If Only 3
No Reprieve
by Jinx

Pairing: J/D

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Jack remembers his and Danny's last night together.

Notes: Not beta--all mistakes mine, Mine, MINE! :)

As I watch you move
Across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave
The dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving
So raises your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you call my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
As we move to embrace
Tears run down your face
I whisper words of love so softly
I can't believe this pain
It's driving me insane
Without your touch life will be lonely
So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you call my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you call my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
Morning has come another day
I must pack my bags and say
Goodbye, goodbye
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you call my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you call my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
*****Breathe "All That Jazz"

The place looks the same even after all these years. Well, it's not like it was likely to change, now, was it? I mean, I *have* been coming here every year for the past forever. There's just nothing like a cabin on a lake to make things seem right.

I love it here.

Jack was lounging on the swing on the porch of the small cabin by the lake, one leg tucked under him and the other out-stretched beside him, his ankle on the arm of the swing. He sipped his beer as he watched a bird descend, snag a fish, and fly away.

It had taken him only a day and a half of constant driving to bring him to his grandfather's cabin in Minnesota. This is where he decided to retire.

Good memories lay in the old cabin. Plus, there wasn't anything to remind him of what he left behind other than his own memories, and with enough beer in his system, he might be able to forget for awhile. It worked for Charlie, it could work for Daniel.

Damn! Just when I thought I was gonna be able to play the forgetting game, my little mind has to conjure him up. Shit. Why? Why? Why?

Disgusted with himself, Jack got up and emptied the contents of the bottle over the porch railing. He looked out over the lake, but his mind was definately elsewhere. After a few moments, he heaved the bottle toward the lake, missing the edge of the water by yards.

Shit! I hate it here!

He stomped off the porch and into the building, slamming the door behind him.

The days and nights went by in a haze. Jack found that the days went by fairly quickly, for the most part. There was a lot to do around the old cabin to keep him busy. Getting the wood cut, stacked and ready for winter kept him busy for most of the day, but the nights... The nights, well, they basically sucked. This whole loving-something-and-setting-it-free business wasn't all it cracked up to be. He knew Daniel should be with Sha'u'ri. That was Danny's whole purpose of staying with the SGC. He knew he shouldn't have gotten involved with the younger scientist. He knew he should have stayed "the friend". He knew... he knew, he knew, he knew! Shit! There was a lot of things he knew, but that didn't help matters, now, did it? He knew the moment he laid eyes on the anthro-geek he was done for. He fell in love that instant. Okay, okay, maybe it wasn't love-on-first-sight, kinda stuff. More like annoyance at first sight, growing to tolerance, turned into admiration, followed by love. Who cares! The point is, Colonel Jack O'Neill, of the esteemed USAF, was stupid enough to give his heart away to someone who was already taken. And the fucking nights just made it that much worse.

He lay wake for the fourth night in a row, going over the last night he and Daniel were together. It was a night right out a fucking romance novel. Daniel was sitting up in bed, reading some old tome, brushing up on some information the team had found on their last mission. Jack lay on his stomach, face at the foot of the bed and feet at the head of the bed. He was watching a game on the small television set they had in their room.

//Shit! *Still* think of it as "our" room. I hate my life!// Jack tossed himself around the bed until he was comfortable before resuming his musing.

Every once in awhile, Jack's foot would snake its way under Daniel's elbow, nudging him a little. Finally, Daniel had had enough and he trapped the foot between his elbow and body, effectively stopping the movement. Jack was content to let him be. Sometime during the game, however, Jack lay his head down on his folded arms and dozed. The game, for once, not keeping him interested enough to pay close attention. During his doze, he remembered mumbling, "'love you, danny." The next thing he was aware of was a body laying full length on his back. He smiled as he felt Danny nuzzle the side of his neck. "Love you, too, Jack," was heard before a tongue was plunged inside his ear.

Trapped, Jack could do nothing but moan and wriggle beneath the archeologist. Daniel continued his onslaught, sucking a lobe into his mouth and suckling gently. Jack tried to roll over, but, Daniel was not letting him. Jack was at the mercy of his lover.

