Tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight! (Tragic sounds) Tragedy tomorrow! Comedy tonight! (A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum: Comedy Tonight)[489k WAV]

Who knows, I don't speak Yiddish. Strangely enough, neither did he. (The Producers: The King Of Broadway)[90.1k WAV]

Who do y'have to f^ck to get a break in this town?! (The Producers: The King Of Broadway)[53.1k WAV]

I always had the biggest hits, the biggest bathrooms at the Ritz, my show girls had the biggest t!ts, I never was the pits in any way! (The Producers: The King Of Broadway)[198k WAV]

My shows were always filled with class, the best champagnes would fill my glass, my lap was filled with gorgeous ass, you couldn't call me crass in any way! (The Producers: The King Of Broadway)[203k WAV]

Brazil? Who do I know in Brazil? (The Producers: Betrayed)[52.6k WAV]

I thought that we were brothers, then you stabbed me in the back! (The Producers: Betrayed)[112k WAV]

Keep it gay! Keep it gay! Keep it--two three, kick turn, turn turn, kick turn! (The Producers: Betrayed)[74.6k WAV]

I should've seen what came to pass, I should've known to watch my @$$! (The Producers: Betrayed)[69.5k WAV]

And I hear her calling out to me, 'Alvin! Don't forget your chores. The wood needs a-cordin and the cows need a-milkin'. Alvin, Alvin!' Wait a minute! My name's not Alvin! That's not my life! I'm not a hillbilly! I grew up in the Bronx! (The Producers: Betrayed)[453k WAV]

And put Brooklyn anywhere! Take me home! But, please. Please! I beg on my knees. Don't monkey with old Broadway! Baby, it's my street, so keep your @$$ off it! Oh, yeah! (Letterman: Don't Monkey With Broadway)[622k WAV]

Too bad, because I love your choices! We went from Mr. Abuse You, to Mr. Use You. Plus, a Christmas fling with a crossdresser that I blew the whistle on, thank you, very much. (Frankie And Johnny)[188k WAV]

Wait a minute! Do you have a date with him or did you order sandwhiches? (Frankie And Johnny)[56.2k WAV]

[Laugh] So, uh, I guess this is your first date! Uh, we just started dating, ourselves. (Frankie And Johnny)[106k WAV]

Well, I'll look him up in the directory. Under the new listings. (Frankie And Johnny)[95k WAV]

Are you expecting someone? (Frankie And Johnny)[21.6k WAV]

Ooh! I just got goosebumps! Do you know that song? [sings] Frankie And Johnny. (Frankie And Johnny)[90.5k WAV]

Johnny, I gotta go. We're expecting another call from you any minute. (Click) (Frankie And Johnny)[81.2k WAV]

Ha ha ha! Yes! (Frankie And Johnny)[50.1k WAV]

He wore gold pumps? (Frankie And Johnny)[26.5k WAV]

Welcome home! [kiss] (Frankie And Johnny)[36.9k WAV]

How do I look? (Frankie And Johnny)[8.57k WAV]

I'm sure! (Frankie And Johnny)[10.7k WAV]

I know, I know. I said I'd never fall in love, again. Ha! Where did that get me? ("Don't get dramatic, now.") It's an occupational hazard. (Frankie And Johnny)[172k WAV]

Kentucky. Do you believe this? I'm dating Huck Fin! (Frankie And Johnny)[46.2k WAV]

Let me weave my magic spell! (Frankie And Johnny)[38.5k WAV]

What's the matter with you? (Frankie And Johnny)[23.8k WAV]

Nice meeting you! (Frankie And Johnny)[16k WAV]

Nnno! (Frankie And Johnny)[20.1k WAV]

("No, no!") Whaaat? (Frankie And Johnny)[17.6k WAV]

("You know, I have a cousin that's gay. By the way.") Oh! Most people do. (Frankie And Johnny)[110k WAV]

We uh, met at a Doctor Pepper audition. He was the big pepper, I was the little pepper. [Laughs] (Frankie And Johnny)[147k WAV]

Yes! Ooh, mama! The pumps! Definately the pumps! (Frankie And Johnny)[78.4k WAV]

He's singing. (Frankie And Johnny)[15k WAV]

This is so exciting! I feel like your big sister! (Frankie And Johnny)[55.7k WAV]

A VCR. I hope it comes with a lot of attachments. (Frankie And Johnny)[58.5k WAV]

Frankie, don't get me wrong. I love watching televisioin with you, I hope we'll be best friends the rest of our lives, but, I mean, there's a whole world out there and there's no use pretending there's not just because our feelings got hurt or there's some G*dd@mn virus. (Frankie And Johnny)[283k WAV]

