Okay, so I had yesterday off of school, and today off of work, and yet...I still haven't had a break. On my day off from school, I was at Bing's all morning. But that's not bad - his Mom and Granny made a wonderful Chicken casserole and I got to drink cream soda even though I couldn't taste any of it with this new cold I've acquired. I tried to do the wheel barrel trick with Nutmeg (picking up the dog's back legs and pushing them around on their front legs), but she sat down on my hands instead and yipped. Then I felt bad.
Barb asked me if I wanted some casserole to take home and I accepted, and then when it was time to go I left it there. By that time my cold was really beginning to take a hold of me and I had a headache which made me extra forgetful. I also forgot my notebook so I had to borrow paper from someone today in class.
As Bing and I wheeled and walked up to his modified hand-driven van, I noticed something gross splattered all over the passenger window. "What's that?" I asked. "Uhhh...Bird poop?" He answered. "What? No way - what kind of bird could make that huge of a mess?" He shrugged as the chair lift cranked him into the van. "A really big one?" I stepped close enough to reach around and unlock my door and noticed a bit of shell stuck to the window. "It's an egg!" I exclaimed, "Someone threw an egg at your van!" Again Bing shrugged. "Hmm. I wasn't aware of anyone in this neighborhood having a problem with my parking here...I've been parking here for more than a year." I began to get all puffed up and indignant. "Who would do such a thing???" Bing remained apathetic as usual. "Eh. Doesn't bother me. They can waste an egg if they want." So I calmed down somewhat. Only when he was having trouble seeing the traffic coming one way did he admit that it was somewhat of a nuisance.
At work several things went wrong, but I was so worn out that I did not have the chance to write it all down. And in my muddled state of mind, I forgot all except that this lady stayed after we closed and wouldn't go away until 10:30 (we close at 9:30). So Jen ended up doing all the work while I helped this indecisive woman pick out 20 different chords for her pendants and calculated out cost and tax for each. At least in the end she spent something like $126. So I guess that's good for the store, but it didn't make any difference to me except that I had to stay standing with snot dripping out of my nose and bright lights hurting my tired eyes for longer than I was supposed to. The boss gave me a ride home and at home I crashed and slept for 9 hours straight, making myself late for school the next morning. The alarm yelled at me for an hour and 50 minutes and I did not stir until 5 minutes before I was to catch the bus. I woke up all sweaty and then crawled out to try to catch the second bus so I'd only be 15 minutes late rather than a half hour. I opened the door and found that it was pouring rain. Yay. For a minute I stood there, trying to decide which was worse: Wearing big black boots with tan pants and a white T-shirt, or white shoes that matched that were cracked in the bottoms. Time was running out so I decided to just go in the white shoes I had on and try to avoid puddles. I grabbed my umbrella out of my bottom dresser drawer and took off, stepping in a shallow puddle before I made it out of the parking lot even. As cold water soaked into my sock I muttered and growled and grumbled. Then water came into my other shoe and soon my feet were wet enough on the inside that I might as well have been walking through a river. I just barely made the bus - I had to run, and the bus would have left me if it wasn't for the lady who'd just gotten off who saw me running and flagged the busdriver to stop. I was very grateful.
Made it to class just in time to take a quiz (converting decimal numbers to binary and hex on the white board in front of the entire class). One guy said he liked my trench coat and asked where I got it. I paused, wondering whether I should admit it was from SACKS second-hand thrift store, but then decided that less information was better. Especially since I was standing in front of the entire class at the moment. So rather than go off on a tangent on how I shop at Goodwill type stores and wear my shoes until they're literally falling apart, I said, "Montana." and that was good enough.
So then I found Bing and helped him until lunch at which time we drove to Arby's and got roast beef sandwiches and curly fries. We drove back to school and Bing tried to hit all the puddles because he likes creating large splashes that cover the windshield. I tried to discourage him at first, but it was fun, and the wipers were working so it was okay. He said he made sure there weren't any pedestrians first too, heh heh.
So this being my day off of work, instead of staying with Bing until 3:30 I ended up staying 'til 6 because he wanted to catch Stacey's Animation club event. So I stuck around and we went and saw one of the professors giving a presentation on his Ninja Turtle model which was really cool.
Then Bing drove me home and I stepped in one last puddle before getting inside my apartment. I took off my soggy shoes and peeled off my wet gray-footed socks to find my feet all wrinkley and moist. It's a good thing I live alone. Whew.
