Ch. 13
Tears formed in her eyes and she let them fall. This is all my fault; it's my fault I'm sick, it's my fault Nick hates me now and it's my fault my mom hates him! Her head screamed; the tears fell harder now. She was shaking uncontrollably when Aj sat next to her putting his arm around her.
"I'm sorry," he took of his glasses, "really."
"Aj please just leave," she whispered turning away from him.
"OK I'll leave," Aj stood up. "I hope you get better soon."
"Bye Aj."
"Candi?" Amanda stood up from her chair and sat next to Candice in the hospital bed.
"Yeah?"
"Do you really love him?"
"I think so."
"Sure?"
"No," Candice turned around to face Amanda. "I'm not sure Amanda and I never will be. It's just a word Mandi, just a word. I have feelings for him if that's what you want me to say, but I don't know if I love him completely. I mean in 19 years no one but you as a best friend has made me happy, not my mom and not my dad. Then Nick comes along and boom he made me happy. Within the first weeks of knowing him I liked him and I know I always will, no matter what."
"Look at what he's doing to you," Amanda rubbed Candice's head.
"Why do you hate him so? He isn't doing any of this to me! I'm doing this," she screamed growing weak. "Hate me, hate me, please hate me!"
"Shh," Amanda cooed.
"No, don't hate Nick. He has done nothing but been a great best friend! The only reason you guys say that is because you don't want to blame me, but it is my fault and it always has been!"
"Huh?" Candice awakened from her nap by a tapping on her window. She slowly crawled out of bed and walked to her window and opened it. "Nick?" she gasped.
"Yes, now lemme in," he climbed up the house and in the window.
"But we haven't talked in four months."
"I know but we are in St. Louis today and you said I had to come and kidnap you when we came to town."
"Nick I've missed you so much," she wrapped her arms around his neck and inhaled his scent.
Nick sighed, "maybe we should start over."
"Maybe, I mean I'm a lot better now. I've gained seven pounds and I'm up to two meals a day now."
"That's great but lets go, I have to get back before someone notices I'm gone and gets pissed."
"Ok lets go," she kissed him lightly. The crept down the stairway and stopped in the main room. "Wait here I have to go pack," she kissed him again sitting him down on the couch.
"Where are you going?" Her mother asked as she passed through he kitchen.
"Nick is here," she answered simply.
"Now we've talked about him."
"Mom."
"I just want you to be happy Candi. How could you be happy with someone who will never be there for you?"
Candice frowned, she thought she knew her mother better. "Mom if you truly want me to be happy you should let me try this, let me go with him. Just give Nick a chance. You haven't even met him yet, besides the time you insulted him." Candice sat on the table, "and if it doesn't work I'll come home and live with y'all until I'm 50 with my million cats, but mom just let me have this chance-I think I might be in love with this guy."
"But."
"Yeah I know I'm only 20, but mom think about it..I'm an adult I can live out on my own and I can date and pick out my own guys."
"Ok," her mother gave in; she was worried about her daughter going out with 5 guys but she had to let her grow up and this smile on her face was priceless.
Candice ran up the stairs to start packing; Mrs. Thompson headed for the main room. "Nick," she sat down next to him.
"Let me start over with you, I'm Teresa, Candice's mother." He took her hand and shook it. "Mrs. Thompson, my name is Nick Carter and I would love to date your daughter."
She faked a smile, "and I would love for you to date her."
"Thank you," Nick smiled.
"Nick please just take care of her, she's not better yet and is so fragile."
"I will," Nick stood up.
"I'm ready," Candice declared walking down the stairs
"Great lets go," Nick grabbed her bags.
"Bye, I love you mom." Candice hugged her mother and followed Nick out the door.
"I'm glad your mom doesn't hate me anymore," Nick kissed her putting her bags in the back of her car.
"Me too," she smiled, "this is so great; I'm so happy."
"Good, the guys will be happy to see you to," Nick grinned. "Everyone has missed you." Candice frowned but Nick didn't notice he was to busy driving. Two letters stuck out in her head when he mentioned the guys missing her; Aj.
"Which way, which way?" Nick screamed frantically.
"Left Nick, left. It's ok." Candice soothed. His screamed interrupted her thoughts, she had forgotten; Nick didn't have the slightest clue where he was going. She told him just to follow the signs labeled: St. Louis, but he wasn't sure which signs to read and got confused.
"The show was great," Candice hugged Nick. "Ewww shower, shower," she teased stepping away from him.
"You mean you watched the show?"
"No, I lied, I was actually making out with some random guy!" He stood closer to her and put his arm around her neck. "God you stink," she smiled.
