| SMALL BLESSINGS BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 76 - 80 |
SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 76:
[Less than an hour later...
Tea stands in the doorway of her nephew's bedroom. She watches silently as her ex-husband lays her sleepy nephew in his crib.
Todd looks in her direction and is puzzled by the look on her face.]
Todd: Am I doing this wrong?
Tea: You're doing everything perfectly.
Todd: What's with the look?
Tea: I'm just tired.
[Tea steps into the room and softly caresses her nephew's head before turning off the light and quietly leaving the room.
Todd follows her to her bedroom.]
Todd: What did I do wrong this time?
Tea: Nothing. You were great with him, even if you wouldn't change his diaper.
Todd: He made it clear that he wanted you to do that.
Tea: We should get some sleep. He'll be up again in a few hours.
[Tea approaches the bed and begins to open her robe. Realizing that she's not wearing anything under her robe, she tightens the sash again and turns around, intending to retrieve a nightgown from her dresser. She's startled to find Todd standing intimately close to her.]
Todd: I thought you wanted to go to bed?
Tea: I do. It's a little chilly in here. I should wear more than...
Todd: Nothing? That's what's under that thing, right?
Tea: I said you could sleep here. That's all I agreed to.
Todd: What if I want more?
Tea: You'll have to settle for what I can offer you.
Todd: You never settled when I was the one going too slow.
[Tea opens her mouth to speak but quickly decides not to utter her planned response.
She tries to move passed Todd, but he blocks her path.
Tea's body shivers as his hands tug at the sash holding her robe closed.]
Todd: I can make up to you for every time you were disappointed because of me.
Tea: I wasn't disappointed.
[Todd releases his grip on the sash and allows it to fall to her sides.]
Todd: You were. You will be.
[He places his hands under the material of her robe and removes it from her shoulders, guiding it on a slow journey down her body until it gathers on the floor at her feet.]
Tea: If you believe that, why are you doing this?
Todd: Because...
[He quickly removes his own shirt and tosses it across the room.]
Todd: I'm still the same selfish bastard you fell in love with. I want this. After we're finished, I'll give you what you want.
Tea: What do you think I want?
Todd: You want me to love you.
Tea: I've told you...
Todd: I know what you told me. I know...I remember...all the stuff you told me, about when you were a kid.
[Tea steps around him. She angrily jerks open one of the dresser drawers and searches for something to wear, now that she's certain sex will not be happening between them again this night.]
Todd: Delgado?
Tea: I don't want to talk anymore. We're going to sleep.
Todd: I'm making love to you first, then we'll sleep. When we wake up, we'll make love again. Then, you'll cook breakfast for me. Then...
Tea: I don't care what kind of fantasies you have about what will happen...
Todd: It's your fantasy. I remember that, too.
[Tea's body stiffens as Todd places his hand on her arm.]
Tea: I can't do this. You know too much. I was wrong to trust you. I knew it was a mistake, but...
Todd: But, what?
Tea: I wanted so much to have someone that I didn't have to feel so alone with.
Todd: You have that.
Tea: I wanted someone that I could trust with my most painful memories, with my secret fantasies, with my damaged beyond repair heart.
Todd: You can trust me again. I won't split on you this time...I promise.
Tea: You promised before. You lied. I'll never make the mistake of trusting you again. I'll never trust anyone from now on. I was a fool for trying with you. I was an idiot for believing that I could ever have that thing that's always been beyond my reach, even as a little girl.
Todd: What thing?
[Tea pulls a nightgown from the drawer in front of her. She quickly escapes the bedroom and enters the momentary safety of the empty bathroom.
Numerous minutes later...
Tea finally returns to the bedroom. She quickly joins Todd on the bed and lies on her side, facing away from him. The minutes she spent alone in the bathroom working on her resolve to resist him instantly feel wasted as he snuggles his body against her back and places his arm around her in a strong embrace.]
Todd: I get it, Delgado. That's always been our biggest problem. We understand each other too much. I know some people spout off about that being a good thing but, the truth is, it sucks.
[Tea closes her eyes as she feels his arm tighten even more around her body, pulling her closer to the warmth his body, and his heart, are offering her.]