Got a letter from my sister Merry and so I decided to call her, and then, since I missed my brother's birthday the 9th, I called him. Then I painted this warthog and scanned it in about 6 different pieces, put the pieces together and shrunk it down to a more managable size. Outside the computer it's about 18 by 24 inches.
I ate microwave kettle korn for a late supper and now I'm going to go to sleep since it's 2 a.m. Maybe I'll dream about cats in the library again and my high school friend Melissa from Arkansas meeting my other high school friend Melissa from Montana. Or maybe I'll dream about getting shot again or flying. Flying is funner.
Goodnight.
Last night I caught up on Arkady's Blog (see my Links page) and loved the words in Wednesday, October 22. Beautiful. It made me want to write beautiful words, but instead I drew this. I dunno. Maybe words would have been lovlier. But at least it's...happy.
Yesterday was...Thursday. My painting day, yes. I actually got to class on time and brought my warthog along to be critiqued, but in the end it was me who critiqued it to death instead of my professor (though he did help me to understand why I think it's so darned boring and dull). I decided that I want to mess with it more. I'll get some spackle and create some 3-D texture in his tusks and warts and maybe do some crazy stuff with his eyes. Maybe. Ron, my professor suggested that I step away from realism for a moment and try to do something unnatural and abstract for a change. So I sat and did weird colors with thick texture all over my canvas then sat and stared at it while it dried. "What are you going to do?" he asked. "I don't know." I answered decisively. I took a break while it dried and reminisced about Dogpatch, the old theme park (based on the comic L'il Abner) my family used to visit when I was a kid. It's now abandoned and infested with copperheads and wild dogs. All the rides are falling apart and vandals have destroyed a lot of the buildings and statues it seems. Very sad.
So then I returned to my painting and Ron asked again, "Have you decided what you're going to do?" And I said, "A cliff with someone looking down at a pile of bones" but then right after that I got the idea of having a skeleton on the top of the cliff instead and a dog with his missing hand at the bottom of the cliff. So I painted that and then an evil devil head in the cliff side, and then all sorts of twisted evil-looking things in the rest of the cliff face. Ron came by and looked at me with a masked laugh and pointed out that I was doing realism again. And indeed I was. It was only abstract in idea, not appearance. Poop. I said, "I know..." and continued to paint fire and a dragon and and angel reaching for the skeleton, and then when I was all done I looked at it, frowned, and tossed it aside because it was the most ugly thing I've produced in a long time. Absolutely crap. Ron said it was because I didn't have a plan and I agreed. I will paint over it all later. It was very frustrating. What a waste of time - and I didn't even do what I wanted to do in the first place.
I worked on my alien head a little in sculpture, then went to digital painting and looked up reference pictures on google the whole time. What a waste. I should be more on the ball with that class. I can look up google pictures any time. I can ask my teacher for help and advice on rarer occasions. So then as I was walking away from class I turned to Sunder and Dave, some of my classmates who were also leaving and I asked Sunder where he was from and what his culture was. He said he used to live in west Africa near India and I asked him if he was a vegetarian and he said "No.", then he and Dave agreed that that was a stereotype. So then I felt awkward and decided to ask Dave where he was from. He said his ancestry is Chinese, but he was born in the United States. I said my anscestry was boring European and I was related to Johnny Appleseed and James K. Polk. Then I found Tim and remembered that I said I would play maracas with him. So I said I'd like to eat first (it was 3:30 and I was pretty hungry). He said Tristan and he were going to Wendy's if I'd like to come. So I said okay and remembered at that moment that my boss had requested that I spread Reggae spam around for Mikey Dread's upcoming show. So I pulled out my pamplets and put them all over Cuban Pete's and went to Wendy's with Tim and Tristan.
