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| REACHING OUT BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 66 |
PREVIOUSLY:
Tea: My legs were paralyzed. My wheelchair freed me. My heart was paralyzed. You freed me.
Todd: I think that's the sappiest thing you've ever said to me.
Tea: It's true. I'm scared of what the future will be. It comforts me knowing that we'll face it together.
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REACHING OUT
chapter 66:
[Todd lies down on the bed next to Tea.]
Todd: You're really okay having me around?
Tea: I'm more than okay. After...the accident...
Todd: You don't have to talk about that right now. You don't have to talk about that ever again.
Tea: It is painful thinking about what I lost because I chose to bring my grandmother here, because I chose to invite Tomas...
Todd: I don't want you to feel lousy anymore. That's why I got you out of that hellhole.
Tea: It isn't where I live that determines how I feel.
Todd: But, now that you're living with me, you feel better, right?
Tea: It still hurts. I still feel miserable. That may not change for a long time, if it ever does. I don't want you to take it personally that I can't magically get beyond what happened.
Todd: It happened. You can't change it. It doesn't matter how much misery you try to surround yourself with, or how much pain you try to inflict on yourself, you'll never feel like it's enough. Trust me, I know.
Tea: You need to stop punishing yourself for the past.
Todd: What about you?
Tea: I deserve to be punished.
Todd: I chose to do the stuff I did. You didn't choose this.
Tea: I made choices that resulted in two special people losing their lives.
Todd: You chose to go on vacation. You didn't choose for them to die. There's a big difference.
Tea: It doesn't feel that way.
Todd: It's not your fault.
Tea: Maybe we should talk about something else.
Todd: I'll spend the rest of my life making it clear that it wasn't your fault.
Tea: You and I both know our relationship won't last long. It never has in the past.
Todd: You don't get it. I'll never forget what it felt like when Briggs told me what happened. The guy's got a mean streak in him. He let me think at first that you didn't make it. That feeling I felt when I thought you had split on me forever changed everything. From now on, no matter how much you tick me off, I'll remember that feeling and always forgive you. You're never getting rid of me again, no matter how hard you try.
Tea: I'm not trying to get rid of you.
Todd: You were.
Tea: Not anymore. I remember the feeling I had, too, when I realized how precarious our time is. I always assumed we would have more time.
Todd: Now we have tons of time.
Tea: I remember the way it felt when I first realized the severity of what happened...the plane...my grandmother... I wanted to hear your voice. Even just hearing your voice on your answering machine helped more than you'll ever know.
Todd: Did you really think I got your message and just didn't give a damn about you and that's why I didn't show up right away?
Tea: Sometimes it's hard to predict how you'll respond to situations, or know how you feel about anyone.
Todd: From now on you'll know exactly how I feel about you. I don't care how much of a sap it makes me, if it makes you feel less lousy, I'll degrade myself every day telling you how much I love you.
Tea: I love you, too.
Todd: Then, shut up and sleep with me.
Tea: Just sleep?
Todd: Okay, if you insist, I'll let you wrap yourself around me, too.
Tea: I do enjoy that. Today, though, I think I'd prefer to have you wrapped around me.
Todd: While we're both naked?
Tea (using a stern voice): Todd...
Todd: It will happen.
Tea: Not today.
Todd: But it will happen?
Tea: I know I'm not ready right now. That's all I'm certain of.
Todd: I love you. Be certain about that.
Tea: I'm trying.
[Todd places his arm across her stomach and brings his body closer to hers.]
Todd: Stop trying. Let yourself believe in me.
Tea: It's important to you, isn't it?
Todd: No one's ever believed in me the way you used to.
Tea: Believing in you is easy. It's the way you feel about me that I've always had difficulty trusting.
Todd: This isn't just a bunch of junk that I'm saying this time.
Tea: This time? So, it was a lie in the past?
Todd: I've said stuff to chicks because I thought that's what I was supposed to say.
Tea: Have you done that with me?
Todd: Did I tell you the bed does stuff?
Tea: Don't change the subject.
[Todd leans his body over Tea's and reaches for the controls for her side of the bed. As Todd presses a button and turns on the massage feature, he hopes to distract Tea so they won't have to talk anymore.]
to be continued...
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2003 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
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