Mood:
sillyNow Playing: stanley on playhouse disney for the kids
Video games don't affect kids. I mean, if Pac-Man affected us as kids we'd all be running around in dark rooms, listening to repetitive electronic music and munching magic pills.
Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, BUT, only takes 4 muscles to bitch-slap that little fuck upside the head.
T'was the night before Christmas,
And all through the crib,
Not a creature was stirrin',
and the house smelt like ribs.
I heard a strange noise on the roof tops,
So i grabbed the Phone and called the cops.
Santa got scared and jumped in the grass,
While he was runnin', I popped a cap up his ass!
When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel the cool rush of skiing in the Alps, or skating in Alaska, or bobsledding in Lake Placid! But, while I'm enjoying my York Peppermint Patty, the rush makes me oblivious to the chocolate melting in my hands. The chocolate gets on my keyboard, my mouse, my desk, and every other spot to which chocolate can stick. And when I go to throw away my York Peppermint Patty, I trip over a shoe because I'm too busy looking for a paper towel. I fall over and hit my head on the corner of my desk, cutting it deeply. The sight of my own blood causes me to regurgitate my York Peppermint Patty. Getting up and running to the phone to call 911, I slip on my own vomit, fall down again, and break my neck. And so my warning to all little children: don't smoke pot before eating a York Peppermint Patty
me no money, me no care, me go marry millionare, if he die, me no cry, me go marry other guy.
sex izz lyke math.....u subract the clothes....
add tha bed....
Divide tha legs....
and hope u dont multiply....................
1. Say the word PIG before each word.
pigs
about
talking
idiot
this
got
I
long
how
look
2. Now say PIG before and after the words.
3. Finally, read the words starting from the bottom.
there was a tragic accident and 30 VERY ungly people died.
they all went to the pearly gates at the same time. st. peter was so moved by the tragidy that he sayed "before you go into heaven i will grant you each one wish"
so they all lined up. the first ugly man sayed "make me handsome" so st.peter did.
a man at the back of the line snickered.
then the second woman sayed "make me beautiful" so st. peter did.
again the man at the end started laughing.
all the people wished the same thing: to be beautiful.
and each time the last mans laughter grew louder n' louder.
then st. peter finally came to the last man, who was laughing this whole time.
and sayed:what whish do u want me to grant?"
the man sayed, while laughing histricaly "Make them all ugly again!!"
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good-looking female Sheltie comes up to them and says, ''Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me.''
So the Doberman says, ''I love liver and cheese.''
The Sheltie says, ''That's not good enough.''
The Bulldog says, ''I hate liver and cheese.''
She says, ''That's not creative.''
Finally, with his Mexican accent, the Chihuahua says, ''Liver alone......cheese mine.''
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow...
And 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
one bright mornin in the middle of the night two dead boys came out to fight. they stood back to back and faced eachother drew their swords and shot eachother.the deaf policeman heard the noise and came to kill those two dead boys. If u dont believe my story its true ask the blind man he saw it 2!
Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
Wanna see a trick???
Press alt+F4 at the same time.
Good friends help you up when you trip. Best friends laugh their heads off because they're the one who tripped you in the first place.
My Songif you ever think you have it bad just think of an egg, they only get laid and fried once thier entire life..."when you came into this world you were crying and others were smileing, live your life so when you leave this world your smileing and others are crying"...
"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter" Dr. Suess..
tomorrow is another day, the first day of the rest of your life, one cant change the past but only work too improve the future~! ....
"hes such a beautiful disaster" kelly clarkson
"im a bitch, im a tease, im a goddess on my knees....im a saint, im a lover, im your angel undercover...and you wouldnt want it any other way"
lazy