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State of the Spike and Dru Address - An Update Rant

UPDATE - Nothing exciting, just a note to let everyone know what I'm up to. It is September 7, 2001. I have not updated this site in almost nine months. If you read the rants on this site than you know I stopped working on it out of protest over the BuffyLove storyline. You already know how I feel about that, so I'm not going to sit here and rehash it all for you. Here's the Cliff Notes version though, for those folks who don't feel like reading the whole sorry story: The BuffyLove is the worst thing that has happened to television since the Olsen Twins decided their TV career wasn't going to end with "Full House." Enough said on that.

Okay, so why am I writing this? Well, just to let everyone know that I've made good on my promise to quit watching the show. I haven't looked at it at all since last I said I would (which was right before Christmas, I think). I've completely turned my back on the show, and to tell you the truth, I could not be happier. God only knows the grief I'd be experiencing right now if I had actually forced myself to watch this crap the past nine months. I have not sold my soul to the devil, I didn't jump off the cliff with the other lemmings and land on the BuffyLove bandwagon. I've kept my sanity and kept my dignity and totally abandoned the show. If you'll allow me to get a little melodramatic here for a moment, I feel as if I've made the ultimate sacrifice. I'm not Gandhi, I know, but I still gave up something I loved dearly (the show and this site) for the sake of principle, as a sort of symbol to what used to be. I don't think I could have ever left this show if I hadn't loved it so much in the first place. If it meant pretty much nothing to me, I probably would have sat there and watched whatever they put on the screen. It's because I have such respect and love for what the show used to be that it would have just broken my heart to have to sit and endure this drivel they call entertainment.

The sad thing here is that the show has gone so far overboard that it's pretty much destroyed the love I used to have for the show, meaning that I can't even look at old episodes without wanting to puke. Don't get me wrong, I will always admire and respect the show for what it was, but unfortunately what it is now stills looms a bit too large in my mind to allow me to even watch what I used to like. In other words, I think I treasure my memories of how much I used to enjoy BtVS before it all went to hell than I actually do watching the actual episodes that I used to enjoy...if that makes sense. Is anybody else disturbed by that? I mean, us poor S/D fans couldn't even have Season 2 as a stand-alone memory; noooooo, "Fool For Love" had to destroy that by insisting Spike loved Buffy all along. Well, bullshit I say. I felt that I didn't have to sacrifice my love of the show just for the chance to ogle James Marsters every week. I don't care how good looking the guy may be; I'm not sitting there, torturously watching the BL play out while think "Well, at least I still get to see James every week." Riiiiight, that's a great way to go through life. That's like saying, "My rich good-looking husband cheats on me every chance he gets, but by staying married to him at least I still get to spend his money and screw him whenever he's sick of all his other floozies." That's exactly how I feel. Us Spike/Dru shippers have been cheated on, and instead of staying in a loveless marriage, I got a divorce.

I've still got a pretty good idea what's going on because I post frequently on one Spike/Dru message board (Spike and Drusilla @ ezboard), and from what I've heard, I got out just in time. If I actually had the misfortune to have continued watching, I'd probably be crazier than Dru right now. Hearing about stuff is bad enough, but I figured I'd stay a little connected to the BtVS community in case some bit of news pops up concerning the return of the real Spike, if you know what I mean.

Summing this up, I'd just like to say that my decision to stop watching this show was the best decision I've ever made; it was the right decision. I flatter myself to think that I'm a pretty intelligent person, and I feel like if I'm going to devote a lot of my time and brainpower to discussing a show and building a website devoted to it, if I'm going to give something of myself, well, I want something back. BtVS just stopped giving. The fact that I've left the show so easily (and believe me, it was incredibly easy to just walk away, so much easier than I thought) makes me wonder if Spike/Dru and the show meant all that much to me in the first place. After all, if you really love something, one of the hardest things you can do is let it go. I really really really loved BtVS, and I loved Spike/Dru more than anything, but I think the reason I walked away from those things so easily is because they stopped existing. For me, Spike/Dru and BtVS ended for me the night the BuffyLove started, and it's much easier to leave something when it's no longer there for you to go back to.

I find it both sickening and sad that so many people have swallowed the BL storyline with such ease. "It's a logical progression" they say. "It only makes sense" they say. "It's just soooooo cool, and James is just sooooooo FINE, and Buffy is soooo AWESOME, they're just like Britney and Justin!!!" they squeal. Well, as the old Spike might have once said, "Bollocks to that." If you're an S/D fan that is continuing to watch the show because you're still holding on to one final shred of hope that Spike and Dru will get back together, well, I say congrats; you're infinitely stronger than me and you have nerves of steel. If, on the other hand, you're one of these Redemptionistas that thinks the BuffyLove is the greatest thing ever, well, I say congrats to that too. Enjoy the show, it's fully and completely yours now, you've won. But don't forget to say farewell to your brain cells, as each one disintegrates because they just can't process the absurdity and ridiculousness of the BL. Before you warm-up your fingers in preparation for some nasty letter to me, please note that whatever I say about S/B shippers is not inclusive of all S/B shippers; I would be stupid to make such a crass generalization, and thus no better than those certain S/B shippers who really are close-minded militant freaks who know no way but their own. I know plenty of S/B fans are really nice folks; in addition to the many nasty letters I'm sent, I do get some from people saying stuff like "I don't agree with you, but hey, to each his own". Unfortunately, the majority of my experiences have been in dealing with the bad apples that spoil the proverbial bunch. My comments here are only directed at the precious few who insist on slumming at message boards that are for the character of Spike, yet refusing to acknowledge and flaming anybody who isn't a supporter of the "new" Spike. You know who you are. As I was saying...S/B supporters are also much stronger than me, because you can so easily accept, support, and enjoy something that to me just screams "STUPID!!" I can only wish I were so...uh, compliant. Maybe then I'd still be watching the show I used to love so much.

Feel free to e-mail me to tell me how much you agree, or e-mail me to bitch me out, but if you do the latter, don't think for a second that I 1). Will even remotely care about what you say, and 2). Won't tell my lovely S/D shipper friends all about whatever it is you say so we can enjoy many hearty laughs and guffaws at your expense. The first amendment says you can express yourself, so feel free to do it, but until they amend the constitution to say so, I'll deride and laugh at you and your opinions as much as I want. I think the Big Bad would have been proud of that ;-)