Quotes Page

1. Ah! the searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying. - Apu

2. Milhouse, what happened?! You were supposed to be watching the factory! - Bart

I was watchin'. First it started to fall over, then it fell over. - Milhouse

3. I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman! - Homer

4. Dad, what's a Muppet? - Lisa

Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... [laughs hysterically] So to answer your question, I don't know. - Homer

5. As you know, we've been swimming. And we've developed a taste for it. We agree that getting our own pool is the way to go. Now before you respond, you should know that your refusal will result in months and months of... "CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad?" - Bart and Lisa

I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk. - Homer

6. Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ. - Bart

7. All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien. - Mulder

Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon. - Homer

Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I. - Scully

We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy? - Homer

8. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. - Homer

9. Oh, man, what a day. It's no cakewalk being a single parent, juggling a career and family like so many juggling balls... two, I suppose. - Chief Wiggum

10. I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." - Homer

11. [After Homer turns on the Christmas lights.] It's craptacular. - Bart

12. Hello, my name is Barney and I'm an alcoholic. - Barney

Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting! - Lisa

Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem? - Barney

13. Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube. - Homer

14.[Lisa takes Bart to the library.]

Lisa, we can't afford all these books! - Bart

Bart, we're just gonna borrow them. - Lisa

Oh. Heh heh. Gotcha. [wink] - Bart

15. Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer

Really? Where? - Lisa

Eh, somewhere in the back.- Homer

16. Whoa, careful now. These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types. So avoid eye contact, watch your pocketbook, and suspect everyone. - Homer

Three card monte! - Snake

Woo hoo! Easy money! - Homer

17. Blasted woman, you parked too close! Move your car! - Seymour Skinner

I'm in the lines. You got a problem, go tell your mama! - Edna Krabappel

Oh, don't worry, she'll hear about this. - Seymour Skinner

18. What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding... - Bart

19. Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love. - Moe Szyslak

Yeah - "All Quiet on the Western Front"! - Abe Simpson

20. It started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended in tragedy. - Milhouse

21. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fa-laaaaming. - Homer

22. It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer

23. Use reverse psychology. - Homer's brain

Oh, that sounds too complicated. - Homer

Okay, don't use reverse psychology. - Homer's brain

Okay, I will! - Homer

24. When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy. - Homer

25. Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"? - Marge

No! I swear on this Bible! - Homer

That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples. - Homer

Mmmm... fuzzy. - Marge

26. [A rock flies through Mr. Burns' office window] Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction. - Mr. Burns

27. [Ralph is lying in bed] Daddy, these rubber pants are hot. - Ralph Wiggum

28. [Homer is a Blackjack dealer]

Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond. - Ernst Stavro Blofeld

I'll take a hit, dealer. [Homer deals Bond a card.] Joker? You're supposed to take these out of the deck. - James Bond

Oh, sorry, I'll give you another one. - Homer

[Homer deals Bond another card.] What's this? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"? - Bond

What a pity, Mr. Bond... - Ernst Stavro Blofeld

[Oddjob and Jaws advance on Bond and grab him.] But... but wait! It was Homer's fault. I can't lose! I never lose! [Oddjob and Jaws drag Bond out of the casino.] At least tell me your plans for world domination! - Bond

Oh ho ho, I'm not falling for THAT one again. - Ernst Stavro Blofeld

29. Me fail English? That's unpossible! - Ralph

30. They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants. - Moe

31. [Homer dials the Flanders', who have taken his kids into foster care] "The number you have dialed can no longer be reached on this phone. You negligent monster." - Voice on Phone

32. [Looking at Uruguay on a map] Heehee! Look at this country! "You are gay." - Homer

33. Good evening, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies, so in the end, isn't that the truth? The answer is "no." - Leonard Nimoy

34. [Homer tries to gain passage on an escape rocket.] I am the piano genius from the movie "Shine." - Homer

And your name is...? - Guard

Uhh... Shiney McShine. - Homer

35. [After getting school uniforms]

These uniforms suck! - Bart

Bart, where did you pick up words like that? - Marge

Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! - Homer

Homer! - Marge

Oh, I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are lookin' at me! - Homer

36. Yeah, that Timmy O'Tool is a real hero. - Homer

How so dad? - Lisa

Well... he fell in a well... and he can't get out. - Homer

37. Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart

38. God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game. - Homer

Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two tick-- - Ned Flanders

[slams the door, looks heavenward] Why do you mock me, O Lord? - Homer

Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. - Marge

[Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands] I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious. - Homer

39. I'm better than dirt! Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt - Moe

40. [A very young Ranier Wolfcastle in a TV commercial] My bratwurst has a first name. / It's F-R-I-T-Z / My bratwurst has a second name. / It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-H-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N - Ranier Wolfcastle

41. Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the... uh... what cures cancer? - Chief Wiggum

42. Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning. - Kent Brockman

Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally. - Public Service Announcer