Todd: You look at me and you see stuff that I thought I could keep hidden from everyone forever. There's so much junk that you know about that I wish you didn't. But, there's that weird part of me that's glad you know. I hate that you have something that you can use to have power over me, but I trust that you won't use any of it against me, the way that other people would, the way they have. I know it's nuts. You should never trust anyone. I see you doing what you should do and I want to help you stay protected, especially from me, but I see how much it's hurting you and I don't know what to do. I meant it when I promised I'd never split on you. I know I blew that promise before and we both know I'll probably blow it again. You know what it's like to watch someone you care about shut themselves off from everyone because their scared, like they should be, that their feelings will be twisted around and used against them. Love sucks! Only idiots give in to that junk. That's just it, Tea. It's okay for us to be idiots together. Everyone else would laugh at us while they screw us over. I'll never do that to you. I might split on you but I'll never make you feel like an idiot for giving a damn about me.
[As soon as Tea opens her mouth to speak, tears begin to pour from her eyes.]
Tea: You already have.
Todd: I never did that to you.
Tea: So many times.
Todd: If you felt that way it wasn't because I wanted you to.
Tea: What did you want me to feel? When you walked away, when you got on that plane, when you left me behind, knowing what I would have to face alone, what did you want me to feel? Loved? You failed.
[Todd buries his face in her neck as he continues to hold her sobbing body, his own heart aching knowing the pain he's caused her...in the past, in the present, and he hopes in the future.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 77:
[No more words are spoken as Todd continues to hold Tea as she cries. Soon, they both fall into exhausted sleep.
The next afternoon...
Tea awakens. She's not surprised to find that she's now alone in her bedroom. Todd's abandonment was something she both expected and dreaded. Rather than dealing with her feelings, Tea quickly gets out of bed, determined to focus all her energy on her nephew, instead of wallowing in sorrow over losing the man she loves again.
As Tea enters her nephew's bedroom, she panics as she immediately realizes that Little Enrique isn't in his crib.
As she moves closer she notices a slip of paper in the crib. She quickly grabs it and begins to read.]
Todd's note: I didn't split on you and I didn't swipe the kid. When will you start trusting me, Delgado? You made it clear that you'd freak if I tried buying you furniture. You didn't say anything about me not buying the kid a TV. Your mistake! Don't worry about my car not having a car seat for the little guy. He'll be safe in the trunk. I'm kidding. Fuck, Delgado, you need a sense of humor. I took your car. Stop worrying. What you really need even more than a sense of humor is some more fucking, Todd Manning style. I know that's what I need. You better shred this after you read it. I don't want anyone ever seeing what a romantic sap you've turned me into. If anyone else ever does read this I guess I'll just have to live with everyone knowing that you told me hundreds of times that I was the greatest fuck you'd ever had.
[Tea smiles as she comes to the end of his note.]
Tea: What would you say if I told you that you really were the greatest fuck of my life?
[Tea is startled as she hears a familiar voice.]
Todd: I'd wait until the kid conked out again and I'd give you another Todd Manning fuck special.
[Tea turns toward the doorway of her nephew's room and finds Todd standing there with a smirk on his face and Little E propped up in a sitting position in his arms.]
Tea: What are you doing here?
Todd: I live here, remember?
Tea: You do not.
Todd: Why wouldn't you want to live with the man who gave you the greatest fucking of your life?
Tea: We have to stop saying that word in front of Little E.
Todd: I thought talking in front of kids his age was a good thing.
Tea: Not when he could pick up on that kind of language.
Todd: It'll be good for him. He'll be the most popular kid on the playground.
Tea: I thought you went shopping?
Todd: We got back a few minutes ago. We were out on the deck. I heard you moving around in here and figured you finally came to.
Tea: He's not supposed to be out in the sun at his age.
Todd: Relax! He was in his stroller with that part hanging over him.
Tea: Oh.
Todd: I thought you trusted me with the kid?
Tea: I do. I just worry about him.
Todd (to Little E): Telling Auntie Tea that we didn't do anything more dangerous than getting fitted for tuxes today.
Tea: You didn't!
Todd: You want us to look cool for the wedding, don't you?
Tea: There will be no wedding.
Todd: I paid a ton of money for the tuxes to be ready whenever we give them a date.
Tea: How about never?
Todd: We'll have to do it before the kid grows too much. The way he slurps down his food, we don't have much time for you to pretend to play hard to get.