(Ring) Can I answer this? ("Tell him to go to hell!") Frankie just said something very duragatory about you. But, I know at least a dozen women and quite a few men I could put you in touch with. Johnny, give it a rest. She doesn't wanna talk. He wants to know about tonight. Saturday night. The lonliest night of the week. (Frankie And Johnny)[360k MP3]

What's going on, here? (Frankie And Johnny)[19.9k WAV]

That b@st@rd! ("He's talking about a family!") Boy, you can pick 'em. Love. A home. Marriage. Who needs that? (Frankie And Johnny)[137k WAV]

Oh, I hope it works out. (Frankie And Johnny)[31.8k WAV]

All these prying questions! I haven't done anything! Leave me alone! (Encore! Encore!)[142k WAV]

I was in the mood for a really fresh carrot. (Encore! Encore!)[46.5k WAV]

(Dream sequence where Joe creepily forces a hospital patient to drink brandy) (Encore! Encore!)[618k MP3]

Oh, have I, mother? Have I? Well, I suppose I have. (Encore! Encore!)[95.8k WAV]

Hello, loved ones. (Encore! Encore!)[21.8k WAV]

Remember! Not a word to anyone. Just act natural! (Encore! Encore!)[78.5k WAV]

Hm. A friend in need is a friend in-- Yeah. Yeah, I, I think that was it. Yeah. (George And Martha)[120k WAV]

And I uh, he um, uh, oh. (Whistles) (George And Martha)[112k WAV]

(George and Martha argue and insult each other) (George And Martha)[553k WAV]

Egads! (George And Martha)[22.3k WAV]

Nooo! My world is crumbling! [Sobs] Have mercy! (George And Martha)[162k WAV]

That pickle poacher! (George And Martha)[29.1k WAV]

The what?! (George And Martha)[12.6k WAV]

Wild fell down a well! Lassie told me! And he needs your help! (George And Martha)[96.9k WAV]

No! [Struggle] Uh, I mean uh, there's no need! You see, the well um, isn't that deep! It's sort've, it's one of those mini wells! (George And Martha)[296k WAV]

[Whiny] By the way, Martha, you don't really think I'm whiny, do yah? (George And Martha)[97.3k WAV]

Yes! (George And Martha)[21.1k WAV]

And that's why we're a blockuster. It's bigger than Cats. Now and forgetaboutit. (Guys & Dolls Off The Record)[112k WAV]

Ah ha! ("Sixteen million, from Ernie Smuntz!") Nooo! (Mouse Hunt)[74.2k WAV]

When you hear the beep, start talkin'. (Mouse Hunt)[24.4k WAV]

Betrayal?! Don't talk to me about betrayal! You should've told me about that offer! Half that factory is mine! (Mouse Hunt)[172k WAV]

What? The bidding? All right. Thank you. (Mouse Hunt)[99.1k WAV]

Me?! Y-you blame me, for this? (Mouse Hunt)[54k WAV]

I am not their brother! I don't have any sisters! (Mouse Hunt)[69.9k WAV]

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! Can I have the egg? Can I? Huh? Huh? (Mouse Hunt)[72.1k WAV]

I didn't leave, Lars. I was cast out. (Mouse Hunt)[38.6k WAV]

He was crazy! (Mouse Hunt)[19k WAV]

I think you're giving him a little too much credit. (Mouse Hunt)[41.3k WAV]

Yeah, I was on top once, too. But there's only one way to go from there, and that's down, baby! Down! (Mousehunt)[146k WAV]

Down, baby! Down! (Mousehunt)[50.5k WAV]

Get me my Guoda! (Mouse Hunt)[78.4k WAV]

Ah, hakuna matata! (Mouse Hunt)[33.4k WAV]

Oh. I forgot to put holes in the box. [Evil laugh] (Mouse Hunt)[123k WAV]

I can't! [Shovel banging noises] God! [Whimpery] Look at him, just lying there! It just doesn't feel very sportsmanlike! (Mouse Hunt)[222k WAV]

I hate you! ("And I hate you!") Not as much as I hate you! ("Yeah?") Yeah! Double! Double! (Mouse Hunt)[161k WAV]

Shut up! I'm thinking! I'm thinking! (Mouse Hunt)[59.3k WAV]

You killed him! [Laughs] (Mouse Hunt)[92.7k WAV]

Uh, [Clears throat] when Quincy Thorpe, of The Historical Society, told us of it's value, you uh, you could've knocked [Pound] us over with a feather. We didn't know what hit [Several pounds] us! The renovation was exhausting, but ultimately rewarding. The house was in terrible disrepair, but nothing that a few nails [Lots of pounding] and some el- [Microphone squeals] old-fasioned elbow grease couldn't fix. ("I'm sure the people are eager to get to the bidding.") What? The bidding? All right. Thank you. (Mouse Hunt)[869k MP3]

And you know why? (Mouse Hunt)[23.2k WAV]

