"Why? Why'd she do it, Mike? Just leave like that?"
Rafe fired off one question after another at her, probably thinking she'd have all the answers being a woman and all. He stared at her waiting for an answer, a camel hanging from the fingers of his right hand and a beer clutched in the other. The tenth beer if she had counted right.
"I don't know, Rafe. Maybe Evelyn just got scared. A baby and a husband is a big responsibility and all."
She cringed at making excuses for the woman -- the woman that had turned both Rafe and Danny inside out and handed them their hearts on a platter.
"No. No, see, I think it's that I'm not Danny. She tried to pretend I was, but I'm not." His words slurring as he continued. "I loved Danny like a brother, you know that. But I can't be him. Hell, I even tried for awhile. Did it just for her." Rafe laughed, a hollow and haunted sound.
"Jesus Christ Rafe!" She nearly screamed the words at him. She ached just hearing that confession from him. Slamming the glass she was presently drying down on the bar, sure it would shatter under the abuse, she pinned him with a angry and hurt glare.
"Don't you ever do that! You are to damn good for that."
Your're loved for you!, she wanted to add, but didn't. Rafe would only laugh it off as a joke, one of her practical jokes. That would hurt far worse than living with the feelings she had hidden from him since she was sixteen.
"Yeah, if you say so little sister."
Another laugh that twisted her gut hit her head long. She had come to hate when he called her that, little sister. It only reinforced the fact that he never saw her, never really knew what made her tick -- which was him. Everything about him was what kept her near Pearl Harbor, what kept her there to witness his spiral into his recent pit of misery.
"Come on, closing time." She reached towards him, plucking the half empty glass from his hand.
"I'm not finished with that! Girl, I'll turn you over my knee if you don't give it back." He growled, with the hint of a smile turning up the corners of his lips.
If only you would! Maybe, we'd both feel bette, she thought and then felt the slight heat rise to her cheeks for the thought. "You're not going to do that, Rafe. You'd never lay a hand on me." She smiled, trying to cover her embarrassment.
"There's a first time for everything, Katherine Mika. And this just might be it," he said, attempting to stand from the bar stool. His hand shot out a second before he would have pitched posterior first into a nearby table. Mika was around the bar in a flash and at his side. She smiled up at him as he draped his arm over her shoulder.
"You're staying at my place tonight. You'll never make it back to the base and beside tomorrow we're picking up your son from the hospital."
"I don't know about that, Mike. Maybe, I should just sign the papers and let them find him a good home. I'm not exactly father material," he said, appearing to be turning a unflattering shade of green.
"Hey, you. You'll make a great dad. We'll get through this just like everything else, together," she preached as she maneuvered him to the front door. Turning and looking over her shoulder she blew a parting kiss to the small picture behind the bar. Night Danny. Sleep tight, Fly Boy. The same words she had said for more nights than she could count. The trio and been so close that it was like they was a part of each other. Loosing one was like loosing a leg, an arm, like loosing a heart. Rafe's head pivoted back on his shoulders and with her free hand she had to slap his cheek viciously to keep him from dragging both of them to the floor.
"You got a plan, little sister?" he spontaneously asked, cutting his blurry eyes to her sweetly innocent face.
"Three Musketeers always do, right Aramis?" she giggled, referring to another of their childhood games. Her arms wound around his waist helping him to navigate the set of steps, to help her navigate her pounding heart. God help her, but she loved this man beyond reason. And for the thousandth time she wondered how it was that love could hurt so desperately bad.
BY:Loria
"Rise and shine, Farm Boy," she teased, reaching over to smooth a stray lock of hair from his forhead. The silky darkness, as always, captivated her.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm awake," Rafe growled, opening his sparkling eyes and pinning her with bemused stare. "You get up any ealier and it'll be last night."
She shook her head and smiled, knowing it was just like Rafe to tease her about something as small as this. "Well, I was thinking we should get an early start. The sooner we get Daniel home and out of the hospital the better."
"You know what I think?" he asked, digging into the food she slid across his lap as he pushed himself upright in the bed.
"What?"
"I think you're right." He shoved another mouthful of eggs into his mouth.
"Good. I was thinking, too, that Daniel will need a nurse. I still have the bar and babies can't take care of themselves. Maybe we should........." She looked away, afraid he would think she didn't want to care for his son, for Danny's son.
"Then we should find one in the next couple of days," he continued, barely looking up from the last bites of his breakfast.
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking." She took the tray as he pushed it away and threw back the sheet.
"RAFE!" she gasped as he padded across the floor to the door in nothing more than his stark white boxers. Her eyes were quickly averted, blushing a deepening shade of red.
