As I am wheeled through the Emergency Room doors, my entire life flashes before my eyes. It hasn't been pretty, I notice; there have been enough trials to fill several lifetimes. The lights in the room are overpowering; I can barely hear myself think. What I see above me are hospital gowns of both white and green in color. And I see Todd, and feel his fingers lazily drifting across my forehead.
The last time I was here, I thought I might not ever make it out. This time, there is a different feel; I know that in a day or so, I will walk through those doors under my own power. I know too, that when I leave, there will be a strong pair of hands that will catch me should I ever fall again, and if I don't, those same arms will be there to hold me tightly.
"It's gonna be all right, Tea," he tries to convince me, but this time, it doesn't take much convincing.
Our journey ends in some sort of examining room where the lights are even brighter and more pronounced. One might mistake this place as heaven, but the stinch of articifial cleanliness gives our location away. I hear them talking above me, but for some reason, the only words that go through clearly are those spoken by Todd.
"Just try and relax," he says, "I'm not goin' anywhere."
I feel a slight pinch sort of thing as the IV needle pierces my skin. I do not flinch, or move as the needle infuses my body with a much needed river of nutrients. Eventually, they all disappear, leaving Todd and me in one of their unnaturally clean rooms.
Todd doesn't try to speak to me and I appreciate that. Right now, what I need is to be left to my own devices where I can try and regain my composure. There are so many things going on in my head; I wonder if everyone knows that I'm okay, or if Todd has been too busy to tell them. I wonder about the kind eyed man, and if he's told anyone of his connection to Jared, or if the police are waiting right outside the hall to have a conversation with me.
I don't have to wait too long before two officers quietly enter my room. Todd gives them a look, which is meant to intimidate them. They ignore his deadly stare and walk right past him muttering, "We need a minute with her."
"It's okay, Todd," I say, before he has a chance to snap back with a nasty remark. He looks at me as if I'm speaking a foreign language.
"Tea-"
"It's okay…really. I need to talk to them."
He throws his hands up in frustrated resignation, shooting a look in my direction. I ignore him, turning my attnention instead, to the men who stand in front of me. When I'm sure he's out of the room, I clear my throat and brace myself for their reaction when I inform that that one of their own did this to me.
"How ya feelin'?" Officer Dominguez asks. He is the taller of the two with an attitude that cannot accurately be described. He is at once a massive being with bulging muscles, and a high-pitched speaker with a gentle touch. I'm not sure which personality is truly his, so I speak to him very carefully, sure not to let anything slip.
"I'm doing," I reply.
"So, can you tell us exactly what happened?"
I tell the story to them, repeating every detail I can possibly remember. I say there were eat least two of them and that one left before they got there. I tell them that the bruise on my face really did come from the fist of one of my captors. Then, they ask if I knew who they were? I take my time before answering, tried their already thin patience.
"Ms. Delgado?"
"Yes, do know who one of them is; it's your District Attorney."
They both burst into a fit of laughter, the likes of which I have rarely, if ever seen. "Yeah, right," Dominguez says.
"I'm not joking," I say, without cracking a smile. "We go way back and he's been out for me ever since we were teenagers."
"You got any proof?"
"That's your job, not mine," I snap.
At this point, I only fuel his anger with my sarcasm. Who does he think he is to judge me before even seeing all of the evidence? I turn away from him in frustration, knowing in my heart that Jared is likely to get away with his crime once again. "Are you even going to question him?" I ask, not certain that I am ready to hear the answer.
"We're going to follow all leads in this case, m'am."
I've learned many things in my lifetime, one of which is to never leave anything completely in the hands of someone else. They will never do as good of a job as you. As I lie in this bed with no distractions in the way, it's easy for me to see the dishonesty in their faces. The lies are all right there on the surface and I know that justice will once again fail me.
"So, what's your plan of attack?" I ask, knowing good and well that there is no such plan in motion. If anything, they are planning on a way to protect my tormenter.
"Well, we have to wait for the results of ballistics-"
"You're not going to find anything; he wore gloves all the time."
"We're also going to test for hair fibers."
"Okay, say you find something to link him to this, then what to you plan on doing?"
"We'll cross that bridge if and if we come to it, Ms. Delgado."
They both rise to their full height, making them seem much more intimidating than when they are sitting down. They smooth the front of their neatly pressed uniforms and dusting whatever particles may have landed on them while they were sitting. From this submissive position, I cannot hold my chin back; I cannot muster up the confidence that I once possessed. "When will I hear from you?"
"Well, we'll see you tomorrow; you have to sign the statement."
And with that, they both leave the room. I lift my hand to my forehead, and rub the sides of my temples. My head begins to throb incessantly, nearly causing me to black out.
*****
I don't remember closing my eyes, but when I open them again, it is well into the night. The city lights cascade through the window, causing a beautiful prism to appear on the opposite wall. For a moment, I am hypnotized by the beauty of the dancing particles. Then, a voice snaps me back from that place of deep concentration.
