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| IN THE FUTURE BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 5 |
PREVIOUSLY
[They both take off their shoes and Tea sits down on the side of the bed. Todd reaches up and caresses her back. She slowly lays down beside him and puts her head on his chest.]
Tea: Is this okay?
Todd: This is great.
[They fall asleep in each other's arms.]
[The next morning Tea wakes up and within seconds she is struck by the most intense pain she has ever felt. She picks up the clock on the nightstand and throws it across the room.]
Tea (yelling): Damn you!
[In the kitchen, Todd hears the clock hitting the wall and Tea yelling. He panics and rushes into the bedroom. He finds her laying on her stomach crying into a pillow. She's not just crying she's sobbing, her body is visibly shaking. He can't believe he did it again. He swore he wouldn't hurt her but he did. This is why he never wanted to fall in love with her, he knew it would cause pain, both for her and for him. He walks over to the bed and gently sits down.]
Todd: Tea, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd wake up so soon. We were up so late last night I thought you'd sleep later.
[He places his hand on her back and slowly starts to move it up and down the length of her back.]
Todd: I know I told you I'd be here when you woke up and I was...I was in the kitchen making coffee. I thought you might want some when you got up. I didn't leave you. I'll never leave you.
[He maneuvers himself so he's laying next to her as she continues uncontrollably sobbing.]
Todd (whispering in her ear): It's okay, Delgado. I'm right here. I'll never leave.
[Minutes pass. Tea is enjoying the back rub as she tells herself how stupid she is for assuming he left her. She should have checked the apartment first and then started throwing things. Suddenly Todd stops moving his hand along her back when he realizes that her shirt has risen up and he is now touching her bare back. Tea has herself more under control now, at least the sobbing has stopped. She waits to see what he'll do. After a moment, he pushes his body closer to hers and begins moving his hand again along her back, underneath her shirt. They stay there for a long while, each enjoying the sensation of his hand on her back.]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: Yeah?
Tea: Did you say there was coffee?
Todd: Did you want some? I'll get it for you.
Tea: No. Wait. Could we just stay here for a few more minutes and then I'll make us breakfast.
Todd: Okay.
[Todd tries to move so he's even closer to her and continues to rub her back.]
Later...
[Tea and Todd are having breakfast together.]
Tea: Have you decided what you're going to do?
Todd: About what?
Tea: About Starr, the paper, the rest of your life?
Todd: Well, I figure I'll spend the rest of my life irritating you. The paper can wait if you're willing to continue running it. Starr...Starr's the hardest part of all this. I know that I can explain everything to you but how do I explain it to her?
Tea: I'm sure you'll find a way.
Todd: Yeah, but how? I can't exactly tell her what my father did to me.
Tea: Why not?
Todd: Why not? It's too gross. I don't want her to know anything about that kind of stuff.
Tea: She's in school, she watches TV, she knows a lot more about these things than you think.
Todd: No she doesn't and she's not going to know. She's gonna be protected from this kind of garbage. It's never going to touch her.
Tea: It already has. What happened to you affects her because it affects you.
Todd: Okay, but that doesn't mean that she should ever have to hear about this kind of stuff.
Tea: She's already heard about it in school.
Todd: When?
Tea: Last year. She and I talked about it. They had some kind of presentation at her school about good touches and bad touches.
Todd: How come you didn't tell me?
Tea: I don't know, I guess I didn't feel comfortable bringing it up. You were never exactly comfortable talking about anything like this. Starr and I talked a little about it and I made sure that she knew that she could talk to you, me, Blair, Viki or the Cramers if she ever needed to. Of course, I didn't know then what had happened to you.
Todd: What did she say about it? Was she okay?
Tea: It wasn't a big deal. I asked her what she did at school and she told me what she had learned about when touches are okay and when they're not. She wasn't upset. If she had been I would have told you. I do remember, though, that she asked me why people do things like that.
Todd: See, that's why I can't tell her. She'll ask me something like that and what could I say? How do I explain why my father would do that to me?
Tea: You'll find the words and she'll understand.
Todd: You know what I've been afraid of for a long time, that one day she'd come home from school upset about something she'd heard about me. She would look me in the eye and say, 'Daddy, what's a rapist?' I don't think I could handle that but I know someday she'll know what I did. Nothing in this town is ever kept a secret, especially if it's something bad that I've done.
