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| LAST CHANCE BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 31- 40 |
PREVIOUSLY...
Tea kisses Todd softly on the forehead before going back upstairs to her bedroom.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
chapter 31:
[The next morning...
Todd awakens on the couch feeling like hell. His groans of discomfort signal Tea that he's up. She's been sitting in a chair watching him sleep for a couple of hours.
Tea goes into the kitchen for a moment and comes back with a hangover remedy.]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: Stop yelling.
Tea: I'm not yelling. You have a hangover.
Todd: I do not. I wasn't drunk.
Tea: Here.
Todd: What the hell is this?
Tea: Something that will help with the hangover you don't have.
Todd: Should I ask what it is?
Tea: I wouldn't be able to tell you. It's a Delgado family secret.
Todd: And I'm no longer a Delgado.
Tea: I wasn't aware you ever thought of yourself as one to begin with.
Todd: You know what I mean. Are you sure this will work? You're not secretly trying to kill me, are you? This isn't an aphrodisiac?
Tea: I don't know why we would need one of those.
Todd: Yeah, we've done pretty good on our own.
Tea: Hurry up and finish that and take a shower or a long bath.
Todd: Baths are for girls.
Tea: Speaking of girls, You have to pick up Starr this afternoon, remember?
Todd: I remember. I'll be fine.
Tea: You better be or I'm not letting you drive.
Todd: You can't stop me.
Tea: If you look like this I will stop you or if you drink while Starr is here.
Todd: I would never hurt her, you know that.
Tea: Not intentionally.
Todd: No more booze for me until she's gone. Don't worry. (handing her back the glass she had given him) Could you get me another?
Tea: You liked it that much?
Todd: No, I feel that lousy.
Tea: Okay. Why don't you take a shower while I make you another one.
Todd: I'll do that.
[Todd goes upstairs and turns the water on as hot as he can stand it and steps into the shower. He doesn't even move for the first couple of minutes. He just lets the water spray down on his head. Tea enters Todd's bedroom while he's still in the shower and waits for him. Todd returns to his bedroom wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He quickly takes the drink from Tea and downs as much of it as he can at once.]
Tea: Are you feeling better?
Todd: Some.
Tea: Maybe you should take a nap before you go to pick up Starr.
Todd: I just woke up.
Tea: I didn't mean right now. I meant closer to the time you have to leave. You wouldn't have to worry, I would wake you up.
Todd: I'll think about it.
[With his back to Tea, Todd takes off his towel and puts on some clean underwear. Tea watches carefully. She's never actually seen Todd completely naked before. When they have sex they always keep some clothing on and they're usually in the dark except for when they had sex in the laundry room and they were kind of caught up in what they were doing so there wasn't a lot of time to look.
When Todd turns around he sees where Tea's eyes had been on his body. She quickly looks away which convinces him even more that she was in fact checking out his butt. He smiles slightly at the thought. He decides not to put anything else on and plops himself down in a chair wearing only his underwear and a slight smirk on his face.]
Tea (uncomfortable): Maybe I should go. You should get dressed.
Todd: Why would I get dressed? If I take a nap like you suggested my clothes would just get wrinkled.
Tea: Since when do you care about that?
Todd: I don't but I don't really feel like wearing anything else right now. If fact I'm not really sure that I want to wear anything.
Tea: You've become a nudist?
Todd: Would that bother you? Well, Tea? Would it bother you if I walked around the penthouse not wearing anything all day. It would certainly speed things up when we have sex. Oh, wait, that's right, we're never doing that again.
Tea: We could if you wanted to.
Todd: I thought you were so determined.
Tea: Maybe I changed my mind.
Todd: Why? Because you saw my butt?
Tea: I have to go.
[Tea starts for the door but Todd quickly rushes forward and puts his arms around her from behind.]
Todd: You didn't want to have sex with me last night because you thought I was drunk, right?
Tea: Right.
Todd: Do you still think I'm drunk?
Tea: I think you have a hangover.
Todd: Have you ever heard that sex can be a great cure for a hangover?
Tea: I thought you didn't want to do this until Starr was gone.
Todd: We can't do this while she's here but she's not here yet. Look, she's going to be here for more than a day. Do you want to wait that long?
Tea (honestly): No.
Todd: Do you want to have sex with me?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: Then let's have sex. Let's really have sex so I'll need that nap you were talking about.
Tea: Okay.
chapter 32:
[Tea and Todd both stand there for a moment scared to proceed. They're both afraid that the passion they have for the other is so overwhelming it will show. Neither wants the other to see how much being near each other matters to them.
Tea begins caressing Todd's bare arms that are still holding her tight.]
Tea: Could you loosen your grip? I want to turn around.
Todd: Why?
Tea: I want to see you.
Todd: I don't want you to see me.
Tea: Why not?
