It's been over two years since the last entry and here I am today, still not quite able to step out of the looming shadows and into the promises of tomorrow.  How's that for progress....frankly, pretty fucking pathetic.  I hate that I can't allow myself to see things in clear black and white, that i have to reach my hand into the pot to stir up hazy grey mucks of messes that really should have been left to stew on its own.  Some days I feel like I should just be this selfish and all-consuming person who takes and takes everything and gives nothing in return because, why not, those who are that way seem to always come out ahead of the game.  And that thing people call karma that supposedly is lurking around waiting to come and deliver justice to the bad boys and girls, well surely that must be just a myth.  This jaded thing called life is really starting to chip away at any resolve and integrity that I've built up all these years.  Today has been a rough day...