Tea: You'll get through it, you both will. You'll help her to understand.
Todd: Do you understand?
Tea: Maybe we shouldn't talk about this.
Todd: You want me to tell my daughter that my father raped me but you don't want to talk about the fact that I'm a rapist.
Tea: A former rapist.
Todd: Tea, you never stop being a rapist. I'll always be a rapist and I'll always be a rape victim.
Tea: Are you sure you want to talk about this?
Todd: Go ahead.
Tea: Okay. Is there a connection? Do you think there's a connection between what your father did to you and what you did?
Todd: My shrink thinks there is.
Tea: Do you?
Todd: I don't know. Maybe I would have been a rapist anyway, maybe not. I don't think that I can really say. What my father did to me - physically, sexually, verbally - it's all a part of who I am now. I can't really know who I would have been if Ward Cleaver, or even Archie Bunker, had been my father.
Tea: You're not blaming your father for what you did?
Todd: He wasn't there. I was. I knew what it was like to be hurt like that and I chose to hurt women like that. It's my fault not theirs and not his. It was my choice.
Tea: Therapy is helping you.
Todd: Maybe, but I still hate it. All this going back and digging into the stuff that happened it just make me feel lousy.
Tea: But you felt lousy before, maybe going through this now will help you to feel better in the future.
Todd: Well, I hope the future comes soon because I really hate this.
Tea (gently touching his arm): It will get better.
Todd: Will you go with me when I visit Starr?
Tea: Today?
Todd: It would be easier if you were there.
Tea: Actually, it would be easier to convince Blair to let you see her if I'm not there. Remember how much Blair hated me before?
Todd: Um, I seem to recall something about a window.
Tea: Well, it's even worse now, since I got that contract, giving her part of the Sun, declared invalid.
Todd: How did you manage that, by the way?
Tea: I simply pointed out to a judge that you were mentally ill at the time you signed it. It wasn't hard since the court already had accepted your DID for the lodge incident.
Todd: But what about the tape?
Tea: Someone was stupid enough to leave the only copy of it where I could find it.
Todd: Tea, isn't it illegal to destroy evidence?
Tea: Who says I destroyed it? You never know, I may need it someday.
Todd: Ooh, I'm so scared.
Tea: You should be.
Todd: Okay, so why would that even matter? It was already public knowledge. Everyone already heard it.
Tea: The judge hadn't. Beside, do you have any idea how easy it was for me to discredit most of the witnesses to the tape playing?
Todd: I bet it was kind of fun too.
Tea: A little. Anyway, I simply convinced the judge that the person everyone heard on that tape was Pete and not you.
Todd: So you used Pete to get what you wanted.
Tea: He does come in handy sometimes. And it wasn't about what I wanted it was about what was best for Starr.
Todd: So Blair won't let you see Starr now?
Tea: She wasn't letting me see her before either.
Todd: I'm sorry about that. You always did say that Blair would never let you be a part of Starr's life if she had full custody. Now that I'm back I'll make sure you get to see Shorty.
Tea: Don't do anything to alienate Blair. Maybe it's best if she doesn't know about our...arrangement.
Todd: What arrangement?
Tea: This...you staying here. You do still want to stay here, don't you?
Todd: Of course. So, if we can't tell Blair then we can't tell anyone else, right? So, no one will know that you were stupid enough to fall for me again.
Tea: I'm just thinking about what's best for you and Starr.
Todd: And making sure that no one thinks you're an idiot for wanting to be with me.
Tea: I didn't say that.
Todd: You didn't have to.
Tea: Todd...
Todd (getting up): I'm gonna go over to Viki's and get my stuff.
Tea: What are you going to tell Viki?
Todd: That I need to be on my own for a while. She'll understand. She always does. I'll go back to work at the Sun too that way you won't have to explain to anyone why you're still working there now that I'm back in town.
Tea: I thought you were going to focus on your therapy?
Todd: I can do both.
Tea: You don't have to. Your therapy is more important.
Todd: Don't worry about it. I'll let Briggs do most of the work. I'll just take all of the credit.
