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| IN SICKNESS BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 71 - 75 |
Todd (to Viki): Three weeks from today or forget it.
Viki (confused): Fine.
Todd: And it's gotta be at your house. I don't want people touching my stuff.
Viki: That would be fine.
Todd: You can even invite people I hate. (looking at Tea) I have a feeling I'm going to be in a good mood that day.
****
chapter 71
[Three weeks later...
Tea, Todd and Starr arrive at Llanfair for the party Viki insisted on throwing for the Mannings.]
Todd (entering Viki's home): Can we make this quick?
Viki: It's a party, Todd. Have fun.
Todd: I don't do fun.
Starr (looking up at her father): Can I go talk to River?
Todd (looking into the living room and seeing River and Andrew): Um, sure.
[Starr goes into the living room.]
Todd (to Viki about Andrew): What's he doing here?
Viki: He brought River. I thought Starr might enjoy having him here.
Tea: Todd, Andrew was a good friend to me when I was sick. You know that.
Todd: Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to see him.
Tea: Well, then look away. I'm going to go say hello to him.
[Tea enters the living room. Todd stares at her and Andrew as they briefly embrace and begin talking.]
Viki (looking at Todd's expression): Should I gather all the sharp objects?
Todd: And then hand them to me as weapons?
Viki: Todd...
Todd: Don't worry. I won't mess up this evening for Tea...not tonight.
Viki: Is there something special about tonight?
Todd: We're having a party.
[Todd walks off leaving Viki alone in the foyer.
As the evening progresses, Viki enters the kitchen and finds Todd with his head in the refrigerator.]
Viki: I was wondering where you were hiding? Are you hungry?
Todd: No.
Viki: Then why are you in the refrigerator?
Todd: I was hot.
Viki: I could fix you something else if you don't like what the caterers have to offer?
Todd: Okay.
Viki: What would you like?
Todd: Peanut butter and jelly. (seeing her expression) What? It's what I want.
Viki: I think I can manage that.
Todd: And not on any of that weird bread. I want normal bread.
Viki: I'll see if I can find some normal bread. (as she prepares Todd's snack) So, why are you hiding from your own party?
Todd: I thought it would go better if, you know, I wasn't there.
Viki: Well, Tea seems to be enjoying herself except for the numerous times she's asked me if I've seen you.
Todd: Does she think I split?
Viki: No, I think she thinks you're hiding.
Todd: She's better at this talking to people thing than I am.
Viki: I think you're fine when it's people you care about.
Todd: Yeah, but some of those people I don't care about.
Viki: Like Andrew?
Todd: I'm not jealous.
Viki: I didn't say you were.
Todd: But you thought it.
Viki: Are you?
Todd: Should I be?
Viki: Is that a serious question?
Todd: No. I know Tea isn't gonna do stuff with him again. I still don't have to like him though.
Viki (placing Todd's snack in front of him): Tea mentioned that Andrew helped her when she was sick. I wasn't aware that he had been visiting her.
Todd: He wasn't. They would talk on the phone sometimes. She had all this stuff she was thinking about, you know...religion...death...what comes after death...that kind of stuff. Stuff Andrew knows more about than I do.
Viki: And you were okay with this?
Todd: You think I shouldn't have been?
Viki: No, of course not.
Todd: Look, I know how Tea feels about me. I know she doesn't feel that way for him. I wasn't really very good talking about the death thing so she talked to him. As long as Tea isn't hanging all over him or expecting me to have dinner with him all the time I can handle it if she's friends with him.
[Viki places her hand on the side of his face and gets teary eyed.]
Todd (with his mouth full): What?
Viki: I'm very proud of you.
Todd (looking down at his sandwich): Whatever.
[In the living room...]
Carlotta: Is Todd still here? I've hardly seen him all evening.
Tea: Neither have I. He'll probably make an appearance when it's time to leave.
Carlotta: I thought he was improving.
Tea: He is. He just doesn't like crowds and chit chat.
Carlotta: I had noticed his lack of fondness for small talk.
Tea: He's actually quite a conversationalist. It just has to be a topic he cares about and people he wants to speak to.
Carlotta: As long as you're one of those people.
[Todd enters the living room and quickly approaches Tea.]
Todd: Are you ready to go?
Tea: The party's not over yet.
Todd: Oh, okay. I'll just continue looking around Viki's house then.
Tea (grabbing his arm before he can wander off again): Wait. I wanted to talk to you about something.
Carlotta: I'll leave you two alone.
[Carlotta rejoins the other party guests.]
Todd (to Tea): What?
Tea: Starr wants to dance with you.
Todd: Why?
Tea: Because you're her daddy. That's why.
Todd: Next time she's at the house I'll dance with her.
Tea: I think she was hoping for tonight.
Todd: Are you sure?
Tea: That's what she told me. If it's too uncomfortable for you then don't do it.
Todd: I hate this.
[Todd leaves Tea and approaches Joey.]
Todd: Kid?
Joey: I'm not a kid.
Todd: Yeah. Whatever. Look, do you have some music you could play? You know, like the kind people dance to. Maybe something from one of those stupid cartoon movies that make chicks cry.
Joey: Well, Tea might like...
Todd: It's not for Tea. It's for Starr.
Joey: Oh, okay. I'll see what I can do.
Todd (dreading it): Great.
[Todd returns to where he left Tea. Kevin is now talking to her.]
Todd (to Kevin): Go away.
[Kevin quickly leaves.]
Todd: Wow! Viki must have really threatened him. Either that or he's afraid that you and I will beat him up again.