"Oh, come on Mike. You've seen me in a hell of a lot less than this," he called over his shoulder.
"Yeah. I was 12 and you were 14." She sighed, cutting her eyes to him for the briefest second. "But I'm not a kid anymore, Rafe. I'm a grown woman."
He seemed to consider her words for a moment, stopping in the middle of the floor and turning to look at her. "And one fine woman you turned into, little sister." With a smile that would melt the polar caps, he continued on to the bathroom.
"Sometimes, Farm Boy, I just want to ring you neck," she whispered as she watched the white cotton mold to his retreating lower half.
******
Mike slowly stacked the dirty dishes in the sink and listened to the shower run in the other room. It was hell being this close to Rafe, but it was even worse being away from him when he was flying. She had the sudden urge to do some key hole spying on him. She reasoned it was nothing less than he deserved for teasing her the way he did with every chance he got. She looked up from the sink and whipped out of her own thoughts at a knock at the door. Hurrying through the open rooms of the bungalo she pulled the door open. With a welcoming smile, like every other time she opened her door, she answered the knock. The smiled died on her face before her heart took another beat.
"Danny?" she gasped, stumbling backwards, her hand firmly over her mouth to curtail the sob that threatened to break loose. Unaware of anything around her, she slammed into the table near the door, sending it and the vase of flowers it supported crashing to the floor. There he stood, hat in hand, as if he hadn't missed one morning at her door over the last six month,. Shock. It was pure and simple shock.
"Mike, I .......I ....You....." The speech he had prepared for this moment fled his mind seeing her face -- seeing the relief, the concern, the questions. He stepped through the door as she dropped to her knees and began picking up broken glass with trembling fingers, afraid to look at him. Afraid he'd disappear. Before she realized it he was beside her trying to help repair the damage. Straightening, tears glided down her cheeks as she launched herself into his arms. "Oh God, Danny! I thought you.....I missed you so much!" she hiccuped between sobs.
"I missed you too, Kat!" Tears had thickened his voice too.
Both turned as the bathroom door was jerked open and Rafe stepped out, with a towel wrapped around his middle and dripping wet."What ........" His voice died instantly, eyes growing bright with the same shock as Mika's.
Mika couldn't take her eyes of him and began trembling for a holy different reason.
BY:Loria
"Excuse me?" the officer on her left asked, looking up from her magazine.
Marisa cleared her throat and immediately reverted back to her perfect enunciation. "Oh, nothing. I just didn't realize that there would be so much to rebuild."
The woman giggled and folded her magazine. "You should have been here when all this was being done." She smoothed her hair and sighed. "It was a nightmare." She noticed the slight apprehension in Marisa's eyes and placed a comforting hand on her arm.
"Don't worry, Lieutenant. It's going to be fine!" The woman smiled and Marisa felt her nerves calming. "Just think ... you'll be a part of the rebuilding. It's an exciting concept." She winked as the bus stopped to allow departure. "Besides ... sailors and beaches. What else could a gal ask for?"
Marisa smiled. "Lead on, McDuff!"
*********
After dropping her bags off in her assigned bungalow, Marisa reported for her duties as head nurse at the military hospital. She was just getting her bearings when a young nurse entered the small office with a nervous smile.
"Lieutenant, how are you with babies?"
Looking up from the papers she was reviewing, Marisa gave a slight shrug. "I used to baby-sit my cousins back in New Orleans." She gave a smile and glanced at the girl's name tag. "They survived with very little trauma. Why do you ask, Collins?"
With a sigh, Betty Collins opened the door wide and another girl entered with an obviously unhappy newborn. Blotched and red from the act of screaming, the infant sounded as if it had the lung capacity of an opera singer. In a heartbeat Marisa was up and gathering the bundle in her arms.
"Hello, angel!" she cooed, bouncing the baby gently.
"His name is Daniel," the new girl supplied. Marisa's smile broadened as she moved to follow the women into the make shift nursery.
"Why, hello Daniel. You're a strong little guy, aren't you?" The melodic sound of her voice was like music soothing the fragile nerves of the boy. As she looked up, she couldn't help but notice the look of awe on the faces of the other ladies.
"He just wanted some attention ... that's all." She looked back down at the angelic face that now smiled at her, gurgling his approval. "Oh, are you flirting with me, now?" She grinned and sat in the old rocking chair that was obviously confiscated from someone's home. She nodded to the women. "It's all right. I'll take care of him. You two just continue your rounds."
A double sigh of relief sounded from the women. "Thank you, Leuitenant."