Tea: You fed him?
Todd: We split a milkshake at the mall.
Tea: I know you're kidding about the milkshake but did you really go to a mall?
Todd: I didn't want to but the kid forced me to go with him. He wanted to take another ride on that stupid carrousel thing.
Tea: You were there when I took him on the carrousel?
Todd: I almost came out of hiding to stop you. Real men don't ride carrousels.
Tea: It sounds like you did today.
Todd: No way. I made it clear that if he wanted to degrade himself by riding one of those things, he'd have to do it alone.
Tea: He walked on all by himself?
Todd: He just pretends around you that he can't do that walking thing because he's lazy and likes being carried around.
Tea: Don't worry, Todd, I'll keep your secret. I'll keep all of them.
[Tea tears up the note he had left her.]
Todd: Wait! You don't have to tear up the part that lied about you liking the way I do you.
Tea: I never said that I didn't like that.
[Tea takes her nephew from Todd and leaves the bedroom.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 78:
[Todd follows Tea into the kitchen where she places her nephew in his motorized swing and turns it on.]
Todd: Either you're lying to me or you've had some lousy luck with guys.
Tea: I have had lousy luck but that's irrelevant. It's not a lie. You're very exciting to be with.
[Todd grabs Tea's arm and leads her out of the room, into the empty living room.]
Tea: When is the furniture being delivered?
Todd: You didn't want me buying you furniture, remember?
Tea: I remember you. When will it be here?
Todd: Tomorrow. Now, stop talking about stupid stuff and tell me what the hell you meant.
[Tea brings her body closer to his and caresses his chest through his shirt.]
Tea: You are a very sexy man, Todd Manning.
Todd: I never thought you'd be the type to get into drugs, Delgado.
Tea: Why don't you believe me?
Todd: Maybe because you've been telling me for weeks now that I suck as a fuck.
Tea: Have you been reading Little E's rhyming books?
Todd: Give me a straight answer.
Tea: You can be quick with your stick.
Todd: Am I supposed to think that's cute?
[Tea places her arms around his neck and brings her body firmly against his.]
Tea: I hope you think I'm cute.
[Todd takes hold of both her arms and removes them from his neck as he steps away from her.]
Todd: Now I know you're on drugs. You're either on crack or you have cracked.
Tea: You promised me last night that you would fuck me in the morning.
Todd: You burst into tear when I was saying that junk to you.
Tea: I was emotional last night.
Todd: And now you want to punish yourself by letting me do you again?
Tea: It wouldn't be punishment. It would be physical bliss.
Todd: Since when?
Tea: Go slow and, trust me, I'll enjoy it even more than you do.
Todd: That's not even physically possible.
Tea: Going slow?
Todd: You know what I meant. And, I did go slow, that one time.
Tea: That's how I know how good it can be when you allow me to be involved.
Todd: You're always involved. Sometimes my needs are just more important than yours are.
Tea: Can this be one of the times when my needs are equal to yours?
Todd: Every time would be, if you'd just stop me and let me know what you want, instead of letting me think you're like every other chick who just wants it over with as fast as possible.
Tea: I don't think most women want that, most of the time, anyway.
Todd: With me, that's all any of them have ever wanted.
Tea: That can't be true.
Todd: Maybe not the first time, but after that...
Tea: I don't believe that. You're so sexy.
Todd: What the hell is wrong with you today?
Tea: You want to fuck. I want to fuck. Let's fuck!
Todd: What kind of trick is this?
Tea: I want to be with you. I want to feel you inside me. I want to feel your passion exploding...
Todd: Is this your new way of trying to get rid of me?
Tea: I've been thinking...
Todd: No wonder you're acting so weird.
Tea: Very funny!
Todd: What is this, Delgado? What's going on?
Tea: My heart is still off limits.
Todd: At least one thing is normal with you today.
Tea: You can't have my heart but you can certainly have my body.
Todd: All the time?
Tea: We'll work out a schedule.
Todd: A schedule?
Tea: I won't marry you. I won't go back to Llanview with you. And, I don't want anyone to know about your visits here.
Todd: You just want to screw around in secret?
Tea: Basically.
Todd: Why?
Tea: Because you're sexy.