See? Because of me, now they have a warning. - Homer

43. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside? - Kent Brockman

Yes I would, Kent. - Professor

44. [on radio] Husband on murderous rampage! Send help! Over. - Marge

Whew, thank God that's over. I was worried for a little bit. - Chief Wiggum

45. Now get out! You're banned from this historical society! You and your children, and your children's children! ...For three months. - Hollis Hurlbut

46. Congratulations Ned, you are our new town crier. May your shrill, nasal voice ring throughout our streets and brains. - Mayor Quimby

Thankily-dank, Mayor, I shan't disappoint. Har ye, har ye! I declare myself pinkled tink about Springfield's Bicen-cidilly-ti-ten-toodly-rin-tin-tennial Day! - Flanders

47. Tell me more! I want to know ALL the constellations! - Pepi

Well, that one's Jerry, the cowboy. And that big dipper-looking thing is Alan, the cowboy. - Homer

48. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and in this house a creature *was* stirring. But the only thing he was stirring was: up trouble. - Kent Brockman

49. Ah, Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunk. - Homer

50. Let's thank the Lord for another beautiful day. - Flanders

"Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion! - Superintendent Chalmers

51. I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute. - Homer

52. Look Marge, you don't know what it's like -- I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown! - Homer

53. [Homer is teaching a university course on marriage] I do have a story about two other young marrieds. Now, the wife of this couple had an interesting quirk in the bedroom. It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow. - Homer

We need names! - Edna Krabappel

Well, er, let's just call them, uh, "Mr. X" and "Mrs. Y." So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson!" - Homer

54. [Students draw pictures in Sunday School.] Ralph, Jesus didn't have wheels. - Sunday School Teacher

55. [Moe is describing a plan to Homer]

Okay Homer, this olive is you... - Moe

Mmm... me... - Homer

56. Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I -- uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder. - Lawyer Lionel Hutz

Is that bad? - Marge

Well, he's kind of had it in for me since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son." - Lionel Hutz

57. Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people. - Homer

What about Abraham Lincoln? - Bart

Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.- Homer

58. Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. - Darth Vader

59. [Luke can't levitate his X-Wing out of the bog.] I can't. It's too big. - Luke Skywalker

Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere. Yes, even between the land and the ship. - Yoda

60. [Using the Force, Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog.]

I don't believe it. - Luke

That is why you fail. - Yoda

61. I am wondering, why are you here? - Luke

I'm looking for someone. - Yoda

Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm? - Yoda

Right... - Luke

Help you I can. Yes, mmmm. - Yoda

I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior. - Luke

Ohhh! Great warrior! [laughs and shakes his head] Wars not make one great! - Yoda

62. There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. [pauses] Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy. - Darth Vader

I'll never join you! - Luke

If you only knew the *power* of the dark side. Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father. - Darth Vader

He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him. - Luke

No. *I* am your father. - Darth Vader

63. Soon you will be like Cheese Boy: melty, melty, melty! - Artie, the Strongest Man...in the World

64. Filipino kid: You are American?

Tourist: No, I'm a Canadian. It's like an American, but without the gun. - Kids in the Hall

65. Yeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man. - Boomhauer

66. Look, Steve. Why don't you do this? Go home, wake up Marcy and say, "Hey, I lost my money. I screwed up, it won't happen again, and what's for supper?" That's what being a man is all about, Steve. Making mistakes and not caring. - Al Bundy

67. Ah, Peg. You're down here. Darn. Then I was dreaming you ran off with the dwarf down at the bookstore, and I was living in sin with a Playboy centerfold and her eight friends who could speak but chose not to. - Al Bundy

68. The babes will be calling plenty soon. I'm a senior now. A mover. A shaker. I'm the man. I've got the juice. Yup, when I was a freshman, they flushed my head down the toilet. When I was a sophomore, they flushed my head down the toilet. When I was a junior, I was getting cool, so they let me flush it myself. But now I'm a senior. And ready to rule. This year he's back, he's cool, he's dry. - Bud Bundy

Until he goes to sleep. - Kelly Bundy

69. You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun in my mouth years ago -- that little fact makes me a winner, baby! - Al Bundy

70. If you only see 10,000 movies this year, make sure this isn't one of them. - Mystery Science Theatre 3000

71. What's the point of a helmet in skydiving, in case you land on your head? - Mystery Science Theatre 3000

72. Man, infants are such babies. - Mystery Science Theatre 3000

73. I have my doubts that this movie is actually "starring" anybody. More like "camera is generally pointed at." - Mystery Science Theatre 3000