Tea: Actually, he was apologizing for that incident.
Todd: He didn't apologize to me.
Tea: Do you want him to?
Todd: No. (gesturing toward Joey) Um, the kid is gonna do the music thing.
Tea (smiling): Starr will be happy.
Todd: I won't.
Tea (gently caressing his face): You'll be making your daughter's night.
Todd: And ruining mine. It's okay. Her night is more important than mine is.
Tea: I'll reward you when we get home.
Todd: Maybe we should leave now.
Tea: Go dance with your daughter.
Todd: Right.
[Todd approaches Starr who is sitting with Jessica.]
Todd (kneeling down next to Starr): Um, Starr?
Starr: Yes, Daddy?
Todd (holding his hand out to her): Would you like to dance?
Starr: But there's no music.
Todd: There will be. If you don't want to that's okay. We don't have to.
Starr: I want to. You're my favorite person to dance with.
Todd (leaning in and whispering): You're my favorite too but don't tell Tee that, okay?
Starr (whispering): Okay.
[Joey starts the music. From where Tea is standing she can see the dread on Todd's face that he's trying to hide from Starr.]
Todd: Do you want me to carry you while we dance?
Starr: I want to be on the ground because I want to twirl around while we dance. I like that.
Todd: Of course you do.
[They move into a more open space and dance with Starr twirling numerous times and giggling each time. Everyone watches. Todd tries to forget about everyone else and just enjoys watching his daughter enjoy herself and hearing her laugh. After the song ends Todd kneels down in front of Starr and hugs her.]
Tea: Hey, you two, you looked great.
[Todd growls as he stands up.]
Starr: Daddy, I think you should dance with Tee now.
Tea (seeing the look of displeasure on Todd's face): Sweetie, that's okay. I think your dad is probably all danced out for the evening.
Starr: You want to dance with Tee, don't you, Daddy?
Todd: Uh...
Tea: When your daddy and I get home we'll share a dance, okay? But I think your dad needs some rest now after the workout you just gave him.
Starr: Okay.
Todd: Tee...I mean, Tea, can I talk to you for a minute...alone.
Tea: Sure.
[Starr goes back to sitting with Jessica.]
Todd: I want to tell her.
Tea: Now?
Todd: Yeah. I think she should know.
Tea: Okay.
Todd: We have to do it in private though.
Tea: Of course.
Todd (loudly): Everyone stays in here. No one leaves.
Kevin: Are you taking us hostage?
Viki: Kevin!
Kevin: What? He's done it before.
Todd (approaching Kevin and speaking quietly so Starr won't hear him): You can leave...as long as you're going to hell. (speaking to everyone gathered) My wife and I have to discuss something important with my kid so nobody opens this door and nobody eavesdrops. It's none of your business.
Tea: Todd.
Todd: Well, it isn't. Not yet, anyway.
Tea (ushering Starr out into the foyer): Come on, Sweetie.
[Todd closes the doors after all three of them are in the foyer.]
Starr (scared): Did I do something bad?
Tea: No, of course not.
[Tea and Starr sit on the stairs as Todd kneels down in front of them.]
Todd: You could never do anything bad.
Starr: Then what do you want to talk to me about?
****
chapter 72
[Todd is uncertain how to approach this particular subject with Starr.]
Todd: Well...um...you see...uh...well...
Tea: Do you need some help?
Todd: I can do this. (to Starr) Okay. You know that I love you, right?
Starr: Yes.
Todd: And I love Tee over there. You know that too, right?
Starr: Yes.
Todd: It's a different kind of love though. You see, when adults love each other sometimes they do things together that lead to other things and those other things can be a really great thing. Do you see what I'm saying?
Starr: No.
[Todd looks at Tea.]
Tea (smiling): I'm confused too.
Todd (to Tea): You do it.
Tea (turning her body more toward Starr): Do you remember a long time ago you asked me if your daddy and I were going to have any kids so you'd have somebody to play with?
Starr: Yeah. How many are you having?
Tea: Just one...that we know of.
[Todd gives Tea a disapproving look. Tea smiles back at him.]
Starr: When can I play with her?
Tea: Well, the baby won't be born for about eight months. Right now it needs to grow inside of me.
Todd: Yeah, and when Tee gets really fat you can touch her stomach and feel the baby moving around. It's really neat. You'll like it.
Starr: So, in eight months I'll have a sister?
Todd: It might not be a girl.
Starr: If it won't be a sister then I don't want it.
Todd: Why don't you want a brother?
Starr: Boys are mean and they do weird things.
Todd: Well, I'm a boy and you like me.
Starr: You're not a boy, you're a daddy.
[Todd looks confused.]
Tea (to Starr): Sweetie, I'm sure you'll love the baby whether it's a boy or a girl. I know the baby is going to love you a lot.
Starr (to Todd): Daddy, make it a girl.
[Todd looks at Tea, uncertain what to do.]
Tea: The baby already is either a boy or a girl. We don't know yet which it is but we do know that we can't change it. We'll love the baby no matter what.
Todd: Look, Starr, I understand how you feel about boys. Boys are icky but you'll be teaching this kid stuff right from the beginning of his life so if it's a boy you can teach him not to be so icky, okay?
Starr: Okay.
Todd (relieved): Okay.
Tea: Well, I'm glad we have that settled.
Starr: Can I tell River?
Todd: I thought you didn't like boys because they're weird. Why do you want to talk to him?
Starr: He's not as mean as the other boys.
Todd: Oh.
Starr: Can I tell him?
Tea: Why don't we all go back into the other room and tell everyone.
