The Florencia Lozano Homepage - Fan Fiction
AFFLICTION
BY TROG |
CHAPTER
21 |
CHAPTER 21
Todd walked without impetus as he headed for Vicki’s front door. When he awakened this morning with Tea beside him he had never felt so alive but now all he felt was decay and death around him. Ben Davidson was dead, Vicki was a widow and Tea’s husband was probably responsible for all of it. As he rang the doorbell he felt tremendous guilt at his own happiness, knowing that Vicki’s own happiness was gone.
“Uncle Todd...come on in,” said Jessica, looking pale and tired in a pink sweater and jeans.
“How’s Vicki? Did she sleep through the night?”
“Yeah, I guess those pills really knocked her out. But she won’t leave her room this morning....”
“WELL, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, TODD?”
Todd looked into the livingroom of Llanfair and saw Blair standing there in a tight, purple dress with her hands on her hips. Todd looked back at Jessica who looked embarrassed at Blair’s outburst.
“I’m going to go upstairs and check on mom...give you two a chance to talk...” said Jessica making her way quickly upstairs as Todd headed into the livingroom.
“Answer my question, Todd! Where have you been the last three nights?”
“Lower your voice, Blair, Vicki doesn’t need your shrieking right now. This house is in mourning. Ben is dead...or haven’t you heard.”
“Oh, yeah, I heard...I heard it on the radio because my own husband didn’t have the decency to inform his own family.”
“Gee, I’m sorry, Blair...Vicki’s husband was gunned down right before her eyes and she’s hysterical...so we were kind of tied up. Her husband is dead, but all you can think is how it’s affecting you...you’re a piece of work do you know that?”
“Hey...that’s not what I meant and you know it! I happen to care about Vicki and Ben...they’re my family too you know.”
“Vicki is MY family...and she’s my kids’ family...NOT YOURS!”
“You and I are married, Todd! That makes her my family.”
“Not for long. I want a divorce. I’m serving you with papers in a few days. This marriage is a hideous joke that is turning us both into people we don’t want to be and turning our kids into...us. Maybe we had something once, Blair, but that was over a long time ago...we both know deep down that this was a big mistake. I want a divorce.”
Blair just stood there her face twisted in a hard sneer as her eyes narrowed and her mouth opened into an O at his request.
“You want a what...?”
“A divorce. I don’t want to be married to you...we can discuss the details later...I‘ll try to be reasonable. Don’t make this difficult, Blair...or you’ll regret it.”
“You bastard! How can you ask me for divorce at a time like this...when Vicki’s just lost her husband. You are a heartless monster.”
“Oh I have a heart, Blair...you just haven’t been able to find it...not that you ever bothered to look. And Ben’s death has shown me one thing...life is too short to waste it being miserable with you. Now...I’m going upstairs to see Vicki and I’d appreciate it if you left...she doesn’t need to deal with our shit right now,” said Todd heading for the stairs.
“TODD! DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME!” shouted Blair, but he ignored her and just continued upstairs, leaving her standing below in her rage.
*****************************
Todd ran into Jessica coming out of Vicki’s room.
“How’s she doing?” asked Todd.
Jessica shook her head as tears sprang to her eyes and Todd hugged her awkwardly, comforting others never being a very easy thing for him.
“I’ll talk to her...why don’t you go and get some rest,” he said as Jessica nodded her head and went to her room.
Todd entered Vicki’s bedroom quietly. He looked around at the Victorian wallpaper of antique pink and green roses and the heavy, classic mahogany furniture--expensive and elegant. It smelled of roses and perfume...and old money. He looked at the empty four-poster bed but Vicki wasn’t in it, she was sitting by the window in a pink, rosewood armchair, still in her robe, just staring outside, listless and silent.
He grabbed a straight-back chair from a nearby desk and went to sit beside her. Taking her hand in his he looked into her swollen, dejected eyes and knew she had been crying all morning.
“Hey, Vicki....”
She smiled weakly and put her hand up to his face, touching his hair as if he were a little boy.
“I’m okay, Todd. I....I just...I just don’t know what to do next,” she said in a trembling voice.