74. Are you pondering what I'm pondering? - Brain

I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like? - Pinky

75. Whitney Houston, we have a problem. - Thurgood Stubbs

76. Remember, you may have to grow old, but you don't have to mature. - Red Green

77. If my dog had eaten as much homework as I said he did, he'd be passing firelogs! - Red Green

78. It's coming right for us! - Jimbo

79. No, that's wrong, Cartman. But don't worry, there are no stupid answers, just stupid people. - Mr. Garrison

80. Do you know how hard it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off: Elvis. - Fox Mulder

81. Kill Mulder and you turn one man's religion into a crusade. - Cigarette Smoking Man

82. You can kill a man but you can't kill what he stands for. Not unless you first break his spirit. That's a beautiful thing to see. - Cigarette Smoking Man

83. Just because I can't explain it doesn't mean I am going to beleive they were U.F.O.'s. - Dana Scully

Unidentified Flying Objects. I think that fits the description pretty well. - Fox Mulder

84. Just because you aren't paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you. - Mulder

85. Mulder, are you all right? - Scully

No, it's OK. My ass broke the fall. - Mulder

86. You're so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology. - Scully

Are you coming on to me, Scully? - Mulder

87. I would never lie. I wilfully participated in a campaign of misinformation. - Mulder

88. KNEW THIS WAS ONE WAY TICKET - The Abyss

89. If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer! - Ace Ventura

90. The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me. - Dean Vernon Wormer

91. [None of his literature students are paying attention.] Don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible. [Bell rings, students rise to leave] But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for reports from some of you. ...Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job! - Professor Dave Jennings

92. They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal! - Robert Hoover

93. Point of parliamentary procedure! - Otter

I thought you were pre-med. - Boon

94. Mr. Powers, I would never have sex with you, ever! If you were the last man on earth and I was the last woman on earth, and the future of the human race depended on our having sex, simply for procreation, I still would not have sex with you. - Vanessa

What's your point, Vanessa? - Austin Powers

95. [Austin and Vanessa see a man decapitated.] Not the time to lose one's head. - Austin Powers

No. - Vanessa

That's not the way to get ahead in life. - Austin Powers

No. - Vanessa

It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong. - Austin Powers

Hmm. - Vanessa

He'll never be the head of a major corporation. - Austin Powers

Okay, that'll do. - Vanessa

Okay. - Austin Powers

96. Austin, the Cold War is over! - Basil Exposition

Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh? - Austin Powers

Austin... we won. - Basil Exposition

Oh, smashing, groovy, yay capitalism! - Austin Powers

97. Why don't you make like a tree and get outta here. - Biff

98. [Introducing Genghis Khan.] This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Ashman's Sporting Goods. - Ted Logan

99. I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire. - Bill

And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan. - Ted

100. All you boys seemed to have learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude." - Mr. Ryan

101. Hi, Bill. Hi, Ted. Need a ride? - Missy

Sure, Missy! I mean, Mom. [She smiles] - Bill

[whispering to Bill] Your step-mom's cute. - Ted

Shut up, Ted! - Bill

Remember when she was a senior and we were freshman? - Ted

Shut up, Ted! - Bill

102. You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed! - Bill

103. [Bill thought Ted was killed.]

Ted, you're alive! - Bill

Yeah, I fell out of my armor when it hit the floor! - Ted

[to each other] Fag! - Bill and Ted

104. Who was Joan of Arc? - Mr. Ryan

Noah's wife? - Ted

105. I can't believe your dad's actually going for it in your room! - Ted

Shut up, Ted. - Bill

Your step-mom is cute, though. - Ted

Shut up, Ted. - Bill

Remember when I asked her out to the prom? - Ted

Shut up Ted!! - Bill

106. [Bill and Ted meet themselves]

OK wait. If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of? - Ted

[Quadruple air guitar solo]

107. Socrates; "The only true wisdom consists of knowing you know nothing". - Bill

That's us, dude! - Ted

108. We are number one! All others are number two, or lower. - The Sphinx

109. You must've torn out the "Q" section in my dictionary, because I don't know the meaning of the word "quit"! - Mr. Furious

110. Tragedy is when I stub my toe. Comedy is when you fall through an open manhole and die. - Mel Brooks

111. We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the hammer of not bickering. - The Shoveler

112. The name's Bean. Mr. Bean. - Mr. Bean

113. All Your Base Are Belong To Us - Cats

114. We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence. - John Roux

115. There's only two men I trust. One is me. The other is not you. - Cameron Poe

116. Are you sick? - Little Girl

Why do you ask? - Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene

You look sick. - Little Girl

I am sick. - Garland Greene

Do you take medicine? - Little Girl

There is no medicine for what I have. - Garland Greene

117. The riddle...of steel. - Conan the Barbarian

Yes! You know what it is don't you boy. Shall I tell you? It's the least I can do. Steel isn't strong boy, flesh is stronger! Look around you. There, on the rocks; that beautiful girl. Come to me my child. [the woman walks off a cliff] That is strength boy! That is power! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it? Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! Such a waste. Contemplate this on the tree of woe. Crucify him! - Thulsa Doom

118. Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, the HELL with you! - Conan

119. Dad, do you think there's people on other planets? - Dr. Eleanor Ann Arroway

I don't know, Sparks. But I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space. - Theodore Arroway

120. You're an interesting species, an interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable is each other. - The Alien from Contact

121. [Luke won a game of poker on a bluff.]