As they left, Marisa kissed the downy top of the child's head.
"Ah, mon enfant," she whispered, her Cajun accent thick. "How you get in into dat tiny lil' mind 'xactly how to make ole' Marisa feel at home?" She rocked the child gently, seeing the tiny, heavy lids fall. "Sleep, mon petit. Marisa take good care o' you." She smiled, feeling the twinges of sadness that inevitably came. A baby...one thing she wanted....one thing she would most likely never have. She sighed and pushed away any negative thoughts, determined to enjoy the precious moment she had been handed.
BY:Teresa
"Danny?" he said, the word catching slightly in his throat.
"It's me, buddy. Danny Boy's home."
Mike saw the confusion in Rafe's eyes and swiped the tears from her own. Her boys. Her two boys were here, right in front of her. And then she saw the subtle change in Rafe's eyes.
The two men crossed the gap and pulled each other in a fierce embrace. Words came flowing that were uninteligable. When they pulled apart, Rafe smiled ... and then rared his fist back, landing a punch squarely on the other man's jaw. Danny flew across the floor and landed on the couch, rubbing his aching cheek.
"Months!" Rafe bellowed. "Months, you son-of-a-bitch!" He moved closer to the couch and Mike ran to come between the men. She planted her hands on Rafe's bare, wet chest as he continued to scream. "Do you have any idea how many people have been worried sick? Mourned? Almost ceased to live when you died? Do you? And you come strolling in here like nothing?"
"Rafe, don't!" Mike pleaded. "Listen to him. Let him talk."
Danny stood, dabbing at the dops of blood on the side of his lip. "You need to understand, Rafe." He looked at Mike as well. "You both need to understand."
Mike gently pushed rafe toward the guest room. "Go get dressed, sweetie. Calm down ... and listen."
Rafe sniffed trying to control the tremble in his bottom lip. He glared at Danny, and then turned to storm in to the room and slam the door. Danny looked imploringly at Mike.
"Give him time, honey. Give him time." And then she hugged him tightly. He was really home.
BY:Teresa
"That went well," he sighed, allowing her to guide him to a chair.
"Oh, Danny. You don't know the half of it. Six months is along time. Things have changed and not all for the better," she tried to explain, running cold tap water over a clean dish towel.
"Well, I can see one thing hasn't changed." He pinned her with a knowing stare. "You're never gonna tell him are you?"
"Just stop it, Danny! It's not the time. It may never be!" she shouted, her nervers raw and abused. "This is just so like you! Worry about yourself now! Trust me, that's the very best you can do."
He watched her cross the kitchen with the towel to nurse his wound. Her words totally failing him. "Is it because of Evelyn?"
"What?" She looked up from the slit in his lip. His meaning hitting home in that second.
"No........Yes...... You don't understand!" She clamped her lips closed as Rafe strode through the kitchen doorway. His eyes looking like an imminent thunderstorm. "Understand what?"
"Nothing," she cut off any response by Danny with her clipped tone. "But there are a few things that need saying now." She cut her eyes from Rafe to Danny.
"You see, Danny. There was something that Evelyn made me promise not to tell you," Rafe began, easing into the nearest chair. He didn't mix words, laying it all on the line. The whole sordid story unfolded between the three, opening only recently healed wounds, drawing fresh blood for those that were so new they were afforded no relief.
Tears flowed down Danny's cheeks. Partly for what he gained, partly for what he'd lost, most certainly for the pain he had cause the two people that would be there no matter what came at him.
*******
Mike pulled her blue plymouth into the hospital parking lot. She turned in her seat and looked from one to the other of the men. "I want you to both know that I'm in for the long haul. I mean, anything the kid needs, anything I can do........ Well, you know I'm here."
"I'd never doubt that, Kat." Danny leaned forward from the back seat and planted a light kiss on her cheek.
Her gaze turned back to Rafe as Danny planted his foot on the door frame and lept to the ground from the back seat. There were definate signs of defeat in his eyes. She was worried about him, worried that this was the last blow he'd take without exploding at the nearest helpless object. Not that Rafe would hurt anyone but he certainly would reek havoc if he thought it was in order.
"Come on, Rafe. That little boy needs a home." She gave him a sad smile, allowing him to see that she fully understood the roll and pitch of emotions claiming his mind.
"What's the point of me going? He's Danny's problem now, not mine" he practically snarled.
With a tired sigh she simply stared at him for a few moments, catching the sight of Danny shuffling his feet a few car lengths ahead. "You really are an idiot sometimes, Farm Boy. The point is, WE need you. We're the only family that baby has. Like it or not your a part of it." Her voice was deadly calm, and that was Rafe's first warning that like him she'd had just about enough. "I suggest you get out of this car and carry yourself into that hospital and be the man I know you are."