Todd: Are you sure? So far we're the only one's who know about this.
Starr: Am I the first person you told?
Todd: The very first. (moving a little closer) Starr, you know this new kid isn't going to change anything between us, right? I'm still gonna love you as much as I do right now...maybe even more. And Tee's gonna still love you the same too.
Starr: Can I still come and stay with you sometimes?
Todd: Of course.
Starr: Do I get to keep my room?
Todd: We won't let anyone mess with your room.
Tea: What this means is that there will be another person to love who will love you.
[Todd can't stop himself from getting teary eyed.]
Starr (putting her hand on his shoulder): Daddy, don't cry. I'll love the baby even if it is a boy, I promise.
Todd (hugging Starr): This kid is going to be really lucky to have you for a big sister. I'm really lucky to have you for my kid.
Starr: I'm lucky too because you're my daddy.
[Todd hugs Starr really tight for a moment before releasing her from his arms. When he looks over at Tea she's openly crying.]
Todd: Oh, great!
Tea: What? I'm feeling lucky too.
Todd: Starr, give your step-mother and new sibling a hug so we can go back in there and get this over with.
[Starr embraces Tea as Todd stands up and begins pacing nervously.]
Meanwhile, in the living room...
Jessica: I wonder why they wanted to talk to Starr alone.
Kevin: Maybe they're moving away.
Viki: Kevin!
Kevin: What?
[Suddenly the doors fling open. Todd, Tea and Starr all enter the room smiling, even Todd...well, sort of.]
Viki: Is everything okay?
Todd: Everything is swell. We have an announcement to make.
Kevin: I know what I'm hoping for.
Viki: Kevin, be quiet.
Carlotta (noticing Tea has tears in her eyes): Tea, is something wrong?
Tea (as the tears spill out of her eyes): No.
Todd (to Carlotta jokingly): Look what you've done.
[To everyone's shock, Todd puts his arms around Tea and holds her for a moment.]
Todd (quietly): Are you okay now? Can we hurry up and do this so people will stop staring at me?
Tea (trying to compose herself): Okay.
Carlotta (concerned): Is it bad news? Is it the cancer? Did it...
Tea (quickly interrupting): No. No, I'm fine. Everything's great. Everything is really great. It's wonderful, actually.
Todd: Well? Tell them.
Tea: Starr, why don't you make the announcement.
Starr: We're having a baby.
[Tea laughs and then starts crying again. People start moving forward offering congratulations and hugs to the Manning family. Todd manages to slip out of the room but Viki catches him in the foyer before he can completely escape and hugs him tightly.]
Viki: This is wonderful news, Todd. I'm very happy for you.
Todd: Yeah, well, you know, whatever.
Viki: I can see you're ecstatic too.
Todd: Right. Well, are we done hugging?
Viki: Fine. I'll go hug your wife and new baby.
Todd (touching her arm to stop her): Um...
Viki: Yes?
Todd: We were just telling Starr about...about the new kid and I kind of thought of something. You know, I didn't have anyone when I was a kid. I mean, this kid is going to have Starr but I didn't have anyone like that when I was a kid.
Viki (touching his face): You do now.
Todd: I know. I told Starr that this kid is going to be really lucky because it gets to have a big sister and I was thinking, you know...
Viki: I know. I love you too, Todd...very much. I wish I could have been there for you when you were young and needed someone but I'm here for you now and I'll be here for you for the rest of my life.
Todd: That will be a long time, right? Because, you know, I need a lot of help.
Viki: I've been telling you that for years.
Todd: Don't start with that therapy garbage.
Viki: I was kidding, Todd. Lighten up.
Todd: Right. Um, I have to talk to Tea now.
[Todd walks off and goes back into the living room and maneuvers Tea away from everyone else.]
Tea: What is it?
Todd: It's getting late. Starr has to go home pretty soon.
Tea: We can leave.
Todd: No. Um...
Tea: What?
Todd: I thought maybe, if it's okay with you... I thought maybe I could take Starr home alone and you could stay here. Viki seems to want to hug people. Let her hug you. You like hugging.
Tea: Sure, Todd. If you want some time alone with Starr that's okay with me.
Todd: Well, I also thought, you know, that I should probably kind of tell Blair. She's gonna find out anyway and I thought maybe it should be from me. It probably would be better if you weren't there.
Tea: That's very thoughtful, Todd.
Todd (sarcastically): Yeah, well, you know me.
Tea (caressing his cheek and speaking softly): Yes, I do.
Todd: Don't get all mushy on me again.
Tea (removing her hand from his face): Okay.
Todd: I mean, I did hug you once already tonight in front of a bunch of people.
Tea: Yes, you did. Why don't you go and take Starr home so you can get back here and we can go home.
Todd (concerned): Are you feeling okay? Do you need to lie down? Viki's got like a hundred bedrooms or something.
Tea: I'm fine. I just want to go home so I can be alone with my husband.
Todd: Oh. Okay.
[Todd leaves with Starr. The party guests leave. Viki is out of the room so Tea and Carlotta are talking alone in the living room.]
Tea: Now that we're alone I wanted to talk to you about something. I wanted to ask you for a favor, actually.
Carlotta: Of course, anything.
Tea: Well, my grandmother died and my parents are both gone and, well, Todd doesn't have any parents or grandparents either. He has Viki, though, of course. I thought maybe, if you wanted to, you could sort of step in and kind of be like a grandparent to this baby. I know it wouldn't be the same as it would be if it were one of your children having a baby but maybe...
Carlotta (interrupting): Of course. I would be honored.
