRUTHSPEAKERS?"
<*> OOCly, Octavius says, "Thankfully I have no clue what you guys are talking about."

Teran steps to the ground.
Binat follows Teran.
13 steps down and offers Argos her hand "Hi! My name's Thirteen."
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Let the Locomotion Line of Death begin."
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "It's called lemminging."

"Argos, 'Pleased to meet all of you. I am sorry about your fallen comarades. Now, about this gathering. You say you've made contact with 34? And Tybalt has been seen womanizing in Vale, so he's here for the party, too. Ender's here, and Rashna has seen the wisdom of sealing the Sun Realms and banishing the daemons."
"Argos, 'I guess all that remains is to agree on a ritual to incorporate all our magic simultaneously."
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "2 paradigms of Faith, and 1 each of Method, Motive, and Empowerment. This could be interesting..."

Getting Archmages to work together will make you eager to herd cats:
"Rashna, "Of course there's something wrong. This martyred colleague of mine thinks he should be the one to organize us. The entire planet and all its living things support my power, while he relies only on the gods.""
Argos smiles, 'I believe he was talking about me. I don't seek to control my colleagues. I merely believe some chain of command needs to be established, and I trust my own abilities to run an organizaion smoothly and effectively.'
Rashna, 'You must understand, Enola, that only one mage can be the centerpoint of this ritual. We will all be at his mercy for its duration."

Teran says "Perhaps you should let Fate decide? All five of you draw a straw, the shortest one leads the ritual?"
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "With Archmasters of Entropy round the table?"
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "Says the Euthanatos..."

Tybalt appears wearing (mirrorshades), "I didn't think you'd figure it out so quickly."
13 watches Tybalt with amusement "He's one of the Tanaks that have to lie, isn't he?"
13 pages: I. Will. Seduce. Tybalt!
Tybalt smiles and winks, "Not at all. If I had to tell lies to the ladies, I'd never get any."

Tybalt, "Would you like me to lie to you? If I was a Truthspeaker like my colleague, here, I wouldn't tell you to fall in love with me."
13 chuckles "You're a very amusing fellow."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Who volunteers to be Tybalt's focus now?"
You say "Ender, 'You need to think about more important things than sex, Tybalt.'"
Octavius mutters, "Tell me about it.
Teran is puzzled, trying to work out the negation of a conditional.
Teran says "(to 13) I may have gotten lost, but I think he's just ordered you to fall in love with him."

Tybalt, "I can't make us be in two places at once, young woman. If I could, I wouldn't be able to make love and discuss this ritual simultaneously."
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "lol!"
13 gives him a wink "We'll talk about interpersonal relationships later then."
Tybalt, "I'm sure Octavius has no desire for a threesome."
Octavius says "I think he just propstioned you."
13 works out what he says "Two places at once? Now that'd be interesting.."
You say "Tybalt, "Or Enola and Valyros could decide not to join in and make it a true orgy. It might not get Rashna and Argos to be less uptight."
Octavius looks at Tybalt and doesn't know what to say. He just blushes in embaressment
"Tybalt, "Hey now, there's not enough of me to go around."<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Question - How do you find out if a mage with lots of Correspondence is cheating on you?"

<*> OOCly, 13 says, "..... Tybalt is also a Master of Time. How do we know he's not having sex with Octaviius, right now?!"
<*> OOCly, Valyros says, "He could be sending his mind back in time to when he has right now, trying some new 'tricks'."
<*> OOCly, Octavius says, "Get lost in 4 dimentions."
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "My god he's one sick little kitty."

You paged 13 with 'You're now also in thirty or forty romantic settings and times with Tybalt.'.
From afar, 13 enjoys herself very thoroughly. (Hey, I've got the experience of 4 mages and a Fae. Do I manage to teach him any new tricks?)

Binat says "Too right. Somebody ask Thorin to check out the satisfied cat."
13 shrugs a little helplessly, even though she's still smiling.
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "Satisfied, being satisifed, about to be satisfied. Time/Corr master, remember?"
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "The Correspondence 5 Karma Sutra...."
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "That could have some unfortunate side effects..."