She was rewards with a long glare that would carve a glacier down to an ice cube. "When did you become so mouthy?" he growled unfurling his long legs from the car and them slamming the door behind him with a childish viciousness.
"When I had to start keeping two overgrown children in line," she hissed as they drew even with Danny who pretended he hadn't heard the remark, not even wanting to know what they were talking about.
Mike was relieved to see that by the time they reached the second floor nursey that Rafe seemed slightly more relaxed. Danny, on the other hand, looked like he was being marched before a firing squad. But in the next several minutes both men turned into smiling cooing clowns. The nurse that held the dark downy haired infant quickly handed him over to Rafe, and to Rafe's credit he handed the squirming bundle to Danny. But he kept a hand on the baby's head all the while his father held him, the contact seeming to sooth the hurt with losing that title. It was then that she glanced up at the nurse and noticed the bright shine in her eyes as she watched the men with Daniel. Moving across to the woman, she introduced herself. Marisa was her name and she relayed all the important points of the baby's schedule to Mike. The details given, she asked Marisa about the possiblity of hiring a nurse from the hospital. In that moment fate swept through the room and the dye was cast.
BY:Loria
"Hey, don't you know the perks of being in charge? No graveyard duty!"
Marisa smiled. "I like the evening shift. It's quiet. Besides, I just made a deal with the family of the Walker baby." She smiled brightly. "I'm going to be his nanny."
Betty shook her head as she began the pharmaceutical inventory. "You must be a glutton for punishment. Nanny by day, nurse by night? Better you than me!"
Marisa grinned. "He's such a little angel. How could I refuse?"
"You open your mouth and say 'no thank you'." Betty grinned. "It's not that difficult."
Marisa sighed. "Well, I didn't want to say no." She moved toward the office. "Listen, you take over for the day? I need to go and get packed."
Betty nodded. "Sure thing. See you tonight."
Marisa waved. "See you then."
BY:Teresa
"I thought you'd never get here," she said as she pulled Marisa into the cozy bungalow and took her bag and deposited it on the floor beside a closed door.
"I had to finish the duty roster before I left. How's Daniel?" Marisa scanned the room looking for traces of the baby.
Mike sat in a large, comfortable chair and tucked her feet beneath her, motioning for the other woman to sit in the chair directly across from her.
"Oh, he's asleep now. I never knew how intense caring for a tiny little baby could be." She smiled sweetly. "Make yourself comfortable. I set you up in the guest room along with the crib for the baby. I thought it would be more convenient?"
Marisa nodded. "Perfect." She looked around again. "You have a lovely place." She settled back and smiled. "I guess this would be the time to discuss what you expect of me."
Mike laughed. "Honey, I can honestly say......I have NO idea." She chuckled. "I'm pretty new at this. I do know that you said your schedule can be somewhat flexible? Since I run a bar and most of the patronage is at night, I need to have someone here during the day. Will that be a problem?"
Marisa smiled, thinking of the conversation she had with Betty earlier. Maybe it DID pay to be in charge!
"No," she said emphatically. "No problem at all! I'll arrange my schedule to accommodate yours immediately. I assume you need me tonight?"
Mike looked hopeful. "If that's okay?"
Marisa grinned. "Of course! I just have to make a phone call."
"Great!" Mike said enthusiastically. "The phone is right there and I'll make us some tea."
"Sounds good," Marisa said as she picked up the phone. Something told her that this was going to be a wonderful arrangement.
BY:Teresa
Evelyn who was in the kitchen washing the dishes, completely forgot that it was 1:00pm; time for Colleen's pills.
"Oh my gosh! I totally forgot!," she thought to herself.
Evelyn went to the kitchen cabinet to get Mrs.
Hanover's pills; and although Evelyn should have been concentrating at the task at hand, she couldn't help but let her mind wander back to how she ended up in Memphis, Tennessee as a private nurse.
After learning from Rafe that Danny was dead, she just couldn't bare it. She thought she'd be able to handle it, afterall Rafe was there to support her and her baby. Yet, the loss of Danny and Betty, one of her dearest friends, was the straw that broke the camel's back. She just couldn't stay in Pearl Harbor, after having so many awful memories from that place.
Evelyn immediately shook these thoughts from her head.
It was the right thing for her to have done. To leave Pearl Harbor was good for everyone. She knew that when she had the baby, Rafe would look after it.
