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| IN THE FUTURE BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 4 |
PREVIOUSLY
Todd: I don't need privacy from you. You're the only one that I know I can tell everything to.
Tea: Well, I was invited to dinner.
Todd: Good. Let's go eat, I'm hungry. I hope we're having baked potatoes.
[Tea gives Todd an amused look behind his back as he leads her out of the living room.]
[It's the middle of the night. Todd is lying awake in Viki's guest bedroom. He and Viki talked for hours after dinner was over and Tea left. He didn't tell her everything that he's going through but he did tell her most of it. Some things he just can't talk about with anyone, well, except Tea. He knows that he can tell Tea anything and he's determined that even if it takes him decades he will tell her everything. Todd thinks about his wife. He can't believe that after everything she is still his wife.
In her apartment, Tea is pacing. She can't sleep. She gave up even trying hours ago. She can't believe that he's doing this to her again. He comes back to town and instantly she's sucked back into his chaotic Toddian world. What is it about this man that makes her want to help him, need to help him, even after all of the pain he has put her through? She wants to scream. She wants to run, to get as far away as she can, but she knows it wouldn't work. He would always be with her. Following her. Encountering her in her dreams. How can you escape a man who chases you down in your dreams? Whose eyes you see every time you close your own. Whose heart you feel as deeply as your own. Whose pain you know you can lessen. Especially when you know that he is the only one who can lessen your pain, your loneliness. But the hardest part of all, what if it is this same man that causes you the greatest pain and fills you with the deepest loneliness? The pain of being with him or the pain of not being with him, which is greater? Which is harder to live with? Which do you choose?]
[Todd is doing push ups on the floor (he is shirtless, of course) when he hears his cell phone ringing.]
Todd (into the phone): Delgado? (silence) Are you all right? (silence) I'll be right over.
[Tea hangs up. The panic starts to set in. What did she just do? What will she do when he gets there? She chastises herself for being so weak, for needing him so much, for loving him too completely. The only time that it's easy, or at least not impossibly difficult, is when she looks in his eyes. But those eyes, they make her forget, they make her hope. Those eyes have led her to a broken heart so many times. She won't answer the door. She's decided. She will definitely not open the door. If she doesn't see his eyes she won't be sucked back in again. Tea goes to her bedroom to change. She wants to look good - well, just in case.]
Later...
[Todd is pacing in the hallway outside Tea's apartment door. He wants to be inside with his wife but he also wants to leave. He's scared of hurting her again and of being hurt. He continues to pace.
Inside the apartment, Tea paces wondering how long Todd intends to pace outside her door before knocking. Maybe he is having second thoughts. Maybe he doesn't really want this marriage. Maybe he doesn't really love her. Maybe... Finally she can't take it anymore and grabs the doorknob and violently jerks the door open startling Todd.]
Tea (yelling): Are you coming in or what?
Todd: Um, okay.
[Todd tentatively enters Tea's apartment.]
Todd (looking around): Delgado, you know, you could afford better than this.
Tea: I'm fine. I don't need much.
Todd: But you could have everything. (looking out the window) You certainly could live in a much better neighborhood than this.
Tea: There's nothing wrong with this neighborhood. I like it here. Did you come here to pick a fight?
Todd: No.
Tea: Then shut up about my living arrangements.
Todd: Sorry.
[Todd sits down on one end of the sofa and Tea sits down on the other.]
Tea: No, I'm sorry. I guess I just don't like talking about money with you, you know, the way we started and all.
Todd: Okay, we'll never talk about money again.
Tea: Well, actually, we probably should. While you were gone I took charge of your finances.
Todd: I know.
Tea: I made a few adjustments.
Todd: What kind of adjustments? Nevermind, I'm sure whatever you did was a good idea. (pause) You didn't lose all my money did you?
Tea: No. You are just as wealthy as before I just diversified your investments a little more and you own more real estate than you did before. Speaking of real estate, I couldn't help but notice a purchase you made, um, a while ago.
Todd: Really, which one?
Tea: The Bayberry Inn.
Todd: Oh, that. Yeah...well...I thought someone should put an end to their bizarre holiday rituals.
Tea: I see.
Todd: Yeah.
Tea: Can I get you something to drink. Dry Sec?
Todd: No thanks, I don't drink.
Tea: Since when?
Todd: Since my shrink pointed out that I have a better chance of staying in control if I'm sober. Besides, anger and alcohol are not a good combination, I know that.
Tea: Did your father drink?
Todd: Sometimes. He didn't need it to get angry or to do stuff but his personality certainly didn't improve with booze.
Tea: You said earlier that there were things, things about your past, that you wanted to talk about. Do you want to talk about them now?
Todd: I don't know. It's pretty late. Don't you have to get up early and run my newspaper?
Tea: If I'm late Briggs will handle it. He's the one who's really been running it. I mostly just supervise.
Todd: Yeah, you've gotta watch Briggs cause he has a tendency toward decency which is not good for circulation. Have you taken over the legal department?
Tea: Unofficially.
Todd: We could make it official if you want.
Tea: Are you going back to the paper right away?
Todd: Actually, I was thinking that maybe I'd wait. You know, I'm doing this therapy thing and it takes a lot more time to be sane than I realized. Besides, if I go back to the paper everyone in Llanview will know I'm back and I don't know if I'm ready for that.
Tea: Well, you're not going to be able to keep it a secret while you're staying at Viki's.
Todd: You're right. I probably shouldn't stay there.
Tea: Have you thought about seeing Starr?
Todd: Every day since I've been gone but I don't think I'm ready yet.
Tea: Why not? I'm sure she misses you.
Todd: I miss her too but I don't think it's a good idea. I know I won't hurt her, well, not on purpose, but I don't want to walk back into her life until I know for certain that I'll never leave her again.