Octavius pages: Going to use Forces two to amplify my voice.
Octavius says inhumanly loud, "ENOUGH PLEASE YOUR LORDSHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Binat claps.
Teran recoils in surprise.
13 blinks.
Valyros says "Thank you Octavius."
Octavius's voice is mystically amplified beyond human norm.
Binat continues clapping until the echoes die.
You say "All the other mages have shut up, and even Icelas looks at Oct expectantly."
Octavius goes back to normal.
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "This is the part where you say something real clever. You have just essentially told your boss to shut his trap."
Octavius says "Please stop bickering and distusting each other."
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "Yeah, that's clever."

Tybalt seems a bit distracted, but that's what happens when having a good time in hundreds of different times and places at the same time..."

13 says "Can I volunteer then? I've only been alive a few days, I've no connection to anyone or anything, and my only opinion about any of you is that *he* is very good in bed."
Tybalt seems hurt, "ONLY in bed? What about that cloud?"
13 says "And in the cloud, and in the water, and in the tree, and on the table, and in the hallway, the library, I could go on, if you want? Is there a place we haven't enjoyed each other?"

This one went unnoticed...
You paged 13 with 'Tybalt admits, in his own Tanak way, that you're not his first...'.
From afar, 13 admits in her own slightly bizarre way that he both was and wasn't hers, what with the entire "5 people in 1 way" and asks "Did you enjoy it as much as I did?"
You paged 13 with '13, "Tybalt, 'Of course.''.

<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "So, feel the desire to kill Argos, yet?"
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "No, why?"
<*> OOCly, Octavius says, "Nope."
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Just checking..."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Well, he's just made us another powerful enemy...."

Teran says "I don't suppose there's any chance of a non-vegan meal?"
Elven food merchant, "We've got some meat from animals who died of natural causes, if you have the coin."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Roadkill, basically."
Teran says "I'll take it."

You say "It tastes okay. But it DID die of natural causes, so you're basically eating the old and sick, so it's not exactly tender and of prime quality."
Enola eats something vegetarian.
<*> OOCly, 13 says, "So, it's like they're eating burgers from a highschool cafeteria?"
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "Is it cooked, at least?"

Octavius pages: Trying to get these Archmages to agree on what to do is about as easy as trying to teach orcs to dance the minute and the orcs would have a better attitude. Its not that I disrespect them, its just there egos are to teh point most fo them cannot see the common good.

Octavius nods, "It is what we are fighting for, the future I mean.
You say "As Octavius says that, the sun begins to set in the south."
Enola says "Or fighting the future. It depends on if it's looking at us funny."
<*> OOCly, Teran says, "The south? Is that usual in Malakai?"
13 looks south "That's new."
Octavius looks at the direction of the setting sun with a looks of longing on his face.
Binat says "Chaos rears its interesting head."

<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "No. But the name of this month is Chaos, so just about anything is appropriate..."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Really? I'd not noticed the difference."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Someone needs to track down Helios and tell him to lay off the weed."
<*> OOCly, Octavius says, "It ain't weed He is on, its Peyote."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Still, at least he's not commanding Battlemechas while he's on it. Now, THAT was wierd...."
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Eric, have you ever read Breedbook: Rokea?"
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Nope."
<*> OOCly, Octavius wipes his forehead in relief.
<*> OOCly, Enola says, "Good."

<*> OOCly, Octavius says, "It is the month of Choas after all."
<*> OOCly, Eclipse says, "Great time for a ritual to save the world, yes?"

<*> OOCly, Octavius says, "Lore:Sex 5??????????????"
<*> OOCly, Holly says, "Hey, you make love to the King of Cats several hundred times, in every way imaginable, some ways not imaginable, and some that required the intervention of magic, and see how high yours goes up"

Enola says, "And someone has been interfering with that die. Someone might be using Entropy or something like it from afar."
Enola picks up the die, and sprays it with a clear solution, scrubbing it with a spare rag.
(A Backlash and several failed rolls later...)
Enola gives up on the dice.
[OOC] Enola says, "OOC and IC...."
[OOC] Enola says, "One last try, with WP."
[OOC] You say, "It must be pretty powerful Entropy magic to screw up even the players' dice..."