“Well...we have to do some lousy stuff, Vicki. We need to...you know...pick out a casket and plan the memorial with Andrew...and order some flowers and ....all that grown-up junk...”
Vicki smiled at his awkward thoughtfulness, trying to play the role of oldest son. Sometimes his tenderness just overwhelmed her. It moved her to know how hard he was trying to be strong and responsible, things that did not come easy to him. At times like this she realized how soft-hearted he was with those he loved and how much her weird little brother loved her.
“I thought we’d be together forever, Todd. He was such a fine man...so full of energy and humor and love,” she said as the tears began to roll down her face and Todd looked around for a tissue. He grabbed a box from the desk and held them out to her as she took them and wiped her eyes.
“He called me Blondie! It’s silly, I know, but...nobody ever called the great and venerable Victoria Lord Blondie before.”
“Hey...you know...I can call you...uh...Blondie if it makes you feel better...”
Vicki started laughing softly at his comment as she shook her head. It was the first time she’d laughed since Ben was killed and it sounded strange to her, the sound of her own guilty laughter.
“No...that’s okay, Todd. Thanks for the offer but...it wouldn’t be quite the same.”
Todd nodded and took her hand again.
“I loved him so much. He made me feel...young again...you know? It’s so hard to find love, Todd....I mean real love. We can be happy with different people, have a family...have a life...but now and then you find someone who you feel so connected to...and suddenly...you feel like your not alone anymore...like your soul has found its companion. You feel complete. Do you know what I mean, Todd?”
Todd stared at her and thought of Tea. Vicki had lost her love while he had found his, one, perhaps, at the expense of the other.
“Yeah...I think I know what you mean.”
“Now...I just feel alone again. I’m all alone again, Todd,” she said as the tears began to flow again.
“You’re not alone, Vicki. You have Jess, and Joey and Kevin...they all love you. And...uh...you know....me too,” he said, looking away.
“I know...I have a wonderful family...but it’s not the same, Todd. You’re children they grow up and start their own lives...but Ben and I we were suppose to be together forever...we were partners...we had so many plans.”
Vicki got up and stood by the window.
“Everything looks so different now...so drab and dreary. It‘s like the light has gone out in my world.”
“It’ll get better,” said Todd, standing up and putting his hand on her shoulder.
“I don’t know, Todd. You know I’ve been through a lot in my life...so much pain...so much abuse...so much loss...but I thought it was over. I foolishly thought that God had given Ben to me as some sort of reward for all the pain he put me through. Now I see I’m being punished for my hubris. I just don’t know if I can take this. I don’t know if I have anything left to fight with...Ben was my strength.”
“Hey...you and me...nothing can keep us down. You survived Victor Lord and I survived Peter Manning, the two darkest devils that ever lived. After what they did to us, Vicki, we can make it through anything...with or without God‘s help.”
Vicki was surprised by his remarks. It was the first time he even hinted at the sexual abuse from his father and she nodded quietly letting him know she understood his meaning as he looked away from her anxiously.
Vicki smiled at him and took him into her arms, embracing and comforting him in return, like two soldiers happy to be alive on the battlefield after a long, treacherous war. When Vicki pulled away she touched his cheek affectionately.
“It’s too bad your mother wasn’t around to see you now, Todd. I think you would have made a fine son.”
Todd stared at her, his eyes growing misty at his sister’s strange musings before looking away.
“Yeah...her fine son...the gang-rapist,” he said quietly.
“That’s not who you are, Todd, not any more...whether you like it or not. You have goodness in you...”
“Let’s drop it, okay? How about you get dressed and I’ll get Jesse to make you some breakfast and we’ll go and do that stuff we have to do...okay?”
Vicki sighed deeply and nodded her head.
Todd headed for the door.
“I’m glad you’re here, Todd. I’m glad you’re with me. I don’t think anyone understands me as well as you.
“Hey...we’re blood, right? Lord blood. We gotta look out for each other.”
Vicki smiled sadly and nodded before Todd went out the door leaving her alone in the bedroom she had shared with her beloved Ben. Her tears fell quickly as she forced herself to get dressed, and go on.
to be continued...
2002 Copyright by Trog
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