At Wendy's I ordered chicken nuggets and a double hamburger because Tim and Tristan said they made a good sandwich all put together. I forgot to ask for no pickles or mustard though, so I had to wipe it all off with napkins. Bleh. Tim let me borrow a dollar and a dime and I gave him a chicken nugget so it would just be a dollar. Then I ate half my sandwich before I remembered I needed to pray for my food. So I excused myself and prayed quick and went back to eating. So then Tristan and Tim talked about religion for the rest of the time and put me on the spot. I was happy to answer their questions, but I don't know if either are serious about it. They are seldom serious individuals. In fact, they seem to be humorous by default so it's hard to detect whether they're making fun or really interested seriously because they make so many jokes. But I did my best and went home with Tim to play his maraca game. It was really fun - it was a rhythm game like DDR, but with maracas, of course, and the game was a weird mix of Mexican and Japanese, heh heh. Tim also showed me a weird rabbit game and "Pepsi Man" which is basically a huge interactive advertisment. Around 6 we went to Frys so I could deposit my checks and Tim could get milk. I bought some saspirilla and gave Tim a can, then went back to school to meet clone brother Daniel and Bing for our Christian music thing. We listened mostly to Audio Adrenaline (which actually ain't that bad) and then I drew this picture while Bing did homework and he drove me home afterwards.
At home I discovered a policeman riding a horse around our parking lot (which I found rather cool) and then I sat around watching TV and eating chocolate. In the middle of the news I kept hearing this thudding rumbling concussion sort of noise like in the movie Jurassic Park when the T-rex is walking. I muted the TV, ran over to my door and threw it open, but heard nothing. So I closed it and kept hearing the weird noise. I walked around, but it seemed to be only in my living room area, and then I put my ear to the floor and felt carpet yarn in my ear canal (an odd sensation), and it seemed to be just as loud there. I tried the wall next but it wasn't coming from there. So I thought that maybe it was my downstairs neighbor, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out what would be making such an inconistent yet continuous T-rex footstep noise. It wasn't regular enough to be music and it was too often to be a movie...I think. My imagination came up with all sorts of wild ideas like making bombs or mad scientist experimentation with small explosions but of course, none of them fit quite right to explain what I was hearing. So finally I just gave up, watched M*A*S*H and fell asleep in my clothes again.
How sad is it that I didn't even bother to update on my birthday? Well, let's just say I've been terribly busy this week. I didn't even realize it until my boss told me I worked 41 hours today. And Barb says I worked 12 for Bing. Guess I was kind of in a daze. I think I might be behind in school too. This is just rotten all around. Why can't I be like other people at school and live off my parents for a couple of years, dedicating my time and efforts towards my degree and my novel and art? I don't want my life to be made up of work and sleep (and of course, bathing and eating). I want to LIVE darn it!
So I worked on my birthday. Jen gave me smiley socks and a card and when I got home I found that Meg had slipped some chocolates and jelly bellys into my bookbag which was really nice. Mom and Jake sent me a package with lots of cool stuff in it - cookies, books, a shirt Jake made in art class with a "fly zombie", and a flowy black shirt from Mum. The cookies are all gone, but I did share a few. Gave some to the guy in the office (who said I was the first to ever do so) and some to the strongman downstairs and his kids (that I didn't know existed). Thursday night I got home at 8 after drawing this dinosaur and listening to music with Bing and clone-brother Daniel. I set into reading "Goodnight Mr. Tom" right off the bat (one of the books Mom sent me) and was stuck on it. I'd read it before in 8th or 9th grade, but after 6 or 7 years there was a lot I'd forgotten. So it was like reading it new all over again. It was so good that I couldn't put it down and read and read and read until 2:30 in the morning. It probably would have been better to read it over several days to let each bit sink in, but oh well. It's still smashingly excellent. I love the characters so much and the story isn't too sappy or too shallow. I would describe it as "rich" rather. Very rich, mmm. Like...Texas cake. *Drooooooool*
Oh sorry 'bout that.
So yeah - go find yourselves a copy of "Goodnight Mr. Tom" and read it over the course of a couple of days. It's very inspiring. I just wish I had more time to do something with my inspiration.
Oh yes - and yesterday I worked all day too and found myself talking to the perverted German man near the end of my shift. I didn't realize it was our notorious pervert until he asked me if I spoke German and kept telling me jokes. They were pretty funny, but after he asked me if I knew German I suspected it was the man I was warned about. He was a little overly friendly, actually. So I fled back to the register desk and asked Meg if it was him and she said "Yes" so I was glad it was time for me to go. Bing came in at that very moment and we got the heck out of dodge. I saw Matrix Revolutions for the second time and I still think it's a good movie. Not as good as the book I just suggested and not as good as say...Braveheart, but it was a nice conclusion to the trilogy with some excellent special effects. I could watch those mechs move for hours and remain enthralled. Such detail! Such power! Just like in that dream I once had, heh!
Okay bye!