Tea: Really?
Carlotta: I love you dearly. The same way I would if I had been your mother.
Tea: In some ways you have been.
Carlotta: Yes. You've certainly ignored my advice to you often enough, just like my children do.
Tea (beginning to cry): These last few months... I wouldn't have survived everything without Todd and you.
[Tea and Carlotta embrace and cry together. Todd returns and enters through the kitchen where Viki is. When they go into the living room they find Tea sitting on the sofa weeping into a handful of tissues as Carlotta tries to comfort her.]
Todd: What did you do to her?
Carlotta: It's her pregnancy hormones.
Viki: It's normal.
Todd: I know my wife. This isn't because she's got a kid in her belly. She cries like this all the time. A few weeks ago, before she was pregnant, we were watching this dog movie and she was blubbering away.
Tea (to Carlotta and Viki): Old Yeller.
Todd (sitting next to Tea on the sofa): Yeah, this is just my wife. We could name the kid after her -- call it Teardrop.
[Tea laughs as she puts her head on Todd's shoulder.]
Todd: Are you okay?
Tea: I'm fine.
Carlotta: Are you tired more now?
Tea: Some. And, I'm rushing to the bathroom all the time.
Todd: Do you have to talk about that?
Tea: My breasts are sore and I'm not sure but I think they've gotten bigger.
Todd: I really don't want to hear about this. And, yes, they are bigger.
[Tea smiles at Todd.]
Viki: Have you been having morning sickness?
Tea: Not yet. Maybe I'll get lucky and I won't have it.
Todd: Maybe I'll get lucky and you won't have it. I've already spent months watching you vomit and cleaning it up. You never said when we got married there would be vomiting.
Carlotta: When the baby comes there will also be spitting up.
Todd: Tea will be taking care of that and any other stuff coming out of the kid.
Tea: You're changing diapers, Todd.
Todd: You can't make me. Besides, we can afford to hire someone to take care of the disgusting stuff.
Tea: I don't want to hire anyone. Don't you want to be the one feeding and bathing him?
Viki: Him?
Tea: Todd's convinced it's a boy.
Todd: Well, it is. As long as we're talking about this pregnancy stuff, she's really moody.
Tea: I am not.
Todd: You yelled at me this morning.
Tea (smiling): Well, we were out of my favorite cereal. Besides, I've been putting up with your moods since our first marriage so you owe me.
Todd (as Tea snuggles closer to him): Uh, maybe we should go home.
Tea: Okay.
[The Mannings say their good-byes to Carlotta and Viki and leave.]
****
chapter 73
[Todd and Tea arrive home and enter their living room.]
Todd: Are you tired?
Tea: No.
Todd: Well, you shouldn't be. You slept all the way home.
Tea: I did not. I rested my eyes briefly.
Todd: You snored.
Tea: Let's go up to the bedroom.
Todd: I thought you weren't tired?
Tea: I'm not.
Todd: We can't go up yet.
Tea: Why not?
Todd: You think I would let you lie to my kid?
Tea: What are you talking about?
Todd: You told Starr that we would dance when we got home.
Tea: Oh, yeah. I did, didn't I?
Todd: I don't really want to dance with you but we could...just so you wouldn't be a liar.
Tea: I wouldn't want to be a liar. (leading him to the other room) Come on. I get to pick the song.
Todd: Nothing sappy or I'll go ahead and let you be a liar.
[Tea picks a song and then turns to Todd.]
Tea (as the song begins playing): Does this meet with your approval?
Todd (as they begin dancing): Um, I guess it could be okay. You do know this is the last time we'll ever dance together, right?
Tea: I know no such thing, Manning.
Todd: I thought you liked me. Why would you want to put me through this again?
Tea: I love you. I want to have your arms around me all the time whether there's music or not.
Todd: Well, pretty soon my arms won't fit.
Tea: Can you wait to make fat jokes until I'm actually fat?
Todd: I'll try to hold back. You have to gain a lot of weight though since you lost so much when you were sick.
Tea: I know. I will. You never said, will you be coming with me when I visit the doctor?
Todd: Do I have to?
Tea: No.
Todd: But you want me to?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: They're not going to do embarrassing stuff in front of me, are they?
Tea: You do realize that when I give birth I won't be fully clothed, right?
Todd: That's okay. I'll be in the waiting room.
Tea: No, you won't. I'll need you there to help me through the pain. I want you to hold my hand.
Todd: You'll probably break my fingers from squeezing too hard.
Tea: I'll try not to.
Todd: That's reassuring.
[Tea and Todd sway together for several more seconds as the song comes to an end.]
Todd (trying to pull away from Tea): Dancing is over.
Tea (not letting him go): Wait. That didn't count. You were talking too much.
Todd: Me?
Tea (looking into his eyes): One more dance. This time no talking. Then we can go upstairs and do something else that doesn't require talking.
Todd: Watching TV?
Tea: We don't have a TV upstairs.
Todd: Oh.
Tea: One more dance?
Todd: Okay, I suppose...if I have to.
Tea (sarcastically): I love it when you're so enthusiastic.
Todd: Let's just get this over with.
[Tea picks another song and steps into Todd's personal space. They both wrap their arms around each other and move very slowly together. When the song finally ends Tea and Todd continue holding each other and moving together.]
Todd (distracted by her alluring scent): You smell...(taking a few extra seconds to breathe in her scent)...
Tea: I smell?
Todd: ...great...you smell really great.
Tea (laughing): That's better.
Todd: The music's over.
Tea: So?