You say, "As the six suns clear the horizon, they are momentarily obscured by the sillouhettes of the six archmages as they arrive."
Argos, "It is time."
Thirteen claps politely at the juvenile melodrama.

Icelas, "Of course. It's only natural to be a little nervous the first time you're trusted with the magical power of six archmages, you know."

Ender, "We know. Have no fear. Nothing can defeat six archmages."
Valyros says, "Well I don't know..."
Thirteen mutters something along the lines of "peasents.. ultimatum... kill us all.."
[OOC] Teran says, "Since Ender is a Truthspeaker, would that mean we believe him?"
Eclipse [to Teran]: It's up to you. I'm not going to force the Willpower checks everytime this guy opens his mouth...
[OOC] Stuerk wants people to make WP checks every time he opens his mouth...

Octavius says, "You migth be right sir, but can somthing fool and manipulate six Archmages?"
Argos laughs. 'Octavius, you are becoming far too paranoid.'"
Valyros says, "Let's see, gods, demons, angels, used carriage salesmen..."

Said by a Euthantatos with Entropy 3 about the Entropy 9 Effect blinding six archmages to an obvious trap:
Teran pages, "I assume I'm WAY outclassed in terms of thinking up some kind of counterspell?"

[OOC] Thirteen says, "Anger leads to fear, fear leads to hate, hate leads to the darkside, and the darkside leads to the Entropy sphere!"
[OOC] Teran says, "Hey! I resent that! :)"
[OOC] Enola says, "Me too!"

Thirteen has received your page: "Icelas, "You six will be vessels for our power, controlling and directing it. If you destroy the daemons and seal the Sun Realms, but stop short of banishing the Dark Pantheon, you might prevent this terrible fate from befalling us. Of course, my colleagues will likely destroy you for your betrayal.""
(remotely) Thirteen says drily "And I should trust you.. why?"
Thirteen has received your page: "Icelas, "I am an Epagan, Thirteen. We cannot use our magic to evil or selfish ends.""

[OOC] Thirteen says, "... The truth is, we're all little Yoda's and Frank Oz has cold, cold hands."
[OOC] Enola says, "Confused, we are."
[OOC] Octavius says, "Horribly so."

[OOC] You say, "Okay. Before anyone else gets confused. You are a catalyst for the ritual, but you will also be responsible for directing the magic. If you decide to spoil the ritual, you can do so at any time."
[OOC] Teran says, "So Rashna was bluffing when he said he could force us to comply? "
[OOC] You say, "Not exactly, since Mind 4 can make you do what they tell you to do..."

Octavius says, "With two rouge Archamges out there I doubt it, becuase all there power, inlcusing defense would be in our hands and we don't have the insight to weild it. We would be little match for whatever the enemy sends our way. An army of demon could finish all of us quickly "
[OOC] Enola says, "Red Archmages?"
[OOC] You say, "Red Wizards of Malakai?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Man, the Red Wizards of Thay kick ass."
[OOC] Valyros says, "Except against bayou hounds. They're scared to death of them."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Hush you."

[OOC] Thirteen says, "I think we should banish the entire lot of 'em. Stupid gods."

[OOC] Thirteen says, "Guys? I gotta ask. We'll have the power of 6 archmasters. Anyone wanna take over the world?"
[OOC] Valyros says, "Me!!!!!!!"

You say, "Argos begins to pray. 34 waves a feather and plays an organ grinder. Rashna invokes nature spirits. Ender simply states his intentions. Icelas sits on the ground and appears to meditate. Tybalt, well, you don't want to know what Tybalt is using as a focus..."
[OOC] Thirteen raises a hand?
[OOC] Stuerk knocks it down.