Todd: Seriously, stop saying that.
Tea: You can't stop me from thinking it.
Todd: Whatever! It's creeping me out. Let me get this new thing straight...you're saying that you just want me to come and do you whenever I feel like it?
Tea: Whenever I feel like it, too. Like I said, we could work out a schedule. It wouldn't just be for our physical satisfaction, though.
Todd: What else?
Tea: You'll be a part of Little E's life, too. And, we can talk on the phone between visits.
Todd: While we sit alone in the dark, taking our needs into our own hands?
Tea (shocked): Todd!
Todd: With the way you're talking, I thought that's what you meant.
Tea: Would you be okay doing that?
Todd: Are you nuts?
Tea: I'm nuts for your...
Todd (quickly interrupting her): Don't even say it, Delgado.
Tea: I am nuts about what you have to offer me.
Todd: I don't get it.
Tea: You've been working so hard to win me over. You don't have to. I'll be your lawyer and ensure that you get custody of your kids, so you don't have to marry me for that. You're welcome visit Little E whenever you want, so you don't have to marry me to keep him in your life. And, we'll continue our physical relationship on a regular basis, so you don't have to marry me for that, either. We'll both get everything that we want.
Todd: I want you to marry me.
Tea: I'm offering you a better deal. As your lawyer, I recommend you take it.
Todd: As my lawyer, you're supposed to make sure I get everything I want, not just some of it. I want all of it. I want you to be my wife. I want you to be my lawyer. And, sure as hell want to do you again...as soon as you stop playing this game.
Tea: You can do me as soon as you agree to no marriage and no emotional involvement.
Todd: No way! No deal!
Tea: Okay.
[Tea casually turns and leaves a frustrated Todd alone in the living room as she returns to the kitchen to check on her nephew.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 79:
[Moments later...
Todd briefly joins Tea and Little Enrique in the kitchen.]
Todd: I'm taking off.
[Tea follows Todd out of the kitchen and toward the front door of her house.]
Tea: You're going back to Llanview?
Todd: Are you going to beg me to stay?
Tea: No.
Todd: Then, why should I bother anymore?
Tea: No reason that I can think of...well, besides...
Todd: Besides, what?
Tea: We did discuss a certain activity.
Todd: You want to do that before I go?
Tea: I was just going to make myself some breakfast, but we could do that first.
Todd: Breakfast? Do you know what time it is?
Tea: Call it lunch. I could make your favorite.
Todd: How would you know what my favorite lunch is?
Tea: I shared many lunches with you in the past, remember? Along with many dinners...and breakfasts...
Todd: Is that your way of saying you want me to stay for dinner...and breakfast?
Tea: It was your decision to come here and you've made it quite clear that it will be your decision when you leave. I was simply recalling the many times I had the unique experience of watching you eat.
Todd: Right, back when we were married, back before you decided to just use me as a plaything.
Tea: A plaything, huh?
Todd: You'll have to hold that thought. Your plaything needs to get some clean clothes or you won't want to play with him anymore.
Tea: Is that why you were leaving?
Todd: If I told you it was, would that make you happy?
Tea: I could wash what you're wearing.
Todd: Because you don't want to let me out of your sight?
Tea: I just thought that would be easier.
Todd: I get it. You just want me to have to walk around here naked.
Tea: Give me your clothes and we'll find something else to do while they're washing.
Todd: What about the kid?
Tea: Your trip to the mall must have exhausted him. He's already asleep.
Todd: Why do you keep his swing thing in the kitchen now, anyway?
Tea: Because, I haven't gotten around to buying furniture for the living room yet. Right now, we spend most of our time in the kitchen, when we're not in one of the bedrooms.
Todd: You won't have to much longer.
Tea: If I don't like the furniture you bought, I'm sending it back. If I do like it, let me know how much it cost and I'll write you a check.
Todd: I only accept cash.
Tea: I'll go to the bank.
Todd: Why won't you let me buy you stuff?
Tea: Because, I don't want you to think that you're buying me.
Todd: Why not?
Tea: Because I'm not for sale.
Todd: I just haven't found the right price yet.
Tea: You never will again.
Todd: Please! If I was broke, you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me.
Tea: I haven't wanted that knowing you were wealthy, remember?
Todd: So, why aren't you trying to kick me out anymore?