[Todd moves his hand up and down Tea's back several times. Tea notices Todd's breathing begin to change. Instead of moving together in their dance they start moving against each other. When Todd's lips brush against her neck Tea laughs slightly.]
Todd: Does that tickle?
Tea: No.
Todd: Then why did you laugh?
Tea: Because I'm happy.
Todd: Really?
Tea: Really...completely...blissfully.
Todd: How long before you go back to normal?
Tea: From now on this feeling is normal. (pulling slightly away from Todd's embrace to look in his eyes) Is that understood?
Todd: No. You know I don't understand why you want to be here with me.
Tea: You don't have to understand. Just accept it, okay? Don't do anything stupid to blow it.
Todd: I'm trying really hard not to do that, Tea. I want you to be happy. I want Starr to be happy. I want this kid to be happy.
Tea: What about you?
Todd: I don't do happy.
Tea: You seemed pretty happy when we took the test and found out I was pregnant.
Todd: I was okay with it.
Tea: Todd, you laughed out loud, held me really tight and started crying.
Todd: I did not.
Tea: Don't worry. I won't tell anyone that you cried, okay? I was there. I know what your reaction was. I know that you were happy, maybe only for a couple of minutes, but you were definitely happy and you showed it.
Todd (burying his face in her neck as he holds her closer to him): I'm still happy, Tea. Every kid should have parents who are happy that their kid exists.
Tea: Maybe your parents weren't but I'm glad you're here, Todd. I know that your children will always know how wanted and loved they are. I know you'll give them that.
Todd (stepping back to look at her but keeping her in his arms): No more taking off. I'm not running out on my kids ever again...or you. I won't run out on you either.
Tea: I'm counting on it.
Todd: I'll even be with you when you force the kid out...if I have to.
Tea: Great. We'll take classes ahead of time so you're prepared for what it's like, okay?
Todd: They won't show any of those porno movies, will they?
Tea: Porno movies?
Todd: Yeah, you know, where you can see the kid coming out.
Tea: Childbirth films? Those are not pornographic.
Todd: There are naked ladies in them, aren't there?
Tea: I know it would make you uncomfortable. If they show them, we'll skip that part of the class, okay? We'll watch them at home instead.
Todd: Why watch them at all? Why even take any classes? You push and the kid pops out. It's simple.
Tea: For you maybe. From what I've seen and heard it seems kind of painful to me.
Todd: You can't change your mind now, Delgado.
Tea: I'm not. I'm just not looking forward to it hurting like hell.
Todd: Okay. You can break my fingers if you need to.
Tea: Thank you. You're the sweetest husband, Todd.
Todd: Okay, that's enough of this talking.
Tea: What will we do if we don't talk?
Todd: What we've been leading up to the last couple of minutes only you've been talking too much to get to the good part.
Tea: The good part?
[Todd pulls Tea tightly against his body as he brings his lips forward to touch hers. They kiss passionately for several minutes as Todd pushes Tea's body against the jukebox. He has his hand on one of her breasts as his other hand pulls up the bottom of her dress.
Tea is frantically trying to undo his pants when she feels his body freeze. She stops what she's doing afraid that she did something wrong, that she did something to trigger a horrible memory for him.
Todd pulls his face away from Tea's. She notices his eyes are tightly closed. They stay in the same position for what seems like several minutes as Tea waits for Todd to decide how to handle whatever it is that happened.]
Todd: Tea?
Tea: Are you okay?
Todd: I can't do this.
Tea: We don't have to. What happened?
[Todd opens his eyes and stares at her eyes. He pulls his body away from her which causes his opened pants to fall to the floor.]
Tea (looking down): I'm sorry.
Todd (in a daze): That's okay.
[Todd doesn't make any move to pull up his pants. He continues to stand in front of Tea with his hand on her stomach under her raised dress.]
Tea: Can you talk about it?
Todd: We'll have to wait until the kid is born.
Tea: Why?
Todd: I can't do this.
Tea: Todd, we've been doing this for several weeks. You knew I was pregnant. What's different now?
Todd: I didn't know.
Tea: You were so convinced.
Todd: I wanted you to be but I didn't know for sure. Now we know.
Tea: Help me understand. Why can't we make love?
Todd: I can't do that to him.
Tea: You won't hurt him. Todd, I know that. You'll be gentle. You've always been gentle.
Todd: It's not that.
Tea: Then what?
Todd: He's with us. He's right here with us. We can't do this to him. We can't do this in front of him.
Tea: He can't see us. He wouldn't know what we're doing. He would never have a memory of it. It wouldn't in any way hurt him.
Todd: I can't, Tea, okay? Just understand.
Tea: I do. I just want you to understand that it isn't the same thing.
Todd: Right now it feels like it is.
Tea: Okay. What do you want to do?
Todd: I don't know.
Tea: Do you need to be alone?
Todd (after pausing for a moment to think): No. No, we can be together. We just can't do that, okay?
Tea: Okay. Do you want to go upstairs and lie down together?
Todd: Um...
Tea: I promise I won't try anything.
Todd: Maybe...um...would it be okay if I was alone, for just a little while?
Tea: Of course. I'll go upstairs. (gently caressing his face) Everything's okay, Todd.
[Todd reaches out and hugs Tea tightly. When he releases her she leaves the room. Todd pulls up his pants and sits down for a minute before suddenly getting up and quickly leaving the room and the house.]
****
chapter 74
[Hours later, Todd enters the bedroom and is surprised when he doesn't find Tea in bed.]
Todd (stepping onto the balcony): Tea?
Tea (startled): Todd?