Todd: This was a bad idea. After Starr leaves, that night, you come in here like you always do and we'll have sex like we always do but right now you should go.
Tea: Why? You wanted to do this a minute ago. And, I can feel you, Todd. Your body still wants this.
Todd: Just go, Tea.
Tea: If you want me to go then why are you still holding me? Let me turn around and look at you, Todd.
Todd: No.
Tea: Why not? I've seen you before.
Todd: Not like this.
Tea: Like what?
Todd: I have scars.
Tea: So do I.
Todd: You're perfect. (quickly adding) I mean, I've never seen any scars.
Tea: I have a few on my body but most of my scars are on the inside.
Todd: I have those too.
Tea: I know you do. I've seen them. I can handle seeing the physical ones, Todd.
Todd: They're ugly.
Tea: I don't care.
Todd: I do. I don't want you to see them.
Tea: I've seen the one on your face.
Todd: That's different.
Tea: What if I promise not to look?
Todd: I don't trust you. I know you'd look.
Tea: I'll keep my eyes closed. We can be under the covers. Whatever you want.
Todd: We should just forget about this.
Tea: If that's how you feel then why won't you let me go.
[Todd doesn't have an answer. He doesn't want her to leave. He's afraid, though, of letting her stay, of revealing too much of himself to her.
While Tea waits for Todd to decide what to do, she leans her body back into his. She fears that this may be the last time she feels Todd's arms around her. She knows, likes she's always known, that any moment could be the last moment that Todd allows her to be close to him. She tries to savor it, to memorize what his arms feel like surrounding her body, what he smells like, what his breathing sounds like.]
Todd: If I let go of you will you close your eyes?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: And keep them closed until I say it's okay to open them?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: No cheating?
Tea: I promise, Todd. (closing her eyes) My eyes are closed. I trust you. Just don't let me trip or bang my knee on anything.
Todd (speaking softly into her ear): I'll protect you from all the furniture and anything else that could hurt you.
[Tea can feel tears coming to her eyes as her emotions instantly rise to the surface. She tries to hold them back though not wanting to scare Todd away or make him send her away.
After continuing to hold Tea for another minute Todd loosens his grip on her and slowly turns her body to face him. Her eyes are closed like she promised Todd they would be.
Todd touches his hand gently against the side of her face. She instantly presses her head more firmly into his hand. Needing his touch more than she's ever felt she's needed anything in her life.
Todd moves closer to her, their bodies touching as both of his hands move behind her and lift her shirt up in the back. As his hands caress her bare back Tea's body shudders noticeably.]
Todd: Did you just...?
Tea: It's okay. You can keep going.
[Todd removes his hands and steps back from Tea's body.]
Tea: Don't stop. I don't want you to stop.
Todd: What do you want?
Tea: I want you to touch me.
Todd: Where?
Tea: Everywhere.
Todd: Open your eyes.
Tea (opening her eyes): Don't stop. (tears evident in her eyes) I don't want you to ever stop, Todd. Keep touching me or let me touch you.
[Todd is silent as his mind tries to figure out what to do. It isn't just sex. She does still love him. He can see it in her eyes. He can tell that she wants more than sex. She wants him to make love to her, to hold her and caress her. She wants slow kisses and tender words. She wants him to love her. She wants him to open himself and trust her with the most fragile parts of himself.
Tea's head is down as the tears flow out. She wants to leave the room, to get away, somehow hoping that if she did the pain would stop, but she can't move. She needs Todd and she doesn't want to pretend anymore that she doesn't.
Todd gently places his hand along Tea's cheek as his thumb caresses the wetness on her face. He slowly moves his body closer to hers. When their bodies finally touch they both hold onto each other as tightly as they can as Tea continues to cry uncontrollably. Even though his eyes stay dry, Todd's heart cries right along with hers as they both pour out the pain they've been storing up for too long.
chapter 33:
[They hold each other silently for numerous minutes. As Tea's tears finally end they both pull away from each other, relieved that the pretending is over and petrified that they may have read the other person's feelings wrong. Tea takes some tissue out of her pocket and wipes her face as Todd stares at the ground.
When Tea feels more composed she looks at Todd again. He has an almost shy look on his face which Tea finds very sexy. Tea approaches him and places her hand on his bare chest. Todd is painfully reminded that he's only wearing underwear. As Tea's hand moves up his neck and into his hair her lips begin to explore his shoulders and upper chest.]
Todd: Um, Tea?
Tea: Yeah?
Todd: We have to wait.
Tea: Why?
Todd: After Starr leaves we can do what you want but not right now.
Tea: I thought you wanted to.
Todd: I do...I do want to. You want to go slow though, don't you?
Tea: Slow could be fun and certainly a change of pace for us, well, at least where sex is concerned.
Todd: We can't go slow right now. We don't have enough time.