Tea: Because, clearly you won't leave. We'll do this for a little while. You'll get bored soon enough and go looking for another challenge. Or, you'll do the work necessary to put your family back together and you won't be interested in spending time here anymore.
Todd: With the deal you're offering, I could do both.
Tea: I'm not interested in being your mistress.
Todd: You're not interested in being my wife, either.
Tea: I gave you the best offer that I could.
Todd: You're lying to yourself if you think you can have me around here all the time and not feel anything.
Tea: You somehow managed that during the time we were married.
Todd: That's different. I'm a heartless bastard.
[For a brief moment, Todd notices a flash of pain in Tea's eyes, before she looks away from him. Seconds later, when her gaze returns to his, her eyes are cold and distant.]
Tea: Am I making lunch or are we fucking?
Todd: Oh, we're definitely fucking. I'm going to fuck you real slow, just like you like it.
Tea: A quickie would seem more appropriate for the time of day.
Todd: Not for the way I feel about you. I'm going to show you that I love you and you're not going to be able to stop yourself from showing that you love me, too. Prepare yourself, Delgado. Your walls are about to cave.
[Todd approaches her. She looks at him nervously, but allows him to come to her. His tender kiss threatens all her resolve as his strong arms hold her against him.]
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SMALL BLESSINGS
chapter 80:
[Minutes later...
Todd has Tea pressed against the front door of her home, while they kiss and caress each other. Their tongues playfully dance together as moans echo through the empty entryway.
One of Todd's hands pulls on the material of the nightgown she's still wearing, causing it to rise up her leg. As Todd pulls his body slightly away from her, intending to remove her nightgown, she places her hands on his chest, trying to push his body further away from her.]
Tea: Wait.
Todd: No.
Tea: I need some time first.
[Todd brings his body closer to hers again as he caresses her bare thigh.]
Todd: Let yourself feel this.
Tea: I can't.
Todd: It's too late. You already are. You feel this, Delgado. Stop trying to fight it.
[Todd's lips descend upon hers again, trying to use her passion for him to his advantage. She quickly puts an end to their kiss.]
Tea: No!
[With determination, Tea pushes him away from her.]
Tea: You need to leave. Right now!
Todd: No way.
Tea: You said you wouldn't force me.
Todd: I'm not. I don't have to. You want this.
Tea: Did you think your other victims wanted it, too?
[Tea regrets the pain she knows she's causing him but her facial expression remains cold as she does what she feels she must to protect herself.]
Todd: Why are you doing this?
Tea: I want you to stop. You refuse to hear that.
Todd: You were kissing me like that, because you wanted me to stop? You were pulling my body closer to yours, because you wanted me to stop? You had your hand on my ass, because you wanted me to stop?
Tea: I changed my mind.
Todd: You got scared.
Tea: I remembered the past...your past.
Todd: This doesn't have a damn thing to do with my past. This is about your past. This is about little Teita's mami walking out on her because she wasn't interested in being her mami anymore.
Tea: Shut up!
Todd: You shut up! You gave me some stupid song and dance about seeing the abandoned little boy inside me and how you'd never do that to me. You claimed you'd never treat me like dirt, the way everyone else always has. But, here you are. You're even worse than all of them combined. You dig around inside me, getting me to trust you, while you gather all the dirt you can, and then you toss it back in my face the first chance you get. All because you're a coward.
Tea: You should know about cowards.
Todd: What's that supposed to mean?
Tea: You pretend to the world that you're a dangerous lion. You snarl at anyone who gets too close. But, really you're nothing but a cowardly lion.
Todd: Enough of this garbage! I only came here for the fucking. Either get your clothes off or I'll find someone who will.
Tea: You do that! I'm just glad that I'll never have to put myself through that experience again.
Todd: Because you hated every second of it?
Tea: Yes!
[Todd searches her eyes for any sign that she's now lying to him. Her eyes remain cold and distant.
Todd approaches her. Her body shakes as his hands touch her, knowing that she won't be able to maintain this false facade much longer.
Todd moves her body out of the way and yanks open the door. The door slams behind him as he rushes out of her house, and out of her life.
Tea's hand touches the door as she begins to cry, realizing the lifetime of agony she just ensured herself.]
to be continued...
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2001 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
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