The Gnome Decapitator

The Gnome Decapitator. Hmmm. Interesting name. If she lives up to her name, then I like her already. More coming later...

Later is now! The Gnome Decapitator has added these comments:

The Story...
this is how it all began...

Hello, I'm The Gnome Decapitator. Yep, thats me, the one and only. Well I'm here to tell you my story. Just sit back relax and try not to fall asleep...

Well, as it so happens this all started when my good friends, Emotionally Unstable Sorceress and Phobic Princess, were walking down the road with me one day. We saw this old house that had a badly cared for garden. In front of the garden were two porceline lawn gnomes. Having never seen one in my town before I pointed them out. They practically jumped out of their skin with fright! "What the hell's wrong with you two?," I asked anxiously. They both seemed somewhere else, totally oblivous to me."Well?," I sternly asked, I don't like to be ignored. Sorceress answered first, "I'm not sure, I just keep having these weird dreams where Gnomes attack me, but they're just stupid little pieces of cruddy glass I should be able to take those damn things on! They're incredibly strong though!" Princess was being really quiet now, for a few minutes Sorceress just stared at her. Finally she spoke up, "Okay, okay! Fine I've been having the dreams too! I just didn't say anything because Faithful told me I needed a therapist." "Faithful thinks everyone should see a therapist," Sorceress said. "Yeah, but this time I think I believe him...," By this time we were at Princess' house where Sorceress and I were going to sleep over. We all bounded up the stairs into Princess' room. We made sure to close the door behind us because we didn't want anyone to overhear our conversation about silly garden gnomes. "I wonder why you guys are having such weird dreams...," I asked. "I know why, it's because you're all psychotic," said a black cat with purple eyes who just jumped up on the bed. We weren't at all surprised by the talking cat's comment. It was just Faithful's annoying nature. "All I know is that they are just stupid dreams, nothing more, let's just forget about it," Princess said. This ended the conversation. I jumped off the bed and started to unravel my sleeping bag. I opened my bag and took out some things I had brought with me. A book by Anne McCaffrey, a green colored flashlight, and my teddy bear Bobo. (I know what you're thinking, you still sleep with teddy bear? Yeah, well I have issues...)

Kay well, it's taken me about 3 months to get through about a paragraph of my write-up so I'm just gonna say "To Be Continued" till I finish, which will be whenever the hell I feel like it...

A little about me....
yeah like you really give a flying cupcake about who I am, oh well, hehe

Name: Ashleigh Fairfield (yep, your town was named after yours truly! Bow down before me!)

Where I Live: Virginia (yes I live far away from my Jello brother family, ::sniffles:: and no I am not a southern hillbilly!)

Lives: I was an Inuit child in one of my past lives. I was a boy with black hair and fished near this beautiful blue glacier. (Don't call me an eskimo because I am not an "eater of raw fish" which is what eskimo means).

Gender: Female

Hair Color: Red (this girl I know at school calls me copper-top, ya know like the battery, Duracell. Anyways I got pissed off so now I call her Clorox, cause her hair is so blonde it looks bleached, hehe)

Eye Color: Hazel

Likes: Animals, computers, web design (with raw HTML, not the crappy Front Page!), music, anime, TV, The Simpsons!! Homer!!!

Dislikes: bitches, alcohol (which is EVIL), lawn gnomes, clowns... etc...

What Music I Like: Santana!!! Korn, Blink 182, Kidrock, Shania Twain, Garbage, Bush, Fastball, No Doubt, Sarah McLachlan, Celtic music, anything really, I'm an eclectic listener.

Hmmm, well that's about it, want to know more 'bout me? I have no idea why you would want to, but anywho you can email me.