[Todd leaves. Tea goes to The Sun to remove her things from Todd's office. His employees are stunned and, well, not quite happy to hear of Todd's return. News of Todd's return spreads throughout the town. The Buchanans are livid that Todd is back. Asa vows revenge on Todd. Bo promises Pa he'll take care of Manning. Kevin blames Todd for all of his problems. Blair threatens to go to court to get full custody of Starr and keep Todd away from her. Viki is thrilled to have her brother back. Carlotta warns Tea to stay away from Todd for her own sake. Basically, a typical Toddian day in Llanview.]
Later that night...
[Tea and Todd have finished dinner and are sitting on the couch kissing.]
Todd (pulling away from a kiss): Tea?
Tea (going back in for another kiss): What?
Todd: I want to show you something.
Tea: Okay.
Todd: Come with me.
[Todd leads Tea into the bedroom. He gestures for her to sit on the bed while he takes something out of his suitcase.]
Todd (handing her a tattered notebook): Here.
Tea: What's this?
Todd: My life story.
Tea: Your autobiography?
Todd: Sort of. I was having so much trouble saying out loud the stuff that my father did to me so my shrink told me to write it down instead. I finished this one already so I've started writing in a different notebook. I thought maybe, if you want to, you could read this one. Most of the stuff in there isn't too gross, just kind of painful.
Tea: I can handle anything that you want to tell me about, no matter how gross it is.
Todd: Okay. So, do you want to read it?
Tea (opening the notebook to the first page): Of course, if you want me to. Do you think maybe you could read it with me?
Todd: Well, if you want.
Tea: I think you'll have to because I can't make out a lot of these words. For instance, what does this say? Iman?
Todd (looking at the word she's pointing at): That says dinner.
Tea: You're kidding, right? That does not look like dinner.
Todd: Well that's what it says. I can't believe that after all this time you still can't read my handwriting.
Tea: I can when it's legible. A lot of these words aren't.
Todd: I guess I do write kind of fast trying to get the thoughts out as fast as I can so I don't have to think about them anymore.
Tea: Does it help writing it down?
Todd: Sometimes. I know it helped me a lot of nights when I couldn't sleep. I would just stay up and write down all the stuff I could think of. It got kind of scary though when I finished the entire notebook. I knew he did a lot of stuff to me but to see so much of it down on paper it's kind of weird.
Tea: So, you'll stay and translate for me?
Todd: Sure.
[Tea tentatively leans her body against Todd's reclining body so that they can both see the notebook at the same time. Todd helps her understand his writing and they discuss the incidents he wrote about.]
Todd (pulling the notebook out of Tea's hands): That's enough for tonight.
Tea: Come on, it's not even late yet.
Todd (showing her his watch): Yes it is.
Tea: Oh, I had no idea.
Todd: Yeah, I know, time flies when you're reliving my abusive past.
[Tea goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she comes back Todd is lying on his side. She lies down next to him and starts rubbing his back.]
Todd: What are you doing?
Tea: You did this for me this morning I'd like to do it for you tonight. It might help you relax enough to sleep. I know you didn't sleep much last night.
Todd: I slept.
Tea: Briefly.
Todd: It counts, trust me.
Tea: I'm sorry that being with me isn't having the same effect it did that time after your nightmare. I know that's part of the reason you wanted to be here.
Todd (rolling over to face her): This is helping me, Tea. Look, we went through all of those things that my father did to me and I didn't throw one thing, did I?
Tea; No and I appreciate that. You need to get some sleep, though. Let me rub your back for a while and see if it helps relax you.
Todd: Touch isn't really all that relaxing for me.
Tea: I thought mine was?
Todd: It is. Tea... Okay, fine, whatever. Go ahead. Give it your best shot but stay on top of my shirt, okay?
Tea: Okay.
[Todd rolls over onto his stomach and Tea slowly moves her hand over Todd's back. With her other hand she moves his hair off of his face and away from his neck. Without even thinking she leans over and kisses the back of his neck. His body noticeably stiffens under her hand.]
Tea: Sorry.
Todd: That's okay but you might want to warn me in the future.
[Tea continues massaging his back and his body relaxes. Tea rests her head on his shoulder and they both eventually fall asleep.]