Tea: We could go fast this time and slow another time.
Todd: If you want to go slow then we'll go slow. We'll just wait a day.
Tea: You do realize that will mean that today will be the first day that we don't have sex since we started having sex together?
Todd: You're concerned about our average?
Tea: We could make up for it in the future.
Todd: The future? So, you've given up on declaring we'll never have sex again.
Tea: I've given up on fighting it, Todd. (caressing his cheek) I don't want to fight it anymore.
Todd: Maybe I should go.
Tea: I thought you didn't have to pick up Starr until later.
Todd: I don't but I can't stay here.
Tea: Why not?
Todd: You'll keep touching me.
Tea: I could stop.
Todd: I don't trust you. I'll go but I'll be back tonight with Starr.
Tea: Will you be having dinner here?
Todd: Sure.
Tea: Good. I'll make all of Starr's favorite foods.
Todd: Okay.
Tea: Well, I'll leave you to get dressed.
Todd (looking down at his almost naked body): Okay.
[Tea starts to leave the room but turns back toward Todd.]
Tea: Todd, could you do me one favor?
Todd: Sure, I suppose...maybe...depends what it is.
Tea: Would you kiss me?
Todd: Right now?
Tea: That's what I was hoping for.
Todd: Um, okay, I guess.
[They both step closer and slowly bring their faces together. It's a gentle kiss, not about sexual gratification but purely about love.]
chapter 34:
[Todd barges into Viki's office at The Banner.]
Todd: Sis? I gotta talk to you.
Viki: Todd, I'm in the middle of a meeting.
Todd: I don't care. This is more important than your stupid newspaper.
Viki: Is this an emergency?
Todd: Yeah.
Viki: A real emergency?
Todd: Well, it is to me.
Viki: Then wait outside.
Todd: But...
Viki: Unless this is an emergency on the level of someone dying then wait outside. I'll be through here shortly and we'll talk then.
[Viki pushes Todd out of her office and continues her meeting. Later, as staff members exit Viki's office, Todd enters.]
Todd: Are you done with the things that are more important than me now?
Viki: I'm surprised you waited. This must really be important to you.
Todd: Next to my kid it's the most important thing.
Viki: If it's not about Starr then it must be about Tea.
Todd: You don't know, it could be about getting my paper back.
Viki: Are you trying to get your paper back?
Todd: Um, no. Well, sort of. You can't talk to people about that though it would ruin what Tea and I are planning. If Asa thinks that we're in this together our plans would get messed up so you have to keep your mouth shut about what Tea and I have been doing.
Viki: And what have you been doing?
Todd: You already know.
Viki: Why did you come here today, Todd?
Todd: Tea and I...something changed.
Viki: How?
Todd: Well, um...we were kind of...you know...sort of...about to...
Viki: Todd, I'm a big girl. I know all about sex. I even enjoy it myself.
Todd: Okay, I really don't want to know about that.
Viki: So, you and Tea were about to have sex...
Todd: Yeah.
Viki: What changed?
Todd: Everything. We've been having lots of sex and it's been great, really great, but suddenly it wasn't just sex anymore.
Viki: I had the feeling it wasn't just sex from the beginning.
Todd: Well, it wasn't but it was and now it definitely isn't.
Viki: What does that mean?
Todd: I think Tea loves me.
Viki: You're just now figuring that out?
Todd: Well...
Viki: Todd, if she hadn't loved you before why would she have stayed with you so long and after you put her through so much?
Todd: I don't know. I know it wasn't about the money. I knew that for sure when I watched her tear up the check.
Viki: What check?
Todd: Before I left town, when Tea was in the hospital, I left a check in her room, you know, so she'd stick around after I left. She didn't know I could see her when she opened the letter and ripped up the check so that's how I know it was real.
Viki: After everything she had been through you gave her a check?
Todd: You think that was a mistake?
Viki: You really haven't a clue, do you?
Todd: No. I never said that I did. Tea knew that going in. This is all her fault.
Viki: You said that you think she loves you, you don't know for sure?
Todd: No, well, yes, well, no, well...
Viki: Sit down, Todd. This is going to be a long afternoon.
Todd: It can't be. I have to pick up Starr soon. She's spending the night at the penthouse.
Viki: That's wonderful. Will Tea be there, too?
Todd: Yeah.
Viki: What happened that has you this worked up?
Todd: We were going to... We were starting to... I really wanted to... And, she really wanted to...
Viki: But you didn't?
Todd: No.
Viki: You couldn't?
Todd: No...I mean, yes...I mean, my body wanted to. She even mentioned that but I got kind of scared which happens sometimes but this time it was different because when I looked at her and I looked in her eyes and I could tell.
Viki: Tell what?