Todd: You were worried?
Tea: I just couldn't sleep.
Todd: You heard me leave.
[Tea doesn't speak or look directly at Todd.]
Todd: You thought I wasn't coming back.
Tea: That isn't true.
Todd: Don't lie to me. You really thought that, didn't you? (getting angry) Didn't you? I told you earlier that I wouldn't take off on you and here you are a couple of hours later thinking I left you. You don't trust me.
Tea: Should I?
Todd: Haven't I proven myself to you yet? Every time I go for a walk you're going to think I left for good, is that it? Are you even going to let me leave the house? I could wear a monitor so you can track me down at all times.
Tea: Why are you angry at me?
Todd (trying to calm down): I'm not.
Tea: You sound like you are.
Todd: I thought you trusted me. I'm trying so hard here, Tea.
Tea: I know you are. You have to understand that this isn't easy for me either. You have pushed me away before. You've shut me out. You've walked away from me. Is it really so unreasonable for me to get scared sometimes that it could happen again?
Todd: I'm not the first person who ditched you, either.
Tea: No, you're not.
Todd: I don't know what I can do, Tea. I do know that I'll never be perfect. I'll never do exactly what you want the way that you want me to.
Tea: I want you to love me. I want you to stick with this no matter how difficult it gets. If there comes a time when you don't love me anymore then...
Todd (interrupting): That won't happen.
Tea: I hope not. I can't imagine a time when I won't love you or need you to be with me.
Todd: Look, the reason I left for a little while it wasn't because of you. I just needed air I could breathe and space and...
[Todd stops speaking, still trying to make sense out of everything in his own mind before he tries to explain it to Tea.]
Tea: It's okay, Todd. You can take time away when you need to.
Todd: Sometimes it just feels like everything's closing in and I need to get out and get away from it all.
Tea: Am I pushing too hard? Is all this togetherness too much?
Todd: No. I like being with you. You know that. I really do, Tea. It isn't you I need to get away from...it's me.
Tea: How can you do that?
Todd: That's the thing. No matter where I go I'm always there. I'm stuck with it. Sometimes I think if I can just get out of the place I'm in then it will be better somewhere else but it never is. There's nowhere... There's nothing I can do to get away from it. Sometimes when I'm with you or Starr I feel like I can escape for a little while but it never really goes away it's just quieter sometimes.
Tea: What is quieter?
Todd: Everything. It's like I can hear myself screaming inside my head and I just want it to stop.
Tea: Todd, if you're saying...
Todd: I'm not saying anything and I'm not seeing a shrink. If that's not acceptable to you then...
Tea: What were you going to say? If it's not acceptable I can get the hell out?
Todd: It's your choice, Tea.
Tea: Should I fear for my safety?
Todd: I won't hurt you.
Tea: Are you sure about that?
Todd: Physically, I won't. I probably will do stuff that hurts you other ways though but you knew that going in.
Tea: What about the baby?
Todd: I would never hurt a kid. You must know that.
Tea: If he gets attached to you and then one day family life gets to be too much for you and you take off then he will be hurt.
Todd: So, what, you want to protect him by never letting him get attached to me?
Tea: I'm not saying that.
Todd: Then what are you saying?
Tea: I'm saying that it's late. We should both go to bed.
[Tea tries to walk passed Todd but he grabs her arm to stop her.]
Todd: Why are you letting this go?
Tea: Do you want me to push you? Do you really want me to ask you all the questions that are forming in my mind right now?
Todd: No.
Tea: Then let's go to bed.
[Todd continues to hold onto Tea's arm.]
Tea: Todd, I'm trusting you to take care of us. If whatever is going on inside of you will hurt us then I'm trusting you to take care of it...in whatever way you have to. You've made it clear that my pushing you to see a psychiatrist won't work and I've helped you to find other ways to deal with what's inside of you and you know that you can always talk to me or to Viki if you need to so I'm not going to push you. I'm trusting you, Todd. Don't make me regret that decision.
Todd: I'll try not to.
Tea: Will you come and be with me, at least until I fall asleep?
Todd: Sure.
[Todd lets go of Tea's arm and follows her back into the house.
Hours later...
Tea wakes up in a panic. She can feel a heavy weight on top of her. A few seconds later she realizes that it's Todd and he's having a nightmare.]
Todd: You bastard!
Tea (speaking loudly): Todd? Todd? Wake up, Todd.
Todd: You sick bastard!
Tea: Todd, wake up. You're hurting me, Todd. Wake up. (yelling) Todd? Todd?
[Tea's voice finally breaks through Todd's nightmare and awakens him. Todd is confused when he realizes he's on top of Tea, holding her down. He quickly gets off of her.]
Todd: What's going on?
Tea: You were having another nightmare. It's nothing. Lie back down and try to go back to sleep.
Todd (still feeling confused): No...no.
Tea: I'll rub your forehead for you. You'll fall asleep again.
Todd: Why are you breathing so hard?
Tea: It's nothing?
Todd: Why?
Tea: I was startled when I woke up, that's all.
Todd: Why was I on top of you?
Tea: I don't know. We can talk about this in the morning, okay?
Todd: Did I hurt you?
Tea (lying): No.
Todd: Did I hurt the baby?
Tea: No, of course not.
Todd: Are you lying to me?
Tea: You didn't hurt the baby, I swear.
[Without saying anything else Todd leaves the room. Tea puts on a robe and follows him.]
Tea (following Todd down the stairs): Todd, don't leave.
Todd: I can't stay here if I'm going to hurt you.
Tea: You didn't hurt me.