Nothin'. A handful of nothin'. You stupid mullet head. He beat you with nothin'. Just like today when he kept comin' back at me -- with nothin'. - Dragline

Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand. - Luke

122. [Discussing God in the rain]

Let him go. Bam, Bam. - Cool Hand Luke

Knock it off, Luke. You can't talk about Him that way. - Dragline

Are you still believin' in that big bearded Boss up there? You think he's watchin' us? - Luke

Get in here. Ain't ya scared? Ain't ya scared of dyin'? - Dragline

Dyin'? Boy, he can have this little life any time he wants to. Do ya hear that? Are ya hearin' it? Come on. You're welcome to it, ol' timer. Let me know you're up there. Come on. Love me, hate me, kill me, anything. Just let me know it. [He looks around] I'm just standin' in the rain talkin' to myself. - Luke

123.That's not a knife. [Draws his.] *This* is a knife. - Crocodile Dundee

124. See those rocks sitting up there? Been standing there for six hundred thousand years. Still be there when you and I are gone. So arguing over who owns 'em is like a couple of fleas arguing over who owns the dog they're living on. - Crocodile Dundee

125. [James Bond's first scene, winning a game of chemin-de-fer.]

I admire your courage, Miss...? - James Bond

Trench. Sylvia Trench. I admire your luck, Mr...?

Bond. James Bond.

126. The Americans are fools. I offered my services, they refused. So did the East. Now they can both pay for their mistake. - Dr. No

World domination. The same old dream. Our asylums are full of people who think they're Naploeon. Or God. - Bond

127. It's a Smith and Wesson. And you've had your six. - Bond

128. Hold me. - Kim Boggs

I can't. - Edward Scissorhands

129. I'm going to beat your head in with a crowbar until you go away! - Terence Mann

You can't do that! - Ray Kinsella

Oh no, there are no rules here. [Advances with crowbar] - Terence Mann

[Stops] Shoot. - Terence Mann

130. Is this heaven? - Shoeless Joe Jackson

No, it's Iowa. - Ray Kinsella

131. If you build it, he will come. - The Voice

132. So what do you want? - Ray Kinsella

133. Well, you know I... I never got to bat in the major leagues. I would have liked to have had that chance. Just once. To stare down a big league pitcher. To stare him down, and just as he goes into his windup, wink. Make him think you know something he doesn't. That's what I wish for. Chance to squint at a sky so blue that it hurts your eyes just to look at it. To feel the tingling in your arm as you connect with the ball. To run the bases -- stretch a double into a triple, and flop face-first into third, wrap your arms around the bag. That's my wish, Ray Kinsella. That's my wish. And is there enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true? - Moonlight Graham

134. Everything you create, you use to destroy. - Leeloo

Yeah, we call it human nature. - Korben Dallas

135. I only speak two languages - English and bad English. - Korben Dallas

136. When I was in China on the All-American Ping Pong team, I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flexolite ping pong paddle. - Forrest Gump

137. Lieutenant Dan, what are you doing here? - Forrest Gump

138. Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always. - Gandhi

139. An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - Gandhi

140. [Buford's cavalry has sighted the Confederate army.] Meade will come in slowly, cautiously, new to command... And then, after Lee's army is entrenched behind nice fat rocks, Meade will attack finally, if he can coordinate the army. He'll attack right up that rocky slope, and up that gorgeous field of fire. And we will charge valiantly, and be butchered valiantly. And afterwards men in tall hats and gold watch fobs will thump their chest and say what a brave charge it was. Devin, I've led a soldier's life, and I've never seen anything as brutally clear as this. - Buford

141. Armistead is mortally wounded.] Would like... to see General Hancock. Can you tell me... where General Hancock may be found? - Brigadier General Lewis A. Armistead

I'm sorry, sir. The general's down, he's been hit. - Lieutenant Thomas D. Chamberlain

No! Not both of us! Not all of us! Please, God! - Brigadier General Lewis A. Armistead

142. [Actual quote, after Pickett's Charge fails] General, you must look to your division. - General Robert E. Lee

General Lee... I have no division. - Major General George E. Pickett

143. This is a different kind of army. If you look at history you'll see men fight for pay, or women, or some other kind of loot. They fight for land, or because a king makes them, or just because they like killing. But we're here for something new. This hasn't happened much in the history of the world. We are an army out to set other men free. America should be free ground, from here to the Pacific Ocean. No man has to bow, no man born to royalty. Here we judge you by what you do, not by who your father was. Here you can be something. Here you can build a home. But it's not the land. There's always more land. It's the idea that we all have value, you and me. What we're fighting for, in the end, is each other. Sorry. Didn't mean to preach. - Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain

144. When life gives you crap, make crapade. - Anon

145. The big print giveth, and the small print taketh away. - Tom Waits

146. Pro is to progress as con is to Congress. - Anon

147. Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. - Anon

148. It's always darkest right before it turns pitch black. - Anon

149. My karma ran over my dogma. - Anon

150. Better living through... better living. - Anon

151. The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. - Thomas Jefferson

152. These people are the salt of the earth, sons of the soil - you know, morons." - Anon

153. Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge. - Darwin

154. I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have. - Leonardo da Vinci

155. If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. - Anon

156. I ate a cheesecake, I took a nap...what more can one man do? - Jay Sherman

157. Outside of a dog a book is Man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Anon

158. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. - Anon

159. Nothing so dates a man as to decry the younger generation. - Adlai Stevenson

160. Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking - H.L. Mencken

161. All is flux - Some ancient Greek guy I forgot the name of

162. "It's not a crack house, it's a crack home."

163. "I'm like a chocoholic, but for booze."

164. What do you want me to do John? I'll do it. You want me to let you walk out of here and see how far you get? - Paul Edgecomb
Now why would you want to do a foolish thing like that? - John Coffey
When I die and I stand before God awaiting judgment and he asks me why I let one of HIS miracles die, what am I gonna say, that it was my job? - Paul
You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we's coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand? - John
Yes, John. I think I can. - Paul

165. [Edgecomb gives Coffey some cornbread] My wife made it to thank you. - Paul
For what, boss? - John
[points to his groin] You know. - Paul
Oh, was she pleased? - John
Yeah. Several times. - Paul

166. [Talking to his psychiatrist about going to his high school reunion.] They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?" - Martin Blank

167. [Practicing in a mirror before his high school reunion] Hi. I'm, uh, I'm a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I -- and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings. Yeah, you look great! God, yeah! Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm Martin Blanke, you remember me? I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough. - Martin

168. I'm a professional killer. - Martin
Do you have to do post-graduate work for that? - David

169. So, what have you been doing with your life? - Debi Newberry
Professional Killer. - Martin
Oh...you get dental with that? - Debi

170. What have you been doing with yourself? - Mr. Newberry
Uh, professional killer. - Martin
Good for you. Growth industry. - Mr. Newberry

171. What do you do? - Amy
I work at Kentucky Fried Chicken. I sell biscuits and gravy all over the Southlands. - Martin

173. A thousand innocent people get killed every day! But a millionaire's pet gets detonated, and you're marked for life. - Martin

175. Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to. - Phil Connors

176. Men see the past when they peer into the future. - A.J.P Taylor

177. The departure gravity of the doctor's office is so much less than its arrival. - Gorgon

178. It is very hard to remember that events now long in the past were once in the future. - Maitland

179. Duct tape heals all wounds - Becky Evers?

180. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. - Mike Callahan

181. It's not that I'm lazy. I just don't care. It's a problem of motivation. - some guy in Office Space

182. To avoid criticism; do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

183. Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m a schizophrenic,
And so am I. - Billy Connolly

184. Every election, Mickey Mouse looks better and better as President. - Duncan Long

185. A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. - Thomas Carruthers

186. Sex is the most natural, most beautiful, most wonderful thing that money can buy. - Steve Martin

187. I think I'll go and change. - Yoko

Oh good. I'll come and watch. - John

188. Those of you in the cheaper seats can clap your hands. The rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelery. - John at Royal Variety Performance, Nov. 15, 1963

189. Touring was murder. We hardly saw any of America because we had to stay inside hotel room all the time. And we were always dead beat.- Ringo

190. The truth is, I'm not a car addict. I feel embarrassed having to go into a garage and then pointing vaguely at the car and saying er, I think it's the er, you know, er, that's gone wrong. - Paul

191. There is one thing I used to regret and feel guilty about. When Ringo joined us I used to act all big time with him because I'd been in the business a bit longer and felt superior. I was a know-all. I'd been in the sixth form and thought I'd read a bit, you know. I began putting him off me, and me off me. - Paul

192. Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more, wouldn't you? - John

193. We had to buy a house in the country. We lived in town when Zak was a baby but we were always terrified the some fan might pinch him out of his pram to stick in her Beatles album. - Ringo

194. I used to wish that I could write songs like the others - and I've tried, but I just can't. I can get the words all right, but whenever I think of a tune and sing it to the others they always say 'Yeah, it sounds like such-a-thing', and when they point it out I see what they mean. - Ringo

195. Do you remember when everyone began analysing Beatles songs - I don't think I understood what some of them were supposed to be about. - Ringo

196. Everybody thinks Paul wrote it, but John wrote it for me. He's got a lot of soul has John, you know - Ringo on "Good Night"

197. I often sit at the piano, working at songs, with the telly on low in the background. If I'm a bit low and not getting much done then the words on the telly come through. That's when I heard "Good Morning Good Morning"...it was a Corn Flakes advertisement. - John