Todd: That she loves me. Haven't you been paying attention? Look, I knew that she had loved me before but then I blew it, right? So, when I came back... When I walked into the penthouse that first night I could see it on her face. She was actually relieved to see me. She tried to hide it right away, you know, screaming at me to get out because I was a bastard or something like that but I saw it in that first moment. It was like she was glad to know I was alive. I thought maybe she'd want me dead after what I had done to her but she was actually glad to see me, well, for the first few seconds anyway. So anyway, I knew that she loved me before but I wasn't sure if she still loved me and then we started doing this sex thing which has really been great. We had this great experience in the laundry room. Um, well, you don't really need to know about that.
Viki: I'm confused. The sex is good.
Todd: Oh, yeah!
Viki: And plentiful?
Todd (proudly): Every single day.
Viki (sarcastically): Good for you. So, now you think she loves you and you no longer want to have sex with her but before when you didn't know if she loved you then you had sex often and you were okay with it, right?
Todd: More than okay. I didn't know if I would be, you know, because of everything. When she was in front of me though and she was touching me and her body, the way it felt...um, well, you don't need to know about that either. It just happened and it was great and it didn't freak me out like I thought it would. And, once we were together we couldn't stop. She kept saying that it was the last time. Every time was the last time but now she's talking like it's okay with her if we keep doing it.
Viki: Well, if she loves you that's understandable, isn't it?
Todd: But this is different.
Viki: You could have sex with her when you thought it meant nothing to her even though it meant a great deal to you but now that you think it means something to her and it continues to mean a great deal to you, now you don't want to have sex with her anymore, is that what you're saying?
Todd: Huh?
Viki: Why don't you just go home and have this discussion with Tea?
Todd: Can't. I have to pick up Starr.
Viki: Well then after Starr's visit.
Todd: Tea's going to expect us to do something.
Viki: Well, according to you the two of you have been doing something every day now.
Todd: But this will be different. I don't think she's expecting sex.
Viki: Then what?
Todd: You know, that making love thing.
Viki: And, you haven't done that yet?
Todd: No...well, not that she knows about.
Viki: Why don't you just share your feelings with her and then do what comes naturally?
Todd: Sharing my feelings does not come naturally to me.
Viki: You're sharing your feelings right now.
Todd: That's different. They're not about you.
Viki: Do you share your feelings about me with Tea since you don't share them with me?
Todd: I have to go pick up Starr now.
Viki: We are going to have to talk about our relationship at some point.
Todd: Later.
[Todd quickly leaves Viki's office.]
chapter 35:
[Todd drives around trying to clear his head and figure out what to do about his relationship with Tea. He doesn't find any answers but instead seems to gather more questions.
Finally, the time arrives for him to pick up Starr. They go out for dessert together and then Todd takes her to the penthouse. When then enter Tea isn't in the living room ready to greet them which surprises Todd.]
Todd (yelling): Delgado? Hey, Delgado? (concerned) Are you here?
Tea (entering from the kitchen): Of course I'm here.
Starr: Tee!
[Starr and Tea hug.]
Tea (to Todd): Were you worried I wouldn't be here?
Todd: No. I just didn't smell anything cooking. I thought maybe you had to go to the store or something.
Tea: I did that earlier. I waited to start cooking dinner because I wasn't sure when you would get here.
Starr: Daddy took me out for ice cream.
Tea: Of course he did.
Starr (to Todd): Daddy, aren't you going to give it to Tee?
Todd: What?
[Starr points to a bag in Todd's hand.]
Tea: You got me something?
Todd (shoving the bag at her): Uh, yeah, here.
Starr: It's your favorite kind of ice cream. I had to tell him which kind because he couldn't remember.
Tea: I'm surprised you remembered.
Starr: I remember a lot from when we used to all live together.
Tea: Right. Well, would you like to help me with dinner like you used to?
Starr: Okay.
Tea: If you'd rather stay out here and play a game with your dad that would be okay.
Todd: We could all go into the kitchen, I suppose.
Tea: You're going to help?
Todd: I didn't say that. You both can do all the work. I'll just watch.
Tea: Oh, no you won't. We'll put you to work.
Todd: You can try.
[They all go to the kitchen. Tea gives everyone tasks. Todd ignores his and eats the food as they're preparing it. Tea finally kicks Todd out so they'll have some food left for cooking.
During dinner, everyone is enjoying themselves. Todd is teasing Starr, enjoying hearing her laughter again. Tea watches Todd with Starr, her heart melting at the obvious love between the two. Todd catches Tea numerous times looking at him with a goofy look on her face. When dinner is almost over, Starr spills her drink, half of it landing on the table and half on herself. Tea goes upstairs with Starr and when she returns downstairs she finds Todd cleaning up the mess.]
Tea: She's changing into her pajamas. (referring to the clothes in her hands) I'm just going to throw these into the washer.
[A few minutes later Tea returns.]