Tea: And you don't know that right now.
Todd: Well, I sort of do but it was hard enough for me to get the nerve up to see you and Viki. Maybe in a couple of days I'll be ready to face Starr and, of course, Blair and everyone else. But you're right I can't hide at Viki's, there are too many Buchanans in and out of that place. I need a Buchanan-free zone.
[Todd looks around her apartment and Tea realizes his intentions.]
Tea: Excuse me. I did not invite you.
Todd: You called me.
Tea: Do you have proof of that?
Todd: Don't be a lawyer.
Tea: Hey, you paid me good money for my lawyer tendencies, remember?
Todd: I thought we weren't going to talk about money.
Tea: Yeah, well, we can talk about good-bye since you're leaving.
Todd: I am? I don't know I think it's kind of comfy here. Nice and warm and cozy.
Tea: Todd!
Todd: If you don't want me to stay I won't but if you did I would.
Tea: What does that mean?
Todd: Well, it means that instead of leaving I would continue to be here.
Tea: You know what I mean.
Todd: Unfortunately I do and no I'm not ready for the whole marriage thing but I think I can handle the living together part. We did that before and I thought it worked well.
Tea: For you maybe.
Todd: You didn't like living with me?
Tea: It was, um, frustrating at times.
Todd: Look, if you want I'll sleep on the couch. It's not that uncomfortable. Of course we are married...
Tea: Why don't you just tell me what you're trying to say?
Todd: I want to sleep with you.
Tea: Huh?
Todd: Yeah, okay, I know we've only really done that once, you know, sleep together...
Tea: We did?
Todd: Yeah, don't you remember? You held my hand all night.
Tea: No, it was you who held my hand, or my arm actually. Is that what you want? To sleep with me? To literally sleep with me?
Todd: What else?
Tea (visibly disappointed): Um, nothing, I guess. You should go now.
Todd: You know, Tea, I was only teasing you. I thought it would be fun, and, well, it was, but I'm done now.
Tea: You don't want to sleep with me?
Todd: Yes, I do.
Tea: Why are you purposely confusing me?
Todd: I told you, it's fun. Okay, seriously, I do want to sleep with you. Right now, the only kind of sleeping with you that I can handle is the kind we did before but I definitely want to do the other kind with you too but not tonight and maybe not for a while.
Tea: Are you saying that you want a real marriage...eventually.
Todd: Tea, I've had a real marriage with you. You don't need to take your clothes off for that, do you? Isn't a real marriage something emotional between two people not physical?
Tea: Yes, but it can also be physical.
Todd: I want to be physical with you. And I think I can handle some of it.
Tea: Like what?
Todd: Kissing...I could definitely handle kissing you. Dancing...I could dance with you. And, remember, that thing you said about wanting to fall asleep in my arms and feeling my warmth and my heart beating and all that junk? I think I can handle that too.
Tea: But anything more than that you're not ready for?
Todd: No.
Tea: But someday you will be?
Todd: Maybe. Is that a requirement for you?
Tea: I told you a long time ago that we could wait on that, and I meant it, but I do need physical intimacy. I need to be able to touch you and to feel you touch me. I want you to hold me not because you think I want you to but because you enjoy feeling me next to you. I want you to sleep in my bed because there's no other place that you'd rather sleep.
Todd: Tea, there's no place else that I can sleep. That night that we slept together was incredible. I actually slept. I don't mean that my body passed out for a few hours after days of being sleep deprived. I mean, I really slept and it was because you were there. All those nights that I snuck into your room and watched you sleep I always wished that I could be where you were, that I could be in your bed and in your dreams because you always seemed so peaceful and calm. I'd give anything to be that calm, for all of the battles inside of me to stop, just for a little while, for the memories to go away, for the pain to stop. You do that for me just by being in the same room with me. Okay, maybe not completely, but you make me think that, maybe, someday.
Tea: You can't expect me to take away your past and all of the pain it left inside of you. That's expecting too much of me.
Todd: No it's not. You can do anything.
Tea: No, I can't. I don't have that kind of power. I don't. If your expecting that then you'll be disappointed.
Todd: I'll never be disappointed, Tea, not in you. I love you and I want to be with you but it's your decision.
Tea: It's not an easy one. How do I know that you won't walk out again or throw me out?
Todd: I can't throw you out...it's your apartment.
Tea: Don't joke. I need to know that if I let you stay that you won't leave me again. If I fall asleep in your arms I need to know that I'll wake up and you'll still be there. No matter how scared you get. No matter what you uncover in therapy. For as long as you love me I need to know that you will be with me.
[Todd moves over until his body is touching Tea's. He reaches his hand up and caresses her face.]
Todd: I will not leave you, Tea. I will never leave you.
[Todd leans in and kisses Tea the same way he did the first time that they kissed. They pull away from the kiss. Tea puts her hand on the back of his neck and cautiously pulls him into another kiss. Todd responds by putting his arms around her and holding her close. They kiss for several minutes - the most kissing they've done in either of their marriages.]
Tea: Will you sleep with me?
Todd: I would love to. Where's the bedroom? (Tea points in the direction of her room) Do you expect me to carry you over the threshold again?
Tea: Once was enough.
[They enter the bedroom and Todd climbs on the bed.]
Tea: Could you at least take off your shoes?
Todd: Why? I'm just going to have to put them back on again in the morning. (she looks at him unamused) Okay, fine.
[They both take off their shoes and Tea sits down on the side of the bed. Todd reaches up and caresses her back. She slowly lays down beside him and puts her head on his chest.]
Tea: Is this okay?
Todd: This is great.
[They fall asleep in each other's arms.]