When she resigned as head nurse of Pearl Harbor, her Uncle Ron in Memphis was able to recommend her to someone as a private nurse. That's how she ended up in Memphis with a nice lady to look after.
Evelyn was at first nervous about being a private nurse. After all, most of her patients had been army officers. But all her fears were put to rest as soon as she met Colleen Hanover, who immediately insisted that she call her Colleen. Evelyn smiled at the thought.
"Evelyn! I really need those pills dear!" Evelyn's thoughts were suddenly interupted by Mrs. Hanover calling for her.
"God! I still can't believe I haven't given her those pills!"
And with that, Evelyn rushed up the stairs, pills and a glass of water in hand, forgetting all that she had been dwelling upon for the last few minutes.
"I'll be right there Mrs. Hanover"
BY:Lili
She climbed down the steps of the plane and was met by another young Lt.
He was holding a suitcase and looked down at the tag.
"Juliana Alden?" he asked her.
"Thats me." she answered with a smile, holding out her hand.
"James Peterson," he said, taking her hand in his. "Nice to meet you."
"Likewise." she replied.
"I'm supposed to take you over to the hospital for orientation. Things are still a mess over there, they can use a lot of help."
"I can only imagine. Were you on a ship?" she asked him.
"Yeah, Im on the Maryland."
"I am still in shock about the whole thing." she said.
"Me too."
The short drive from the airport to the hospital was spent talking small talk. They seemed to really hit it off. James pulled up in front of the hospital and got out to open Juliana's door.
"I'll help with your bags. I have a couple good friends I want to stop and see. Some arent doing too well." he said.
"Thanks so much for picking me up and bringing me here. Im so nervous about it. I really want to fly, but women arent allowed, so I chose the closest thing I could find."
A woman then walked out of the hospital and greeted them.
"Are you a new recruit?" asked the woman.
"Yes, Ma'am. Juliana Alden, reporting for duty."
"Follow me." was all she said and she turned around and walked back towards the building.
"Thanks again so much. I really hope your friends are okay soon." she told James.
"Me too, me too," said James, "good luck on your first day."
"Thank you. I'll see you around?" she replied.
"I hope so." said James, smiling. He turned around and walked back towards his car. While getting in, he took one more glance towards the hospital in time to see Juliana walk in.
Inside the hospital...
Juliana glanced outside and watched James car pull away. She looked back down the corridor and said to herself "I can do this." She walked down to the room where orientation was beginning.....
BY:Kerry
"So, neither Danny or Rafe are blood relation?" Marisa asked, trying not to sound overly curious.
"No. None at all," she smiled, blushing slightly.
"Well, count yourself lucky you were able to choose your family." Marisa smiled reassuringly.
***********
Rafe waited just outside the CO's office glancing nervously from time to time over his shoulder where Danny stood, clutching a folder in his hand. Danny had been inside the newly refurbished office for to damn long, Rafe huffed. He shifted, considerably more nervous as Danny stood from where he was seated, shook the CO's hand, a grave look masking his face.
"So?" Rafe shot at him as he stepped out of the office.
"Well......." Danny's eyes dropped to the toes of his shoe.
Rafe ran a agitated hand through his hair, turning to grab up his jacket.
"Shit, guess that 'bout rips it!" he growled.
"Not so fast there, bub. Looks like your not going be getting rid of me anytime soon," he proclaimed, a wide smile lighting his face.
"You son of a bitch!" Rafe shouted, enfolding him in a bear hug. "Worried the hell outta me. Do it again and I'll pound you into the runway."
************
Marisa hovered near, instructing Mike as she gave Daniel his first bath. There were special instructions about his cord, his soft spot, his neck, all of which Mike listened to carefully and filed away in her memory. She smiled at Marisa as his small pink lips formed a big O and his arms and legs moved in tiny jerky movements. But he remained quiet and watchful with his bright blue eyes. Just as she was about to rinse the soap from his thatch of downey light hair a loud knock came from across the bungalo at the front door. She looked to Marisa, who stepped closer.
"You go ahead and I'll finish up here," she nodded, slipping her hands under Mike's behind Daniel's head.
"Okay. I'll be right back." She sighed, hating to leave the baby.
Across the house she pulled the door open to be met with a uniformed man, not military -- that was obvious with one glance.
"Have a registered letter here, ma'am, for a ......" The man glanced down at the envelope on the clipboard he held. "For a Katherine Hanson."
"That's me." Her brows furrowed, wondering who would be sending her such a thing. Everyone she knew was on this Island. She signed her name as instructed and clutched the letter that was handed to her, a moment of trepidation running through her. Slowly she worked her finger along the seal baring the contents to her curious eyes, and immediatly she wished she hadn't bothered opening it at all. Better to simply throw it into the ocean.