Mice don't mock. They don't have a sense of humour or irony. He's not sitting in his hole in a smoking jacket, sipping cognac and giggling to himself, 'I left the pit.' The trap snapped itself, the olive flew off and he ate it. It's just that simple. (Mouse Hunt)[311k WAV]

[Sinister laugh] (Mouse Hunt)[37.9k WAV]

I'm talkin'....one mean pussy. (Mouse Hunt)[48.1k WAV]

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! (Mouse Hunt)[20.7k WAV]

Why are you wearing a pink overcoat? (Mouse Hunt)[30.2k WAV]

They are good, aren't they? Raisins? (Mouse Hunt)[60.5k WAV]

Well, I distinctly remember somebody yelling, 'Shoot! Shoot!' (Mouse Hunt)[81.4k WAV]

Spoons! Spoons! So many spoons, so little time! (Mouse Hunt)[93.6k WAV]

Come on, you love string! (Mouse Hunt)[36.8k WAV]

I don't think we'll be seeing anymore of that [Yells] mouse! (Mouse Hunt)[57.8k WAV]

Ooh, and of course, something no household should be without! The ceramic egg! Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! Can I have the egg? Can I? Huh? Huh? No. I want you to have it. (Mouse Hunt)[225k WAV]

Now you know, this house will last forever! [Creaks] (Mouse Hunt)[84.8k WAV]

It's only a toy! (Mouse Hunt)[27.7k WAV]

Because, I have no respect for you! Spending your whole life in that stupid factory! It's tragic! (Mouse Hunt)[190k WAV]

What a treasure. What a legacy. Spoons! Spoons! So many spoons, so little time! Ooh, and of course, something no household should be without! The ceramic egg! Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! Can I have the egg? Can I? Huh? Huh? No. I want you to have it. (Mouse Hunt)[295k MP3]

[Whispering] ("Did you see him?") Yes! ("I thought so!") He ate the string. ("What?!") The string. Pop's lucky string. The son-of-a-b!tch ate it! Why didn't you tell me you saw him? [Shows box] I told you, you shoulda weighed him! ("I'm sorry!") (Mouse Hunt)[391k WAV]

He's Hitler, with a tail! This is the Omen, with whiskers! Nostradamos didn't see this thing coming! (Mouse Hunt)[107k WAV]

I've been making it for you! (George And Martha)[27.2k WAV]

Ah-haha! Good one, Martha! (George And Martha)[35.5k WAV]

Ha! 'Nother good one! (George And Martha)[31.3k WAV]

No! Why should I be scared? (George And Martha)[52.4k WAV]

Martha! The fire department just called! ("They did?") They wanted to know who was burning old sneakers! Ha! Old sneakers! Haha! (George And Martha)[221k WAV]

Just teasin', Martha! Just teasin'. (George And Martha)[51.2k WAV]

In fact, I was so eager to come, I turned down a chance to be an extra in Coma Part 2. (Miami Vice)[86.7k WAV]

Oh, come on! Oh, don't play hard to get! (Miami Vice)[84.1k WAV]

I don't mind if you don't. (Miami Vice)[21.3k WAV]

I know it's hard to believe, I, I used to work int he stock exchange. Until one of the brokers told me when my IQ hits 20, I should sell. (Miami Vice)[140k WAV]

Good. That's nice. That's what I like to hear. I like to be thanked. [Kiss] (Miami Vice)[119k WAV]

Come on! We're gonna trade favours. Tit for tat. You wash my back, I'll wash yours. (Miami Vice)[180k WAV]

Why?! Because I haven't told you the secret of life in five words or less, you're getting antsy? (Jeffrey)[74.1k WAV]

Darling, have you ever been to a picnic? And somebody blows up a balloon. And everyone starts tossing it around and it's always just about to touch the ground, but someone always gets there just in time to tap it back up. That balloon, that's God. The very best in all of us. The kindness. The heavy petting. Funny Girl! (Jeffrey)[457k MP3]

Don't hit me! (Jeffrey)[10.6k WAV]

Who cares! Evil bores me. It's one note. It doesn't sing! (Jeffrey)[74.8k WAV]

Maybe you didn't hear me. I'm a Catholic priest. Historically that falls somewhere in between chorus boy and florist. (Jeffrey)[182k WAV]

I'm sorry! Hands off! (Jeffrey)[41.3k WAV]

[Sigh] God! I am so horny! You know what it's like in here? Father, I abused myself eight times last week. Father, I'm attracted to my brother-in-law. Father, I'm having impure thoughts about my soccer coach! Where are the polaroids?! What am I, a mind reader? Say six Hail Marys and bring me your shorts! (Jeffrey)[320k MP3]

Hi! Look! Huh? Hello, gorgeous! Oklahoma! Oklahoma! ("You're nuts.") Oh, excuse me? Those people out there, they're worshipping ressurections, virgin births, Ben-Hur and I'm nuts? (Jeffrey)[258k MP3]