Daniel continued his torture. Sucking gently at the colonel's ear merely made Jack wriggle more. Moaning filled the room, but he couldn't tell if it were himself or Daniel. Soon, the inquisitive mouth left Jack ear, the air cooling the moist apendage, and traced a path down Jack's neck, trailing a slick passage down the side of his throat to his shoulder, where his t-shirt and skin were simulaniously sucked into the wet heat. He groaned his approval, but did not move. He loved it when Daniel became the aggressor, and the weight of his lover turned him on like nothing else.

Said weight disappeared and he began to protest before warm hands slid up his sides, taking his shirt with them. He lifted up enough for the t-shirt to be removed, and lay back down, Daniel's body pressing him down immediately. Daniel continued moving his mouth across Jack's shoulders, traveling down and across the expanse of his back. Daniel was very talented with his tongue, and it glided lower, marking a course to the swell of Jack's buttocks. The weight lifted again, but only for a moment. Agile hands slipped around Jack's waist and deftly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants without the need for sight. Before he knew what was happening, Jack's pants jointed the shirt on the floor and the comforting weight was back upon him. This time, however, the weight was as naked as he was. //All right!// The volcanic heat that ignited from their two bodies was enough to make any man explode from the pleasure. However, Jack was in a languorous mood and in no hurry to move things along. He wanted this to last. All night, if possible. There was something nagging at the back of his mind that made him *want* to move slowly tonight. He couldn't quite grasp why, but....

"Oh, Danny, YES!" His thoughts were interrupted when Daniel began lapping around his anus. //How the hell did he get down there so fast?! Good god!!// Jack moaned at the sensation, loving the questing tongue. If there was one thing that Daniel could do well, rimming would be it! The guy was a master. On several occasions, he was known for making the colonel come by that action alone. Jack prayed tonight was not one of those nights. He wanted this to last.

Daniel continued rimming Jack's ass, tongue darting into his hole unexpectedly then returning to run wide circles around his ass. Spontaneity being Daniel's middle name, he would dart in and out, then run his tongue slowly down to the perineum and back up again, tracing wide circles around Jack's butt, dipping in and out of the crack, but not touching the hole. In essence, driving Jack insane. While Daniel's tongue kept itself busy, his hands were also active. One hand feeling the small of Jack's back, running his fingers along its curves, until reaching the buns. The other snaking around to lightly tease Jack's cock.

The tongue was removed to be replaced by dexterous fingers, running gently between the crack, one finger touching where his tongue just left. The light touch of Daniel's finger was driving Jack to the edge. He cried out Daniel's name just as the other man buried his face against Jack's ass, nipping and teasing the hole once more.

Although, Jack wanted nothing more than to turn over and participate in this lovemaking, he contented himself with the attention, knowing Daniel relished in making love to Jack, being in control. Jack spread his legs wider and began moving his whole body in the rhythm to the tonguing motions, pushing back toward the tongue and rotating his hips. His groans rose in volume and his breathing increased. He was sure to come any moment.... The next he was aware, a chill penetrated his brain (and his back) as he realized that Daniel had moved away.

"Danny?" he whispered, pleading to the younger man.

"Shh, Jack. I'm here. Not going anywhere. Relax."

Jack smiled into his still crossed arms and waited for the inevitable. He could hear drawers opening and closing and then a sliding sound, //Oh, my god! Daniel's coating his cock.// Jack wanted nothing more than to be Daniel's fingers at that very second, gliding up and down that large shaft, slicking it up, feeling it harden. Jack could see in his mind's eye the long fingered hand slowly running up and down the swollen cock, squeezing at the base, becoming gentler and gentler the closer he got to the head. Jack groaned at the image.

He was so into his imagination that he failed to realize that Daniel was preparing him until three fingers brushed against his prostate. His screamed filled the room and he clinched his asshole around Daniel's fingers with the pleasure.

"Oh, god, Danny, NOW!" He dug his fingers into the bed spread as his forehead pushed deeper into the blanket.