Tea: Are you okay?
Todd: It's no big deal. Kids spill stuff.
Tea: Yes, they do. So, why did you react the way you did?
Todd: I didn't.
Tea: Yes, you did. I saw it.
Todd: You don't know what you're talking about.
Tea: I saw your face, Todd. You had a look of panic. I know that you don't care about anything that could have been damaged by Starr's drink spilling on it.
Todd: Just leave it alone, Delgado.
Tea: Fine.
[Tea begins clearing the dishes from the table. Todd helps her. There's an uncomfortable silence for several minutes.]
Todd: Do you think Starr saw it?
Tea: Saw what?
Todd: Whatever you think you saw.
Tea: I don't think so. She didn't say anything. You could talk to me about it.
Todd: Why would I want to do that?
Tea: No reason. I'll go check on Starr. It's still early. Maybe we could play a game before she has to go to bed.
Todd: Yeah, whatever.
chapter 36:
[Todd, Starr and Tea play a board game together. Tea and Starr team up against Todd when they notice he's cheating. Starr talks Todd into letting her stay up just a little bit longer so they can finish the game...twice. Todd loses. Todd finally insists that Starr has to go to bed. He sits with her until she falls asleep.
On his way back to his bedroom, Todd stops in front of the master bedroom. The door is open and the light from the hall is enough for Todd to clearly see Tea with. He stands in the doorway for several minutes just watching her.
Tea senses a presence. When she looks toward the doorway she sees Todd standing there. When he realizes that she's awake he turns and goes to his room.
A few minutes later...
Tea (entering Todd's room): Todd?
Todd (opening his eyes and looking at her): No. Go away. We talked about this.
Tea: I know. I don't want that.
Todd: You don't? Well...good.
Tea: Did you want to talk?
Todd: When have I ever wanted to talk?
Tea: I thought maybe that's why you came to my room. (turning around to leave) I guess I was wrong.
Todd: Delgado, wait.
Tea (turning back toward Todd): Yes?
Todd: About before...
Tea: You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I think I pretty much have it figured out anyway.
Todd: You do?
Tea: It was about your childhood...about your father.
Todd: Yeah, maybe.
Tea: When you spilled something you were punished, right?
Todd: I was always punished whether I did anything or not.
[Tea moves further into the room and sits at the foot of the bed.]
Tea: Were meals difficult?
Todd: Everything was difficult.
Tea: What would happen if you spilled your drink?
Todd: Whatever...whatever he felt like doing to me that time. It always changed. Everything was always changing.
Tea: What do you mean?
Todd: The rules changed a lot. He had rules for everything but he would change them to whatever he wanted on that day and usually it was whatever I hadn't done. Meals...meals had special rules. Some were always the same. Like, the meal started when he sat down and it ended when he got up. Even if you weren't finished, it didn't matter, you couldn't eat anymore after he was done. Sometimes he would get upset that I left too much food on my plate. Sometimes he would get upset that I ate too much. He would get upset if I looked at him or he would get upset that I wasn't looking at him. I could never get it right. I knew to be really careful not to drop or spill anything. Sometimes it would happen though. He would get angry. Even if he was the one who spilled something he would get angry and blame me. The punishment would change, too.
Tea: Like what?
Todd: Sometimes I would have to clean it up.
Tea: Not with a towel?
Todd: No. He would then get upset if I ended up with anything on my face or on my clothes. So, I had to try to lick it all up without getting any of it on me. It's not that easy to do. I don't know why I reacted that way before. It's been so many years.
Tea: But the memories are still there.
Todd: Unfortunately. Starr, though...Starr will never have those kinds of memories.
Tea: No, she won't.
[Tea moves further up the bed and sits down again.]
Tea: Todd...
Todd: You should go.
Tea: I will.
[Tea slowly moves her hand toward his face and gently touches his cheek.]
Tea: Would it be okay if... Would you mind if we...
Todd: What?
Tea: Could we kiss goodnight?
Todd: You want to?
Tea: Very much.
Todd: That's it? Then you'll leave?
Tea: Yeah, I'll leave.
Todd: Okay...I guess.
[Tea moves a little closer to Todd and leans over as she brings her face closer to his. Her hand is in his hair at the back of his head. Their lips touch very briefly. Neither moves their head away. They kiss again, this time a longer kiss. Todd places his hand on Tea's back as she leans more heavily toward him. They kiss again...and again.
They're still kissing when they hear Starr screaming from her bedroom.]
Starr: Daddy? Daddy, where are you? Daddy?
[Todd immediately jumps off the bed and rushes to Starr's bedroom. Tea quickly follows him.]
chapter 37:
Todd (rushing into Starr's bedroom): Starr, are you okay? What happened?
Starr: I had a bad dream.
[As Todd sits down on the side of Starr's bed she instantly sits up and hugs him tightly.]