[Roll]: Eclipse rolled 54d10: 10, 5, 8, 2, 5, 1, 10, 4, 10, 6, 9, 1, 8, 3, 10, 9, 9, 8, 7, 9, 8, 3, 10, 6, 1, 3, 1, 5, 4, 7, 3, 7, 2, 6, 1, 1, 8, 4, 3, 3, 8, 3, 4, 3, 7, 10, 8, 3, 2, 5, 5, 1, 2, 3; totalling 284.
[OOC] Enola says, "It would have been so funny to see a botch on that."

Eclipse says, "*Now, the Sun Realms.*"
[OOC] Enola says, "Eclipse says that? What's he doing here?"
[OOC] Teran says, "Holding the puppets, of course."
Eclipse [to Enola]: No, the archmages in your minds.
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Told ya we were fucked. ;)"

After the PCs refuse to banish the Dark Pantheon and threaten not to return the power of the Archmages, the six Tradition leaders begin to drop over dead in pairs, and only one survives by fleeing:
Nyarlathotep, "I love it when a plan comes together."
Thirteen turns to the newcomer "Ah shit.."
You say, "Five of the archmages are dead, their Avatars shredded (Gilgul)."

[OOC] Enola says, "Shall I do the "Go for the eyes, Blossom!" quote?"

Nyarlathotep, "I mean you no harm. I need someone to take the blame for today's little tragedy, after all. Anyone reading your auras or minds will see you as guilty. My magic will assure me of that."
You say, "He smiles."

Thirteen stares at Nyarlahotep "You planned this? All of this?" The question 'even me?' is there but unspoken. (holding action)
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Lookit me ma! I'm marvelling in combat!"

[Roll]: Eclipse rolled 5d10: 1, 1, 5, 7, 10; totalling 24.
[OOC] Stuerk tosses Z some Mojo Sauce.
[Roll]: Eclipse rolled 8d10: 9, 10, 9, 8, 7, 10, 7, 10; totalling 70.
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Now that's an impressive dodge."
[OOC] Stuerk says, "Guess the Mojo Sauce worked..."
[OOC] Octavius points at Eus, "TRAITOR!

[Roll]: Eclipse rolled 8d10: 8, 4, 6, 9, 9, 9, 2, 4; totalling 51.
[OOC] You say, "dif 9, and STILL 3 successes on dodge..."
[OOC] Eclipse thanks Eus.
[OOC] Stuerk says, "Just remember this for tomorrow night, Z. @#;+)"

You say, "The bolt hits him in the forehead. He sighs and collapses. His power was huge, but not that huge. His body has been cut in half and he has an arrow in his brain."
[OOC] Enola says, "Did he actually get to do anything?"
[OOC] Binat says, "I think he mouthed off to us."
[OOC] Teran says, "You mean, besides kill 5 homefires? No."

[OOC] Thirteen says, "Sorry.. This brought back D&D memories, first impulse was to loot the corpse."

You say, "At least, you're certain that's what happened, except, now you realize that it didn't. Nyar is gone. (Cor 3, Life 2, Mind 1, Time 4 Effect)"
[OOC] Binat says, "Bastard."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Awwww.."
[OOC] Eclipse shrugs.
[OOC] Octavius says, "We didn't kill hiM?"
[OOC] Binat says, "I'm not sure ..."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Of course not. We had no hope of killing him."
[OOC] Enola says, "I'd have been seriously disapponted if we killed an ARCHMAGE just like that."
[OOC] Octavius says, "True."

Thirteen says, "I think we should leave. Now."
Enola says, "And find something to hide under."
Thirteen says, "Before someone comes to investigate. I don't want to die."
[OOC] Teran says, "Repeatedly."

[OOC] Thirteen says, "He killed the Archmages, then let us fuck him up before vanishing and messing with our memories."
[OOC] You say, "Pretty much. Entropy 9 with a LOT of successes - give six of your worst enemies Dark Fate, in essence..."
[OOC] Teran says, "Wow... Me want Entropy 9!"
[OOC] Octavius says, "We have dark fate on us?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "The archmages did."
[OOC] Octavius says, "Ok."
[OOC] Octavius says, "So there was nothing we can do."
[OOC] You say, "Right. You guys just got a visit from the plot firetruck, not nearly as bad a Dark Fate."
[OOC] Valyros says, "Man, I HATE Dark Fate, it's the worst flaw there is."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "It was one of those "You want it in yer mouth or in your ass?" moments Oct."

