| UNFINISHED BUSINESS BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 8 |
Todd: You didn't do anything, Delgado. It wasn't your fault. I can't give you an answer because I don't know why. All this time later, I still don't have a clue. You were right, I did mean the words I said. I did want to marry you again. I wanted to make love to you. You didn't do anything to deserve what I did to you. I needed to get out so I did.
[Tea stares at his back while he stares at the fire in front of him.]
Tea: What about now?
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[Todd finally turns and looks toward Tea again.]
Tea: With your new relationship...or relationships... Is it different? Is it okay for you now?
Todd: Okay?
Tea: Whatever it was that wasn't okay with me, have you found someone that it's okay with?
Todd: Look, Tea...
Tea: Never mind, Todd. It's none of my business.
Todd: You are my wife.
Tea: That's a technicality. And, now that we're speaking again, it's one we should do something to rectify.
Todd: Are you sure you don't want to wait longer on that? We don't want people to think we take this marrying thing lightly, do we?
Tea: Three marriages and three divorces in just over three years. I don't know how anyone could misconstrue that as taking marriage lightly.
Todd: Tea, seriously...
Tea: Seriously, Todd, I won't try to hold onto you. If you've found happiness, or a reasonable facsimile, I'm glad. You deserve something more than how miserable you were when we were together.
Todd: It wasn't because I was with you. You just caught me at a miserable time in my life...while I was still alive.
Tea: Well, now you don't have to be miserable with me anymore.
Todd: I get to be miserable without you instead.
Tea: Todd, before you go.
Todd: Are you throwing me out already? We haven't even gotten to the part where we start yelling and throwing things.
Tea: I don't want to fight with you. I wanted this to be... I don't know what I wanted, or what I expected, but overall I think this was a good idea. We needed to discuss certain things. There's one more thing that we really should discuss before we put our past relationship to rest permanently.
Todd: What?
Tea: Something that I need to tell you. Something that I should have told you long before now but I didn't...I couldn't.
[Tea stands up and walks toward the patio doors and looks out at the darkness. Even at a distance and without very much light, Todd can tell that Tea's body language is different. He can sense her sadness. He has a tremendous urge to stop her from telling him whatever it is that clearly upsets her to talk about.]
Todd: It is late. I could go. We could do this again sometime...maybe soon. You could be the one to cook this time. I get to okay whatever you're going to cook first, though, since I've eaten some of your stuff before and I'm lucky to still be alive.
[Tea looks down. Her arms tighten around the front of her body as she gives herself a hug. Todd knows that if he stays something horrible will happen. He can sense it. He knows that he needs to leave immediately.
Several minutes of silence pass as neither of them move, each dreading what's to come but only Tea knowing why.]
Tea: I was pregnant.
[Tea's voice is so low, Todd almost asks her to repeat her words, but he doesn't. He knows that he heard her correctly, but his stomach drops at that realization.
Several more minutes pass as they each stand alone in their own agony.]
Todd: With R.J.'s kid?
Tea: No.
Todd: Andrew's?
Tea: No.
Todd (disgust clear in his voice): Kevin's?
Tea: Yours.
Todd: What?
Tea: I was pregnant.
Todd: You was? I mean, you were? You're not anymore?
Tea: No.
Todd: You didn't want it?
[Tea almost bursts into tears but she controls herself and doesn't allow it.]
Tea: That's not what happened?
Todd: Well, what did happen? Are you sure you were...
[Todd isn't able to say the word. His brain is still trying to believe what she's telling him.]
Tea: I was definitely pregnant. I definitely had a...
[It takes Tea several moments to say the word out loud.]
Tea: ...miscarriage.
Todd: How?
Tea: How did I get pregnant? Or, how did I miscarry?
Todd: Yeah. How?
Tea: I got pregnant on our wedding night, obviously.
Todd: Are you sure it wasn't earlier, maybe with someone else?
Tea: I wasn't very far along when it happened. I didn't even know I was pregnant.
Todd: Then what happened? How did you find out?
Tea: I had some pain. I was with my grandmother at the time. She insisted that I go to the doctor. If I had been alone I probably would have just ignored it. But, she insisted, so I went. I found out I was pregnant in the same moment that I found out...