He heard a chuckle behind him before the fingers were removed. Slowly, more slowly than Jack would have like, Daniel entered him. Where Daniel was getting his self-control from, Jack never knew. The only thing he was aware of at that moment was that Daniel was slowly killing him with tenderness. Once Daniel was fully encased, he began withdrawing and pushing in, withdrawing and pushing in. The speed was maddening in its slowness, driving Jack to his breaking point. Or so he thought.

But, Daniel had other plans.

While fully inside Jack, and without words, Daniel wrapped his arms around Jack's chest, gently guiding Jack into a kneeling position before moving him further to sit up straight; Jack straddling Daniel's thighs, riding him. The two men stayed like that, Jack sitting in Daniel's lap, slowly pushing himself up and down the shaft within him, as his head was thrown back and cushioned on Daniel's shoulder.

Just when Jack thought it couldn't get any better, Daniel slid one hand slowly down to Jack's cock, causing Jack to cry out once more. The grip on his cock was as the movement of his fucking; slow and gentle. Jack thought he would die from the exquisite torture. Nothing and no one in this world could ever make him feel this good. He moaned as Daniel took his mouth in a tender kiss, running his tongue slowly around Jack's mouth, claiming him like no other. Jack felt Daniel's other hand glide softly up and down his chest, fingers finding a nipple and pinching lightly.

With so much sensation assaulting Jack from every direction, he was bound to reach his limit. Not wanting to, but feeling his body get closer to the edge, Jack moaned one last time into the sweet mouth before plummeting off the cliff, Daniel's name ripping from his lungs.

Jack came at the memories, come dripping down his softening cock. He rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to clean up. The cabin was cool as the fire he built before going to bed was down to embers, and he built it back to a roaring blaze before heading back to bed.

The memories of that last night was a constant reminder of what he would never have again. But, also, it was a reminder of the joys he once had, too. Though it hurt to think about, it also was the best time he had.

//Bittersweet, huh?//

Laying down, Jack recalled that last night again, waking a few hours later in Daniel's arms and seeing the smiling blue eyes looking down on him. He remembered smiling back and bringing that beautiful head down to lay claim to those full lips. The kiss was something never experienced before and never to be experienced again. They made love like that all night long, Daniel taking charge for the most part. Jack's mind exploding over and over.

I wonder if he knew? The things he did to me that night were, let's face it, mind-blowing. He'd never acted that way before. At least not to that extent. It was like he was saying goodbye.

Wiping his suddenly wet face into the pillows, Jack turned to the wall and fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next day brought more of the same.... Jack rolled out of bed, fished a little, cut some wood, hiked in the surrounding forest, but, whatever he did, nothing could take away the memories of his last night with Daniel. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed that, somehow, Daniel was saying goodbye that night. Whether Daniel knew it consciously or not, Daniel took Jack to where he had always wanted to go, and it lasted only for the night, never to be repeated again, as if it were Daniel's way of saying goodbye, of letting Jack go. The day ended with Jack nursing a beer, listening to the stereo, and reading. Nothing eventful, aside from the memories he lived by.

That night, as he sat listening to an old favorite, a memory came unbiddened. He remembered telling Daniel, when they returned to earth the second time, about Charlie, and how he could never forgive himself, but, sometimes he could forget. He found himself doing the same thing. Though, for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what there was to forgive. Truly, there was nothing. He always knew that if Sha'u'ri was to return, Daniel would and should go to her. She was his wife, by Abydonian law, and that was the way it should be. Jack had no claims to Daniel other than loving the linguist more than any other. Daniel was his lifemate, soulmate, however you want to put it, but that didn't change the fact that his 'soulmate' was a married man, and that the married man's wife was back. But, dammit, it hurt so much. Much more than when the divorce papers came through. That was more of a relief. This was definately not a relief. Far from it. This was hell, pure and simple. But, there was nothing he could do about it now other than feel sorry for himself for awhile until the pain went away.

God, he hoped the pain would go away soon.

end

Next: Revelations