TRUE STORY #59

MY NEIGHBORS KNOW I'M AN ASSHOLE

On Saturday, my mom took me out to get some Subway. Now, we all know how I am totally brainwashed into thinking it's the best fast food out on the market thanks to that catchy Clay Henry jingle. But less of that more of this…

We decided to eat at home cos it's more comfortable there. So I get out of my truck and I run up to the porch really excited like. On my way over, I somehow manage to trip on my own feet and the steps at the same time, making my left foot twist under my right foot, throwing me down at a 80° angle or so. I wound up getting a nice bruise on my leg and a few sore muscles on my ankle. Aside from that, after the incident, I ran my ass into the house ASAP cos all my neighbors thought it was a nice day to be outside and just so happen to see me eat shit on my porch.

THE END