Now Playing: The Roots--"Star/Pointro"
I went to see The Descent at Showcase Cinemas on Carpenter Road, the first time I've been to see a movie at the googolplex in just under two years (and it'll probably be at least that long before I go again). The near hourlong bus ride there did much to put me off. I'm as much of a public transit booster as the next progressive type, but I suspected that a mere movie maybe wasn't enough to warrant the time and expense of going to see it. The "going" part, of course, only set me back a couple of bucks. I spent the forty-five minutes or so jotting down story notes, listening to an annoying old man outline a projected policy for East Asian peace to a half-Taiwanese, half-Thai cluster of students toward the front, and reading some of Laurie Notaro's humorous essays (picked it up on a whim at Kiwanis this morning and she's already turned into a favorite).
"Seeing?" Tracy unexpectedly pulled up next to me and said hi as I walked towards the theatre. She'd actually just been to see The Descent and liked it, so I took that as a good omen. Afterwards, though, I delivered a series of low moans (the bad kind) on seeing a poster for The Wicker Man... starring Nicolas Cage (I'd actually no idea it was so close to opening). Neil LaBute comes highly recommended, to be sure, and it'll be interesting to see how his sensibilities as a practicing Mormon will impact one of the ultimate cinematic tales of religious fanaticism, but come on--this has got to be one of the most pointless remakes ever, the most pointless since...probably the last one that got made.
A ticket and refreshments cost a medium-sized grocery bill. The refreshments in question included an extra-large Pepsi, which I bought after being told it only cost a dime extra than the large. The counter girl presented me with a cup upon which was fastened a transparent plastic model of an ice-cream swirl. Who comes up with this shit? On leaving after the movie, I felt bad for throwing it away (okay, no I didn't, if we're talking about the lid design and not the plastic) but what would I have done with it?
The movie began at more or less the right time. When I say "the movie," I mean of course the commercials, which took up at least a good ten minutes. I think Kevin Murphy posed the question in A Year At The Movies regarding the relationship between these ads and the rising prices. Are they the reason we're paying so much? Does that mean that we're all officially subsidizing the advertising agencies by seeing these movies? I prefer to do so through buying the products advertised (and as little of that as possible, thank you). We had an ad for the theatre, of course, but that was after I'd already bought my fucking ticket: "Sir, we appreciate your business. Here are some of the additional features you may enjoy. You've sat through the rest of the commercials, why not enjoy the previews as well?" Kevin James showed up in the last of many cloying, obnoxious ads to remind us all how to behave in a movie theatre. After what I'd just seen, that was kind of an insult. I'm guessing the Powers That Be knocked the previews together based on the "horror demographic" (divide and conquer, I guess), so we then saw a lot of purposefully grainy footage with screaming people running around amid various metallic noises. There was one preview that made me think "oh, how many times can they remake Texas Chainsaw Massacre?" It turned out to be The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. Tobe, I hope you're milkin' it for all you're worth. Saw III??? I suppose studying art direction by locking yourself in a room and watching incessant loops of Tool videos is one way to go. But three movies out of that? At one point, I began to realize that I'd come to the theatre for a reason.
The Descent is actually pretty good, although not worth the trouble it took to go to the theatre. I mean that: I probably would have been just as scared watching it at home (although, in fairness, our television's fairly large). I could have waited until it showed up at Liberty Street and paid $1.11. But no, these movies aren't the same unless we see them on the BIG SCREEN, as the Academy President (I still don't care what his name is) and poor Jake Gyllenhaal told us at the Oscars. A mixture of Bridget Jones' Diary, Deliverance and C.H.U.D., The Descent follows... the descent of a group of young women (refreshingly in their mid-to-late twenties and probably professionals or grad students, unlike the usual psycho-bait) into a cave complex in North Carolina (my guess from the license plates), where they encounter a colony of humanoid cannibals. Before I forget, are they actually cannibals if they're a different species from homo sapiens sapiens? When does cannibalism begin? If a human (for whatever reason) got hold of a Neanderthal (again, for whatever reason, alive) and ate it, would that count? Probably, which is why I find it an interesting question. The "cannibals" show up rather late in the movie, and it's impressive how many of the scares and shocks revolve around the natural dangers one might find (I assume; there's no way you're getting me into one of those narrow passages) in the natural course of rock-climbing and spelunking. At times, I thought it might be interesting if the caves themselves turned out to be the horror, like an homage to Picnic at Hanging Rock (an homage, not a remake). The women have a better backstory than you usually find in these flicks, and the fates of most are genuinely disturbing. As in Dog Soldiers, director Neil Marshall has quite a way with the grimmer aspects of the great outdoors (like Dog Soldiers, The Descent was actually filmed in Scotland). The performances are generally good, especially Natalie Mendoza, who plays the pushy Juno (Juno??). Perhaps not coincidentally, she's the only American in the group, and I suspect a little satire in the way the script makes her some kind of postmodern imperialist. She goes on about "discovering" and "naming" the cave complex as therapy for Sarah (Shauna McDonald), the death of whose husband and daughter provide much of the backstory and emotional heft for the plot. Coronation Street fans may recognize Nora-Jane Noone (the Irish lass who briefly came between Steve and Tracy Barlow before the latter's malevolent lunacy encouraged her to make herself scarce) as Holly, Juno's punky... best friend with benefits? It didn't seem clear to me. There's been talk about a final plot twist, I understand, but it's not really a twist so much as it's a plot strand that's allowed to lay decently at rest, surfacing at odd occasions, until its time arrives. That's the way to handle plot twists, Mr. Shyamalan, and an effective ending for the movie. If only the surrounding experience was as enjoyable.
Posted by Charles J. Microphone
at 5:05 PM EDT
Updated: 6 August 2006 3:41 PM EDT
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Updated: 6 August 2006 3:41 PM EDT
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