Of course, life sucks! It always will so why not make the most of it? How dare you not lunge for any shred of happiness! (Jeffrey)[157k WAV]

I'm attarcted to you! The door's locked! (Jeffrey)[43.1k WAV]

Come 'ere, you big lug! (Jeffrey)[29.8k WAV]

Of course! (Jeffrey)[17.4k WAV]

Okay, okay. (Jeffrey)[25.8k WAV]

I'm tellin' you, the only times I really feel the presence of God are when I'm having sex and during a great Broadway musical. (Jeffrey)[138k WAV]

Okay. [Laughs] All I wanted was a quickie. (Jeffrey)[75.7k WAV]

[Sings "Everything's Coming Up Roses"] (Jeffrey)[533k MP3]

So, maybe you need a rubber! Or a surgical mask. Or a roll of plastic wrap. (Jeffrey)[87.9k WAV]

[On seeing Satan] (Jeffrey)[293k WAV]

What? What's wrong? Is it the colar? Is that a turn-off? (Jeffrey)[72.1k WAV]

Wait! What is with you? (Jeffrey)[28.6k WAV]

Boom, boom! (He Said, She Said)[10.5k WAV]

[Laughs] Why don't we, uh, take a short break and then, maybe, try it again? Okay? Good. [Laughs] (He Said, She Said)[182k WAV]

[Sigh] Here, you do this! It's too disgusting! (He Said, She Said)[46.1k WAV]

And you! You, Judas. Don't forget where your bread is buttered! You may not have a job, tomorrow! I may not have a job, tomorrow! (He Said, She Said)[142k WAV]

Here I am, sir! And, and this is Ray! (He Said, She Said)[35k WAV]

Stop tape, please! (He Said, She Said)[23k WAV]

This can't be happening! This is a nightmare. Work with me, God! (He Said, She Said)[55.5k WAV]

Hello, darling! It's me, the artist. I've been painting all day and I'm famished! Let's go out! (George And Martha)[107k WAV]

[George hums "Roll Out The Barrel"] (George And Martha)[236k WAV]

[George laughs] ("What's so funny?") (George And Martha)[187k WAV]

Oh! Hey, I know what you're doin'. You're playin' with my head. You're just tryin' to get me mad! But, [Laughs] I can control my temper. (George And Martha)[164k WAV]

Ooh! Let me see! (George And Martha)[17.3k WAV]

You're blocking my sun. (George And Martha)[28.5k WAV]

Aw. Hate to see that happen. My turn!. (George And Martha)[73.2k WAV]

Now, now, Penny. Temper, temper! (George And Martha)[55.1k WAV]

Well, you're always beautiful to me. ("I am, aren't I?") Oy! (George And Martha)[129k WAV]

That'll be one penny....Penny! [Laughs] (George And Martha)[110k WAV]

[Sings] Got the perfect present! And she's gonna love it so much! (George And Martha)[90.5k WAV]

[Laughs] I guess it's on yours! ("George! That's not funny!") [Laughs] You're right, Martha! [Snort] It's certainly not! [Laughs] ("How would you like....") (George And Martha)[269k WAV]

[George coughs when cakemix gets in his face] (George And Martha)[69.9k WAV]

[George giggles in bed when Martha tickles his feet with a feather] (George And Martha)[258k WAV]

I couldn't help but notice you not noticing me and-- (George And Martha)[58.8k WAV]

[Sleepily] I'm still asleep. I really don't mind. It's Saturday. I love sleeping late on Saturday. (George And Martha)[155k WAV]

Oh! Oh-ho! Martha! I-- [Stutters] I was just on my way to see you! (George And Martha)[158k WAV]

I'm taking a shower! (George And Martha)[76.7k WAV]

[George snoring] (George And Martha)[81.0k WAV]

I'm a boy, not a dog! A boy, not a dog! Don't blow it now. They wouldn't understand! (Teacher's Pet)[96.4k WAV]

I do not wish to be a dog. (Teacher's Pet)[31k WAV]

But, no. I'm a dog. I stay home and bite my buttocks. (Teacher's Pet)[128k WAV]

Hi, guys! (Teacher's Pet)[30.1k WAV]

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! (Teacher's Pet)[24.8k WAV]

[Sings] I am so happy! I am so happy! (Teacher's Pet)[46.5k WAV]

I...am going....to school! (Teacher's Pet)[71k WAV]

[Laughs] (The Man Who Came To Dinner)[84.3k WAV]

[Sings a song about being a little Rabbit in the Sunshine] (The Man Who Came To Dinner)[324k MP3]

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Last Updated: 09 September 2002.
Copyright © 2002, Lisa/Annica Inc.
All Rights Reserved.