Todd: It's okay. It was just a dream.
[Todd continues to hold Starr for a couple more minutes until she seems calmer.]
Todd: What was the dream about?
Starr: I don't know.
Todd: You don't remember?
Starr: Not really.
Todd: Well, it's over now. You can go back to sleep.
Starr: No. I'm never sleeping again.
Todd: You have to sleep.
Starr: No!
Tea: Todd, why don't you go and get Starr a glass of water.
Todd (to Starr): Are you thirsty?
Starr: No.
Todd (to Tea): She's not thirsty.
Tea: Well, I am. Go get me one.
Todd: You can get it yourself.
Tea: Todd...
[Todd can tell from the look that Tea's giving him that she wants him to leave the room.]
Todd: Okay, fine.
[Todd leaves the room and Tea takes his place sitting next to Starr.]
Tea: So, you don't remember your dream?
Starr: No.
Tea: Not even a little bit? (Starr doesn't respond) Maybe I'm wrong but I have a feeling that you do remember your dream but that you didn't want to tell your dad about it. Am I right?
Starr: I don't know.
Tea: Do you think it would hurt him if he knew what you were dreaming about?
Starr: I don't want him to be sad anymore. He always looks so sad even when he tries not to.
Tea: I know he does but he isn't sad because of you. You make him happier than anything else in this world.
Starr: Really?
Tea: Really.
Starr: I don't want him to leave again.
Tea: Oh, sweetie, I know for a fact that he doesn't want to leave you again either.
Starr: Then why did he leave me before?
Tea: Have you talked to your dad about this?
Starr: No, not really. He said he was sorry.
Tea: Did you believe him?
Starr: Yes. I just don't know why he left and stayed away so long.
Tea: I know it wasn't because he wanted to. It hurts him so much not to be with you. You know how much it hurt you not to be with him?
Starr: Yes.
Tea: It hurt your dad even more...a whole lot more.
Starr: Really?
Tea: Oh, absolutely. He loves you more than he loves anyone else. The only reason he would spend so much time away from you is if he didn't have a choice.
Starr: Tee?
Tea: Yes?
Starr: Did you miss Daddy when he was away, too?
Tea (quietly): Very much.
Starr: Were you mad at him for leaving?
Tea: Yes.
Starr: Are you still mad?
Tea: I suppose, a little, but not as much as I was before. I'm really glad that he came back, especially for you.
Starr: Are you still married to my daddy?
Tea: No, not anymore.
Starr: Don't you love him anymore?
[Todd stands in the hall listening. As much as he wants to hear Tea's answer to Starr's question he isn't sure if he can handle the answer right now.]
Todd (interrupting): Here's your water.
[Tea takes the glass from him. She can tell from the look on his face that he's been listening to her conversation with Starr.]
Tea: Well, I'll leave you two alone.
Starr: No. I don't want you to go.
Tea: I'll just be down the hall, okay? I'll see you in the morning.
Starr: Okay.
Tea: Would you like for me to wait to make breakfast until you're awake? We could make it together.
Starr: Can we make Daddy's favorite foods like we made mine for dinner?
Tea: Of course. I'm sure Daddy would love that. (to Todd) Wouldn't you, Daddy?
Todd: Daddy may not be hungry in the morning.
Tea: Oh, I think he will be. (leaning down and kissing Starr on the forehead) Good night.
Starr: Good night, Tee.
[Tea leaves Starr's room. Todd sits down on the bed not really sure what to say or do.]
Todd: Do you want me to read you a story or something?
Starr: I'm too old for bedtime stories.
Todd: Well, I'm not. Why don't you tell me one.
[Todd sits with Starr until she falls asleep again. On his way back to his room he stops by the master bedroom again. This time the door is closed. Todd gently knocks.
Tea hears a slight noise and looks toward the door. She can see Todd's shadow on the other side of the door. She quickly gets out of bed.]
Tea (as she opens the door): Is she asleep?
Todd: Yeah, finally. It was my fault she was awake.
Tea: Kids have nightmares.
Todd: Yeah, especially when their parents abandon them.
Tea: You came back.
Todd: That doesn't make up for leaving her.
Tea: She'll be okay, Todd. Just keep telling her, and showing her, that you love her and she'll be okay.
Todd: Yeah. Um, you know, thanks for what you did, for what you said. You didn't have to do that.
Tea: Yes, I did. She's my family too.
Todd (touched): Right. Well, um, I'll go back to my room. (looking into the bedroom behind Tea) You know, this used to be my room instead of that tiny box I'm sleeping in now.
Tea: Maybe we could change the bedroom situation, if you really wanted to.
Todd: Um, I don't know, maybe. We can talk about that another time.
Tea: Anytime.
Todd: Right. So, um, good night.
Tea: Good night, Todd.