[OOC] Eclipse shrugs. "On the bright side, aside from having five Traditions crying for your blood, you're pretty much free to do as you please." :)

Everyone was a bit too busy to notice this, but in retrospect...WTF?
Valyros goeses to her cabin and brings back her chibi black dragon plushie, and beings to cuddle it in worry.

Octavius punches the wall a third time, "WHy were they so stupid and Arogennt?"
Thirteen says, "Because they were archmages."
Binat checks the wall for damage.

It just keeps getting worse -
Thirteen says, "Does anyone know correspondance?"
Enola shakes her head.
Teran says, "No, I don't."
Octavius shakes his head.
Binat says, "I don't."
Thirteen says, "Anyone? Anyone at all? Because, at the moment, theres nothing keeping them from finding us."
Octavius says, "13 do you. Hugon did know that type of magic."
Octavius looks at her hopefully.
Thirteen shrugs helplessly "If he did, I don't remember it."
A man steps out of a portal on the deck of the ship. "You're right about that. They'll find you soon, but I can help."
[OOC] Teran says, "Does he have a floating head following him?"

[OOC] Thirteen says, "Lets all join the Ba'lak! Free brainwashing with every purchase!"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Oh. Wait. That's Microsoft."

Enola contines looking ahead. "Please leave. You wouldn't get the first word out before the security systems activated."
[OOC] Enola says, "I'm bluffing."
[OOC] Enola says, "Then again, my Manipulation / Subterfuge pool is 1 dice, so it probably won't work."

Binat says, "Are we done with the body?"
Valyros says, "Well I'm not going to use it for spell components if that's what you mean."

Binat kicks the corpse over the side of the ship into the depthless oceans.
Binat spits after it.
[OOC] Enola says, "And this will be known as the Session of Excess Saliva."

Binat says, "If that was a contingency spell, it teleported the body SOMEWHERE. So to kill an archmage, you have to kill it where its contingency takes it."
Binat says, "Must murder them in their lairs."
Binat says, "er, righteously remove them. And only bad ones."

I'm the only one who will think this one's funny -
Binat says, "We don't need to be afraid of Icelas."

You say, "Retcon. Octavius gets the short straw."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "What, did someone cheat?"
[OOC] You say, "Someone asked for divine intervention, actually. Is that the same thing?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Yes."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "I need to get me a God.."

[OOC] Valyros says, "Man, did I suck tonight..."
[OOC] Enola says, "So, I now have Malakai as my arch nemesis?"

[OOC] Enola says, "I've had an idea. How about if I make those jet engines next session. In case we, you know, need to leave quickly for some reason?"

[OOC] Valyros says, "Damn, I didn't get a chance to do something with my glove this time..."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Valyros Jackson?"
[OOC] Valyros says, "Don't ever call up that image again..."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "What, Valyros Jackson, the Gloved One?"
[OOC] Valyros says, "Yes, that's wrong..."

"With great Forces, comes great responsibility, young padawan."

"Enola, a dead Olmec has taken a liking to your familiar."

"Four out of six of the PCs in this group killed off their closest friends and family in their character histories, a wise decision given that a GM likes to use loved ones against the characters. But I have this game called Wraith that says I can still use your loved ones against you. *evil grin*"
"In fantasy, you'd think people would stop breeding, bearing in mind how many people get killed after having children."
"That's what Nyarlathotep wants..."

"Ever feel like Rand al'Thor had it easy? Only one voice in his head."