I dreamt that wherever I was was being destroyed by volcanic eruptions. There was only one way out and there was lava across the way. Luckily it was black on top - partially cooled. So I ran across with only minor burns. The guy who came behind me wasn't so lucky. Fresh red lava spilled across it and he decided to take the risk and run across that like me. I said, "You can't do that! It'll burn your legs off!" He crossed and then showed me his legs and they were all gross and burned up. He didn't seem to mind though. Weird, eh?
So Tuesday I dressed up like a Gollum for my monologue for acting and movement. I had outrageous wild hair, pointy ears, and painted under my eyes with black face paint. I also did my cheek bones and fingernails. Everyone seemed to like my performance and I hope to get a tape of it soon as well as everyone else's. Eric - a rather flat-toned guy in my class did a "Devil" skit where he was the devil in charge of hell. He was absolutely wonderful because it was hilarious, yet his tone of voice remained monotone. It was perfect for him. My kind of dry humor.
So then after class I went and found Bing and he said, "Whoa, you look very ugly." I thanked him and he said I had time to go wash it off so I did. When we were going down the hall I caught Rob's eye and he said, "Hey your face looks nice." A strange commment. It made me laugh.
So then I helped Bing out until 4:30 or so and found clone-brother Daniel then. I convinced him to skip class and come to church (aren't I a positive influence?) for a Thanksgiving dinner. We rode the bus to my place so I could put down the hair part of my costume and other unnecessary burdens. We then proceeded to ride the bus North to Southern (an east-west running street). I stood on the cement bench because I felt like it and criticized the city and it's lights, describing in detail my experience in Choteau Montana where I slept in a tepee and heard nighthawks that sounded like bull frogs when they dove. Then I felt all sad because when I remember my adventures and the wild of Montana it makes my heart sick for home.
We caught the bus and a fat man whose pants were falling down sat at the front and filled the bus with his aroma. It reminded me strongly of pigs. Kind of porkish and salty, but gross at the same time. I could hardly stand it, but Daniel said he didn't really notice because he's used to "city smells."
So after a few cell phone calls we found the church and a guy met us outside the building that housed the food. He asked us if we were there for the meal and we said yes. Then he asked if we knew someone and we said, "Pete" because it was Pete who invited us. So then he said that Pete was one of his best pals and asked if we were Christians. I said I was, then began to stutter about Daniel, because I'm not sure about him. After tripping over my own words for several seconds, trying not to offend Daniel, but also trying not to lie, I just stopped and felt bad, hoping that Daniel had not taken offense.
We stepped into the building and it was carpeted and full of round tables with blue tablecloths. They all had a line through part of them where it looked like a part was sewn on because they ran out of material or it wasn't big enough to cover the whole round table so it was made with two pieces. But it seemed to be the same with all the tables so I wondered if it was just a weird style. I was lucky because right when we walked in our new friend announced that I could jump right in line because girls got to go first. So I abandoned Daniel and ran to the food.
First I chose grape soda, remarking that it's been years since I've had it. I then moved on to the main course table and immediately found myself in a dilemma because I only have two hands. I held my pop with one and my plate with the other, and so...I wasn't sure how I was going to get food ONTO the plate. There wasn't exactly a place to set it down. So I stood in front of the turkey for a while, eyeing it longingly, but no one seemed to understand that I couldn't get any. So finally I wedged my plate between my forearm and my stomach and moved my cup to that hand to free up my other. Then I just had to be careful not to dump chilly or mashed potatoes on myself with a misstep. I served myself some of the lighter slices of turkey, a warm roll, fritos with red spicey-looking chilly over them, and a slice of something that appeared to be stuffing pie. I filled the last of my space with goldfish and laughed at the fact that someone had brought "Big N' Tasteys" to the potluck.
The dessert table was next, but my plate was full, and none of the pumpkin pie was even cut yet, so I went and sat down. It was a wonderful meal and there were volunteers who served us, taking our empty plates (and Pete's fork) and offering to refill drinks. It was really nice. A pastor guy got up and told a story about a woman who lived her life in misery because she had HIV, then years later found out that she was misdiagnosed and never had to take all that medication after all. He pointed out that she wasn't thankful for having a new chance at life, but rather, bitter for what had happened. He said her daughter was thankful to have her mother back though. Then he went on to recall the story of Jesus healing 10 leppers and only one coming back to thank him. Then he talked about being thankful no matter our circumstances, for God is good. Oh yeah.