[Todd steps forward and tenderly kisses Tea on the mouth before quickly retreating back to the other bedroom.]
chapter 38:
[The next morning...
Todd awakens surprised that he actually slept. He's even more surprised when he looks at the clock and sees how late it is. He goes to Starr's room to check on her but finds it empty. He notices that the master bedroom is also empty. He makes his way downstairs and hears noise coming from the kitchen. As he approaches he can hear Tea and Starr talking and laughing together. He stays out of sight and secretly listens to them, enjoying the sound of his family finally happy and together again.
Minutes later...
Tea enters the living room on her way upstairs and is surprised to find Todd leaning against the large window. She can tell that he's in a pensive mood. She watches him silently for more than a minute before cautiously approaching him.]
Tea: Todd?
[Todd is visibly startled by the sound of her voice breaking the silence.]
Tea: Are you okay?
Todd: Yeah.
Tea (gently touching his face): Are you sure?
Todd (shrugging her touch off): Don't.
Tea: Why not?
Todd: You can't do that when my kid is here, you know that.
Tea: We can't do the things we've been doing upstairs but this...(lightly caressing his face again)...we haven't done much of this since you've been back. Maybe we should.
Todd: What's the point?
Tea: The point is that it feels good, doesn't it? Doesn't it, Todd?
Todd: Is the grub done?
Tea: Yes. I was just coming upstairs to see if you were awake. I looked in on you earlier. You were asleep.
Todd: You're spying on me when I'm asleep?
[As scary as it is, Tea decides to take a chance and reveal more to Todd.]
Tea: I've watched you sleep almost every morning.
Todd: Why?
Tea: I don't know. (being honest with herself and with Todd) I...I need to see that you're still here.
Todd: So, you think that I'm going to take off again just like Starr does?
Tea: Starr will get through this. You'll help her get through this.
Todd: And you?
Tea: I'll help her too, if I can.
Todd: That's not what I meant.
Tea: What did you mean?
Todd (stepping away from Tea and gesturing toward the kitchen): So, you just left Starr in there alone?
Tea: She's putting the finishing touches on the table. She wants everything to be perfect for you.
Todd: I'm not very hungry.
Tea: Well, eat anyway.
Todd: I'll try.
[The Mannings share breakfast together. Later, Todd and Starr leave and spend the day together. Tea expects them to return for dinner before Starr's visit officially ends.
As the evening slowly passes Tea tries to make excuses for why they're late. When the time that Starr had to be back by passes and there's no phone call from Blair, Tea assumes that Todd must have taken Starr home. She goes upstairs and packs the things Starr had brought for the previous night's visit. She takes the small suitcase downstairs and places it by the door.
Tea tries desperately not to think too hard about Todd's conspicuous absence. The later it gets, the harder it becomes for Tea to ignore the pain that is slowly overtaking her heart.]
chapter 39:
[When Todd left the penthouse with Starr he had every intention of returning for dinner. It was what he wanted...a little more time to be with his family. When it came time to return, though, he couldn't do it. He took Starr to her favorite fast food restaurant and then took her home, convincing Starr that she should leave the things she had brought to the penthouse so they'd be there for her next visit.
After leaving Starr, Todd drove around for a while, he walked on the docks, he screamed into the vacant night. He thought about Tea waiting at home. He thought about the look on her face when she realized he wasn't coming back. He thought about the tears falling down her cheeks. He thought about his wife.
Even though they are no longer legally married he can't stop thinking about her as his wife...and now she's also his lover. Love -- he hates that word. He hates himself for allowing that feeling inside of him again...for being too weak to fight it. He hates Tea for making him feel, for making him want something more. Why couldn't she just leave things the way they were? Why did she have to reveal that she loves him...okay, she hasn't said it yet but he knows. He knows that's what he sees in her eyes. He also knows that he can't go home...not with Tea there...not knowing what would happen. No, that would be a mistake. Making love would be a huge mistake.
At Llanfair...
Hours after falling asleep Viki awakens to the sound of her doorbell ringing incessantly.]
Viki (opening the front door): Todd? What are you doing here at this time of night?
Todd (storming past her): You wanted to talk, right? Let's talk.
Viki (following him into the kitchen): What is going on, Todd?
Todd: I didn't eat much dinner. You mind if I get a snack?
Viki: No, of course not. Why are you here? Why aren't you at home...in bed...with Tea?
Todd: Look, if you want me to stay you have to talk about something else.
Viki: Why?
Todd: I thought you had a bunch of questions for me.
Viki: I do.
Todd: Then hurry up before I get bored.
Viki: Did things not work out with Tea?
Todd: Shut up about Tea.
Viki: Did you have a fight?
Todd: Do you know what shut up means?
Viki: Did you tell her how you feel about her?
Todd (picking up the sandwich he made for himself and turning toward the door): I'm leaving.