Dear Katherine,
You don't know me I suppose but I was a dear friend of your mother's.
I'm so sorry to have to write you this letter but I find it is my duty
to a dear and loving woman. A week ago yesterday your mother passed. She
had been ill for a very long time..........
The letter ended with a unfamiliar signature and an address in Nashville. It glared back at her almost mockingly. Dear? Loving? When had her mother become that to anyone? She stood there for what seemed like an ion just staring at the words, tremors racking her body from the soles of her feet to the tip of her head. Why? Why write me? She was torn from her horrified stupor as Marisa came to her side with Daniel wrapped snuggly in a towel.
"Is everything ok?" the other woman asked, concern thick in her voice.
Mike nodded, suddenly realizing the cold bone rattling chill she felt. "I have to go out for awhile. Can you stay with Daniel?" she whispered, not daring to talk louder for fear of hearing the crack of her own voice.
"Yes, of course," Marisa agreed, seeing there was something obviously wrong, but keeping her thoughts to herself with a sympathetic smile.
Without a backwards glance Mike bolted from the bungalo, rushing down the steps and out right running across the lawn, across the drive to the beach beyond. Then it was safe for the tears to fall, alone and without having to feel weak. But she wasn't alone. She hadn't heard the tires crunching on the drive as she had run past or the two voices that she knew as well as her own calling after her.
BY:Loria
"I'm sorry," she said to the startled young lady, extending her hand. "I'm Lilly Doolittle," introducing herself.
Just then Martha stuck her head out of the nurses washroom a few feet away. "Lilly, thank God! Would you mind taking over orientation? I'm not feeling well." The woman suddenly ducked back inside the room with her hand delicately covering her mouth. Lilly turned back to the young woman and smiled.
"And who might you be?"
BY:Loria
"You see what's wrong with Mike. I'm going to make sure everything's okay with the baby!"
Rafe nodded. "Yeah ... good idea."
As Danny flew down the path to the lighted bungalow, Rafe moved slowly to ease down beside Mike, his elbows resting on his raised knees. He sat in silence for several minutes until it finally go tthe better of Mike.
"It's my mother," she breathed, sniffing slightly.
"Oh, shit," came the reply as a gentle arm snaked around her shoulders. "What now, kid?"
She thrust the paper she had clutched in her hand to him and he accepted it, reading the message. His eyes scanned it several times before letting out a low sigh.
"Well, isn't this just swell? Fucking bitch her whole life and now that she's dead she's up for sainthood?" He dropped the paper back into her lap and tightened his arm around her. "Mike, honey, it's over. It was over a long time ago. She has no hold on you ... no ties." He nuzzled her neck. "Just you and me and Danny -- the The Three Musketeers."
Her tears began to fall openly, her hand clutching at Rafe's lapel. "I know. I do know all that, Rafe. It's just that ... I mean ... well ..."
His chin rested on her head, his hands gently caressing her back and shoulder. "Just what, sweetie?"
Her voice cracked with emotion. "Why doesn't anyone want me?" she sobbed.
He ground his teeth, every fiber in his being hating the bitch that called herself Mike's mother.
"Don't think that, Mike. Don't you ever think that!" He lifted her chin forcing her eyes to look into his. "Do you think that I could get along without you to lean on? To depend on?" he smoothed her hair back and smiled. "You, me, Danny ... we're a family, honey. More of a family than any blood could ever make us." He leaned and kissed her cheek, resting his slightly stubbled one against her smooth, porcelin one. "We need you, baby. I need you."
And with that, her sobs grew louder as she held onto to her life line. Oh, Rafe, she mused inwardly. If you only knew!
BY:Teresa
BY:Kerry
"I could set an extra place for dinner tonight. That is, if you're not to busy for a home cooked meal." She smiled, eager for the company. Eager to show Jimmy that she was fine -- that he could stop his constant worrying about her. She hated how he thought she was as fragile as a egg. So, she couldn't have a baby. There were worse things after all, far worse things.
BY:Loria
BY:Kerry
BY:Loria
"I'll be there in just a few minutes," came the soft spoken reply. The young leuitenant gave a sight nod and closed the door as the older man dialed the last number.
"Hey, Patricia." His voice was charming as he spoke to the nurse on the phone. "Is my wife around, please? Thanks, hon."
After a few moments, the familiar lilt of the feminine voice warmed his blood.
"Hi, Jimmy. How's your day going, sweetheart?"