198. John has this old poster that says right at the top, 'Pablo Fanques Fair presents the Hendersons For the Benefit of Mr Kite' and it has all the bits that sound strange; 'The Hendersons' - you couldn't make that up." - Paul on "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite"

199. We always got screams up in Scotland, right from the beginning. I suppose they haven't got much else to do up there. - John

200. At Woolton village fete I met him. I was a fat schoolboy and, as he leaned an arm on my shoulder, I realised that he was drunk. We were twelve then, but, in spite of his sideboards, we went on to become teenage pals. - Paul on meeting John

201. This one is amazing. People came up and said cunningly 'Right, I get it, LSD' and it was when papers were talking about LSD, but we never thought about. What happened was that John's son Julian did a drawing at school and brought it home, and he has a schoolmate called Lucy, and John said 'What's that?' and he said 'Lucy in the sky with diamonds.'" - Paul

202. I never signed a contract with the Beatles. I had given my word about what I intended to do, and that was enough. I abided by the terms and no one ever worried about me not signing it. - Brian Epstein

203. That's what we want to get back to - simplicity. You can't have anything simpler, yet more meaningful than 'love, love me - do.' That's just what it means. I think I slagged off school to write that one with John when we first started." - Paul

204. I woke up one morning and went to the piano. And I just, you know, started playing it. And this tune came. Because that's what happens you know, they just come. But I couldn't think of any words for it so originally I called it 'Scrambled Eggs'. For a couple of mornings that was what it was called. Then I thought of 'Yesterday' and the words started to come and we had a song. - Paul

205. The trouble is that so much of the pop and record business is being run by people who don't have a clue what it is about. - Paul

206. Personally, I think you can put any interpertation you want on anything, but when someone suggests that Can't Buy Me Love is about a prostitute, I draw the line. That's going too far. - Paul

207. We made a mistake, the Maharishi is human. For a while we thought he wasn't. We believe in meditation but not the Maharishi and his scene. We're finished with that bit of it. - John

208. We're more popular than Jesus Christ now. I don't know which will go first. Rock and roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me. - John

209. The submediant switches from C Major into A flat Major and to a lesser extent mediant ones (e.g. I want to hold your hand) are the trademark of Lennon and McCartney songs." - The Times music critic

210. I think it was miss Daisy Hawkins orignially - but I wanted a name that was more real. The thought just came: 'Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice and lives in a dream.' She didn't make it with anyone, she didn't even look as if she was going to." - Paul

211. You know I'm not very good at singing because I haven't got a great range. So they write songs for me that are pretty low and not too hard - Ringo

212. We're going to send two acorns for peace to every world leader from John and Yoko. Perhaps if they plant them and watch them grow they may get the idea into their heads. - John

213. I was 62 the day they had the premiere of 'A Hard Day's Night' and we all went to the Dorchester. Then Paul handed me a big parcel - and I opened it and it was a picture of a horse. So I said 'Very nice' - but I thought what do I want with a picture of a horse? Then Paul must have seen my face because he said 'It's not just a picture dad. I've bought you the bloody horse.'" - James McCartney

214. The thing is, we're all really the same person. We're just four parts of the one." - Paul

215. I didn't really feel I belonged until after the first two years, maybe two and a half. You know before it was them, the Beatles and me - the new drummer. It lasted long enough to bother me a bit, but not anymore. - Ringo

216. The copper came to the door, to tell us about the accident. It was just like it's supposed to be, the way it is in the films. Asking if I was her son, and all that. Then he told us, and we both went white. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. - John

217. There's still nothing I like more than to get on a Crosville bus in Liverpool and to go out for the day somewhere into Cheshire. - Paul

218. It became very difficult for me to write with Yoko sitting there. I might want to say something like 'I love you girl' but with Yoko watching I always felt I had to come out with something clever and avant garde. She would probably have loved the simple stuff, but I was scared. - Paul

219. I can't forgive Paul and George for the way they treated Yoko at first, but I can't help loving them either. - John

220. The nicest thing is to open then newspapers and not find yourself in them. - George

221. We all have Hitler in us, but we also have love and peace. So why not give peace a chance for once? - John

222. In the old days we used to write and write all the time, but nowadays I only do it if I'm particularly inspired. - John

223. When I was about twelve I used to think I must be a genius, but nobody's noticed. If there is such a thing as genius I am one, and if there isn't I don't care. - John

224. You can't blame John for falling in love with Yoko any more than you can blame me for falling in love with Linda. At the beginning I was annoyed with him, jealous because of Yoko, and afraid about the break-up of a great musical partnership. It took me a year to realise they were in love. - Paul

225. We had a ward band in hospital. There were four kids on cymbals and two on triangles. I would never play unless I had a drum. - Ringo, talking about the year he spent in hospital as a child of seven