Todd: You're lying. I know it. I can tell.
Tea: I'm not. Don't leave.
Todd: Take off your robe.
Tea: What?
Todd: Take it off. If I didn't hurt you then show me.
[Tea doesn't make any move to undo her robe.]
Todd (frustrated and yelling): Take it off.
[Tea turns to go back upstairs. Todd grabs her lightly by the arm causing Tea to flinch.]
Todd: Take off your robe.
Tea: I don't want to.
Todd: Then I have to leave.
Tea: No, you don't.
Todd: I know that I hurt you. I know that's why you won't take off your robe. I can't stay here.
Tea: If I show you will you stay?
[Todd doesn't answer. Tea loosens her robe and removes it as Todd turns on a nearby lamp. Todd feels like he's been kicked in the stomach when he sees marks on Tea's arms from when he was holding her down during his nightmare.]
Tea: It's not as bad as it looks.
[Todd stares at the evidence of what he has done to Tea's body. He's repulsed at himself. He's angry at himself and at his father for invading his sleep so deeply that he could hurt Tea thinking she was Peter.
Todd smashes the lamp against the wall and starts breaking everything in his path out the door. Tea puts her robe back on and quickly rushes to the phone, knowing that she can't handle Todd alone right now.
Outside, Todd tries to destroy everything he encounters. He tears up the little picket fence in front of the house. He kicks and tosses potted plants. He throws the lawn furniture against a big tree. He tears up bushes and flowers.
When Tea finishes with her phone call, assured that help will be coming soon, she finds Todd outside on his knees pounding his fists into the ground.]
Tea (trying to sound calm): Todd, come inside.
Todd: Get away from me.
Tea: Todd, everything will be okay. Just come inside. You need to calm down.
Todd: You need to get the hell away from me.
Tea: I want to be with you, you know that.
Todd: Do you enjoy pain? Do you like it when I hurt you? Do you?
Tea: Of course not. I know you didn't mean to hurt me.
Todd: You're an idiot if you believe that.
Tea: I'm not an idiot and I do believe that. I believe in you.
[Todd finally stops pounding the ground and hunches over completely exhausted. Tea slowly approaches him and gently places her hand on his back trying to soothe him. Todd jerks away from her and rushes into the house. Tea follows him and notices him grab his keys off the kitchen counter where he had left them.]
Tea: No. You can't go.
Todd: Get out of my way.
Tea: You can't leave me here alone.
Todd: You'll be safer without me here.
Tea: I'm scared to be here alone. At least wait until I can call and have Carlotta come up, okay? It wouldn't take her long to get here. Once she's here you can leave, okay, Todd?
Todd (heading toward the door): I have to get out of here.
Tea: Take me with you.
Todd: You're more nuts than I am.
Tea: Take me to Carlotta's. You can't just leave me here alone. I want you to drop me off at Carlotta's and then you can go wherever you need to go.
Todd: Take your own car.
Tea: I'm in no shape to drive right now. Just drop me off at Carlotta's, okay?
[Tea can tell that Todd is clearly exhausted and confused.]
Tea: It will just take me a couple of minutes to pack a bag.
Todd: Forget it.
Tea (as Todd starts to leave): Okay, no bag. Just drive me to Carlotta's.
[Tea walks past Todd and exits the house heading toward the garage. Todd follows.]
****
chapter 75
[In Todd's confusion he allowed Tea to convince him that he had to drive her to Carlotta's house before he took off. As they drive down their long driveway Tea observes Todd. She knows that he clearly shouldn't be driving but knew that she wouldn't have been able to stop him from leaving. She just hopes that her plan will work.
Shortly after they pull onto the mountain road Tea starts to moan loudly.]
Tea: Todd, stop the car.
Todd: Stop playing games with me, Tea.
Tea: I think I'm going to be sick.
Todd: You are not.
Tea: It's probably morning sickness. I've been feeling nauseous the last couple of days.
Todd: You're lying.
Tea: I didn't tell you. I didn't want to concern you. (Tea groans again) I really need you to pull over, Todd.
[When they approach a scenic overlook area Tea increases the volume of her groaning.]
Tea: Todd? Todd? (Todd doesn't respond) Todd pull over. (yelling) Pull over, right now.
[Todd pulls over and Tea immediately opens the car door and gets out. Todd opens his door and watches Tea lean over a railing.
Todd stays by the car, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. After several minutes Todd notices that Tea hasn't vomited at all.]
Todd: Tea? Are you okay now? Can we go?
Tea: I need to stay here for a few minutes, okay?
Todd: I need to get out of here.
Tea: Just a few minutes and then we can go.
Todd: Look, you can have the window open, okay? You can even throw up in the car, I don't care. I just need to get out of here.
Tea: Just give me a few more minutes.
Todd: Why don't I call Carlotta and she'll come up here and get you, okay?
Tea: You can't leave me here.
Todd: You'll be okay.
Tea: I'm pregnant, Todd. You can't leave me out here alone in the dark.
Todd: Then get in the car.
Tea: In a few minutes.
Todd: You've been saying that for more than a few minutes. I'm starting to think you're not really sick.
Tea: Of course I am.
Todd: Then why haven't you thrown up yet?
Tea: Well, you may not believe this but I'm trying hard not to. I've spent more than enough time in recent months throwing up, remember?
Todd: I really need to get out of here. I'll take you back to the house and Carlotta can meet you there.
Tea: No.
Todd: Then I'm leaving you here.
Tea: You can't do that.
Todd: I have to.
[Todd starts to get back into his car.]