"What's wrong, Delgado?" Todd asks, staring at me from across the room, nearly completely concealed by the darkness. He walks over to my bed and looks down at me. Even in the darkness, I can see how much he cares for me.
"Nothing, I just-"
"You were movin' all around; I had to stand over there, just so you wouldn't kick me," he jokes. "You havin' bad dreams or somethin'?"
"I guess I was." I dreamed I was locked in that room again, with my hands tied behind my back and no voice to scream. I dreamed I was paralyzed from the neck down, and as I desparetely tried to free myself from my captor, the chains he used kept tightening around my wrists. "Did they catch Jared?"
"No, they didn't."
I know Todd very well, and I know from the sound of his voice that the police didn't catch him, but he did. I ask no more questions, but we have the silent understanding that who was once my problem will never, ever touch my life again. For once, I am grateful for his willingness to go beyond the restraints of the law. "Does the judge know what happened?"
"Yeah. Said something about a continuance or something like that. I don't really know, but you get a couple weeks to get better, or whatever."
He slowly sits down in the chair next to my bed and there's something about his motions that tells me something is seriously wrong with him. I know immediately that it's something with his life with the Blaircuda, but he would never volunteer something like that; he doesn't want that part of him to touch me.
"Hey, they said they might let you get outta here tomorrow."
"Yeah?"
"Yup."
We don't say another word for the rest of the night. I stare at him as he avoids my gaze. His attention is focused on the ceiling, a generic reproduction that hangs on the wall, the lights that blanket the city; focused on anything other than me.
*****
They might as well put a revolving door on my room with as many visitors as I've had. Just as one leaves, someone else enters to express their sympathy. After about the third person, I feel as if I'm going to scream.
It's not that I'm ungrateful that so many people care for me, but I'm just so tired. It's as if someone has stuck me with a pin, releasing all the energy my body stored. All I want is to be in my own home, lying in my own bed, amongst my things.
I wanted to call Derek first thing this morning, but things kept getting in the way. The moment I get a little peace and quiet, I ask Todd to give me some privacy. I just don't want to risk saying anything that could be construed as violating the privilege that exists between Derek and me.
The officer who answers seems reluctant to let me speak to him, but this is not something unexpected. I quickly slip on my hat of hard core attorney and it doesn't take me long to scare him into putting my client on the phone. I can hear him speaking to Derek in the background, as if he's some sort of hardened criminal, born and raised in the system.
"Hello?"
"Hi sweetie."
He lets out a sigh of relief; I can practically picture him leaning his head against the wall. I wish I could be there to reassure him that everything's going to be all right. I can only imagine what life has been like for him without me there to make sure all his needs have been met.
"I'm okay, Derek. Everything's going to be okay."
He says nothing for the longest time and I wait patiently for him to find his voice. "Miss Delgado, I thought you left me."
His voice is weak, fractured, weak, hurt and I can't even begin to think about how he must've felt. His life has been about nothing more than abandonment by people he loves and trusts, to think that I did the same must've been devastating. I hold back my tears, trying to be strong for him. "I would never leave you, Derek."
"What happened?"
"I just ran into a little trouble, but everything's okay now. I'm gonna try and see you in a couple days, okay?"
"What's gonna happen to me?"
I do not know how to answer his question. This could go on for days, or months even, there's just no way to tell. The thought of him spending months in prison, it sticks in the back of my throat, nearly choking me to death. I cannot tell him that there is a possibility that when all is said and done and if he's acquitted, he could quite possibly have spent an entire year of his life locked behind bars.
"Miss Delgado, they said that lawyer on the other side, they said he's dead."
"That's true."
"They said they gonna have to start over and I'm gonna have to spend more time in jail."
"Well, nobody knows for sure what's going on."
That's not what he wanted to hear, but what more can I give? I do not want to give him false hope, especially when there's no way of predicting how this will all turn out. I want to get out of this stupid hospital room and go to him because I know he needs someone.
"I'm never gettin' out of here." He is hanging on by a thread, as am I.
"We're gonna work as hard as we can, okay? Derek, don't get discouraged; you're gonna need your strength." I believe my last statement with everything in me. Things have changed now; I don't have to worry about Jared and his antics. I can concentrate on the here, the now and getting this boy's life back on track.
We end our conversation with the silent understanding that everything will in fact, be all right. He trusts me and believes it when I say he will once again see the light of day and experience the roar of the crowd when he shoots a three point dunk. A feeling of satisfaction washes over me as I lie on my back, smiling toward the heavens.
"It’s hard to believe that Harry met Sally back in 1989. Things were so different then: Bush was president. The economy was tanking. We were about to go to war with Iraq."
- Billy Crystal, actor, commenting on the current political climate in the United States compared to 14 years ago. Source: US Weekly