226. Rock and roll is the music that inspired me to play music. There is nothing conceptually better than rock and roll. No group, be it the Beatles, Dylan, or the Stones have ever improved on 'Whole lot of Shaking' for my money. Or maybe I'm like our parents: that's my period and I'll dig it and never leave it. - John

227. Normally I'm very quiet. I've always been delicate. I'm not a tough guy. I've had a facade of being tough to protect myself from whatever was going on. But really I'm very sensitive and weak. - John

228. During Beatlemania Mal Evans and Neil Aspinall used to sign our autographs for us. It was Neil who signed the pictures that were sent to Prince Charles. - John

229. All we want to be are four rock and rollers, but we aren't allowed because of Apple. We have to become businessmen. - Ringo

230. In the early days I wrote less material than Paul because he was more competent on guitar then I. He taught me quite a lot of guitar really. - John

231. I'd like to be rich and famous and invisible - to be able to get all the credit and all the fun, but so that when we went outside no one would know us. - John

232. A poached egg in the Underground on the Bakerloo line between Trafalgar Square and Charing Cross? Yes, Paul. A sock full of elephant's dung on Otterspool Promenade? Give me ten minutes, Ringo. Two Turkish dwarfs dancing the Charleston on the sideboard. Male or female, John? Hair from Sonny Liston? It's early closing, George (gulp), but give me until noon tomorrow - Derek Taylor, a former Beatle aide and Press Officer, talking about the difficulties of working for them.

233. I wrote [I'm happy just to dance with you] for George to sing. I'm always reading how Paul and I used to make him invisible or keep him out, but it isn't true. I encouraged him like mad. - John

234. [Because] is about me and Yoko in the early days. Yoko was playing some Beethoven chords and I said play them backwards. Its really Moonlight Sonata backwards. - John

235. I didn't leave the Beatles. The Beatles have left the Beatles - but no one wants to be the one to say the party's over. - Paul

236. Sorry, my mind makes sense to me and not always others so just let me know when you need a map and I will try to draw you one. - moowazz

237. God bless those pagans - Homer Simpson

238. It is never too late to be what you might have been. - George Eliot

239. People have complained that baseball players are overpaid ever since Babe Ruth started getting paid more than the President of the United States. (Ruth's response, "Well, I had a better season than him.") - Some sports reporter

240. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein

241. If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein

242. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. - Thomas Jones

243. I'll be right here. - E.T.

244. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi

245. Although sounds are but vibrations of the air that effect the ear, see how they affect the heart. - Abdul Baha

246. We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like. - Jean Cocteau.

247. "Writing is simple. You just stare at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." - BlackCow00

248. The corporate revolution will collapse if we refuse to buy what they are selling - their ideas, their version of history, their wars, their weapons, their notion of inevitability. Remember this: We be many and they be few. They need us more than we need them. Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing. - Arundhati Roy, Porto Alegre, Brazil, 1/27/03

249. Fantasies are a nessary part of my reality. - Jaki5682

250. When life hands you lemons, Shut the fuck up. – BlackCow00

251. A woman's test is material. A man's test is a woman...if a man could fuck in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house. - Rabbi Dave Chappelle

252. How do we keep what happens to us? How do we fit it into life without turning it into an anecdote, with no teeth, and a punch line you'll mouth over and over... And we become these human jukeboxes, spilling out these anecdotes. But it was an experience. How do we keep the experience? - Ouisa Kittredge (Stockard Channing), Six Degrees of Separation

253. "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, it's probably in Tennessee --that says, fool me once, shame on ... shame on you. Fool me ... You can't get fooled again." - quoted by the Baltimore Sun - Oct 6, 2002

254. "And so, in my State of the -- my State of the Union -- or state -- my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation -- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years --4,000 hours over the next -- the rest of your life -- of service to America." - April 9th, 2002. Reported by the San Francisco Gate (among others)

255. "I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region." - March 13th, 2000, Washington, D.C

256. "When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive." - September 19th, 2001 (not dumbness, but definitely hilarity)

257. "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe—I believe what I believe is right." - Rome, July 22, 2001

258. "Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I--it's--I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values." — Visiting the Jefferson Memorial, Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001

259. "I had no idea we had so many weapons, ...what do we need them for?" — stunned when told the extent of the U.S. nuclear arsenal, Newsweek, June 25, 2001

260. "There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." - Washington, D.C., May 11, 2001

261. "It's a school full of so-called at-risk children. It's how we, unfortunately, label certain children. It means basically they can't learn. ... It's one of the best schools in Houston." — speaking about KIPP Academy in Houston, Texas.