Tea (approaching the car): You can't abandon me like this, Todd.
Todd: I offered you choices. You wouldn't take any of them.
Tea: Just stay here with me for a few more minutes.
Todd: I can't. I have to get away from this place.
Tea: Which place?
Todd: I'm not in the mood to chat right now, Tea.
Tea: If you're going to abandon me I think I deserve an explanation.
Todd: I'm not abandoning you.
Tea: Are you coming back?
[Todd doesn't answer. Tea looks away knowing that Todd just confirmed one of her greatest fears.]
Todd: Tea, get in the car and I'll take you to Carlotta's.
[Tea walks back to the railing and sits down on the ground with her back leaning against a post. After a couple of minutes, Todd silently approaches her.]
Todd (standing over her): You understand, right?
[Tea is silent. Todd kneels down near her.]
Todd: After what I did to you tonight, you know I have to leave. I can't stay here. What I did...what I could do...I have to leave. Tell me you understand. Tea?
[Todd moves closer to Tea and sits to her side, facing her.]
Tea: Did you understand when your mother left?
Todd: That's so different.
Tea: Did you understand?
Todd: No.
Tea: Don't expect me to understand this, Todd. I'm not going to say it's okay. I'm not going to give you that.
Todd: I hurt you, Tea.
Tea: Not on purpose.
Todd: It doesn't matter. I thought that maybe it could be different this time...that maybe I could control it but I can't. If it can be there when I'm sleeping and hurt you then there's nothing I can do to protect you. The only way I can take care of you and know that you're safe is if I'm not here anymore. I never should have been here, Tea. I never should have come back. I wish I had never come back.
[Tea is instantly devastated. The months that she's had with Todd, although she was severely ill during them, were the happiest times she's ever had. She felt so much love from Todd. To hear him say that he wishes they hadn't had that time, breaks her heart.
Todd knows immediately that he said the wrong thing. He knows that he hurt Tea by saying it. He reaches out to Tea who tries to get up and move away from him. Todd holds onto Tea, not letting her get away from him. As she struggles slightly he pulls her toward him and wraps his arms around her. Tea stops struggling and melts into his embrace as she begins to cry.]
Todd (after holding her silently for several minutes): I didn't mean it, Tea. You know that, don't you? I didn't mean it. I would do it again. I would. If I got that call again saying that you were sick, that you...that you had...cancer...I would do it again. I would call you and I would run down that driveway to get here to you, just like I did that day. I would take you home and convince you to stay with me. I would go to the hospital with you for every appointment. I would sit up with you at night when you couldn't sleep. I would hold you when you were scared. I would be there when you vomit and I would clean up after you. I would heat up your food and watch television with you. I would play poker with you and let you win when your body was in so much pain you didn't think you would be able to survive it another minute. I would talk to you and try to make you laugh when I could see tears in your eyes. I would shave your head. I would help you change your clothes and help you bathe. I would carry you when you were too weak to walk more than a few steps without getting exhausted. I would hold you in my arms so you could sleep. And, everything else, Tea...anything else that I did that helped you get through that I would do for you again. I don't regret it, not one minute of it, not even the disgusting parts. You needed me and I needed to be there for you. I'm glad that it helped, that I could help you. I'm glad that you got in touch with me so I could be there through all of that with you. What I regret, Tea, is every time that I hurt you...every moment that you've felt pain because of me. I never wanted you to feel pain again. I really didn't want to be the one who caused you pain.
[Listening to Todd's words, Tea's tears stopped. Before Todd knows what she's doing, Tea crawls on top of Todd, kneeling with her legs on either side of his body. Todd waits to see what she's doing. Tea opens her robe and takes Todd's hand and places it on her bare stomach.]
Tea: What about this?
Todd: That's your stomach.
Tea: That's our child.
Todd: I know. I may have lost it tonight but I haven't forgotten.
Tea: Do you regret this? Do you regret what we did that created this person inside me?
Todd: No. You know I would never feel that way.
Tea: Then why are you leaving us?
Todd: I have to protect you...both of you...and Starr. (Todd pauses to think for a moment) You know that I've wanted Starr to spend more time with us. I wanted her to stay overnight more. How could I let her be with us now? If she had been here tonight I would have scared the hell out of her. And what about this kid, huh? Starr has somewhere else to live. I can make sure that I'm only around her when I feel okay but this kid will be with us all the time. It's so hard sometimes for me to keep myself under control, to keep my anger from exploding. There's no way that I could do it all the time like I would need to if I'm living with you and our kid. If it can get out when I'm sleeping then I have no chance of completely controlling it.
Tea: I know that you won't hurt your children. I know that.
Todd: But I could. Even if I don't physically hurt them myself they could still get hurt because of me. What if I smash and break things after this kid is born like I did tonight? What if we don't get everything cleaned up? What if he's crawling around and finds some small pieces of broken glass? I got lucky with Starr because I certainly broke enough stuff when she was little. It was just luck that she never got hurt because of it. And, what about what I did tonight? What if I hurt our kid during the next nightmare? What if I hurt you worse? And, I never should have let you get into the car. I could have smashed into a tree or something. What were you thinking getting into the car with me?
Tea: I had to stop you from leaving.
Todd: You were faking the morning sickness, right? You just wanted to give me time to calm down and get more rational, didn't you?
Tea: Yes...and...
Todd: What else?
Tea: I called someone.
Todd: Who?
[With perfect timing another car arrives and pulls in next to Todd's car. Tea hugs her body against Todd's as his arms go around her bare back underneath her robe.]
to be continued...