"You're so mean! I'm leaving," he walked off to the showers. Candice was just glad she hadn't seen Aj at all, she had told Leighanne about her situation and she helped look out for him. Candice sat alone in the room for a while until she heard a bunch of laughter and carrying on coming from the hallway. Nick, Brian, Leighanne, and Howie entered the room. Nick sat on her lap in the love seat, Brian and Leighanne sat on the big couch and Howie sat in the recliner. Kevin stuck his head in the door and said something about heading out in an hour.
"This sucks," Nick whined.
"It's great," Candice pinched his cheek.
"Awww," Brian made kissing noises.
"Take a picture," Leighanne suggested.
"Oh and I've got a camera, Boom!" Howie snapped a picture. Brian laughed more and fell out of his chair causing the whole room to burst out with laughter.
"You guys are so mature," Nick choked out between laughs. Aj walked into the room and everyone fell silent.
"What's wrong guys?"
"Oh nothing," Brian said standing up and pulling Leighanne out the door.
"I'm gonna go get ready to leave bye," Howie walked out of the room slamming the door.
"Hello Aj," Candice smiled.
"Oh hey Candice," Aj said nonchalantly. He sat on the couch and flipped on the television, he watched cartoons with a stupid grin on his face.
"That's it Aj, why are you acting like this?" Nick demanded.
"Acting like what?"
"Like this," Nick stood up.
"Like this?" Aj mocked him standing up and getting in Nick's face.
"Stop it guys! Stop it now!" Candice yelled standing up and walked in-between them.
"Stop what," Aj asked innocently.
"Now you two need to make up, it's over ok. Nickolas say you are sorry and you too Alexander."
"I'm sorry bone," Nick took Aj's hand.
"Yeah me too it was dumb anyway."
"See all better now," Candice faked a smile. She knew it wasn't better, the only reason they were fighting is because of her. Everything is always your fault, her head screamed. Nick put his arm around her shoulder and Aj left the room; she pulled back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she lied holding her stomach, hoping he wouldn't notice; he did.
"No, you're not. What have you eaten today?"
Candice cringed, "salad." She lied again, she hadn't ate anything for the past three days. Her mother was always busy around Christmas time planning everything and all Candice could think about was Nick coming to town. She was just so used to the pain she didn't even notice it anymore. She just kept busy on the computer or taking walks.
"Maybe you should eat," Nick suggested.
"No, I'll just take some Advil and go to sleep. I'll be better later, really I'm cool." She kissed him and headed for the bus.
"Was she lying?" Nick thought a loud.
"It's ok Nick you're not her mother," Kevin said walking into the room.
"But still she can't get that sick again, it'll kill her." Nick turned around and Kevin was gone. He really needed someone to talk to but Brian was off planning his life with Leighanne, he would have called Candice but she was the problem this time. Nick ran through other ideas on his way to the bus. He got an idea and walked onto the bus.
Candice crawled into the small punk and pulled out a pad of paper and pulled out her Discman. She started to write in her journal when the bus door flew open. Someone pulled back her curtain, "Nick!" She pulled off her headphones and climbed out of her bunk.
"I had no one else to talk to and you're my best friend." He pulled her to the entertainment room and sat on the small sofa.
"Nick I'm so tired!"
"Just listen, please." Nick sat her down next to him. "Ok see I have this friend and well sh-my friend, has this problem. I want to help my friend, but my friend just lies and pushes me away."
Candice grinned, "well maybe you should kiss your friend."
"No! You're supposed to be my best friend!"
"Gosh sorry Nick, well let me give you some advice. Why don't you just let your best friend die and be happy!" She screamed running out of the bus. She pushed past Aj in a fit of rage and ran until she fell to the ground.
"What's wrong with her?" Aj asked walking onto the bus.
"Aj?" A faint, muffled, whisper came from one of the bunks; Nick's bunk.
"Nicky?" Aj pulled back the curtain and bit his lip; Nick was curled up in a ball crying, "what's wrong?"
"We had a fight," Nick said sniffling.
"Everyone has fights."
"Aj she said she wanted to kill herself," Nick sobbed. He crawled out of his bunk; Aj stood there speechless. "I think she was right, too."
"About what?"
"About us not making it," Nick said sadly.
"Maybe you should go after her," Aj suggested, hugging Nick.
"No, I'm afraid of what I might say or what she might do."
"I'll go talk to her then."
"Thanks Aj, and I'm so sorry for being a jackass."
"It's ok I understand that girl is damn confusing!" Aj smiled stepping off the bus and walked the direction Candice had run in.
Nick laid back down in his bunk and pulled out his notebook and wrote some words down and read through them once. "Sucks," he mumbled throwing the paper out of his bunk.
"I think it's good," a familiar voice said sweetly. Nick scrambled to open his curtain.
© A Candi Idea