Jimmy smiled. "Better now that I've heard your voice, darlin. How are you feeling today."
Lilly closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "I'm fine, Jimmy. I'm just fine. I was fine last night, and yesterday, and I'm fine today."
Jimmy's smile faded. If only she knew how much he worshipped her -- how much his life depended on her existence.
"Good. I'll be home early tonight. I'm going to shove off just afer the staff meeting."
"That's perfect! Would you mind picking up a bottle of wine on your way home and setting it to chill? We're having a guest for dinner tonight."
There was silence for a moment. "Lilly, I was looking forward to a quiet evening at home with you tonight."
He heard her sigh. "There was a nurse here who really seemed like she needed to be with someone tonight, Jimmy. You know how it is."
He grit his teeth. He would take ten years off of his life just to regain the passion they had in their blissful youth.
"Yeah. I know how it is, Lilly. Red or white."
He wrote down what she wanted from the market and replaced the receiver. With a heavy sigh, he stood to go and meet with the men.
BY:Teresa
How do I tell him? How do I make him understand?
Slowly, she pulled away and was met by his concerned stare. How she longed to see something different in those eyes, something that she was coming to believe just wasn't meant to be.
"Rafe, there's something I have to do. Something that I should have done along time ago. Please, just try and understand."
She tripped and stumbled over the words, hoping he wouldn't feel like he had to do something or say something. This just had to be done. It finally had to be over.
"What's that, Little Sister?" he asked, running his callused thumb across her high cheek. She stiffened against him immediately and a wave of nausea washed through her.
Not that! God, don't do that Rafe! Not now!
She pushed roughly against his chest breaking his hold on her. "Stop it!" she shouted into his face and sprinted towards the foaming surf. He was quick to follow, unsure exactly what he'd managed to do to make her push him away.
"Stop what, Katherine?"
He came up behind her, a hand gently going to her shoulders. A fresh torrent of tears glided along her checks, clinging to her chin and then falling away. His warmth seeped into her overwrought body whether she wanted it to or not, an invasion so personal she wanted melt against it. But it wasn't going to happen -- not today, not anyday. She knew that now and it was a plunge into the icy water of reality.
"I'm not little, Rafe! And I'm not your sister!"
She turned, shaking her head slowly, knowing the dye was cast. "I'm going home."
BY:Loria
Jimmy, it was just a little drink! Jimmy, it takes the edge off! Jimmy, I'm and adult!
All the same arguments ran through her head as she quickly dumped the remainder of the glass down the drain and cupped her hand under the faucet, rinsing her mouth. She wiped the water from her lips just as Jimmy walked through the doorway, shopping bags in hand.
"Hello, Darlin." He smiled warmly, lovingly, as he dropped the bag on the counter. Moving behind her, he wrapped his arms nearly double around her thin waist, moving in time with her hips. The friction below his waist was quickly sending a long denied scream of passion to his brain.
She's my god damn wife! Don't feel guilty Jim! Don't you dare feel fuckin guilty for wanting your own wife, for christ sakes!
He put his hand over hers forcing her to drop the potato and he spun her to face him. He danced her once around the kitchen and then came to a dead stop as she spoke to him.
"Dinner, honey," she giggled, clamping her lower lip between her ivory white teeth.
As soon as she met his eyes she knew he had noticed. The smell of alcohol on her breath slapped him hard across the face and a block of ice settled into the pit of his stomach, fear.
"Lilly! Why? Why tonight? I thought............"
He got no farther as the doorbell rang.
BY:Loria
BY:Kerry
"Hello," he said softly, extending his hand. "You must be Lilly's friend."
"Yes," she said, a bit nervously. "I'm ..."
"Juliana!" Lilly said brightly, walking over and pulling her into the warmth of the room. "Darling, this is Juliana ... the new recruit I was telling you about! Juliana ... this is my husband, Jimmy."
She moved, slipping her arm around his waist and pressing her cheek to his chest. For a slpit second, it reminded him of the Lilly he married. The Lilly that loved him ... wanted him ... could not live without him. He squeezed her shoulder and gestured for Juliana to sit as he relaxed in the large, high backed chair.
"You two get acquainted," Lilly said as she affectionately rubbed Jimmy's shoulder. "I'm going to check the dinner." She stopped at the door. "Juliana, would you like a glass of wine?"
"The younger woman nodded. "I'd love some!"
Lilly smiled and looked at her husband. "Jimmy, honey?"
His eyes locked with his ... his smile never fading. "No ... thank you, sweetheart. I'll wait for dinner."
