Insomnia Strikes Back
Now Playing: Yes: 'Starship Trooper'
Topic: Personal
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03:33 Friday, 03 February, 2006
Endwell, NY


Ugh. This is what I was afraid of. I'd felt sleepyish since 9pm, and almost went to bed at 11:30, but decided to play Heroes a bit to be sure I actually was ready to sleep. I enjoyed playing, but felt bad doing so, since I was wasting time and knew I should just go to bed so I could get up to have breakfast with JollyGreen and her friends. So I stopped before 12:30, and crawled into bed. Once there, I found an inexplicable desire to read, so figured it couldn't be bad for 20min or so, and found myself reading another hour. So it was 01:30 and my alarm was set for 05:33, and I was feeling awfully silly. I lied down to sleep, and managed wonderfully not to. After two hours of lying there, I've finally given up. I had a brief but delicious snack of left-over fajita makings, and now I don't know what to do. While lying in bed, I had figured that my insomnia -- which had left me alone for over a week now -- was tonight caused by the knowledge that I had to get to bed because I had to get up early, whereas on all the other days it didn't much matter what time I fell asleep, since I could technically sleep forever the following day. So I thought about what I was getting up for, and determined I didn't need to. I'd be seeing the same people in the evening at the Ukrainian club, and it wouldn't involve getting up in the dark after only a few hours of sleep. So I'd turned off my alarm, thinking that the fear of the alarm clock would no longer keep me awake. But I still couldn't sleep.

So now I'm here, feeling sleepy, and thinking I should have another go at it. But if I again can't sleep, what then? I certainly won't feel like getting out of my cozy cocoon to put pants and another shirt on, after having taken them off a few minutes before. But I'll also be terribly bored and feeling non-productive lying in bed. Obviously, I can't sleep if I don't let myself try. But I already tried for two hours, and don't want to waste any more. I'm glad, at least, that I have no pressing deadlines or need to be up for work in the morning or anything. But I'd rather not sleep the entire day tomorrow, since I'm down to three days at home before I have to leave, and I have yet to pack.


04:04

O.K., after taking the time to post that, I now feel very sleepy, and I think I'll be successful this time, so I'm going to try. Wish me luck. ;)


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