Eclipse, "One of your otherselves thinks you should help the ghost, and another one is a bit worried because he can't seem to see it. Amber shouts them all down. Amber, 'I think I can help us find the reason we left the Chaos.'"
Thirteen, "*Yes Amber? How do we do that?*"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Since when has my character become a democracy?!"
Amber, "Meet me in the dream. I have an idea."
Thirteen, "*Right*"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Wait a second. Isn't trusting the Fae on the List of WoD Deadly Sins?"

Teran squats down next to Blossom. "I see you like cards. Would you care for a game?"
Blossom, "I am rather fond of (whirring gears) cards. My favorite game is (whirring gears) War. Would you like to play (whirring gears) War with me?"
Teran smiles. "Sure. Cut the deck."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Never play War with a machine that uses a quantum singularity as a power source."

"Hurray for dead archmages hiding in my head.."

Not quite an EPT:
Thirteen watches her, and when the baby quiets, holds out her arms and says quietly "May I?"
Amber shakes her head and shoots you an impish smile, 'You'll get to hold her soon enough, Thirteen. You have other tasks to complete, now. You wish to resolve our seperateness. Isn't that why you came into the Dream?'"

Eclipse, "In the end, Blossom wins in one cycling of the cards, if only because she had all the aces, kings, queens, jacks, tens, nines, and eights, plus two of the sevens drawn against your twos."
Teran thought that was going to happen.
Blossom, "I win again. Would you like to play (whirring gears) War again?"
[OOC] Enola says, "My familiar's all grown up and learning Entropy 2. I'm so proud."
[OOC] You say, "Actually, she just stacked the deck. She knows how to play games. She just hasn't learned not to cheat."
[OOC] Teran says, "She wouldn't really need Entropy. An AI would be able to stack the deck mechanically."
[OOC] Teran says, "More importantly, she hasn't learned to cheat in a non-blatantly-obvious way. :)"

[OOC] Thirteen says, "Well Bob, I think I'll see whats behind door number 2.."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "And hopefully this road doesn't decided to stand up and beat me.."
[OOC] Enola says, "Is that your final answer?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "We went from the Price is Right to Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"

"I don't know, were you just kidding that I had to go to the land of the dead to get those shackles? Please say yes. I'd be difficult enough getting them out of a dark elf city."
Eclipse just smiles.

I swear, I didn't expect them to go along with this one:
Teran says, "Enola has had a visit from the ghost of her old mentor. He says that there's something of great importance in his old lab, which will both help our quest and allow his soul to rest."
[OOC] Teran says, "But isn't it also Guiltbearer Central?"
Thirteen nods "Sounds like a good idea. We have little *but* time to spare, truthfully."
Eclipse [to Teran]: YES!
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Wasn't it eaten by demons?"
Eclipse [to Thirteen]: Also, YES!
Thirteen says, "We've time for any number of distractions, especially if it'll help our quest. It's not like we have a deadline."
Teran [ to Enola] Where exactly in Nitali are we going?"
Enola says, "The capital."
Teran winces. "Then I'm sorry, but I have to ask this. Are you sure it's a good idea to wander back into a country controlled by the Guiltbearers?"
(a brief discussion commences)
Teran sighs. "Okay. I never wanted to live forever anyway. To Arcadia it is, then."

Teran sits down and tries to teach Blossom to play poker, while listening to the magic lecture with half an ear.
Eclipse, "Once she figures out the rules, Blossom kicks your ass in poker. After all, a mechanical rat has the perfect poker face. (Per + Alerness, dif 8)"
Eclipse, "You notice the cards are all slightly different sizes (stage magic cards)."

Teran says, "Blossom? Are you able to tell from looking at the back of my card what card it is?"
Blossom, "(whirring gears) Naturally, Teran. How else would I consistently win at (whirring gears) poker?"

[OOC] Eclipse, "No problem. I like WW, but they hide their rules in odd spots, sometimes... A rule like that buried in some random sourcebook wouldn't have surprised me."
[OOC]Teran, "That's probably why their Golden Rule is there are no rules."
[OOC] Eclipse, "That or it's "smoke crack while writing the rules down"..."

Eclipse, "The night passes quietly. The sun takes the next day off and doesn't bother rising."
[OOC] Teran says, "So, it isn't actually DAY then..."
Eclipse [to Teran]: Not as such, no.