262. "Whatever it took to help Taiwan defend theirself." — On how far we'd be willing to go to defend Taiwan, Good Morning America, April 25, 2001

263. "First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country." — on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001

264. "I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically." — he meant to say "misunderestimated"

265. "They misunderestimated me." — Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

266. "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." - Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

267. "The great thing about America is everybody should vote." - Austin, Texas, Dec. 8, 2000

268. "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." - Reuters, May 5, 2000

269. "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" - Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

270. "I understand small business growth. I was one." - New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

271. "The senator [McCain] has got to understand if he's going to have—he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road." — To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000

272. "They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program." — Debate in St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000

273. "It's your money. You paid for it." — LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

274. "Hobbyists", they are people that participate in hobbies, right? So, one might ask, "What are people who run in races??" Well, they're just motherfucking racists... - BlackCow00

275. The partisan, when he is engaged in a dispute, cares nothing about the the rights of the question, but is anxious only to convince his heareres of his own assertions. - Plato

276. Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. - Frank Zappa

277. "If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down the sidewalk with him, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable. - Mitch Hedburg

278. The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears it is true. - ?

279. It's a total bummer when you love something and go up to the person who's working on it, and you say, "God! This is so great! I love this so much!" And they're like, "Eh. Thanks, but it's no big deal." When someone comes up and tells me that they love the music, I yell, "Me, too!" And we just hug. - Andrew W.K.

280. just cause it's brown does NOT make it Chocolatey. - BlackCow00 on the food at Nelson

281. Have you ever wanted to be with someone so badly, but you can't? [Pause]
I've seen how you look at Professor Grey. - Bobby (Iceman)
And what about it? - Logan (Wolverine)
Nothing. - Bobby

282. Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain (I've seen at least one syntactical variation of this one, so this might not be the actual quote, but it's message is the same)

283. Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

284. (paraphrase) The human is the animal that laughs at itself. - Robert A. Heinlein in Stranger in a Strange Land

285. According to my Thermo book, the amount of energy my brain has given off in the last few hours of homework should be enough to heat up the brain fluid to a superheated vapor, causing my skull to reach critical pressure, and therefore I shall soon explode! - Robb Kulin

286. Carpe Viam (seize the road) - Alex Perry

287. Prayer: the last refuge of a scoundrel. - Lisa Simpson (quoting another?)

288. I'm eating a delicious home-made meal. And although it may be the same thing I have every night, it's way better than the poop you eat. However, that does explain your poop breath. - Katesfellow on cafeteria food

289. When all is said and done, Americans are less interested in ruling the world than they are in creating a world of rules. - G. John Ikenberry on American imperialism

299. It has always annoyed me to hear from the mouths of certain arbiters of blackness that middle-class blacks should "reach back" and pull up those blacks less fortunate than they - as though middle-class status was an unearned and essentially passive condition in which one needed a large measure of noblesse oblige to occupy one's time. My own image is of reaching back from a moving train to lift on board those who have no tickets. A noble enough sentiment - but might it not be wiser to show them the entire structure of principles, effort, and sacrifice that puts one in a position to buy a ticket anytime one likes? This, I think, is something members of the black middle-class can realistically offer to other blacks. Their example is not only a testament to possibility but also a lesson in method. But they cannot lead by example until they are released from a black identity that regards that example as suspect, that sees them as "marginally" black; indeed that holds them back by catching them in a double bind. - Shelby Steele, The Content of Our Character

300. First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Communists and I did not speak out - because I was not a Communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me. - Martin Niemoller

301. I did Habitat [for Humanity] this afternoon with a kid from Regis high in Denver. The last time I did Habitat my middle finger suffered a bit. We only painted today, so the current level of road rage will not abate in the Nati with 2, count em, 2 working middle fingers. - Pat (my brother)

302. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. - Television host Dennis Wholey, quoted in The Vancouver Sun

303. Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions, it only guarantees equality of opportunity. - author Irving Kristol, quoted in the Associated Press

304. I am an alcoholic. But only on Tuesdays. - Erik

305. Business was originated to produce happiness, not to pile up millions. Are we in danger of forgetting this? What profiteth it a man to gain uncounted riches if he thereby sacrifices his better self, his nobler qualities of manhood? Mere getting is not living. The man who depends upon his bank account to insure him a happy life reaps disappointment. To the businessman, success heretofore too often has been merely to become rich. That is not a high standard. It is a standard, happily, that is passing - B. C. Forbes (Sept 15, 1917)

306. "To my mind this is fatuousness. Wishful thinking. Others, barbarians primarily, say that when we die we pass on to paradise. I ask them all: if you realy believe this, why not make away with yourself at once and speed the trip?" - Spartan platoon leader Dienekes, shortly before the battle of Thermoplyae, on those who seek to overcome fear of death by preaching that the soul does not expire with the body [from Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield]

307. They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you hear satanic messages. Thats nothing, cause if you play it forwards, it installs Windows. - Some guy on some forum who got it from some other guy on some other forum

308. I shall not call you a racist but just advise you to not travel the world lest you be offended. - SparkyJones23 (evil perv)

309. Check out my mom's emoting skills.
Here's to a good 2005 -----
Love,
Mom <:) (That's me with a New Year's Eve party hat on)

310. Go my local sports team and/or college. - Random forum sig

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