She nodded and disappeared behind the swinging kitchen door. Alone with her thoughts, she leaned her hands against the counter, looking longingly at the wine chilling in the ice bucket. "You can do this, Lilly. You can do this." She quickly took out the bottle, wrapped a hand towel around it, and moved to get the cork screw from the drawer. Taking one glass, she steeled herself, moved back through the door, and placed the glass and unopened bottle on the coffee table, handing the cork screw to Jimmy.
"Do you mind, darling. You know I'm such a klutz with this thing."
He looked into her eyes, a little smile behind them, nodded his head, and moved to open the bottle. She breathed a sigh of relief. He was happy with her. For the moment, he was happy with her.
BY:Teresa
She tried to push his hands away. "What more do you want me to say, Rafe?" She swiped at her face, tears starting again. "I'll be damned if I'm going to just spell it out for you!"
He gently wiped a tear from her eye with his thumb. He tried to understand. This was the first time he had seen her look so vulnerable ... so intense ... so ... so ... beautiful! He didn't think ... didn't analyze ... he only reacted. With a strong pull, he gathered her into his arm and lowered his lips to her in a warm, gentle kiss. And then something surprising happened. The kiss turned ... became heated and exciting. His tongue slid effortlessly into her slightly parted mouth memorizing the moist recesses of her mouth. His arms pulled her closer as his mind whirled with the concept. I'm kissing Mike! I'm actually kissing Mike! And then it hit him. I'm fucking kissing MIKE!
He quickly pulled away, holding her at arm's length. Shit, she must hate him ... how could he do this to her?
"Mike ... oh god, I'm so sorry! I don't know what got into me!"
He didn't see the dejection on her face ... he was too caught up in what he was feeling at the moment. He rushed on before she had a chance to speak.
"It's just ... you looked so beautiful ... and I've been wondering for so long ... I mean ...." He dropped his hands and sighed, looking to the ground. "Ah, shit! I've tried for years not to do this ... not to push you away and ruin things between us because of something I was feeling!"
He pulled away from her and fell to the ground, pounding the sand with his fist. Why did he have to give in? Why did he have to show her how he felt ... what he had been thinking about all these years? How could things ever be the same?
BY:Teresa
BY:Kerry
"He's fine. I was just about to put him down." She smiled sweetly, trying to still the drumming of her heart. "You want to do it?"
His eyes widened. "Excuse me?"
She extracted Daniel's tiny fingers from her hair and held her arms out offering the baby to Danny. "Do you want to put him to bed?"
He held a breath for what seemed like a lifetime, and then slowly exhaled. He reached out and took the cherub from her arms and moved toward the crib, gently depositing him on the soft cotton blanket. Marisa had followed him and he could feel her breath on the back of his neck as she leaned over him.
"Good," she breathed. "You have a gentle touch. Now, let's get him dressed."
She moved to the second drawer of the dresser and pulled out a fresh diaper and T-shirt. She reveled in the opportunity to regain her senses. She hated herself for what she was thinking and knew he would hate her, as well. Worse, yet ... she would not get to see Daniel ... or Danny ... any more. She shook the pessimistic thought from her head as she moved closer to him with the clothes in hand.
"Here, I'll talk you through it."
She marveled at how gentle he was with Daniel as he dressed the tiny form.
"Will ya look at that," he whispered. "I actually pinned a diaper."
She reached over him and brushed the hair from the child's forehead. "And an excellent job, you did soldier!"
He reached for her hand to give it an affectionate squeeze of thanks. But, the moment his skin connected with hers she jerked her hand back as if it were on fire. And there was no mistaking ... there was fear in her eyes. Not just fear ... terror.
"I'm sorry," he breathed. "I didn't mean to ..."
She shook her head. Damn it, when would she ever forget? Ever quit reacting like it was happening all over again?
"It's not you, Danny. It's me. I ... I ..." She sighed. "It's not you."
Long moments of silence were broken as realization hit Danny like a ton of bricks. "Who was he, Marisa?"
Tears sprang to her eyes. "No one. I can't ... you wouldn't underst ..." She turned and hurried to the door to her room. "Good night, Danny!"
He stood with his hand on his son's stomach and his gaze on the door that closed behind her dainty form. She had a story ... and he needed to hear it. Needed to help her. He wasn't quite sure why ... but he knew he had to.
BY:Teresa
"Excuse me," he said, leaving the two woman to talk about the ins and outs of hospital duties.
"Lt. Peterson, come in."
Jimmy smiled pulling the young man into the entryway. "What has you all the way out here?" He shook the young man's hand roughly.
BY:Loria