Viki: Wait.
Todd: I was willing to let you ask me stuff about when I was gone and I was even considering giving you a few answers that were the truth but I'm not going to stay here if you're just going to ask me about...about...her.
Viki: Tea.
Todd: I remember her name.
Viki: Do you remember how it felt when you were without her?
Todd: Of course.
Viki: Have you thought that maybe she felt that way being without you while you were gone?
Todd: She wasn't alone...thanks to you. What the hell am I doing here? You don't care about me and Tea.
Viki: I care about you. I want you to be happy.
Todd: Then I have to be without Tea.
Viki: Why?
Todd: Because she doesn't deserve me. She could have so much better.
Viki: Why don't you let her decide that.
Todd: Because...
Viki: Why?
Todd: She'll choose me.
Viki: You may not believe this but that's a good thing.
Todd: Not for her it isn't.
Viki: So, you want to end your relationship with her to protect her from yourself, is that it?
Todd: Basically.
Viki: Did you tell her that tonight?
Todd: No, I haven't been home yet.
Viki: Then go home and tell Tea.
Todd: Tell her what?
Viki: If you were smart you would tell her that you love her but since it's you I assume you'll tell her to get out.
Todd: She refuses to leave. She seems to think the penthouse is hers now.
Viki: Should I prepare a bedroom for you?
Todd: That would be great. I didn't want to go home anyway.
Viki: You have to.
Todd: No, I don't. I'll stay here.
Viki: No, you won't.
Todd: You just said...
Viki: Go home and settle things with Tea one way or the other first. After that, you're welcome to stay here, if you choose. It would give us plenty of time to talk and catch up on what each of us were doing while you were away.
Todd: Are you trying to get me to stick it out with Tea?
Viki: I want you to be happy, Todd. If Tea makes you happy then make it work.
[Todd picks up the remainder of his sandwich and silently leaves Viki's house.]
chapter 40:
[Todd finally returns to the penthouse...eight hours late for dinner. As he enters he notices Starr's little suitcase by the door. As he steps into the living room he sees Tea standing at the window.]
Todd: You're awake.
Tea: You're late. (looking at Todd) You're not dead. Good.
[As Tea turns her attention back to the darkened view, Todd can feel how much pain she's in. He wants to stop it. He knows that he could make her pain end if he tells her how he feels about her and explains that he stayed away because he was scared.]
Todd: You didn't go to any trouble for dinner, did you?
Tea: No. I was waiting for you to come home before I started cooking. I thought that would be a good idea since I wasn't sure exactly when you'd be home. I had no idea it would end up being a question of if you came home.
Todd: Well, I did. I'm here.
Tea: Starr's things are by the door.
Todd: I saw that. She's going to keep that stuff here so she'll have it for the next visit. Um, it's late. I'm going to go upstairs, okay?
Tea: Do whatever you want...you always do.
[Todd walks up a couple of steps before turning back toward Tea.]
Todd: Are you going to bed?
Tea: Not yet.
Todd: Aren't you tired?
Tea: I'm very tired.
[Todd senses that Tea isn't referring to sleep. He watches her with her back to him for several moments. He knows that she's feeling an overwhelming amount of pain because of him. He wishes that he could stop her pain without having to risk everything but he knows that he can't.]
Todd: Tea?
Tea: What?
Todd (closing his eyes and trying to force himself to just do it): Did you...uh...did you...maybe...want to...did you want to come up with me?
[Tea closes her eyes as her emotions threaten to overtake her. All night she has forced herself, no matter how much pain she was in, not to cry. Now she's even more determined not to allow the tears to come.]
Tea: I'm not interested.
Todd: You're not?
Tea: I don't need, or want, pity sex.
Todd: That...that isn't what I was thinking about.
Tea: If you don't want sex then what do you want? Do you want me to gather your laundry, change the sheets on your bed, fluff your damn pillow, what?
Todd: No.
Tea: Then what?
Todd: I thought... Just come upstairs.
Tea: Just go to hell.
Todd: Okay, but first come upstairs.
[Tea hesitates. She wants to be with him but she wants more than just meaningless sex. She wants Todd to love her.
Todd walks back down the steps and approaches Tea. She jumps slightly when his hand touches the back of her head. It's an awkward touch but it does feel sincere. Todd's hand moves across Tea's neck, down her back and under her shirt.]
Todd (as he caresses her bare back): Come upstairs with me.
Tea (wanting desperately to give in to Todd's touch): I don't know.
Todd: Viki was telling me to tell you so I'm telling you. (as his hand under her shirt moves around to the front as he presses his chest against her back) I want you to come upstairs with me. We'll go slow and do that kissing thing and whatever else you want. (whispering with his lips next to her ear) I want you, Tea. I really want to be with you tonight. Come upstairs with me.
to be continued...