[Tears come to Todd's eyes as he thinks about Tea being alone in that moment. He hates himself even more for leaving her now.]
Tea: It wasn't meant to be. That's what they told me. Sometimes these things just happened. I wanted to throw something at them for treating it like it was some normal occurrence...a minor inconvenience.
Todd: I probably would have thrown something, or slugged somebody.
[An uncomfortable silence fills the room.]
Todd: So, uh, your grandmother was there, right? You weren't there all alone?
Tea: She was with me. She insisted that I stay at her apartment for a few days after. She took care of me. She pampered me until I felt ready to leave. It wasn't until I came back here, though, that it really sunk in. I cried at the hospital. It hurt right away. It did. But, it wasn't until I came back here that I really felt the loss. At my grandmother's, I had someone fussing over me. Here, I was completely alone. I never knew how much I could mourn the loss of a life that I didn't even know existed until it was gone, but I did mourn for our child. I did.
Todd: I know you did.
[There is silence for a moment until Todd finally asks the question that Tea has been dreading.]
Todd: Why didn't you tell me, Delgado?
Tea: I didn't know where you went after you left. When I eventually found out that you had returned to Llanview, I thought about contacting you.
Todd: Why didn't you?
Tea: What would you have done, Todd? Sent me a condolence card? I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
Todd: Yeah, you did. I don't blame you.
Tea: I didn't know how to tell you. In person...in a letter... Honestly, in the beginning I hoped that you would just show up. Maybe you would regret leaving and come back without even knowing. Maybe you would somehow sense that I needed you and you would put aside whatever made you leave and you'd come back and be with me, not permanently, but just through that time. Time kept passing, though, and you didn't want to come back. When I found out that you had returned to where your life had been before me, it just seemed like a sign that I should let you go, let you get back to the life that you had always wanted before you got tangled up with me. There was nothing you could have done. My telling you would have just reminded you of a time that you obviously wanted to forget and it would have caused you pain. After everything that had happened between us, I didn't want to be the cause of anymore pain in your life.
Todd: You're not the cause of any of my pain, Tea.
Tea: I hope not. I hope that you've found a way to let go of that pain and move on.
Todd: You have to get over the idea that you're the reason for all of my misery. I was miserable long before I met you. You don't get to take the blame, or the credit, for my pain and misery.
[Silence again invades the room for several minutes. Tea continues looking out the patio doors. Todd returns to staring at the fire in the fireplace.]
Todd: Delgado? Are you okay?
Tea: I'll be fine, Todd. I've had time to deal with this. Are you okay?
[Todd turns back toward her and finds her looking at him. He feels a pressure in his chest as he looks at the sadness on her face. He steps closer to her.]
Todd: I didn't mean that. I meant, are you okay? Inside...is everything okay?
Tea: The doctors seem to think that I should be able to get pregnant again someday. I don't know if I want to, though.
Todd: Why?
Tea: It could happen again. It really has hurt, more than I knew possible. I don't know how I would handle it if it happened again. What if I'm further along? What if I know I'm pregnant the next time and I'm looking forward to having that child? What if it happens again?
Todd: You'd deal with it. You're one tough broad, Tea Delgado...Manning...Manning...Manning.
[Tea laughs for a moment before becoming serious again.]
Tea: Sometimes I don't feel very tough. I'm sorry, Todd.
Todd: For what?
Tea: Everything.
Todd: It's not your fault. It's my fault. If I had stayed...
Tea: You wouldn't have been able to do anything, Todd. It still would have happened.
Todd: Maybe it was the stress I caused you.
Tea: It wasn't stress. It wasn't what I ate or how much I slept. There was no chance for survival. I believe that. It doesn't really help much, though.
[For more than a minute, they stand close to each other, each watching the other carefully.
Todd moves a little closer to Tea. He continues to watch her face for any sign that she's repulsed by his presence, which he doesn't find. He continues moving closer until he enters her personal space. One arm goes around her body and pulls her close to him while his other hand reaches up and gently touches her cheek.
As he leans in for a kiss, he whispers her name.]
Todd: Delgado...
to be continued...
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