So then we sang and I met a few people whos names I almost immediately forgot (except Joe for some odd reason), and after helping to put away all the chairs and tables, we joined Pete and his buddies to watch X-men 2. It was fun and we stayed up late. I entrusted my lives to strangers to drive me home and talked about comics the whole way home like the geek that I am.
Wednesday I went to school then went to work (woo.) And Thursday I went to Bing's and ate pork chops with his family (though the original plan was to order pizza). I brougth along some popcorn kernels from some of my microwave popcorn from the other night so I could carry on my family tradition of dropping three into a basket while naming off three things you are thankful for. Everyone took a turn and thought it was a fun tradition. I played with dogs and chased a fly and tried to work on my book.
And today I worked all day and had pizza at work. A new guy was just hired and I think I smiled at him too much. I think he likes me or something because he's ever catching my eye with a too-happy look on his face. I'll do my best to discourage him. I've begun by calling him "Toad" instead of Todd. I just hope he doesn't see it as a pet name...
Arg I do hate the contraints of the clock. Why must I be restrained by time?
(and bandwidth)
The walls are caving in around me as the procrastination monster lifts his sledge to end my life like the dastardly fiend he is. And right before Christmas too. I don't know if I'm going to make it, folks. I go straight from school to work until 10:30 pretty much every day. When am I supposed to do homework? When I'm ready to collapse from exhaustion at 11 p.m. after work? How am I going to complete my sculptures, reports, paintings, and texturing if I have NO free time? I can't do this. I must talk to my boss.
Toad is still giving me the winking eye. I think I made a mistake by pretending to punch him once as I walked by. I think he may have taken it as flirting. Hissssss.
I'm running out of user space for this site. Using 19.45 MB of my 20 MB. I'll have to do some shuffling with all my pictures to cheat the system.
Today I went to the park with Bing and his Mom, Grandma, and dogs. I ran around chasing ducks with Nutmeg and we all had a blast. Bing made skid marks in the dust with his wheel chair and we wore the dogs to panting.
I forgot my jacket at home tonight and was cold at church. The sun is hot, but the air is cool. I'm not sure what to make of it. At least it isn't a blazing inferno like usual.
Mel might be coming to stay the summer with me. It makes me joyous. I hope we can work it out.
Man. I'm working a 40 hour part time job and trying to do final projects at the same time. This is killing me. But I won't talk any further about it. Instead I will talk about how delighted I am at the prospect of Mel joining me here this next summer and going home to Montana the 19th where I will finally obtain relief and relaxation.
Right now I am making a toucan puppet out of paper mache' for sculpture, and working on a couple of different paintings. This is a little side project I did real fast. It's a glass in a frame that a candle sits behind. It looks a heck of a lot better in real life. Especially with candlelight behind it. I think the light of my scanner just doesn't do it justice.
Today after securing a ride home from church, my stepbrother Matt and his girlfriend, Sue, picked me up and took me to see the Art festival uptown. It was pretty fun - there were a lot of interesting sculptures and paintings and such. Lots of metal work and jewelry too. There was a man juggling torches, kettle corn, and chocolate-covered strawberries. I looked and thought I might like to have a few things, but I bought nothing. I felt sorry for a lot of the artists whose tents were empty of people. They just sat there with all the efforts of their hard work around them, and no one seemed to want them. It made me want to buy things, but it was all so expensive. Hundreds of dollars even...far beyond my powers of expense. And I really shouldn't buy something out of pity. If I am to invenst money in a piece of art I want it to be because I love it. I didn't see anything that I loved until we were leaving. Then I met Jean Joseph MonFort, and was spellbound. He was sitting in front of a huge canvas, painting beautiful trees and animals, painting one leaf at a time, meticulous and beautiful. He had some of the most wonderful paintings I've ever seen. So I sat and talked to him for a good 15 minutes or so about how he did it all until Matt and Sue came back to drag me away. I got his card and he told me to email him. I tell you, I was ready to beg to be his apprentice, but since he lives in Los Angeles and I'm still in school, I know it wouldn't work even if he said "okay". He was so open to talk about his work too - he wasn't snobby or uptight even though the painting he was working on was going to sell for $10,000. He was so...nice. It must be because he's not from the United States (ha ha).
I still want one of his paintings at least. He's going to be one of the greats.