[OOC] Teran says, "Thirteen and Valyros seem to be hugging an awful lot..."
[OOC] Enola says, "Wait till they get onto tickle fights."

Enola says, "Is it some kind of qualification that you need to have had an unhappy past to be in this group?"
[OOC] You say, "Anti-Angst Cabal is a bit of a misnomer..."
[OOC] Teran says, "ARE there any GCP regulars who don't go in for torturing their characters?"

Thirteen pages, "Why do I get the feeling I should life scan myself again?"
(to Thirteen) Eclipse just smiles.
Thirteen pages, "Ah fuck."

Thirteen has received your page: "It's going to take more than one day to do that, but by the time you get to your abdomen, you realize you're pregnant."
Thirteen pages, "... Well, that plan backfired badly. Why is it that the "Everything you suggest to the ST becomes less likely to happen" theory always fails at the worst time?"

Thirteen buries her face in her hands "Umm.. No. It was Tybalt. You'd think an archmage would know to take precautions!"
Teran says, "Oh. Yes, I suppose you would. But it is still perfectly natural."
Valyros says, "Oh Thirteen, you're going to have a little Fourteen?"
Thirteen says, "Yes Valyros, and that's a very delicate way to put it. Thank you."

[OOC] Thirteen says, "New rule! No more having sex with the King of the Cats! It's easy to follow, cause he's dead. Mostly."
[OOC] You say, "He's dead unless you find one of those places and times where he is enjoying himself and offer to join in..."
[OOC] Teran says, "Hey, there's an idea. Find a past Tybalt and convince him to take responsibility..."

Thirteen pages, "Oh fuck! Do you realize what you've done to me???? Oct is going to go on a protect/coddle the pregnant lady kick now!"

You say, "When last we left the AAC, they had just decided to head back to the seat of the Guiltbearers' power, risking capture and execution, in a valiant, if somewhat mad, effort to put the ghost of Enola's mentor to rest.""
[OOC] You say, "Oops, I'm editorializing, aren't I?"

Thirteen has received your page: "You're not on the ship anymore. You are now in a large chamber that looks like a courtroom, surrounded by a circle of runes. Binat and Enola are with you."
(remotely) Thirteen looks around "This can't be good."
Enola pages, "Ah yes. Now I remember the one defence I forgot to put on the ship."
Thirteen pages, ""Yes, a correspondance ward would've been a nice touch.""

You say, "There is a middle-aged woman dressed like a judge just outside the circle of runes, apparently praying."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Can we hear whats she's been praying?"
Eclipse [to Thirteen]: She appears to be praying for the wisdom required to pass fair sentences on the criminals responsible for her father's death.
(After a few attempts to get her attention...)
You say, "She doesn't respond, merely continuing to walk until she leaves the chamber through a heavy wooden door."
Thirteen says, "Well, isn't that just ominous?"

[OOC] Enola says, "Does anyone have any dots in Law, by any chance?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "I don't think that would help."

Valyros says, "I hope we can plea bargin down to a fine and some community service?"

[OOC] You say, "When they tell you to 'stick it where the sun don't shine' on Malakai, they might not mean up your ass... "
[OOC] Thirteen says, "But the sun does shine there! It does!"

Thirteen shakes her head "I'm not going to debate philosophy with you. I did what I did to save the world, as I was created to do. I saved the world from the archmages, so hurrah for me. I deserve a medal, and cake.
[OOC] Enola says, "Yes, mouth off to the court and insult their predeccesor. Way to get them on our side...."
Nestor smiles, "If your purpose has been fulfilled, Thirteen, then perhaps Gilgul holds no fear for you...
Valyros says, "Eep..."

[OOC] Enola says, "We have three alterantives. 1: Get stitched up. 2: Wait for the mechanical rat and the ghost to rescue us or 3: Attack hiom en masse and hope for the best. All three suck."

