(1998)

You touch me

I squirm

Your softness tickles my skin

setting my nerves aflame

Searing my muscles with

spasms... beyond enduring

Such pain!

Please... (Please stop.) 

(Started in 1994, completed in 2003)

silence

cycles of a repertoir of

words, cutting quips, nothing original,

new.

silence

defying time, change, situations

remain the same, in this stagnant pool 

of

ideas

like convection currents the same

to and fro of echange recycled by old

voices cut down by the same tired replies.

silence

dull players strut like fools, awaiting

Godot beyond, all caring

knowing.

silence

trapped like a recursively

looping drama while the plot sickens... no,

end. 

(1995, a haunting dream at a time of spiritual crisis)

I am the Rock, on which a Church has

foundered, and I long once more for the

simplicity of fishing, for all that

I built, in the name of Jesus

has collapsed with corruption and guilt.

Oh Father forgive me this sad and

pitiful tragedy, I knew not

what I did.

I am the rock on which damnation

grows, leading my people, like lambs to

slaughter: I watch them sacrifice each

other through senssless conflict, bitter

war...

Oh wretched am I, my lord,

beholding such pointless pain, they know not

what the do...

Holding in vain your name, my God

holding your name in disdain. Oh

release me from this suffering

my beloved, my hope. Give them

a new Great Name. 

(1992. after a visit to Hobson's Park, Traralgon, Vic. Aust.)

Its been a long time since I put pen to

paper in a maner most lyric, nor

have I placed well chosen words

about some idle

thought; yet I find moreover, that

I'm at a loss to extol the beauties,

or troubles I find... for I've lost the

power of words.

I've lost that sense of raw

emotion, hanging on words of strength; the

cutting quip; the vulger verse: that portrays

so well that, "tabloid of the taboo;"      I

no longer feel the passion, which words

describe...

                    (I feel such loss as helpless)

This loss of words, like a loss of limbs, or

a nose: cut to spite some face... events now

misplaced, and uncertain in history...

...and I seek to write

of the call of the Currawong, telling

of the comming rain; the clicking of

Cicada: along some Anzac Boulevard

busy with Saturday traffic; and of

the affairs of my heart, as they swing, back

from dreams of joy, and forth to shattered hope...

still!

       ...but my words have lost their power, their

sense of rightness, and I sit, forlorn at

the loss, lamenting their loss. 

(1990. After a particularly savage nightmare, the opening dedication for the book, "Wake in Fright" readily came to mind.)

Night encroaches on me now.

This twilight quickly fading

and with it,

my last hopes, and aspirations...

It's a straless night; again

no moon or street light,

only the glow, of an

ever darkening nightmare, drawing near.

Black on black, with shades

of coal-black shadows,

blotting out

and smothering the dimness in my soul.

My screams, fall on deaf ears:

ears that wear dark glasses

over blind eyes;

Screams, roaring from a tongueless mouth...

"Lay waste the land!

 lay bear the heart!

 lay low this indecisive bastard! 

 lay waste.. lay down... lay... ..."

Night passes on, leaving now

a devilish dawn, glówéríng

over bitter tears...

waking me in startled fright. 

Reflection

A hidden lie

The mirror of eyes

Fragmented thought

A shattered ego

The world watching one man

Glowing moon

A shimering outline

The twighlight fast fading

Images cast

A stary sky

The shadows devour me

: A quivering flame

  on a wax candle. 

(Started in 1988, completed in 1994)

1. 

Harken to the rain!

It's falling on the roofing iron,

the lulling calms my brain,

rare music in this bleak asylum...

calming shattered nerves. 

 

2.

Listen to the rain!

It's beating on the window glass.

Now washing away my pain,

watch it splashing in the grass...

Will it clense a festered wound?

3.

Batter and batter,

goes the water on the ceiling;

sheeted droplets scatter,

I've lost all sense of feeling:

 

(my thoughts are growing dim)

4.

Listen to the rain

falling on the roofing iron.

The patter stills my brain –––

there's no better night for cryin' 

(1990, for Michelle R. – Snow White meets Sleeping Beauty and Juliet)

It was cold outside.

The wind howled through the snowgums

and blew its way into your heart;

I found you lying there.

In a coffin of ice,

glistening in the sun;

I reached out,

disparing to see you

lying so still...

(And so far from my embrace)

It wás yóur happiness I sought...

My dear Princess...

Mute indifferencewas all I found;

...so I lay me down, beside you

on the frigid ground

And there, at last found peace. 

(1987, in a half built house lit by a kerosene Lamp. No power, sewage, water. Daylesford, Vic. Aust.)

Silent Words,

march endlessly,

across my mind;

They are an undercurrent,

flowing beneath my thoughts,

occasionally surfacing,

in quiet times,

when foremost thoughts,

seek the background

of my conscience; 

A my senses swim:

patterns of white lines on black,

are etched beneath ,y eyelids,

my mind is numbed

by constant pain

somewhere in the top of my head;

'And music bubbles unbidden

from the depths of memory...

sounds storm my senses,

making mindless impressions,

competing for my attention;

'And information

continues to expand:

a useless, billowing fountain...

All is  intense

as though a crashing wave

were resounding in an icy fjord;

I am sinking!

loosing sight

of all my goals,

in the dark,

murky depths,

of another uncharted...

depression... 

(The Rose Garden, Monash Gippsland - GIAE, Churchill, Vic. Aust. A Sunny Day. 1989)

lay waste the land

as far as the eye can see

with drough and barrenness...

that I might fill this empty hollow

that gnaws like hunger

deep inside of me!

löay bear the heart

of this world so callous and

spatter its life blood... like

volcanic acne upon

some face, that I might find

solace... in such pain!

'for little of Man

can fill this wound that festers

and grows like a vacuum

in my soul ––– tearing me apart so

completey ––– my nerves

shatterd and still!

lay wast the land

that I might watch another's death

throes ––– their rending apart

a testimony to every

hell that I might live,

because I'm still alive!