Enola says, "I know what it is. Couldn't you just make compel us to kill her? Or get some henchmen or spirits to do it? Why us?"
Nestor nods. "Intriguing."
Octavius says, "Um, Enola, giving him ideas is a bad thing."

[OOC] Thirteen says, "Wait a minute, wasn't Electra the one who wanted to kill her mother and have sex with her father or something?"
[OOC] Enola says, "Yup. Is she any relation to Oedipus from Saturday night, perchance?"
[OOC] Octavius says, "Yep. the female equivlent of Oedipus."
[OOC] Valyros says, "Which would make her even more pissed."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Man, no wonder Iphi ran off to become an Epagan."
[OOC] Enola says, "We could always give her Uriah to pacify her?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "You could install a vibrate function.."

More editorializing:
Electra, "Off the record, whatever possessed you to come back to Nitali if you were so desperately afraid we intended to Gilgul you?"
Enola says, "The ghost I mentioned. He says he needs something in our old workshop to rest peacefully. It's plans for a device that would enable safe travel into the Midnight Realms."
Electra, "You risked capture and death for the sake of a ghost? He must be a very special ghost to be worth pursuing such a, if you'll pardon the expression, mind-bogglingly foolhardy venture."
Thirteen says, "What can I say? I'm only two weeks old, and I've fallen in with bad company that's led me away from the path of wisdom."

[OOC] Stuerk says, "Islands make poor investments. Hurricanes, natives, and the CoD are all very real dangers, you know."
[OOC] Enola says, "At least you can insure against the first two."
[OOC] Teran should start a business. CoD Insurance... because you never know when you might need it.
[OOC] Octavius says, "Yes, the native make sacrfices to the volcanoes to keep the CoD away."

(remotely) Thirteen slides her arms around Val and kisses her deeply. (F2B?)
[OOC] Eclipse whimpers.
[OOC] Thirteen says, "Do we get purity?"

[OOC] Valyros says, "If someone put a full beer stein on a dwarf's head, would that be insulting the dwarf?"
[OOC] Teran says, "Not really. I'd just take it off and drink it."

Enola says, "I don't think I'll be personally able to be build this machine, not for a while. Maybe a team....I think I'll issue copies to the local libraries, let others benefit for this even if we can't yet."
Teran says, "Are you sure that's a good idea? What if it were to fall into the wrong hands?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "What, you mean like the CoD?"
[OOC] Teran meant like Nyarlathotep's, but that works.

Thirteen says, "Oh yeah.. We're on board.. Do you want to come in and make sure?"
Octavius says, "Um, um, well sure jsut in just to be possitive."
Thirteen says, "Fun, ain't it?"
Thirteen looks up from the part of Valyros she's licking and says "Well, I didn't actually expect you to accept."

[OOC] You say, "If he asks to join in, I'm officially naming this "The Porno Session"..."
(And thus has it been dubbed...)

[OOC] Thirteen says, "Does it scare anyone else that all the mages with Life 3 are exploring new alternatives?"

[OOC] Thirteen says, "It's Mage 90210, where we discuss our feelings, then blow shit up with magic."
[OOC] Thirteen says, ""Next week, on a very special Eclipse's Creek...""

[OOC] Thirteen says, "Dwarves and Elves aren't supposed to crossbreed!"
[OOC] Enola says, "Would the kid be called a delver?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "A Dwelf?"
[OOC] Thirteen says, "A Dwalf?"
[OOC] Valyros says, "Yes they mine trees!"

Enola says, "It feels a bit awkward up here, doesn't it?"
Blossom, "Yes, it does. It's even worse when everything you look at has the mark of (whirring gears) death upon it. It's like watching three corpses (whirring gears) go at it..."
Teran says, "You're in a cheerful mood today, Blossom."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "The Wraith is a voyeur!"

[OOC] Thirteen says, "So, we've got the quasi succubus, 13, and the guy who hasn't gotten any in 10 years."
[OOC] Thirteen says, "I hope Enola packed plenty of sheets."

[OOC] You say, "A Dwarf sleeping with a Dark Elf? Both races would burn you at the stake..."